Ring ReDesign after baby? comments please

[marmar2013]

Hi All
I posted about a month or so ago asking advice because my two eternity rings and erring weren't fitting anymore. I gave birth 4 months ago and they haven't fit since I was 5 months preg. At the time, I asked about sizing, etc.

Now I am going to wait until im out 10-12 months post delivery to do anything but I have been thinking about what I can do.
I have always wanted more bling to my ering which is WHY I got the two eternity bands in the first place, to add more finger coverage.
Now my DH does not want me to change my ering and gets upset when I have mentioned upgrading for a larger center stone.
I feel like a jerk because he got me exactly what I wanted design wise. I told him I wanted a 3 stone princess cut.

I DIDN"T KNOW that rounds appear bigger then princess, I didn't know it would be better to have one large center so it stands out.
Anyway, I can't go back.

So, now here I am and none of my rings fit and I have a chance to do something with this and I wanted to ask for your input. As I was thinking if I told DH I just wanted to ADD the stones from my eternity bands TO my ering, I think he might be ok with that. The eternity bands don't fit & we can't get them sized so we will NEED to get new rings anyway, well at least new wedding bands.
So I was "thinking" what I could do was somehow add the stones from my eternity bands to my ering somehow, or maybe even have the ering redone to add them but keep the BASIC design of it the same? does that make sense at all? maybe have just one big ring or a bigger ering and one thin band?

here is a pic of my set and how I wore it? im thinking maybe a double halo 3 stone, but my center is small - 1.04 and the sides are close in size, they are .44 each.

my eternity bands have 28 stones each so I have 56 stones to add to my ering but I don't have a clue of what I could do. OR maybe I should leave it alone but I really want my ering to be more blingy and bigger. am I terrible?

I found some pics on line of a nice 3 stone princess with a halo BUT the center was 1.70 so that's why it looked so good. I just am lost and don't know what I can do to my ering to make it better/bigger/etc.

does anyone have any thoughts on what I can do? would really love to hear all your thoughts. thank you in advance

ALSO< my 5 year wedding anniversary is coming up in july so im hoping I can ask for "whatever" I decide as my gift for that. and my bday is that month also. At first I thought maybe I could trade in my 56 stones from eternity rings and get a nice good size 5 stone ring, but I would want at least .5 for each stone and then that would over power myering so I think its best to add to my current ering itself and I think that's the ONLY WAY DH will be ok with it anyway, if I say im just taking wedding band stones and adding them to ering.

 

[SB621]

Honestly, I have been here and done that. My DH was upset the first (few) times I brought up upgrading etc. We finally sat down and had a converation that the ring I picked out when 22 was just not the ring I wanted to wear for the rest of my life. I think he was hurt at first but ultimately just wanted me to be happy. So while your DH might not understand now if your heart is really set on upgrading and getting something more classic perhaps you should really sit down and have a talk. Perhaps keep your current ring for your children or have it be a RHR? i think a 3 stone is a great RHR though I might be biased as that is what I wear.

I probably wouldn't try changing around your set because honestly I just dont' think you will ever be 100% thrilled. Upgrade and get a larger center stone and then flank it with your eternities. I think that will look beautiful.

 

[JulieN]

Just start mentioning that your rings don't fit, you miss wearing them, it makes you sad your finger size hasn't gone down after the BABY. Don't say anything about changing/upgrading them for a while. Also start mentioning how happy/excited you are for your 5 YEAR anniversary.

 

[marmar2013]

thanks for your responses. I should also mention that $$ is a huge factor, we don't have a lot and just had a baby.

the most I could possibly have this cost would be maybe $1-2K out of pocket,.

that's why I was hoping to take my stones and do something with them so we are just mostly paying for the cost of them remaking it and not for more stones.

NOW, if I could convince DH to let me trade in my whole set, we could probably get $7-9K for it all (im totally guessing but I know my stones are good quality - just small) and my set is platinum. Then I could probably get a nice size round and new ering design. but I just don't know if I can get him to agree. he says the stones have sentimental value and he gets VERY upset when i talk about redoing my ring. I get it so I feel bad. but again im not happy.

I appreciate all comments on this. Also, "IF" and its a huge "IF" I could trade it my whole set and get a new stone and band, what is the best band design to make whatever stone we can get look bigger. obviously I would want a round stone and as big as we could get for whatever they gave me for my set, but then I also need a band and design.

then again, I know DH is going to be like "you want to get rid of the ring I gave you when i proposed?"

 

[distracts]

Honestly, I imagine making a halo setting for your diamonds would be an absolute minimum of 2k, and quite frankly I wouldn't trust the work at that price. And if you traded in your whole set and had a 10k budget, putting aside 2k for a stock halo setting, probably in 14k gold, the biggest decently cut I Si2 round you could get is about 1.3 carats. So you probably have way more bling in your set as it is.

 

[baby monster]

I wouldn't change your original set if your DH gets upset over it. If financial situation doesn't allow for a different ring but your finger feels very naked, I'd get a fakey to tie you over until 5yr anni. It'll give you some time to think about the new design and the finances might improve in the meantime.

 

[Circe]

I happen to fundamentally disagree with your husband, I'm afraid ... I think sentiment is an evolving thing, and the important thing is that you're both happy in an ongoing fashion. You were both happy initially ... now you feel less so (passage of time, baby, etc.), so, frankly, rather than expecting you to undergo emotional carbonization a la Han Solo, it seems like it might be more productive for him to expand his boundaries! I do think maybe having another conversation (or 3, or 9, or 19, or however many it takes ... I know my upgrade started out as a joke between me and my husband, evolved into a series of actual conversations, and concluded with a five-year anniversary ring a carat bigger than the original engagement ring).

I'd also, separately, say that if you don't want to risk it or if he proves obdurate, I'd probably suggest a few alternatives to a halo setting: princesses surrounded by rounds can be tricky and would, indeed, probably require a little more moola for the setting to be of good quality with all that pave. Alternately, a good bezel setting can, a) make a stone look much bigger, and, b) feel a lot more secure with a little one around: no need to worry about their getting scratched on the prongs, no need to worry about the stone getting knocked around on the playground, etc. You could even get a broad bezel with engraving on the frame (I've seen a couple of rings by Dave Klass (I think) in this style that have looked great). There are a couple of people here who have awesome wide-band rings that have a ton of finger presence and oomph, that also stack well with flanking bands ... perhaps those might be something to consider as an additional design element, maybe? If that sounds even vaguely appealing to you, I'll see if I can dig up some pictures ....

 

[marmar2013]

Yes that sounds interesting, I would love to see pics. Please post links to if able. Thank you very much!