Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your wall!

[Dee*Jay]

So the other night I heard this *noise* when I was sitting down in my office on the first floor. I chose to ignore it because (a) I had never heard it before so I figured, whatever, and just got on with my life, (b) the dogs didn't seem disturbed, and they are disturbed by most things, so if they didn't care, why should I?, and (c) denial ain't just a river in Egypt...

Anyway, let's just say over the course of several days the noise became undeniable. I started thinking it over and frankly if they ever make a move called Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest, I am will be the star. Let me expound:

It occurred to me that the most likely thing is that WHATEVER It IS probably came in when the garage door was open and somehow got into the interior wall from the garage. So I went down to the garage to look for holes, and loe and behold, when I opened the door from the house to the garage, the garage door itself was open. And had been for about four hours at that point. Because I forgot to close it again after bringing The Demon and Oscar in from their noon walk. And let's just say this is not the first time the door has remained open. Not to mention, I always leave it up when I'm out with them, which is typically 30+ mins at a time.

Then I started thinking, hmmm, maybe I should bring the 50 lb bag of dogfood inside so WHATEVER IT IS doesn't any brilliant ideas about having a buffet on me. When I picked up the bag, food leaked out all over the floor from ALL THE HOLES that WHATEVER IT IS has already made so it can get to the smorgasboard of dog food.

And then I SWEAR I heard a rustling sound SOMEWHERE in the garage, and so I came screaming (literally) back inside. I never liked that Lexus anyway. Whoever buys the house can have it. And the Christmas tree. And the antique dresser with the beautiful cut glass knobs. And everything else that's in the garage... because I'm never going out there again.

I called the management office in my complex and the maintenance guy wants to cut a hole in the drywall in my office to get the thing to come out. HELLO DUMBFVCK, I DON'T WANT THE THING TO COME OUT INTO MY OFFICE!!! What would I do then? Show it how to use the fax machine? Find out how many words a minute it can type? Ask it to get me coffee???

They also said they can put poison in the wall, but won't it just die in there? Thanks sounds... um... DISGUSTING and VASTLY UNAPPEALING.

I looked up traps on line, but frankly I don't know what I'm trapping... I HOPE HOPE HOPE (PLEASE GOD!!!) it's only a mouse and not a *R*A*T*, or even a squirrel. But the scratching sounds pretty... *big*... bigger than a mouse, anyway.

And (and I know this seems utterly ridiculous--even to me!) but I am not comfortable with the idea of killing an animal (any animal), but the no-kill traps scare the sh!t out of me because I don't want to have to release WHATEVER IT IS. What if it's MAD? (I would be!) What if it wants to have a *show down*? What if it runs TOWARD me instead of AWAY from me?!?

Help me... WHAT DO I DO NOW?!?

 

[chemgirl]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

Something similar happened when I was a kid. There was a mouse in the garage and it got in to the shared wall so we could hear it inside. It was driving the cat crazy. My dad found a hole that it had chewed in the rubber stripping at the bottom of the garage door. He guessed that it was a mouse and trapped it. Problem solved right? Nope! The mouse had babies and they were in the wall....they ended up starving to death because we couldn't get to them without cutting open the wall. Bring on the horrible stench of death for 2 weeks. Lovely time really.

Sorry I can't be more helpful!

I suppose this is an example of what not to do.

 

[Dee*Jay]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

Something similar happened when I was a kid. There was a mouse in the garage and it got in to the shared wall so we could hear it inside. It was driving the cat crazy. My dad found a hole that it had chewed in the rubber stripping at the bottom of the garage door. He guessed that it was a mouse and trapped it. Problem solved right? Nope! The mouse had babies and they were in the wall....they ended up starving to death because we couldn't get to them without cutting open the wall. Bring on the horrible stench of death for 2 weeks. Lovely time really.

Sorry I can't be more helpful!

I suppose this is an example of what not to do.

I am currently hiding out in the living room considering my options. I REALLY REALLY REALLY want a drink, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to go to the hardware store and I don't want to show up reeking of alcohol.

 

[Tuckins1]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

Either you allow them to put out poison, you put out a trap of some sort, or you live with it.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

Okay, I've never committed this story to type so you better appreciate it!! Lol

My middle son had a bad habit of leaving the van door open, even overnight a few times... Thank god for a safe neighborhood! Anyway, one day after driving around and we are pulling into the driveway my daughter says she saw something. We all get out and my daughter says she doesn't know what it was and my husband poopoos her and chalks it up to loose kid garbage plus wild imagination.

Several days go by. The car was getting cleaner... Fewer french fries and the like... But you don't notice it getting cleaner until the day everyone is getting out again and something fat dashes from under one set of chairs to another set.... She insists this time it is an animal. My husband still doesn't believe her but he starts looking and sure enough he sees something waddle to the very back of the vehicle. We leave all the doors open and he opens the back but does it leave? No! It runs to the front and climbs up the driver pedals and into the dashboard. It's safe now. Cannot get to it. And it's a big fat rat. What sucks more than having a rat in your car? Needing to drive it knowing it's in there! We left the doors open for several hours but it didn't leave! Just ate things we tempted it out with and hid again! So my husband got a sticky trap and the next morning there was fur stuck to it but no rat!! So then he got a spring trap and a couple days later it is done, I asked no details.

And that was the week our van got christened The Ratmobile. Move the Lexus before it's too late lol

 

[HollyS]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

"What if it's MAD? (I would be!) What if it wants to have a *show down*? What if it runs TOWARD me instead of AWAY from me?!?"


What if it's a skunk???

Word to the wise: Don't leave garage doors open. Don't leave bags of dog food out; put them inside plastic containers or garbage bags. Dog and cat food will attract skunks, squirrels, possums, racoons, rats, mice, and snakes. Snakes are probably hibernating right now, but any one of the other possibilities . . . is indeed a possibility.

 

[lliang_chi]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

Dee, OMG, I feel for you honey. You can call an extermination service. They can take care of trapping/killing then removing said thing from your premises. I assure you, you are not the first person who wants nothing to do with solving this problem. I wouldn't either.

And if you ever want that drink gimme a shout We're back to Red Wine Weather now...

 

[gemgirl]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

Dee, OMG, I feel for you honey. You can call an extermination service. They can take care of trapping/killing then removing said thing from your premises. I assure you, you are not the first person who wants nothing to do with solving this problem. I wouldn't either.

And if you ever want that drink gimme a shout We're back to Red Wine Weather now...

Completely and totally agree- call a professional! They know exactly what to do and how to handle these things/creatures. After they've come and gone, then have a big 'ole drink.

 

[lliang_chi]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

Completely and totally agree- call a professional! They know exactly what to do and how to handle these things/creatures. After they've come and gone, then have a big 'ole drink.

There are some things I can DIY, and there are others that I don't... This and yucky plumbing (like toilets) are squarely on my DON'T list.

~Lisa

 

[ksinger]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

But nothing beats the skunk walled up in the outer entryway pillar (think "The Cask of Amantillado") at my cousin's posh home in Texas. Her husband comes home, sees a little slit and debris down by the concrete. "D****** Laura, didn't you make sure those workman got this thing fixed..rant rant." Then their two young sons notice a nose in the hole(the hole is a bout 5" wide and about 1" high, right at the base of the concrete. "Hey! There's something IN there!!" Panic ensues. The elder son runs in to get his animal book. Well, the nose (if you get down where you can see it as it periodically shows up then disappears) is black with a white stripe on either side. Yep. Skunk. And clearly NOT a tiny one either.

So dad shoves in a big wad of steel wool. Why, you ask? Who the heck knows, but an hour later, the steel wool is GONE. Eaten?? Who knows. Discussion is ongoing of course, of how a critter the size of a skunk could get in this pillar, which was a rather flat rectangle and not freestanding, but rectangular and butted against brick. It is closed at the top, no openings that they knew of (this house had JUST been completed), and no way had he gotten in from the bottom. We figured he was in there with his nose down, and butt up the inside of the pillar.

The fire department is called. They tell us that we'd best NOT try to let it out, to wait for it to get out on its own. Which we did. The next morning, the hole was about a half-inch higher, there was more debris, and NO SKUNK!! YAY!! Must have flattened himself out like a pancake to crawl out of there.

How he got IN there remains an unsolved mystery to this day...

I'm sure this made you feel MUCH better, right??

 

[missy]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

I vote for getting a no kill trap and then when whatever it is gets trapped call animal rescue (or whatever similar organization there is in your neighborhood). Only because you said it could be a squirrel or something of that size. I wonder if it could be a stray cat? In any case then you are safe and have a clean conscience.

 

[LALove]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

Dee J I laughed out loud while reading your post!!!!!

I can totally visualize how it all went down and, while do I sympathize, It's pretty hysterical!

(what the ---- was THAT!)
(hmm.. Dogs don't seem to mind so I'll just carry on. Who cares about creepy sounds coming from inside my walls?! Not ME!)
(doo dee doo...)
(damn noise is still there..)
(let me just take in this smorgasbord of kibbles n bits..)
(holy ----! it's IN here!!!!!!!!)
(run inside screaming as if Freddy Kreuger himself is after you!!!)
(grab some wine and your iPad to summon help and hide in the closet..)

If you're not a writer- you should be!

I agree with calling an exterminator- why reenact an episode of When Animals Attack when you can hire someone to do it for you?

 

[ksinger]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

FYI -

22 shot shells loaded with number 12 shot, and fired from waist-high, will NOT penetrate the carpet.

Do NOT ask how I know this.

 

[canuk-gal]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

Okay, I've never committed this story to type so you better appreciate it!! Lol

My middle son had a bad habit of leaving the van door open, even overnight a few times... Thank god for a safe neighborhood! Anyway, one day after driving around and we are pulling into the driveway my daughter says she saw something. We all get out and my daughter says she doesn't know what it was and my husband poopoos her and chalks it up to loose kid garbage plus wild imagination.

Several days go by. The car was getting cleaner... Fewer french fries and the like... But you don't notice it getting cleaner until the day everyone is getting out again and something fat dashes from under one set of chairs to another set.... She insists this time it is an animal. My husband still doesn't believe her but he starts looking and sure enough he sees something waddle to the very back of the vehicle. We leave all the doors open and he opens the back but does it leave? No! It runs to the front and climbs up the driver pedals and into the dashboard. It's safe now. Cannot get to it. And it's a big fat rat. What sucks more than having a rat in your car? Needing to drive it knowing it's in there! We left the doors open for several hours but it didn't leave! Just ate things we tempted it out with and hid again! So my husband got a sticky trap and the next morning there was fur stuck to it but no rat!! So then he got a spring trap and a couple days later it is done, I asked no details.

And that was the week our van got christened The Ratmobile. Move the Lexus before it's too late lol

I wish I hadn't read this, I'll be mortified til I die.

Call the professionals, DJ. Don't leave any thing toxic around with your dogs near. Oh and call the beverage guys--they deliver!

cheers--Sharon

 

[artdecogirl]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

Dee Jay, you are hysterical!!! I agree with the exterminator suggestion, well worth the cost I think when you do not know what it is. I had mouse evidence in my car this fall and was freaked out and telling my dtr in law about it and told her if I ever saw it I think I could be going down the freeway at 80 mph and I would not even think but just open the door and jump out and she looked at me and said "I totally agree and all I can say is tuck and roll, tuck and roll" (dh set a trap and that was the end of it).

 

[Dee*Jay]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

"What if it's MAD? (I would be!) What if it wants to have a *show down*? What if it runs TOWARD me instead of AWAY from me?!?"


What if it's a skunk???

Word to the wise: Don't leave garage doors open. Don't leave bags of dog food out; put them inside plastic containers or garbage bags. Dog and cat food will attract skunks, squirrels, possums, racoons, rats, mice, and snakes. Snakes are probably hibernating right now, but any one of the other possibilities . . . is indeed a possibility.

Holly, my friend, when I read the word *S*N*A*K*E* I pulled myself together, gathered the courage (and knee high boots) to get into the Lexus (despite that fact that I'm now convinced it is varmit ridden -- thanks Sara! [although I do love the image of a big fat rat waddling around the car eating left over french fries!]) and went to Home Depot and got a trap. If this thing does indeed turn out to be a *S*N*A*K*E* you all won't hear from me for a while because I will be first recovering from my nervous breakdown, and then moving into a new home because I will not spend one more moment in this one. But there is now a peanut butter laden Have A Heart positioned, what I hope is enticintly, in front of my big filing cabinet (which I'm now convinced harbors skunks and stray cats... ) in the deepest darkest corner of the garage. And the dog food now lives in a rubbermaid container so big that I may haul it into the alley during the summer and host pool parties, but it's the first thing I could find and I wasn't exactly interested in *shopping*.

So now I am perched on the edge of the couch waiting for the tell tale metal "snick" that will signal The Next Step In This Process. The guy at Home Depot told me to throw a towel over the trap once WHATEVER IT IS is in there. I was like, oh, so I am not disturbed by the sight of IT? He said, no, because that will calm IT. Uh huh. I haven't fully thought that through yet, but I'm going to let it go for now.

And I switched from red wine to white becuase I'm afraid when I do hear that "snick" I will likely spill whatever I'm drinking when I jump and scream. My couch is cream colored velvet...

Deep breaths, deep breaths...

 

[NOYFB]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

Yikes! I have to admit I am laughing my butt off at your writing, but freaking out for you as well. I can just imagine you sitting on the edge of the couch, knees up to your chin, sipping your white wine and waiting for IT to show up!

I hope it is something as harmless as a squirrel. They are awfully cute!

 

[Skippy123]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

YUCK D, you want to get it out before it dies. The smell is horrible (I smelled something in class when I was a kid and sure enough when the teacher went to check it out it was dead). There are humane traps. My hubby is like you and doesn't like to kill anything so you should try one of those.

 

[lovemybling]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

OK I have nothing to contribute to your problem, But I am sitting here laughing so hard I have tears running down my face and my daughter who know this is my RING site is very confused.

Good Luck

 

[Matata]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

Dee*Jay I hope it's a mouse. Rats have long memories....very long memories. And they can use tools ....

 

[Autumnovember]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

Another laugher right here !

So sorry but your writing is seriously awesome and hilarious!

 

[somethingshiny]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

So funny!

Sounds like a squirrel or raccoon. Snakes don't generally scratch.

 

[lliang_chi]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

Dee, Wow, I'm so impressed you're going to DIY route. Keep us posted. And, me personally, would switch from red wine to vodka... What, it's clear and there's a thing in the wall... Just kidding... sorta.

 

[Gothgrrl]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

Oh dear. What has your hubby say? Keep all dog food in your home and don't go through the garage to walk the dogs. Take a deep breath and it'll be ok. It probably will be just a tiny, cute little mousey.

 

[Gypsy]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

OMG. ROFLMAO here. Honey, I've got 5 cats, take your pick and I will mail the chosen one out (I don't recommend chosing Merlin, he's part retriever so he'll just bring Whatever It Is back to you... probably while you are in bed). Lucy is part mouser and I'm more than willing to send her out.

We had a mouse once in the house and, not to give you ideas, but my mom set up all the chairs in the house down the hallway from the kitchen to the bedroom to the front door and didn't walk on the floor once until we caught it (not sure the purpose of this, as I pointed out to her [I was 12, and precocious] mice CAN climb).

I doubt it's a snake. I'm thinking chipmunk. We used to get those in NJ. They are cute... just think you could have the next boy band of chipunks in your wall.

((HUGS)) and vodka will leave even less of a stain on the couch.

 

[Miss Sparkly]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

I highly doubt that it's a snake. They don't make scratching noises. For your own health I would get somebody in there to get it out ASAP. Rodents are carriers of the hantavirus which can become a very serious illness in humans. Not trying to scare you, just saying that it's best to have a professional come in, set the kill traps, and keep everybody safe. You also don't want whatever it is breeding in your walls or chewing your electrical wires either. Crossing my fingers that it's an easy fix! Good luck!

 

[Cind11]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

Dee J I laughed out loud while reading your post!!!!!

I can totally visualize how it all went down and, while do I sympathize, It's pretty hysterical!

(what the ---- was THAT!)
(hmm.. Dogs don't seem to mind so I'll just carry on. Who cares about creepy sounds coming from inside my walls?! Not ME!)
(doo dee doo...)
(damn noise is still there..)
(let me just take in this smorgasbord of kibbles n bits..)
(holy ----! it's IN here!!!!!!!!)
(run inside screaming as if Freddy Kreuger himself is after you!!!)
(grab some wine and your iPad to summon help and hide in the closet..)

If you're not a writer- you should be!

I agree with calling an exterminator- why reenact an episode of When Animals Attack when you can hire someone to do it for you?

Wow all this exactly!! Your post was hysterically funny!! I have no good advice but I agree with LALove that you should be a writer! I hope you find a solution.

 

[Deelight]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

Dee your post made me laugh if you lived here I would say it sounds like a possum but I have seen what possums look like in the states and they are not cute and cuddly like ours

OMG whatever it is I hope it goes on it's merry way soon

 

[Ara Ann]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

EEEK!

I hope you can catch it, humanely too! I'd be freaking out too. Keep us posted as the case unravels!


Also, a word of warning...not sure if anyone does this, but my neighbor had left baskets of laundry in her garage near her laundry room and one day found a dead mouse in her washing machine after she washed a load of towels...so it's not just food the little critters go after!

 

[MonkeyPie]

Re: Scratch scratch scratch - Hello! I'm THE THING in your w

This thread makes me nostalgic about Ellen's squirrel, lol.

Dee, I hope that trap went off overnight and the THING is caught. I can only imagine it, ugh!