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Red to a wedding

EyeElle

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 24, 2008
Messages
251
Hi ladies,

I was wondering what your views were to wearing red to a wedding?
More specifically, my mom just informed me she bought a red dress for the wedding. Now to be honest I really don't like the idea, especially for a mother of the bride dress. I feel it will draw a lot of attention, especailly since the rest of the wedding is more neutral colors.
She did say it was a dark red though.

Since she already bought it, and liked it, I didnt' have the heart to say anything about it and just said great.
But to be honest i am not thrilled about it.

So just to ease my mind .. or maybe give me courage to say something .... how would you view it if the mother of the bride is wearing a long, dark red dress?? Would you not give it a single thought, or would it look inapprpriate??

Thanks ladies!
 

slg47

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 4, 2010
Messages
9,667
is it a dark red, or a bright red? also, what time of year is the wedding? I think a dark red/burgundy dress in winter could be appropriate.
 

zipzapgirl

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
Messages
369
I don't see a problem at all, especially if it is a deeper or darker red.

Try on the dress with you mom so you feel more comfortable - it's probably not the fiery number you think it is. And even if you hate it, it's no reflection on you and will be in a limited amount of photos. You should probably just let this one go.
 

merilenda

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 20, 2010
Messages
816
I wouldn't give it another thought. I wouldn't worry about it honestly.
 

Amys Bling

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 25, 2010
Messages
11,025
merilenda|1307459180|2939812 said:
I wouldn't give it another thought. I wouldn't worry about it honestly.

Ditto. Guests won't think anything of it, it's a big important day for your mom too and she clearly loved this dress. I wouldn't stress and justice past it. Not worth hurt feelings and stress.
 

iota15

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 19, 2010
Messages
1,278
Don't worry about it. Nobody focuses on the mother of the bride. You also can't dictate what your friends and family wear. I'm not sure why red in particular bothers you. You know - other guests like a cousin or even the groom's mother could show up in hot pink or a screaming yellow. Regardless, the focus is on the bride, always. Don't worry.
 

Haven

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 15, 2007
Messages
13,166
merilenda|1307459180|2939812 said:
I wouldn't give it another thought. I wouldn't worry about it honestly.
I agree!

I know this topic comes up a lot on this forum, but seriously, it's really difficult to outshine the bride. My sister was just married on Sunday and on of her guests wore a mostly white dress, another wore a very pale yellow that *looked* white in the dark lighting at the reception. They in no way took away any focus from my sister. She was in a beautiful white *gown*, and they were just wearing white dresses. No biggie whatsoever.

I think it's great that your mom is so excited about her dress for the wedding.
 

Juniper789.

Rough_Rock
Joined
Mar 3, 2011
Messages
11
hmmm I totally get the expection of thinking the mother of the bride would be wearing pastels/champagne colours but at the same time I honestly think a dark red dress could be understatedly stunning and perfectly fitting in a wedding, even if the colours are mostly neutral. Plus she'll be blending into a sea of guests in other colours. I think as long as it's not fire truck red and there isn't a slit up to the thigh on it that you're pretty safe. Of course no one here knows your mum like you do so we don't know her style or personality, but I say, if it looks conservative enough for what you what for your wedding, let mum wear what makes her feel comfortable :))
 

Sizzle

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 4, 2007
Messages
1,304
EyeElle|1307449426|2939713 said:
Hi ladies,

I was wondering what your views were to wearing red to a wedding?
More specifically, my mom just informed me she bought a red dress for the wedding. Now to be honest I really don't like the idea, especially for a mother of the bride dress. I feel it will draw a lot of attention, especailly since the rest of the wedding is more neutral colors.
She did say it was a dark red though.

Since she already bought it, and liked it, I didnt' have the heart to say anything about it and just said great.
But to be honest i am not thrilled about it.

So just to ease my mind .. or maybe give me courage to say something .... how would you view it if the mother of the bride is wearing a long, dark red dress?? Would you not give it a single thought, or would it look inapprpriate??

Thanks ladies!
Seriously I didn't care if my mom wore neon orange to my wedding, I was just so happy she was alive and well to be present and participate. I don't think you EVER have the right to tell a grown woman ,especially your mother what to wear, period. She has been in the world long enough to have basic respect and lets face it, a bride is going to be the center of attention on that day no matter what anyone else has on! Enjoy your day, focus on the love and the fun and the memories and the people, not on what they're wearing.
 

sba771

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 1, 2008
Messages
887
This is the only request I had at my wedding. My BMs wore whatever they wanted and I just asked that my mil wear anything but red. She bought and wore a deep red gown. To be honest- in every photo she is in- your eye is drawn to her. Maybe I am small but I was upset. I ignored it on the day of, but it made picking my album tough since I had to find photos where I didn't just see red- and I mean that both ways.
 

Anastasia

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 23, 2005
Messages
451
My niece got married last year, and the groom's mother wore bright red. She looked great, and you could tell that she felt great in the dress.

It never occured to me that there was anything wrong with wearing red. I would let it go.
 

NovemberBride

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 26, 2006
Messages
962
Sizzle|1307465926|2939911 said:
EyeElle|1307449426|2939713 said:
Hi ladies,

I was wondering what your views were to wearing red to a wedding?
More specifically, my mom just informed me she bought a red dress for the wedding. Now to be honest I really don't like the idea, especially for a mother of the bride dress. I feel it will draw a lot of attention, especailly since the rest of the wedding is more neutral colors.
She did say it was a dark red though.

Since she already bought it, and liked it, I didnt' have the heart to say anything about it and just said great.
But to be honest i am not thrilled about it.

So just to ease my mind .. or maybe give me courage to say something .... how would you view it if the mother of the bride is wearing a long, dark red dress?? Would you not give it a single thought, or would it look inapprpriate??

Thanks ladies!
Seriously I didn't care if my mom wore neon orange to my wedding, I was just so happy she was alive and well to be present and participate. I don't think you EVER have the right to tell a grown woman ,especially your mother what to wear, period. She has been in the world long enough to have basic respect and lets face it, a bride is going to be the center of attention on that day no matter what anyone else has on! Enjoy your day, focus on the love and the fun and the memories and the people, not on what they're wearing.
Ditto to sizzle, especially the bolded. When did it become tradition that brides get to dictate what all the wedding guests wear? I had no expectations/instructions over what anyone wore to my wedding other than that I hoped they felt beautiful and comfortable (and I had a very formal wedding in a cathedral).
 

vc10um

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 22, 2009
Messages
6,006
Unless your ring bearer is a bull that's going to charge at the red dress, I'd let it slide.
 

CharmyPoo

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 10, 2004
Messages
7,007
I am in the same situation - my fiance's mom bought a red dress ... I was not happy but I am not going to do anything about it. I told my mom and she was shocked that my fiance's mom will wear a red dress - she said it is a no no especially for Chinese. I was kind of pissed because she told me it was orange but when I saw it ... it was red.
 

KittyGolightly

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 11, 2010
Messages
511
CharmyPoo|1307528695|2940584 said:
I am in the same situation - my fiance's mom bought a red dress ... I was not happy but I am not going to do anything about it. I told my mom and she was shocked that my fiance's mom will wear a red dress - she said it is a no no especially for Chinese. I was kind of pissed because she told me it was orange but when I saw it ... it was red.
FI is Chinese, and to be honest, I'm a little confused about the red thing. At first, I was told that only the bride wears red at the banquet. But now it sounds like a lot of the guests will be wearing red, albeit a dark red or maroon, because it is lucky. So, I'll be interested to see how many people are in red next week!

EyeElle, to be honest, I don't think dark red would concern me. An overly sexy fire-engine red dress might irk me though. To echo other posters though, all eyes will be on you. There's no way your mom will upstage you. I don't think I can even remember what any MOBs wore to any of the recent weddings I've been to.
 

4ever

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 9, 2008
Messages
2,260
I had never heard of this no red to a wedding rule until I started reading BWW.....just after I wore a red dress to my cousins wedding. Woops. :oops:

Anyway, I think this such a stupid thing to let yourself stress about. It's fine, you just can't (politely) control what other people wear- you have the bridal party and possibly your FH to play dress ups with, leave everyone else alone! My future MIL is looking at a red dress which she really likes. It is lovely. She is waiting to see if it goes on sale as it is very expensive but I'm all for it because I want her to feel beautiful as well, it's an important day for her to, it's her only sons wedding!
 

lliang_chi

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 13, 2008
Messages
3,740
Everyone will be looking at you. And if it's dark red, I would think it's appropriate.
 

blacksand

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 31, 2010
Messages
889
My uncle's new girlfriend showed up to my cousin's (his daughter's) wedding in a hot pink, puffy, miniskirted number. She's not a young lady at all, and she was there representing the father of the bride. It was, as my FI would say, hilaribad. I'll see if I can find a picture later (identities will be concealed to protect the innocent). It will make you feel so much better about everything, I promise. Every time I start to stress about my wedding plans, I think of that dress, and I feel better again.

ETA photo, even though now I feel kind of like a horrible person.

hilaribad.jpg

Also, my cousin's sister wore a beautiful dark red dress to the same wedding, and it was completely appropriate and looked just gorgeous. I don't think anything could take the focus off of a beautiful bride, not even the neon pink dress above. We just had a good laugh about it in private, then went back to admiring the happy couple. You'll be just fine.
 

Allison D.

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 1, 2008
Messages
2,282
sba771|1307468458|2939942 said:
This is the only request I had at my wedding. My BMs wore whatever they wanted and I just asked that my mil wear anything but red. She bought and wore a deep red gown. To be honest- in every photo she is in- your eye is drawn to her. Maybe I am small but I was upset. I ignored it on the day of, but it made picking my album tough since I had to find photos where I didn't just see red- and I mean that both ways.
This is precisely the type of thing that Photoshop was created for....LOL.

Red gown? POOF - it's now a pale pink. :devil: :devil:
 

Winks_Elf

Brilliant_Rock
Trade
Joined
Nov 28, 2008
Messages
1,674
My Aunt wore a gorgeous lipstick red and silver beaded tea length gown to my cousin's wedding (she was MOG). She looked absolutely stunning, and their mother-son dance was to Lady In Red. It was perfect!

I've heard that the MOB or G shouldn't wear black, but those "rules" are so passe these days. Red is a joyous color.
 

junebug17

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 17, 2009
Messages
12,386
I wouldn't worry about it. Let her wear the dress she likes. I know it seems like a big deal to you right now, but honestly years from now you're going to look back and be glad you didn't make a fuss over something like this and you'll feel good that your mom wore a dress she felt attractive in.

Seriously, all eyes will be on you. At every single wedding I've been to, the bride has taken center stage and had such a special presence that everyone else just faded into the background.
 

mrswahs

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 18, 2011
Messages
499
I agree with the others, just let her wear it as long as she's happy.

My mom has had a really hard time finding a dress for my wedding, she's smaller than a size 0 and it has been a very trying process to find something that flatters her little body. I'll be happy when she finds something that she's comfortable with, regardless of what it looks like.
 
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