regret yesterday''s dress purchase!

[Green with Envy]

I thought for sure I would NEVER buy a dress that didn''t WOW me... but now I have regrets! I feel so stupid... do I keep dress shopping?

this is the story... I HATE clothes shopping so I really needed a fashionable friend to help me. My best friend lives out of state so she is flying in to town this weekend to go dress shopping with me. All the stores say it takes 6 months to get the dress... and leave two months for fitting. So... married in June, I need to find a dress by October. no pressure, yet.


I went to stores alone to pre-screen dresses so i could show my friend my top favorites. Nothing was quite right... a liked a few elements of certain dresses, but i couldn''t make any firm decisions. i made the mistake of trying on one or two dresses that are WAY out of my budget and luckily they were not perfect. However, trying on dresses that are very well made, fitted, and high quality material really gave me a challenge to find a luxury looking dress without the luxury price tag.

Soooo... this weekend I go to a store to screen dresses and they have a few that i really like! i go into the dressing room and think one or two could be right! Then i find out that one is ONLY available for a trunk sale because it is not in full production yet.. if I don''t buy it that day it is will not be available until summer 2010. It is priced more than HALF of my original dress budget so i start to figure I should just get it because it is stupid to spend so much money on a dress, yada yada yada.

Ok... so i buy it on my own. The salesperson takes a few quick pictures for me... and then I am done.

i get home and LOOK at the pictures and I have huge regrets. First... we did not take a picture of the back, but it is corset style. You could buy it zipper or corset, but the designer said if I wanted it super tight at my waist (and I do)... i should buy corset style.

I know some people love this style... but when I got home and looked at pictures of this back style on other dresses... I HATED IT! And I thought about the super expensive designer gowns I tried on that were so well made. They were super fitted in the waist, but not corset! they just had boning and good design so they could fit tight with a zipper/buttons.

next... i think all the folds at the waist (the only small part of me) makes me look thick.

And... the other top contenders within my price range were made of silk. i love the richness of satin and several dresses were silk satin, but this one is polyester. Granted when i felt the material it was soft and I did not realize immediately that it was not silk satin... but now I am thinking I spent too much money on a dress with cheap material and back style I don''t love.

Finally... what i LOVED about the dress is the top part around shoulders that can be removed and is supposed to sit asymmetrical. It is not placed right in picture. i was NOT in love with dress without it. A few friends have told me that I would want to take it off at reception for dancing, etc. and then it just doesn''t feel like my dream dress AT ALL with the thing removed because i prefer more square tops and this one is more sweetheart.

And the thing is I have nothing more than a picture until it arrives next february! If I hate it at first fitting... that leaves me not enough time to get another dress made so i search frantically for a sample dress?

Should i keep looking for another dress NOW. and then sell the least favorite online? If I could sell this dress unworn for half of what I paid for it... that would not be such a huge financial loss for me because, like I said, it was WAY under my original budget.

AGH.

Ok... trying to add picture.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Hm, it''s a toughy.

Is it possible once it''s tailored to fit you perfectly that you''d like it?

 

[TripleG]

It sounds like a beautiful dress. So once you add pictures that will give us a better idea of what you are talking about. I say wait till your friend shows up and show her the pictures and maybe find another store with a similar style to see if you truly love it or hate it. If you then dont love that type of style it may be best to part with it, or discuss with the store if they have an exchange policy or an upgrade policy or anything to help you with it. Some stores will be kind like that or give you an idea of how you could change it to your liking. You can also talk to a seamstress and see if small changes could be made to make it be your ideal dress.

 

[LilyKat]

If you only bought it yesterday, is there any way you could cancel the order? It would probably be at the dress store's discretion, but it's worth talking to them honestly. Or could they perhaps give you the money as credit towards another dress purchase at the same store? Especially if you are anticipating spending more.

 

[Green with Envy]

grrr.. sorry. still trying to upload. There is NO return or exchange at store. VERY specific first line of contract.

I keep exporting pic to smallest jpeg and not working. hold on...

 

[Rock_of_Love]

Pics!!! Need pics!! Do you need help? Try saving it as a different name in a size less than 100KB...do you need help resizing?

 

[Green with Envy]

i tried on mac and pc... it is SUPER small and still not uploading. trying again...

 

[Rock_of_Love]

did you try renaming it? All uploaded files have to have unique names, so if it is named "dress" chances are there will be a pic with that name...so try something like "dress 36789"...

 

[Green with Envy]

yes, i compressed to smallest size for email and renamed. still getting error to upload. maybe trying to send to admin?

 

[emeraldlover1]

I''d love to see the pictures. Is there anyway that you can call the store and cancel your order? It''s not like they have made the dress yet. Corset backs are such a personal preference. I personally don''t like them (although I think they look ok on others). It is such an important decision I''d want to make sure it is the right dress.

 

[Green with Envy]

I tried to message admin and got an error massage even trying to do that! maybe I will try to post pic in a few hours. Sorry for no pic.

 

[calidaisy]

well, how much money would you be losing if you were to cancel it?
and how big of a damage will you be making in your overall wedding budget if you were to cancel it? (i.e. will you be losing $2K in a $20K budget? OR will it be $500 in a $40K budget?)

of course, i''m not encouraging you to cancel it right now. however, you should shop more and see if the neckline, waistline, etc. flatter you/ your figure and if it''s just the corset and fabric that bother you ... or if the whole dress is just not meant for you.

i got married last year and i think it''s inevitable you bleed money while planning your wedding--well, at least i did. AND there are things i wished i did differently, even if it would have been a waste of money at the time. your dress may be one of those things you look back wishing you did things differently. i don''t know. i''d love to see your pictures, though.

 

[allycat0303]

That''s a tough one. I''d have to wait for pictures before I make a judgement call, but honestly, I understand about corset backs, I''m not a big fan of them. Certinly not for my wedding dress. My birdesmaids had corset backs though, and I found that they really accentuated their figures.

Maybe you could start with getting it with a zipper back?

I read that some of Melissa Sweet''s dresses are not pure silk, and they are completely designer dresses, so that in itself shouldn''t get you down.

 

[Green with Envy]

If I sold it online for HALF the price i paid...I wold be losing only 2.0% of our total wedding budget. in my mind that is no big deal given the greater picture.

The store is closed today so I couldn''t speak to anyone about dress.


Still trying to post pic...

 

[Green with Envy]

i agree with you alleycat about not wanting corset on my dress... but the part about emphasizing my waist is what I DO want so that is interesting about what you said about bridesmaids. the designer herself said she prefers the look of buttons... but says I would not get the fit I am looking for without corset. Thus I figured the designer knew more than I did about alterations and stuff! Obviously!

My friend tried to make me feel better that it will be easier to sell corset back on internet because people know possibly less alterations involved?

i am getting error messages even when trying to report concern to admin. Picture to come eventually!

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

Since you have a bit of time before you NEED to buy a dress (and the 6-month thing is bunk- most will come in within 4 months), I would take some time to think about this... There IS a reason you bought that dress, and it has more to do with budget, I imagine.

I purchased a gown that I sort of loved, though doubted a bit. Then the *actual* dress came in and it fit nothing like the sample. I battled it out with the boutique for weeks and eventually decided to start looking at new dresses... I felt that the poor fit + bad karma surrounding the gown was too much. Went to a sample sale, found a dress, really liked it but had to act fast-- it was the last day of the sample sale. Bought the dress for more than 1000k off, but it was still over $700. Took it in for alterations. Started to post my original dress on e-bay, preowned wedding dresses & Craigslist hoping for a sale. Then round #2 of doubt set in and I started to worry if I had picked the right dress out of the two.

Unless you''re REALLY dissatisfied with your current dress, I''d say to tread lightly. I was SORELY disappointed with my first gown and my purchase experience but even that didn''t stop me from thinking, after buying dress #2, "Did I just screw up and spend ANOTHER $750 on a dress I''m not in love with?!"

Which dress I''ll actually wear on the big day remains a mystery

 

[cocolaw]

have you tried using www.picresize.com ? this is what i use and it usually works for me. i hate that you are feeling this way! i really would like to see pics.

 

[swimmer]

we ALL had regrets at some point. Sleep on it, and there must be a way to visit the dress at some point?

Hoping and waiting for the photos.

 

[Green with Envy]

Finally a picture!!! This is a side profile and I am using my hand to try to cover all the extra material since dress is too big.

 

[Green with Envy]

front view. I want it tight around my natural waist... can't I do this with a zipper instead of corset???

 

[Green with Envy]

this is the side I am NOT crazy about. I think it looks like a lot of thick material... and this is the side people we see during the ceremony.

And i have NO PICTURES of the back of the dress... and that is driving me crazy because i don''t know what it looks like with the corset.

Maybe I should call the store and see if they can still change order to a zipper??? I KNOW I love the look of zipper with buttons... and if this is the dress i wear and we can''t get waist to fit snuggly... then it is just not my dress.

can''t a good seamstress make the waist really tight with alterations???

Ii certainly tried on dresses that were tight at my waist without having a corset.

It just seems like satin covered buttons would be more appropriate for this particular style.... not a corset. RIGHT??? or No???

 

[Green with Envy]

sorry... making this last pic smaller.

 

[Diva0413]

First, that dress is GORGEOUS and I think even with the extra material, it looks fantastic on you. I''m no seamtress, but maybe you should call the store and ask to switch it to a zipper. I have a zipper covered by buttons on my dress and the seamstress I''m using altered it very well. It fits very snuggly around the waist without a corset.

Hope that helps.

 

[meresal]

Green- I LOVE that dress!!!! It's simplicity is just gorgeous!!!!!

You cannot tell it is polyester at all, and I don't know what "extra material" you are seeing.

You never showed a pic of the back, but to keep it simple and clean, I would go with a zipper in the back. Just asking, but is it a hidden corset?

 

[charbie]

that dress is stunning on you. you are NOT thick, have no part of your body that appears thick in that dress.

i know no one should talk you into a dress, but dearheart, i think you found a gorgeous dress.

i''m not too sure what your friends are talking about wanting to remove the top part of the dress. that is what makes it interesting, it is what makes it yours, and it is why you loved it in the first place. if it is comfortable like that, keep it and rock it.

again, i would never say keep a dress that you''re not a fan of, but as i''ve said before, not everyone will have the "OMG THE HEAVENS PARTED, ANGELS SANG, I''VE GOT MY DRESS!!!" moment.

 

[House Cat]

Your dress is incredible! You do NOT look thick at any angle!!

Yes, a seamstress can make a waist with a zipper and buttons. It won''t be as pronounce as a waist created with a corset, but honestly, you don''t need a corset from what I can see. Most likely, you can call and change the order. They haven''t cut the dress yet.

One thing to remember about polyester vs. silk, polyester doesn''t wrinkle as badly as silk, so this is a plus. Besides, the dress looks very rich. You can''t tell that it is poly at all!

 

[tyty333]

Ok, I'm loving it...(whats wrong with me???)

Seriously, that dress is fantastic! Its sophiscated, classy, and looks just plain hot! I love the top with
the fabric that goes around your shoulders (do not take them off). I think when you get it in your
size and altered to fit it will look stunning on you. We really didnt get to see the back but besides that
I'm not sure what all you hesitation is about. I know on "Say Yes To the Dress" that a lot of girls have
second thoughts after they order their dresses. They are usually happy with the dress once they put
it on and remember the way it make them feel.

I would say ... no more dress shopping! Find a beautiful veil/shoes to go with it and you are good to go.

 

[tigian]

Your dress is gorgeous and I think it looks terrific on you! Lots of women have second thoughts about their dresses, but I think this is the one. Once it fits properly, you will not see the extra fabric and your waist will be more defined. It really is gorgeous on you.

 

[marlie]

i LOVE your dress and I think you look absolutely fantastic. you do not look thick anywhere. this dress flatters your figure perfectly. I don''t love corset back dresses so I understand your concern there and i think they could swap it out for a zipper. i don''t see why not. and, as far as your concern with the material, i don''t think you have anything to worry about there. it looks totally rich and soft. if you never mentioned anything i never would''ve thought your dress was polyester. totally true about the non-wrinkle thing too....a major plus!

my vote would be to keep this dress b/c i think it''s absolutely gorgeous...but, that being said, if you are going to second guess it all year and worry and stress, then there is another dress out there for you. go with your gut feeling.

 

[Rock_of_Love]

Yeah, I agree with the others. That dress is gorgeous and gorgeous on you! Also, I do agree that the style would look better with a zipper vs corset back, but maybe it is like Meresal said...a hidden corset?

I know that you were probably pressured due to the timing of everything, but it really is a beautiful dress and it looks great on you! I vote keep it!