Reaching out to people you knew in the past on FB

[Gypsy]

Do you do this?

Reconnect with people from High School or College or wherever that you haven't spoken to in well... forever?

 

[mayerling]

I have added them, but I admit that it was mostly to spy on them given how I have never bothered to write on their wall, message them, etc.

 

[packrat]

Some of them, yes. Most of those I graduated w/are in my list, and a few from other grades above and below me. We had a super small school-my graduating class I think was 32. Only a couple still live around here, and I've managed to find friends that moved away and we lost contact, so it's nice to reconnect a little.

 

[Skippy123]

I have. Sometimes it goes well and other times they don't want to be found (only happened to 2 people). Just as an example; the thing we had in common they don't have in common anymore, like church friends, etc.

eta: oh and this was before FB. lol Like you bump into them at the store!

 

[kenny]

Nope.

 

[missy]

This has happened to me numerous times now since I joined FB. I joined a few years ago because my gf wanted to share her pics of her son's bar mitzvah with me on FB (she is as computer illiterate as I am LOL so she didn't know how to share via email). Since I have joined I have been contacted by 4 HS friends, a college roommate and a few graduate school friends and we now have been keeping in touch via email as they live all over the country. I enjoy that aspect as it is nice rekindling old friendships and sharing stories/pics etc. That's about the extent of it for my FB activity. I don't friend people I don't know and like and I don't actively go looking for old friends myself. Not that I am lazy but I don't want to be intrusive but I definitely welcome contact from my old friends. It's very nice.

 

[KaeKae]

I have, and have had a mixed bag of results. A couple girls I've known since kindergarten, I now get together with every summer when I go visit my home state. Others, we occasionally comment on each other's updates or photos. A combination of 'cute kids' and 'I remember that!' commentary. Still others, we became 'friends,' but left it at that. Just last week, I put one person on Ignore. She likes to post updates that she must think are either deep or funny, but I take as actually a way to make a dig at those who do not think about life the same way as she does. What was cute or fun about her back in 6th grade, no longer amuses me, so I just won't bother to pay attention to that anymore, though I certainly wish her well.

Overall, I'm glad I've done the FB thing. It's nice to know that people that once were important parts of my life are alive and well. (There is one childhood friend, I'd wondered about for years, thanks to a weird vibe her parents gave me at my father's funeral. They wouldn't tell me anything about her at all, while they were full of info about her siblings. I thought she was in jail, or...something. I just got a weird feeling from them. Maybe there was a problem then, but she's okay now, thank goodness!)

 

[Haven]

I never reached out to people I knew in the past, but when I first joined I accepted friend requests from several people from my past.

THEN, I attended my ten year HS reunion and a guy I knew back in HS and had befriended on FB creeped me out by saying things like "Oh, your dog Bailee is so cute. I love the pictures of you playing with her at the lake, was that in XYZ town?" At the time I didn't put many pictures on FB, but his comments really made me realize that I don't want people I'm not truly friends with to see ANY of my pictures. SO, I went home and deleted everyone but my family and good friends from my friends list so I could start from scratch.

Now, my FB friends are all people I know *now*, and I like it that way.

I will say that I never really appreciated FB until this summer. I spent a month studying out-of-state with other educators from all over the country, and FB has made it so easy to keep in touch with my friends from that experience. We have been able to stay current with each other, and I really like that.

When people I don't really know anymore send me a friend request I just ignore it. The creepy guy from my reunion ended up sending a message to me through FB after I deleted everyone, he basically thought something happened accidentally to cut off our ties. I told him I just wasn't comfortable being FB "friends" with people I no longer know.

There were over 4,000 students in my high school, so there's a lot of potential for people-I-never-really-knew-back-then-and-don't-care-to-know-now to reach out, and, well, that sort of connection just creeps me out.

ETA: OH! And, I am friends with one fellow PSer on FB, and I'm really happy for that. The power of the Internet is pretty cool when you use it wisely.

 

[Miss Sparkly]

I used to and would post many photos on Facebook. But I hated how somehow it managed to bite me in the butt with somebody and their rude/mean comments. So, I took down all of my photos/profile info and decided that Facebook would be only for communicating about events in the area or private messages. If somebody wants to know more about me then we will go out for coffee and chat!

 

[Haven]

I used to and would post many photos on Facebook. But I hated how somehow it managed to bite me in the butt with somebody and their rude/mean comments. So, I took down all of my photos/profile info and decided that Facebook would be only for communicating about events in the area or private messages. If somebody wants to know more about me then we will go out for coffee and chat!

People post rude comments about your photos on FB? That's terrible.
I've never seen or experienced that on FB.

 

[diamondringlover]

I have and we are planning a get together after the holidays

 

[iheartscience]

Nope. I never friend people from the past. Sometimes they find me through my sister or friends and send me a friend request, and I just ignore them.

 

[Miss Sparkly]

I used to and would post many photos on Facebook. But I hated how somehow it managed to bite me in the butt with somebody and their rude/mean comments. So, I took down all of my photos/profile info and decided that Facebook would be only for communicating about events in the area or private messages. If somebody wants to know more about me then we will go out for coffee and chat!

People post rude comments about your photos on FB? That's terrible.
I've never seen or experienced that on FB.

It's usually my inlaws They are very over concerned with money and appearances and hate, or embarrassed, about the fact the DH and I are not. I've learned to just with them. The entire economy has turned people bitter too My area has been hit hard with foreclosures and job loss which can bring out the bitter in people (I've been there too)

 

[Haven]

I used to and would post many photos on Facebook. But I hated how somehow it managed to bite me in the butt with somebody and their rude/mean comments. So, I took down all of my photos/profile info and decided that Facebook would be only for communicating about events in the area or private messages. If somebody wants to know more about me then we will go out for coffee and chat!

People post rude comments about your photos on FB? That's terrible.
I've never seen or experienced that on FB.

It's usually my inlaws They are very over concerned with money and appearances and hate, or embarrassed, about the fact the DH and I are not. I've learned to just with them. The entire economy has turned people bitter too My area has been hit hard with foreclosures and job loss which can bring out the bitter in people (I've been there too)

I'm sorry to hear that, SparklyB. I never would have guessed your in-laws would be the culprits!
It sounds like you're doing the best thing you can in this situation. Sorry you have to deal with that.

 

[sillyberry]

I have any number of friends on FB that aren't in my everyday circle. Some of them I don't find a whole lot of value in but don't annoy me, some people annoy me but I keep around because they post cute pictures of their kids or funny status updates, others because I really do care what they're up to. While I'm not big on sending friend requests myself (and when I do I generally send a note saying hello), I pretty much only don't accept a friend request if I have no idea who you are or I actively disliked you.

My childhood best friend and I reconnected and I know without FB we never would have. It's been wonderful meeting her daughter and becoming part of her life again! Another girl I was friendly with became a good friend because she posted hilarious stuff on FB and we commented to each other a lot and it led to a real friendship. There have been some people I knew in high school but wasn't close with and it's been really neat to see that they became adults I like and respect. It's also been a great way to become closer to the wives of my DH's friends since we post comments to each other and I feel like I know them better because of FB. I also love watching people get married and have kids and then see the kids grow up.

To me, the real value of FB is reconnecting to the people who AREN'T in my everyday life. It's been surprisingly cool how those connections have blossomed.

 

[zoebartlett]

I usually don't but I may have once or twice. I'm hardly ever on FB but I like checking in occasionally and seeing what people have been up to.

 

[Gypsy]

I did it for the first time today. We'll see what happens.

Great stories everyone!

 

[Regular Guy]

A summer ago, I used a combination of Facebook and what was then Classmates to pull together a mini-high school reunion, when I knew I was returning to Chicago and could be available for a meet up.

It worked great to do that, strategically.

Sadly, Classmates has since completely imploded (I used it just in time, it seems) after having been a very useful resource for that purpose for maybe a decade. Now, its merged or been bought by memories or something, costs a lot to be a member of, and I consider it dead as a resource.

So, Facebook is remaining. And, pretty useful. I'm not on very much otherwise.


Ira Z.

 

[ame]

I try to not find anyone I really don't want to communicate with on there. I did a huge deletion spree this summer, and accidently deleted like 30 people in addition to the list I was actually trying to delete and had to splain myself to a bunch of people.

 

[luv2sparkle]

I have a bunch of people that I knew from high school and early 20's. I don't spend much time on facebook. I have come to the conclusion that if I didn't want to keep in touch with them 20 years ago they really didn't mean that much to me.

I am friends with my kids and like to read their funny posts sometimes but that is about it.

 

[Laila619]

Yes, it's fun. I like seeing their pics of their spouse/wedding/kids or what have you.

 

[Jennifer W]

Yes, just a small group of people I regretted losing touch with from school. I don't post personal info or photos on FB (other than in one private group I'm a member of) but it's nice to exchange messages with people from my old crowd.

We ended up all over the world after school, with a few of us joining the military, and we all lost touch. Funny, but we're all starting to drift back to our hometown or near by as we get older, and it's been fun to catch up again. I recently met up with the guy I sat next to in Physics and Chemistry classes for so many year, with our kids. That was surreal! Lovely to see him and meet his wife and kids, but doesn't half make me wonder where all these years went to. Many of the people I've reconnected with I was never completely out of touch with, but it was holiday cards and fingers crossed I still had the right address sort of 'in touch' - fb has sort of given us a focus for checking in and keeping in touch better, which is a great thing.

I think the deciding factor as to who I would connect with would be the reason why we lost touch in the first place. Drifting apart with regret is one thing, but if it had been a falling out, or a tactful withdrawal, then I would be unlikely to want to get together again.

 

[Pandora II]

I lived in so many different countries and went to boarding school and colleges/universities not close to where my parents live that FB has been great for keeping in touch.

Often you find that people who you thought you had a lot in common with you actually don't once you're not living in the same place/working at the same job/know the same people and conversation can suddenly be stilted. With FB we can still be friends, feel we've not lost touch but not have to make a big effort to get together to catch up - knowing that one or both has moved on from the time we were friends (did that make any sense at all???).

I'm completely open on FB - my photos, comments etc are up there for friends and FOFs to see. Obviously I don't post the kinky underwear shots

 

[rosetta]

Nope.

I see no point in dredging up the past, so only have HS friends who are still actual friends.

I am not interested at all in voyeuristic glimpse of other people's lives.

 

[MyDiamondSparkles]

I have had high school classmates contact me on FB, but I don't go to FB and look for them. Sometimes it's nice to have a shout out from the past, fond memories and fun from days gone by.

Hugs,
MDS

 

[QueenB29]

I have added them, but I admit that it was mostly to spy on them given how I have never bothered to write on their wall, message them, etc.

Yes! Ditto! And one girl apologized to me for how awful she was to me in middle school, so that was nice.

I will say that I have a ton of professional contacts on Facebook who I haven't met *in person* or haven't seen in years. I do have them on a list that blocks everything but the most basic info, however, and I had to make a professional, public page where I now direct everyone who I don't know who sends me a friend request.

 

[Skippy123]

To answer the facebook question since I missed the FB part, yes they have and I have, especially if we were good friends. The people that found me were my work friends and neighbors, that kind of surprised me but I am happy to have more friends (the more the merrier if we were friends). Of all the friends, neighbors and family; I recently had problems with a family member. If I knew they would start asking me super personal questions like why did you give birth so early and the 411 on family gossip I would have never friended them. The weird part is I don't even talk to this person in real life too often but he asks the rudest questions n FB. Most people ignore him but he started PMing me so I never respond. I think sometimes when people get on the internet they feel they can ask more personal questions than they would in person. Oh and people I don't remember I let sit in pending because I feel weird saying who are you.

eta: the old friends I am friends w/on FB have been so excited for us about our babies. I have been moved by the msg's saying that they love updated pics of them, etc. I really have enjoyed seeing friends pics of their kids, pets or catching up with them in pm's. In fact a few friends visited me and I visited them when traveling so it has been wonderful catching up after losing touch w/good friends.

 

[dragonfly411]

I have several friends from highschool on there yes. Some I keep in touch with regularly and some not, but I like knowing that I can offer congratulations for big milestones in their lives. I tend to hold memories of people very close to myself, and I like knowing that I can say hi, or perhaps reunite should they ever visit. There are also people whom I see very little of, but who I share strong common interests with that I am friends with. We normally see each other at horse shows or events and that's it, but we can share accomplishments as well.

 

[jaysonsmom]

My dad worked for the government, and we moved every 3 years, so I think Facebook is the best invention ever! I got to connect with old friends from all over the world! Some of these propole go as far back as preschool. I had lots of good friendships, and positive people around me for the most part, so I believe we all liked sharing our present lives with each other. My only negative connection was a crazy guy 2 years behind me in school (from my brother's year) who seems to have some type of mental disorder because he goes on crazy rants about the Japanese government on FB, and was asking anyone who has US citizenship to help him get out of being in Japan. I deleted him as a friend after several crazy tirades.

My husband came from a rough neighborhood, and he was one of the few "successes". He's VERY chosey about the people he befriends because he's afraid of trouble.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I have. I think people are curious to know what you are up to. My family moved around several times so it was cool to reconnect with childhood friends.