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Seems to be a bit much.

YadaYadaYada

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Feb 2, 2016
Messages
5,956
We are going to a wedding in July, it will be a destination wedding since we live in CT and the wedding is on Long Island. There are no children allowed, which is fine, we arranged for a relative to watch our kids. A lot of people going are coming from out of state and the wedding party has really been left to fend for themselves as far as information about accommodations. When we asked questions about how to get there, where to park etc. it's as if we are bothering her but half of us have never been there and don't know what to expect.

As time goes on I'm getting the feeling that she expects this to be her year not just her day. My husband is in the wedding so a month ago we found out that the rehearsal dinner was the night before the wedding, not unusual, except it is on Long Island which means a ferry to get there and either staying overnight or paying to take a ferry back and then doing the whole thing again the next day. Plus for us it was a bit more complicated because I can't travel alone due to my memory problems so we got special permission from her that we could skip the rehearsal but he will need to be available to FaceTime so he can see what the plan is. Okay, no problem.

Last night she sends a message out on FB to the groomsmen to let them know that getting their suits will be an all day affair and they will all need to take the day off from work. Thing is the groom and one other guy in the wedding work for my husband at the same company so now that is three employees that need the day off. I remarked that if she is requiring a whole day that two of the guys won't be paid for, they should be fronting any transportation and food costs that day. Just my two cents.

On top of that the best man sent out the invitation for the stag which would be held at a strip club and then this morning had to let everyone know that he had to scrap that plan because the bride lost it and a huge fight ensued between her and the groom so the groom caved and told them to forget it because she was not allowing a stag at a strip club.

It's just all a bit much to me but then our wedding was low key at a bed and breakfast and all we asked is that people show up and eat! I guess to each their own but I'm thinking she will be a real peach on the big day.
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Jun 8, 2008
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34,108
LOL I feel for you and yes IMO it is a bit much but as you wrote to each their own and it is up to you what to partake in and what not to partake in. As for the strip club for the groom and his men well I am on the same page there as the bride. I find it demeaning to women in general and would not be pleased if my dh would want to partake in that activity. Just my opinion of course.

I am sorry she is being such a prima donna and hope the wedding is fun anyway.
 

telephone89

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Aug 29, 2014
Messages
3,847
Good lord. Where should I start.

1) Try contacting someone besides the B&G about parking, etc. They will likely have so much on their mind, that yes, it would be annoying for everyone to be asking them. I'd try MOB or MOG for this info.

2) Rehearsal/Rehearsal dinner is NEVER mandatory to attend. It's really not that difficult to walk down the aisle, and if he misses it he can get the low down from the other groomsmen day of.

3) The groomsmen do not have to go all together to get suits. I would say a big F*** No to having to take a day off to buy a dress - same theory. Tbh I'd get the style of suit they want, and go get measured on a different day. It literally makes no difference on the wedding if they get measured together or not.

4) Personal opinion. I think if the bride is that unhappy about a strip club then they shouldn't go. Weddings are about 2 people becoming 1 unit, and starting that off with pissing her off probably isn't good. You aren't supposed to plan your own bachelor/ette party, but maybe the BM didn't check with the G to see if the B would be upset about a strip club haha. Plus, you don't need naked women to have fun :lol: I'm sure they can go to a bar or something.

Sigh. It's a shame weddings have turned into the monster they have.
 

YadaYadaYada

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Feb 2, 2016
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5,956
Truth be told, I wasn't crazy about the strip club but I wasn't going to tell him he couldn't go. I was like eh, it is what it is.

I will have a good time regardless, this will be our first adult outing in a long time!
 

azstonie

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 1, 2014
Messages
3,758
Ugh.

What a sense of entitlement.

I presume she wants to *look* beautiful as a bride, yet her behavior is ugly (*telling* someone to take the DAY off of work? Um, no.).
 

wildcat03

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 11, 2011
Messages
503
I totally see where you are coming from on the whole suit/taking a day off thing. But I'm kind of lost on all the other stuff.

It is polite for a couple to block rooms, but in the day and age of Expedia/Hotels.com/etc. it's not hard to find out what hotel suits your needs and is close to where you want to be. I actually find it interesting that you say, "When we ask her..." because answering all the questions shouldn't fall on the bride. Since it's the groom that your husband is close to, shouldn't he ask him?

As far as the rehearsal dinner, I honestly don't see your gripe. When you agree to be in the wedding party you usually accept that this means a rehearsal dinner and an overnight if you live far from the venue. Not to mention that she actually said it would be ok if he didn't come.

And honestly, the strip club thing is one of the oldest pre-wedding fights in the book. Not really a unique or bridezilla moment as far as I am concerned.
 

PintoBean

Ideal_Rock
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Jul 27, 2011
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6,383
If you know the venue already, give them a call. The venue will let you know about parking, and what lodging is nearby.
 

YadaYadaYada

Ideal_Rock
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Feb 2, 2016
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5,956
wildcat03|1457124400|3999902 said:
I totally see where you are coming from on the whole suit/taking a day off thing. But I'm kind of lost on all the other stuff.

It is polite for a couple to block rooms, but in the day and age of Expedia/Hotels.com/etc. it's not hard to find out what hotel suits your needs and is close to where you want to be. I actually find it interesting that you say, "When we ask her..." because answering all the questions shouldn't fall on the bride. Since it's the groom that your husband is close to, shouldn't he ask him?

As far as the rehearsal dinner, I honestly don't see your gripe. When you agree to be in the wedding party you usually accept that this means a rehearsal dinner and an overnight if you live far from the venue. Not to mention that she actually said it would be ok if he didn't come.

And honestly, the strip club thing is one of the oldest pre-wedding fights in the book. Not really a unique or bridezilla moment as far as I am concerned.
The best man asked the bride via text one time about parking and it was the hotel they blocked rooms at. That was it, she is not being bombarded by a laundry list of questions. Actually after that one question we handled the rest ourselves. So we are not pestering her.

Not really griping about the rehearsal dinner except that it took my husband having a heart to heart with the groom and basically almost having to pull out of the wedding to get him excused. Thing is the other people in the party will be leaving their kids for essentially two nights, if you don't have a good support system (like us) it is a huge undertaking plus having to pay someone for all that time. It's a lot for the average person.

At one point we brought to her attention that the time that she has on their wedding site for the wedding is wrong to which she responded "John, what do you care you will already be there". Mind you it might be important to have the correct time so that people aren't two hours late. People are making huge accommodations to attend this wedding the least she can do is have a decent attitude and some attention to detail. Just my opinion.
 

wildcat03

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 11, 2011
Messages
503
StephanieLynn|1457126956|3999926 said:
The best man asked the bride via text one time about parking and it was the hotel they blocked rooms at. That was it, she is not being bombarded by a laundry list of questions. Actually after that one question we handled the rest ourselves. So we are not pestering her.

Not really griping about the rehearsal dinner except that it took my husband having a heart to heart with the groom and basically almost having to pull out of the wedding to get him excused. Thing is the other people in the party will be leaving their kids for essentially two nights, if you don't have a good support system (like us) it is a huge undertaking plus having to pay someone for all that time. It's a lot for the average person.

At one point we brought to her attention that the time that she has on their wedding site for the wedding is wrong to which she responded "John, what do you care you will already be there". Mind you it might be important to have the correct time so that people aren't two hours late. People are making huge accommodations to attend this wedding the least she can do is have a decent attitude
and some attention to detail. Just my opinion.

Like I said, I just don't see why it falls to the bride to answer all these questions. Especially if they've blocked rooms at a hotel that you can call and ask about parking! And honestly, if someone asked me about parking at a hotel I blocked rooms at I'd probably refer them to the hotel. Between two full time careers, planning a wedding, and the rest of life, my fiancé and I just can't keep accurate track of small things like that. It seems silly to expect someone to keep track of that, especially when the information is readily available from another source.

And you kind of are griping about the rehearsal dinner. It was your husband's choice to be in the wedding party. Generally that does come with the expectation that one will attend the rehearsal dinner. If that doesn't work for your family, that's something that you'll have to work out with your husband - the one who made this commitment. But it's not really the bride's fault.

As far as the website, I find it interesting that (once again) this is all the bride's responsibility. Shouldn't the groom also be responsible? I guess if people miss her wedding because she wasn't attentive to details, that will be her problem - not yours.
 
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