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RMOO said:
Oh no, I am so sorry. I am assuming you are about to loose him to a medical situation. I have been in your situation, and all I can say is that I hope you can lean on other siblings and family members as you greive. Take care.
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I'm not sure what I feel right now, if I'm honest. Pancreatic cancer. Went through a course of chemo and radiation, had surgery yesterday. they found a turmor on the aorta which can't be removed. there's talk about more radiation but, just my personal thoughts is that it will not work. It has to be offered of course but even with the offer, the prognosis still isn't very good. Without , they're talking less than a year. With, maybe 2.

Soon as my mom called, I told her I knew. Her call was just confirmation of what I was feeling.

My brother and I talked, had some fantastic talks because I had personal experience with chemo and radiation before and he was really scared about all of it. It sucks. like really sucks, but he told me that talking to me helped.

And even though I'm sad, the tears just won't come.

I worry about his kids and his poor wife who lost her mother 3 years ago. She's having a very rough time of all this with him being so sick. I worry about my parents who is going to lose their first born son. I worry about him because this is one more thing he's going to have to come to terms with.

My biggest hope is that he's making peace with whatever comes next. Sometimes thats the only choices that we get to make.
 
Oh Arcadian, I am so so sorry. Is there anything I can do to help you? Sending you hugs and love. If you want to talk please come here. Please know I’m here for you. It’s hard when you are taking care of everyone else’s emotional needs to remember you have to take care of yourself too. Hugs, Callie
 
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Calliecake said:
Oh Arcadian, I am so so sorry. Is there anything I can do to help you? Sending you hugs and love. If you want to talk please come here. Please know I’m here for you. It’s hard when you are taking care of everyone else’s emotional needs to remember you have to take care of yourself too. Hugs, Callie
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Thank you. giving the words space to breathe helps more than you know.
 
Arcadian said:
I'm not sure what I feel right now, if I'm honest. Pancreatic cancer. Went through a course of chemo and radiation, had surgery yesterday. they found a turmor on the aorta which can't be removed. there's talk about more radiation but, just my personal thoughts is that it will not work. It has to be offered of course but even with the offer, the prognosis still isn't very good. Without , they're talking less than a year. With, maybe 2.

Soon as my mom called, I told her I knew. Her call was just confirmation of what I was feeling.

My brother and I talked, had some fantastic talks because I had personal experience with chemo and radiation before and he was really scared about all of it. It sucks. like really sucks, but he told me that talking to me helped.

And even though I'm sad, the tears just won't come.

I worry about his kids and his poor wife who lost her mother 3 years ago. She's having a very rough time of all this with him being so sick. I worry about my parents who is going to lose their first born son. I worry about him because this is one more thing he's going to have to come to terms with.

My biggest hope is that he's making peace with whatever comes next. Sometimes thats the only choices that we get to make.
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My brother was also the oldest. Aggressive oral cancer. Did radiation, but it came back within a short period of time. He was gone within 4 months. We were not very close, so my grief kind of took me by surprise. It is a very strange feeling, loosing a sibling. I mean they are not a parent, a spouse, or a child of yours, so the hole left is different. Your tears will come....or they won't. Everyone greives differently. Perhaps spending time with his kids would help (not sure what age they are.) I'm sure their lives are topsy-turvy with all this going on, so maybe doing something "normal" will help them feel like things are under control, give them an opportunity to talk about things, and make you feel like you did something to help in a situation where everyone feels helpless.

Take care.
 
Dear @Arcadian I am so very sorry.
My heart goes out to you and your family.
Sending you gentle hugs
 
@Arcadian, terribly sorry to hear about your brother. So heartbreaking for all - take care.
 
RMOO said:
My brother was also the oldest. Aggressive oral cancer. Did radiation, but it came back within a short period of time. He was gone within 4 months. We were not very close, so my grief kind of took me by surprise. It is a very strange feeling, loosing a sibling. I mean they are not a parent, a spouse, or a child of yours, so the hole left is different. Your tears will come....or they won't. Everyone greives differently. Perhaps spending time with his kids would help (not sure what age they are.) I'm sure their lives are topsy-turvy with all this going on, so maybe doing something "normal" will help them feel like things are under control, give them an opportunity to talk about things, and make you feel like you did something to help in a situation where everyone feels helpless.

Take care.
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his kids are older, his youngest just turned 32. Still, losing their father isn't going to be easy.
 
I'm so sorry Arcadian. I lost my brother and sister too. My sister was last summer. It's hard. Whether you are close or not, it takes a lot out of you. Be kind to yourself. Take care.
 
Covering up the truth doesn’t change it
Hiding the facts won’t help anyone
 
I'm so sorry @Arcadian . I have no experience in this area but know that it must be very difficult. Wishing you and your family
strength and peace during these trying times.
 
@Arcadian im so sorry about your brother and im thinking of you, him and his family
cancer sux
i hope he has some quality time with his family
 
Daisys and Diamonds said:
@Arcadian im so sorry about your brother and im thinking of you, him and his family
cancer sux
i hope he has some quality time with his family
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They released him from the hospital yesterday so he's at home, pain is not very well controlled though. I haven't spoken to him as I want to give him time to settle down from all that.
 
Arcadian said:
They released him from the hospital yesterday so he's at home, pain is not very well controlled though. I haven't spoken to him as I want to give him time to settle down from all that.
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I hope they are able to adjust his pain meds so a more tolerable level for him. Warm thoughts going to all of you!
 
I’m so sorry @Arcadian. Sending you support and strength.
 
Gah, big squeeze. That's incredibly hard @Arcadian, and we're here for you.
 
Arcadian said:
They released him from the hospital yesterday so he's at home, pain is not very well controlled though. I haven't spoken to him as I want to give him time to settle down from all that.
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in NZ the hospice is very good at getting pain under control, to help people to carry on living
When Gary's late daughter was in actual hospital they were not good at controling her pain, they had her on less pain killers than what was normally prescribed to her but finally a pain specialist was called in from the hospice and she begain to feel like she could cope again
i hope your brother has all the help he needs
 
@Arcadian, I’m sorry your brother is in pain. From what I have been told Palliative care is also supposed to be very good at managing pain. Could this be an option for your brother? How are you handling all this emotionally? It’s a lot to wrap your head around and deal with. It’s so hard. Please take good care of yourself. I think of you often. Hugs, Callie
 
I don't want to start a thread for this and when I see those heartfelt please pray threads I always do but I never know what to say so I really reply

Today has been the worst day since my dad died
Gary is very sick
He has sepsis with a whole host of other things
But we could not fault the care
From the peremstics and fireman- the stretcher was not going to get into our house so 4 fireman came to get him out . Very practiced. I never thought of that when we were house shopping. The car had a flat battery and I couldn't find the keys do thr ambulances (,there were 2) had to park on the street
It took 8 minutes to get to hospital
Thankfully the ambo warned me there would be a lot of doctors and nurses when we arrived
It wasn't like TV. It was calm and unpaniced
The staff are the league of nati ons but most of the doctors seem to have trained down home at otago med school
Many hours latter when we moved to critical care I asked would it be ok if I went for tea (dinner,) as I hadn't eaten all day
The prettiest young Asian doc said we are 4 doctors and we all trained at otago
Gary would roll his eyes if he could
I could not fault the care in our rural backwater out here in the boondocks
 
I think holy cow what would all this cost in America
Anyway he was so cold but they warmed him up with this pump up blanket thing and gave his warn oxygen and warm it fluids
Its come a long way since M*A*S*H
That's the only medical programe I ever watched on TV
 
Oh and year opps.
Prayers. Dust. Healing thoughts all welcome
I got lost before and ended up outside the chappel
I hope God doesn't think Nicky why you only come here when you need something ?
Anyway he has to get better because two days ago his daughter in law died and Aaron needs his dad
 
I forgot to say most of the lady nurses and doctors have stud earrings and fine necklaces. The lady anathedtioligist had the prettiest diamond pendent
 
Daisys and Diamonds said:
I don't want to start a thread for this and when I see those heartfelt please pray threads I always do but I never know what to say so I really reply

Today has been the worst day since my dad died
Gary is very sick
He has sepsis with a whole host of other things
But we could not fault the care
From the peremstics and fireman- the stretcher was not going to get into our house so 4 fireman came to get him out . Very practiced. I never thought of that when we were house shopping. The car had a flat battery and I couldn't find the keys do thr ambulances (,there were 2) had to park on the street
It took 8 minutes to get to hospital
Thankfully the ambo warned me there would be a lot of doctors and nurses when we arrived
It wasn't like TV. It was calm and unpaniced
The staff are the league of nati ons but most of the doctors seem to have trained down home at otago med school
Many hours latter when we moved to critical care I asked would it be ok if I went for tea (dinner,) as I hadn't eaten all day
The prettiest young Asian doc said we are 4 doctors and we all trained at otago
Gary would roll his eyes if he could
I could not fault the care in our rural backwater out here in the boondocks
Click to expand...

I'm so sorry Nicky. Praying he makes a full recovery. Gentle hugs
 
@Daisys and Diamonds I am so sorry Gary is sick, and for the loss of his daughter-in-law. Sending prayers for Gary's quick recovery.
 
Thank you
We really need them still
He is out of surgery but is still out off it
They say hecisbt iyt if the woods but is impriving slowly
He only had one of those anesthetics that go in your spine
They got a lot of deep infection out but he will need another opp in 2 days to make sure it's gone
This place is empty this time of night . I stumbled on the chappel .it's a year older than me
Lots of Long corridors with nice photos of wanganui
 
Daisys and Diamonds said:
I don't want to start a thread for this and when I see those heartfelt please pray threads I always do but I never know what to say so I really reply

Today has been the worst day since my dad died
Gary is very sick
He has sepsis with a whole host of other things
But we could not fault the care
From the peremstics and fireman- the stretcher was not going to get into our house so 4 fireman came to get him out . Very practiced. I never thought of that when we were house shopping. The car had a flat battery and I couldn't find the keys do thr ambulances (,there were 2) had to park on the street
It took 8 minutes to get to hospital
Thankfully the ambo warned me there would be a lot of doctors and nurses when we arrived
It wasn't like TV. It was calm and unpaniced
The staff are the league of nati ons but most of the doctors seem to have trained down home at otago med school
Many hours latter when we moved to critical care I asked would it be ok if I went for tea (dinner,) as I hadn't eaten all day
The prettiest young Asian doc said we are 4 doctors and we all trained at otago
Gary would roll his eyes if he could
I could not fault the care in our rural backwater out here in the boondocks
Click to expand...

So very sorry to hear that Gary is so sick. Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers for a full recovery. Take good care of yourself the best you can.
 
Arcadian said:
I'm not sure what I feel right now, if I'm honest. Pancreatic cancer. Went through a course of chemo and radiation, had surgery yesterday. they found a turmor on the aorta which can't be removed. there's talk about more radiation but, just my personal thoughts is that it will not work. It has to be offered of course but even with the offer, the prognosis still isn't very good. Without , they're talking less than a year. With, maybe 2.

Soon as my mom called, I told her I knew. Her call was just confirmation of what I was feeling.

My brother and I talked, had some fantastic talks because I had personal experience with chemo and radiation before and he was really scared about all of it. It sucks. like really sucks, but he told me that talking to me helped.

And even though I'm sad, the tears just won't come.

I worry about his kids and his poor wife who lost her mother 3 years ago. She's having a very rough time of all this with him being so sick. I worry about my parents who is going to lose their first born son. I worry about him because this is one more thing he's going to have to come to terms with.

My biggest hope is that he's making peace with whatever comes next. Sometimes thats the only choices that we get to make.
Click to expand...

Keeping you, your brother and family in my thoughts and prayers.
 
@Daisys and Diamonds, I am so sorry to hear this. I too hope he makes a full recovery. Prayers for healing and comfort going out for both of you. I hope you can get some rest now while he is resting.
 
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