Ring Maintenance ???

[chat_hard]

Hello !

It''s been close to 3 weeks since we got engaged (still working on the pics that I promised).... but now I seem to have a different problem.... here goes

My fiancee seems to treat the ring as the most fragile thing ever created ... so she takes it off while cleaning the dishes, going to the gym, going to the beach or even taking a shower !!!!!!!

No amount of my protests "diamonds being the hardest substance and platinum being the noblest of all metals " seem to help..... there is always the danger of the diamond "chipping, getting scratched" or the ring getting spoilt.....

Result -- the ring spends more time in the box than on her hand.......

can someone please, please help me explain my bride to be, that dishwashing soap will not melt her ring and if she does accidentally brush her hand against the china, it is the dish, not the diamond that is in danger !!!

 

[hoorray]

I hate to tell you this Chat_hard, but I have had jewelers tell me to do pretty much just what she is doing. (Don't wear it for housework, cooking or gardening...YOu can band up the setting, and possibly chip the girdle or sidestones, depending on the style of setting. I actually did ruin my first setting, but it was 18k gold, which is pretty soft.) I don't wear my rings for any sport that requires gloves (skiing, golf, weight lifting, etc. I'm not comfortable wearing them swimming because my fingers shrink in cold water, and if they slid off I'd be heartbroken...


But...you can bet I've got them on every time I leave the house and also when I'm not working around the house. I carry a little ring box in my purse to that I can take them off if need be.

 

[Hest88]

I actually do the same thing your fiancee does, though I know there are others here who wear it for everything. A diamond is hard, but one good bang along a plane would damage it pretty easily. Plus, the metal it's in will get scratched up. I was given a good "talking-to" by my jeweler about all the ways his clients had damaged or lost their rings--including the woman who wore her ring to lift weights until the bottom of the shank of almost completely worn away. A diamond ring is adornment, after all, and a precious item that, when we think about it, a very small percentage of people on this earth can afford.

We just had a woman here who lost her ring in the parking lot of the golf course. Luckily she found it, but after it had been run over and ground into the gravel. If it had been hard pavement that ring would have been a goner.

 

[NewYorker]

My sister in law wore hers gardening and cleaning and now it's loose in the prongs - you can move the diamond around with your fingers - pretty cool, but not good.
I wear mine doing dishes and in the shower, but not to the gym or house cleaning.
Sorry we can't take your side of the argument!

 

[elgar]

Tell her you pay good money for insurance for a reason.

 

[Hest88]

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On 8/25/2003 1:59:29 PM elgar wrote:

Tell her you pay good money for insurance for a reason.

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Hee, hee, true. Problem is, insurance can never replace the sentimental value of an e-ring.

 

[hoorray]

I'm the one who lost my ring recently (thank goodness I found it finally!). I knew better than to wear them that morning, but they are new, and I really hated to leave them at home. Big mistake! They are well insured, but at that moment, all that meant was that we weren't out the money. It did nothing to make me feel better. Instead, I thought about if I had to get a replacement ring, it would be just that -- a ring I got because I lost my other one. Nothing sentimental there!

I've also been lectured by our jeweler about proper care and wearing. He told me to never wear them in the kitchen. Too many hard surfaces, to say nothing about drains.

As much as I hate to leave them off sometimes, it makes it that much more fun to admire when I do have them on.

 

[Kamuelamom]

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On 8/25/2003 2

1:27 PM Hest88 wrote:

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On 8/25/2003 1:59:29 PM elgar wrote:

Tell her you pay good money for insurance for a reason.

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Hee, hee, true. Problem is, insurance can never replace the sentimental value of an e-ring.

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Hest, you make a great point here.

Sorry chat-hard, but I also do what she does. I can't stand soap scum (though it is inevetible from trips to the restroom), but do not do dishes, garden or anything like that with it on. Oil drives me the craziest. Every couple of days it gets a good scrubbie from my battery operated toothbrush, a tip I received a while back. You could call it the poor girls version of the ultrasonic cleaner.

We women like to protect our sparklies as much as we enjoy wearing them.

 

[diamondlil]

Sorry Chat, I'm going to agree with your fiancee also. I'm another one who always takes her rings off. When I'm in the house, my e-ring and wedding ring goes in a special dish in the kitchen. Then, before I go out, I walk by the dish and retreive them. I don't like going out without at least my wedding ring on

. Not only do I not want to damage the rings, but they are annoying when working around the house, the kids don't like to get scratched by my e-ring, and it keeps the rings from getting dirty so fast. I keep a small battery-operated ultrasonic cleaner on the counter and drop them in every few days for a quick cleaning. It works great!

Diamondlil

 

[fire&ice]

Just make sure when she takes the ring off, it goes in the *same* house all the time. Putting a ring on the ledge while doing dishes is not a good idea - too many rings down the drain & disposal.

That said, I *always* wore my e-ring in public. I wore it to the beach, etc. I did not wear it to do dishes, etc.

 

[ringbling17]

I have to agree with your fiancee too.

I used to wear my first diamond everywhere. I would wear it while doing dishes, gardening, housework, to sleep, etc. I banged it around alot!
Guess what? One day I noticed a lovely chip on the girdle. When I checked out my old stone with a jeweler's loupe, I found tiny scratches all along the girdle of that diamond.
With my new diamond ring, I am really careful now. I take it off once I get in the house, esp. when I know that I am going to be doing housework. I keep it in a container of Windex, with a lid over it, just in case it topples over.
I do wear it whenever I leave the house, but take it off when I know I may be rough with my hands. At work (I am a nurse), I take it off before I start to work and keep a little jewelery box in my bag to store it.
Like what everyone said, even if it is insured, there is a lot of sentimental value. It took me a long time to get this diamond and to pick the right one, so I definitely don't want to risk damaging it in anyway.
My sister in law just received a 5 carat diamond bracelet last week and I had to laugh because she was wearing it while cooking and doing the dishes, but she refuses to wear her e-ring for the same chores. Go figure!

 

[Kay]

Sorry, Chat_hard, but I agree with your fiancee too. I always wear my e-ring when I go out (unless I am going to the beach, gym, or engaging in a sporting activity), but I take my ring off and keep it in its box when I am at home, unless we are having company over. Not only do I worry about damage to the ring from housework or gardening, but I just don't like wearing jewelry at home any more than my work suits -- it's a matter of comfort. I can't imagine sleeping or showering in any of my jewelry, including my e-ring, although a lot of women apparently do.

 

[Mara]

Well it seems I am the ONLY one it seems who actually treats her ring like an extension of herself...and wears it ALL THE TIME except for while I am sleeping (and only because my fingers swell and then I wake up and can't move it).

I have waited all my life to get this ring from the man I love. No way am I going to take it off while I go around and actually dare to 'live life'. It's also insured. A diamond is very hard....as we all know. Platinum is very strong as well. I get my prongs and small stones checked every 6 months..it's just a trip to the jeweler, and he assures me all is okay. Add that to my insurance, and I am more than happy to wear this ring all the time.

I wear it while showering, I wear it while gardening, I wear it while swimming, doing dishes (however infrequently that may be)...and get ready girls..I wear it to the gym AND I wear it to kickboxing. I wear it while I hit the bag. I just turn the stone into my hand and that takes care of that.

All of that said..yes I'd be sad if I lost it or damaged it. But we pay for insurance for a reason...to be sure that things are taken care of if anything should happen to it. I don't want to be pulling it off at every opportunity I get..or when I actually have something to do. I am constantly on the go and don't spend much time at home or relaxing. So I'd never get to wear my ring. That just does not work for me. I would rather it spend time on my hand and with me admiring it....than rest silently in the box on my table. Not appealing.

Also my appraiser noted that most people chip their girdles of their rings over time..it happens to everyone regardless of how carefully you will treat that ring. So chances are in 20 years...your rings that have been resting in the boxes will still have some sort of wear and tear from the times you do wear them. I'd much rather have mine show some wear and know that I wore it the way it was meant to be worn. Metal can be reworked and replaced if necessary.

Our jeweler told us a story about a woman who had a ring similar to mine but in pave...wasn't as strong...metal was too thin. She was an airline pilot and apparently had some sort of scare and she had to pull back on the wheel (or whatever they call it in planes) to try to pull the nose of the plane back up and was putting all her weight into pulling back on this thing. Finally the plane righted itself, and she looked at her ring and it was completely bent flat against her finger and all her small pave stones had fallen out. They rebuilt the setting with more metal and did prong set like mine...and she hasn't had a problem since. Big deal? Not really. Actually the story was pretty funny. And in the end she got a stronger ring.

Keep in mind also that many of the antique rings and settings that are still around are from the early 1900s and beyond. Those rings managed to survive up until now...and they don't look any more worse for the wear. That to me is proof that these baubles we love can survive more than we can throw at them for the most part.

So my two cents...I love my ring, don't want to part with it and agree that it should be WORN and worn well. I don't wear alot of jewelry as the norm, but my ring goes where I go and does what I do.

Tell her to grow a pair and wear that ring!!! You'll pay for insurance.

 

[smaggard]

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On 8/26/2003 12:29:34 PM Mara wrote:


Tell her to grow a pair and wear that ring!!! You'll pay for insurance.

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LMAO....gotta luv a girl who uses that saying Mara!!!

LOL

 

[Hest88]

I was waiting for Mara to arrive and give her dissenting opinion.

Where have you been the last few days?

However I have to point out that this is misleading:

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Keep in mind also that many of the antique rings and settings that are still around are from the early 1900s and beyond. Those rings managed to survive up until now...and they don't look any more worse for the wear. That to me is proof that these baubles we love can survive more than we can throw at them for the most part.
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Don't forget that the women back then who could afford those rings were hardly going around kickboxing with their rings. Their really fine jewelry they saved for social events, and even if they were wearing their rings around the house they were holding ladies socials and sipping tea! The ones who were washing dishes and pulling vegetables from the garden were not the same ones who owned diamond rings. If a woman who owned diamond rings was reduced to washing dishes I suspect her rings would have been sold long before.

 

[fire&ice]

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On 8/26/2003 3:44

6 PM Hest88 wrote:

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Don't forget that the women back then who could afford those rings were hardly going around kickboxing with their rings. Their really fine jewelry they saved for social events, and even if they were wearing their rings around the house they were holding ladies socials and sipping tea! The ones who were washing dishes and pulling vegetables from the garden were not the same ones who owned diamond rings. If a woman who owned diamond rings was reduced to washing dishes I suspect her rings would have been sold long before.
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[/quote]


Nope, Hest - this is misleading. Hubby's family ring went through quite a bit of gardening & washing dishes. Hubby's grandmother was very self sufficient and was quite the gardener.

Besides, a strong middle class was emerging at the first quarter of the century. "New Money" as it would be referred to. Jewelry became much more main stream & worn as every day adornment. Actually, if you think about it, our modern conviences are probably less hard on rings. Dishwasher, vaccum, etc.

Sorry for my dissent. I have to agree though - no kickboxing.

 

[Mara]

We had my FMIL in town and staying with us...very busy weekend *and* we had our engagement party too!

Whew!

I agree that while most well-to-do women with diamonds probably weren't as hands-on as we are today in our houses and daily lives...it's not necessarily just the big rocks I am talking about...but also very small stones and elaborate settings. I frequently see under .50c stones in old rings that still look amazing today. Seems like more middle-class types may have owned smaller stones that they wore daily? It's not just 1900's I am talking about...there is 100+ years from then to now...things change as the generations go on...more wear and tear added.

While I am not a historian...it seems that while yes the more well-to-do women were not knocking their rings around in the kitchen...they still had daily lives where damage could happen to the ring and I don't know that I agree that well-to-do types didn't wear their wedding or engagement ring except for company? Maybe very fine jewelry such as necklaces or earrings yes. But a wedding & e-ring I thought has been in fashion to wear for many years past. It also seems that most older folks I have come across such as my grandparents wore their rings daily and took the blows. They weren't sporting anything remotely large...but they wore those pieces as they was meant to be worn. Well.

There probably is no right and wrong for this particular line of reasoning, but I still believe that if a ring can withstand about 100 years of wear and tear in ANYONE's hands (maybe along your notation....it was bought in 1900 and worn rarely by a woman of leisure until 1940...but then what happened until then? I bet it was passed down or sold and therefore has been worn by many women) and still look amazing now....then our more modern thicker platinum settings and stronger heads can withstand the daily blows we now give them. Yes you will have the odd chip or cleave in a stone...but I really feel like that is just a hazard of life. You can choose to wear the ring and deal with a potential something...or you can keep it in its box..but I for one wear mine well and I know my fiance is pleased that I love it so much I don't want to be parted with it. He would have a fit if I stopped wearing it or only wore it out for certain occasions etc.

 

[chat_hard]

Hello everyone,

Wanted to thank all of you for the messages... will print out this page and show it to me-lady tonite..... am afraid i will get the "i told you so!!" look

oh well

c'est la vie

-chat