Rate your childhood

[kenny]

Don't think too long, vote with your gut.
Nobody here, nor your parents, will know your vote.

1 is the worst possible, examples include things like abuse, violence, torture, starvation, abandonment, rejection, witnessing a parent's suicide, homelessness, or living in a horrible environment etc.

10 is ideal and perfect in every way living in the perfect environment and family.

5 is in the middle, or average if you will.

 

[rubyshoes]

The stuff I had written made me sad so I deleted it. Sorry.

Just going to say: Childhood was 10. Adolescence was a 3.

 

[amc80]

My childhood was great- I'd say an 8. My dad's company did very well which allowed us lots of fun. We traveled to Europe and Hawaii, I went to horse camp every summer, took violin lessons, was fairly spoiled in that there wasn't much I wanted that I didn't get. I was very well behaved and did really well in school.

Then, they divorced when I was 11 or so and it sort of went to the 3-4 range.

 

[kenny]

Mine was 7 or 8 till age 9, then it turned into a 1 or 2 so I voted 2.

 

[SB621]

My entire life till I moved out when I was 16/17 was a 3-5. My parents are very nice people but were never meant to have children. My mother was overworked and underpaid- my father was just lazy. It wasn't until I met my husband and his family that I truly understood how a family worked. So yes I was taken care of for the most part. I never starved I wasn't abused, but my parents pretty much had nothing to do with me.

 

[GK2]

Mine was pretty rough - I knew at the time it wasn't great, but with hindsight it was really not good. My mum made it clear I was not wanted and a mistake. I was always amazed that friends were allowed to play with toys and make a noise at home.

We've talked about it and I know she regrets what she did. She had a lousy upbringing and I was determined to not repeat it with the next generation. My son is 16 and confident, comfortable in his own skin and most importantly not afraid of being at home - I think I've stopped history repeating itself.

I don't blame her anymore - it's pointless and indulgent - but I do sometimes wonder what I would have been like if I'd had parents who wanted me and were loving and supportive

 

[kenny]

The stuff I had written made me sad so I deleted it. Sorry.

Just going to say: Childhood was 10. Adolescence was a 3.

Yes, facing the truth about our childhood is rough for some of us. Sorry.
Took me years in therapy to uncover mine.

But for me sunlight and time have been great disinfectants.

I'm so happy to hear of a 10 and near 10s here.

I also learned late in life what a good family was.
It was eye-opening and bittersweet.
I truly feel some people should not have children but I also know there's no way to regulate parenting.

Funny, you have to pass a test to drive, but anyone can ...

 

[Missy]

I rated my childhood a 9. It wasn't perfect but it was darn near perfect and I appreciate all my parents gave my sister and me. A loving and supportive home with parents who loved us unconditionally. I'm not sure I appreciated it at the time as much I do now but I knew even then I was lucky.

(((Hugs))) to Kenny, ruby, Sarah and GK2 and everyone else who needs one. Glad you are all in better spaces/places now.

 

[kenny]

Thanks, missy.

I must add, in their defense, that both my parents were orphans.
They grew up together in the same religious orphanage.
My dad's dad dropped him off at what they called, "The Children's Home" but kept dad's siblings, and went on to have more kids. OUCH!

Mom and Dad did the best they could but did not have parenting tools and skills because they themselves did not have parents.

 

[rosetta]

A big fat TEN.

Honestly, I worry about having kids coz I don't think I can live up to my parents. Unconditional love, they sacrificed everything for us. They taught me everything from riding a bike, learning to swim, pitching a tent, cooking etc. They encouraged all our hobbies, they enabled us to study whatever we wanted to in university. They are the reason I'm a doctor, my brother is a lawyer and my sister is an English professor with a PhD. Most importantly, they are the reason for my self-confidence and the seed of my self-esteem. I have no doubt that it is because of their love and support that I have never been trapped in a bad relationship and why I continue to achieve my life goals. I cannot overstate how wonderful my childhood was. I hope my marriage lasts as long as theirs has: 38 years and through thick and thin, including my mother's fight through cancer.

They were, and continue to be, absolutely awesome

 

[isaku5]

My childhood was a very good one with the exception of a couple of things: My mom was not abusive, but she was very critical. She told me later on that she didn't want me to have a "swelled head" (her words). My dad thought that I was the perfect child, but worked long and hard and belonged to many organizations in which he worked his way to the top. I hardly ever saw him, but when I did he instilled in me the belief that everything was possible.

My teens were good, not great. I liked school and did well, but had to accept the fact that I was a nerd and associated with people like myself. I met my future husband at 16 (He was 20). He treated me like royalty. He didn't kiss me for three months and then, he missed the target. Apparently, my mouth was the target, but we got each other's cheek Now, in a couple of weeks we will celebrate our 50th anniversary.

 

[Missy]

Thanks, missy.

I must add, in their defense, that both my parents were orphans.
They grew up together in the same religious orphanage.
My dad's dad dropped him off at what they called, "The Children's Home" but kept dad's siblings, and went on to have more kids. OUCH!

Mom and Dad did the best they could but did not have parenting tools and skills because they themselves did not have parents.

Wow, your parents certainly had a rough start especially your dad. I think many people forget that parents are just human and for the most part do the best they can. Your parents overcame a huge hardship and it's pretty amazing that despite all that they still raised a wonderful son!


Happy 50th isaku! What a wonderful milestone!

Rosetta, I think that could be part of the reason I never wanted kids. No way I could do as good of a job as my parents!

 

[yssie]

Childhood - 9. My parents were very loving, there was never anything I needed and didn't have, and they rarely denied me things I wanted. They were very driven - schoolwork, music, sports - I was expected to excel, period. And I did.

Adolescence - 6? I had something of a meltdown end of highschool and at that time learnt the importance of maintaining the family 'image' - making sure no-one outside the immediate family ever heard anything about it. I think it was mostly culture shock - I grew up in Aus/NZ but I guess until that point I was pretty culturally sheltered, and had just started noticing and wanting to explore the differences...

Now it's a standing joke that "I was such a good kid, what happened?" - I can laugh, but it does still sorta sting... but I'm much further along in accepting that while I've disappointed them in a lot of ways I can't live for their approval forever. I know my mum still hopes I'll decide to go to med school afterall

 

[kenny]

Your parents overcame a huge hardship and it's pretty amazing that despite all that they still raised a wonderful son!

What a nice compliment.
I'll pass it on to my brother.

 

[Missy]

Your parents overcame a huge hardship and it's pretty amazing that despite all that they still raised a wonderful son!

What a nice compliment.
I'll pass it on to my brother.

Let me amend that to two wonderful sons.

 

[kenny]

I know my mum still hopes I'll decide to go to med school afterall

Med school?!?
Hell, my parents were so happy to finally have a kid to graduated from High School.
My 3 older siblings didn't... too busy getting pregnant, running away from home, being in prison, gangs or being drugged up.

It's all relative. (oops, accidental pun)

 

[yssie]

I know my mum still hopes I'll decide to go to med school afterall

Med school?!?
Hell, my parents were so happy to finally have a kid to graduated from High School.
The previous 3 didn't.

It's all relative. (oops, accidental pun)

Indeed. Families vary
We all seem to have turned out quite well - whether that's because of or despite or some combination, I suppose!
Edit*

 

[aviastar]

I voted 10. If you had asked me to rate it while I was still in it, I probably wouldn't have said ten because I was an overdramatic child and stuff like siblings getting a 'bigger' scoop of ice cream seem so large when you are 5.

But, looking back? Even through the rough teenage years, I never ever doubted my parents- not their love for me, not their love for each other, not their absolute dedication to our family. They weren't perfect, and neither was I, but I went with a 10 vote because I can't think of anything I would have changed.

 

[Jennifer W]

Thanks, missy.

I must add, in their defense, that both my parents were orphans.
They grew up together in the same religious orphanage.
My dad's dad dropped him off at what they called, "The Children's Home" but kept dad's siblings, and went on to have more kids. OUCH!

Mom and Dad did the best they could but did not have parenting tools and skills because they themselves did not have parents.

The bit you wrote in bold makes me want to weep for him.

I thought about this, and feel like I don't really want to rate my own childhood. It had its ups and downs, but I'm moving on, and part of the process for me is understanding that my family probably really did try their best. So, I won't rate them or berate them, I'll just let it go, and try to learn some 'how not to do it' type stuff to help me do my own best for my child. Maybe I'll do better, who knows? I hope so.

This is a very thought provoking and interesting thread.

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

I voted 2... Bad childhood...

 

[Dancing Fire]

My childhood was a very good one with the exception of a couple of things: My mom was not abusive, but she was very critical. She told me later on that she didn't want me to have a "swelled head" (her words). My dad thought that I was the perfect child, but worked long and hard and belonged to many organizations in which he worked his way to the top. I hardly ever saw him, but when I did he instilled in me the belief that everything was possible.

My teens were good, not great. I liked school and did well, but had to accept the fact that I was a nerd and associated with people like myself. I met my future husband at 16 (He was 20). He treated me like royalty. He didn't kiss me for three months and then, he missed the target. Apparently, my mouth was the target, but we got each other's cheek Now, in a couple of weeks we will celebrate our 50th anniversary.

Isabel
wow!! very rare nowadays, congrats to you and your husband...

 

[Begonia]

1

On the first list.

How I coped?

Maybe about a 3 or 4. Amazingly well...considering.

How would I have turned out with a 9 or 10?

Unstoppable, I imagine.

You can't pick your beginnings, but I guess I have some say over the middle and ending.

 

[Dancing Fire]

b/t 3-4

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

Dh would probably say 9 or even 10. Wonder what that feels like...

 

[CharmedOne]

If there was a negative option, I'd chose that. My parents were very selfish and to this day, I can't for the life of me understand why they continued to have more kids. I left home at 15 and never looked back. Honestly, I learned how to be a better parent by raising my children the complete opposite of how I was raised.

My mom moved out of the house when I was 14 to get an apartment and shack up with her boyfriend. We were in our teens and still in school and we had absolutely no way to pay any of the bills. She owned the house but stopped paying taxes, so eventually the government caught up with all that and changed the locks. I really wish I could pity her but all I feel is hate. We haven't spoken in well over 20+ years and I'm happy to go fifty more.

 

[Kaleigh]

I don't normally do these types of things, but if someone is out there and can benefit I am all for sharing it..

I rated mine at a 2..


I think getting help for the trauma you go through is a huge help.


I don't think of myself as a victim.


I am just glad going forward my kids didn't have to suffer as I did..

You can break cycles and you can break dysfunction...


It's never easy... I still bear scars but am good within...

And if you asked me would I change anything??

NO because I am stronger for it..


Strange to many but if you have been through it, ya get it....

Great thread and hoping it will be of help to some....

 

[TravelingGal]

I first read this and thought, "10! Loved my childhood!"

And then I thought about it and realized...uh, no way...my childhood had lots of bad stuff in it.

And then I thought...isn't it great that it's like labor and you don't think about the bad stuff first...just the end result? So I'll keep thinking it's a 10. I'm (sort of ) well adjusted anyway.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

I would rate my overall from childhood to teen years as a two. I'm glad I've moved on and I am more than determined not to repeat

 

[KaeKae]

Following the directions, I went with my first instinct and said 7.
My childhood was actually very good. Two parents, brother and me. We weren't wealthy, we didn't have the best of anything, but we had a home, food, clothes, friends, good school, nice, safe neighborhood to play in.
Teen years were much harder. Mom died of lung cancer when I was 13, she was in treatment a full year before that. Father worked in the city, so was away long hours. He got...over protective, and overbearing at times. And, of course, a lot of the house work was left to me. It's just not the same without your mom.

 

[Circe]

A big fat TEN.

Honestly, I worry about having kids coz I don't think I can live up to my parents. Unconditional love, they sacrificed everything for us. They taught me everything from riding a bike, learning to swim, pitching a tent, cooking etc. They encouraged all our hobbies, they enabled us to study whatever we wanted to in university. They are the reason I'm a doctor, my brother is a lawyer and my sister is an English professor with a PhD. Most importantly, they are the reason for my self-confidence and the seed of my self-esteem. I have no doubt that it is because of their love and support that I have never been trapped in a bad relationship and why I continue to achieve my life goals. I cannot overstate how wonderful my childhood was. I hope my marriage lasts as long as theirs has: 38 years and through thick and thin, including my mother's fight through cancer.

They were, and continue to be, absolutely awesome

Wow, Rosetta - this is getting stitched on a sampler and going on my wall as a reminder of hat I want my kids to feel like when they are grown. Kudos to your parents!