TravelingGal
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2004
- Messages
- 17,193
So Rules of Engagement...feel free to add your own for either men or women - hopefully keeping it light and fun so all the LIWs can get a chuckle and just generally feel better!
Engagement 101 for men...
1. Do not tell your girlfriends that you will propose when they calm down and chill out about getting engaged. This will only cause them to have hospitalizable heart palpitations, or possibly grow another head.
2. Please see the below definitions of "soon":
-adv. soon•er, soon•est
-In the near future; shortly.
-Without hesitation; promptly: came as soon as possible.
-Before the usual or appointed time; early.
-With willingness; readily:
Therefore if the year you are thinking of proposing has different numbers than the one you are in now, REFRAIN from using this word. The meaning of "soon" to an engagement crazed female is literally "yesterday."
3. Do not. I repeat, DO NOT buy anything of value over $100 for yourself during the stretch of time before your engagement. Your girlfriend''s normally illogical mind will turn into a human calculator and compute all the items including tax and restocking fees. She''ll feel totally down the priorities list and quite possibly have a freak out, which usually leads to an episode of engagement tip #1.
4. No matter how much she says she will LOVE any ring you buy for her, she is lying. This may come as a shock to you, but women have been known to lie. Do not shop at a mall...that''s a place for your girlfriend to shop at. Do not buy from any vendor who is wearing more than one ring per hand. If the vendor is wearing a gold nugget ring, get the hell out of dodge.
5. Do not say things like "I don''t understand why we need a piece of paper…it doesn''t change things between us." JUST a piece of paper?!? Is that what you think? Well so is the roll of Charmin in your bathroom...it''s important...accept it and move on.
6. Do not tease or torment your lady about the engagement plans. Sure, it''s all fun and games to you now, but who will be laughing when you are married and she withholds the nookie? Payback’s a b*tch, dude.
7. You''re competitive right? You like your fantasy football team to win. You work hard to get promoted in your job first. Life''s just awesome when you clean house when the boys have poker night.
Well getting engaged is a competition too. You want to beat all her friends'' boyfriends to the punch. You''ll get extra points if you come in first, but your girlfriend will probably be happy if you don''t come in dead last. Who wants to be with a loser?
8. The TALK will happen several times. Always at inopportune moments like the last 5 minutes of a close football game. Get used to it. There will always be a TALK about something in life. The TALK is part of a woman’s genetic code and if you don''t like it, start batting for the other team. Tread carefully, as your words and actions can easily trigger a #1, and don''t, for pete''s sake, say the word "soon" unless you mean it (see #2).
Engagement 101 for women...
1. Calm down. Chill out. Please.