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Renewing vows ....????!

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sklingem

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OK - can anyone give me a (good) reason for why people renew their vows?? Being European I guess that I am not that familiar with it - but even after giving it some thought I am at a loss. To be blunt: Is there any other reason than wanting to throw another party, get a new dress etc.??? Or to throw a bigger wedding assuming that finances are better at an older age on average?
Isn''t staying together, working through hard times, celebrating the good times, showing love and appreciation for one''s partner etc. a "daily" renewal of vows that is (should) be part of a "healthy" marriage? If that is the case, do I really need to make a second "public affair" out of it???! What does it say about your marriage when you have to/want to make a public statement that you want to "marry that person again"? Is it a "sign of the times" that we can not (or should not) take a lifelong commitment for granted anymore? Thus the need to reinforce it? What may that say about our "standards" for marriage? Anyway ... thanks for your input!!
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Rob
 

mimzy

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generally vow renewals are very small with just very close family and friends, not really a "public affair". i''ve never heard of a vow renewal that was anywhere close to the size of a wedding (unless they eloped and are doing an at home reception or something). in this day it is an accomplishment to stay together for 10 20 30 years, and some people want to celebrate that. others do it after they overcome certain obstacles as a couple to just reaffirm to themselves. shrug. don''t like it, don''t do it
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HollyS

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Date: 10/6/2008 6:28:03 PM
Author:rob09
OK - can anyone give me a (good) reason for why people renew their vows?? Being European I guess that I am not that familiar with it - but even after giving it some thought I am at a loss. To be blunt: Is there any other reason than wanting to throw another party, get a new dress etc.??? Or to throw a bigger wedding assuming that finances are better at an older age on average?
Isn''t staying together, working through hard times, celebrating the good times, showing love and appreciation for one''s partner etc. a ''daily'' renewal of vows that is (should) be part of a ''healthy'' marriage? If that is the case, do I really need to make a second ''public affair'' out of it???! What does it say about your marriage when you have to/want to make a public statement that you want to ''marry that person again''? Is it a ''sign of the times'' that we can not (or should not) take a lifelong commitment for granted anymore? Thus the need to reinforce it? What may that say about our ''standards'' for marriage? Anyway ... thanks for your input!!
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Rob
Well, of course it''s a good excuse to throw a party! I had so much fun at my wedding (and it was small) that I would love to do it all again! I think it is not just romantic, but meaningful, that Heidi Klum and Seal redo their vows every year on their anniversary. They eloped, and they go off every year by themselves (maybe with the kids, now) and do it again. I don''t believe that they ''have'' to renew to keep reminding themselves of their commitment; but rather that they have found a unique way of honoring their commitment. And they aren''t even throwing a bash.

Usually it''s done by people who hit a major milestone (one elderly couple I know renewed their vows in a church service before their 50th anniversary dinner/dance), or because they did not have a very large wedding the first time. Sometimes, as in the case of the Edwards (John and Elizabeth), because one partner has a serious or terminal illiness. and they know there won''t be many more anniversaries.

Maybe it''s an American phenomenon. Maybe we''re just more sentimental.
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fieryred33143

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My grandparents renewed their vows on their 50th wedding anniversary.

The party was in my grandmother''s house and her kids were the bridal party. Since my father passed away, I was in the bridal party which made it really special for me (I was about 14). Not a fancy party, she didn''t wear a wedding dress, but it was a great moment.
 

OUpearlgirl

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I''ve heard of people renewing the vows after a trial separation/time apart.
 

Haven

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You sound like the Grinch, Rob!
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I think people choose to publicly renew their vows because they have a love that is (in their eyes) worth celebrating, and they want to include their nearest and dearest in that celebration, and they want to make it special.

We make a big deal out of so many of our life cycle events because those are the moments that punctuate our otherwise normal, everyday lives, and those moments give us a time and a space to recognize what is special in our lives and celebrate it.

(And just for the sake of argument:) I suppose we could take your argument about vow renewals and apply it to marriages as well, right? Why must we put on the big show? Isn''t it enough for two people to love each other? Why must it be a public statement? Why isn''t it enough to just have a private ceremony without all the hoopla?

I suppose my short answer is: we celebrate things because we can. And because we are grateful to have things worth celebrating in the first place, and we relish the opportunities to celebrate the special things in our lives.
 

sklingem

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Thanks for your comments! Always good to get new insights. I''ll stop being a grinch too. I promise! LOL
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