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Ramance, proposal, engagement rings........ but what do women do for us????

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trichrome

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 9, 2002
Messages
397
Hi all,

WE do all the stuff. We do take months to get a beutiful ring... We then
take hours to get everything together to make the actual proposal....
THEY (the girls) all are waiting for that.. BUT what are they doing for us?
Can someone tell me? Ah yeah, they say "yes".
Being a man today in the year 2002 is worse than being a slave in
the middle ages....

So can someone tell me why we have to do all that stuff? What are
we getting at the end?
 

Mara

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 30, 2002
Messages
31,003
what?! What are you getting in the end? A beautiful, loving wife that will be your loyal companion, confidant and equal. Well in a perfect world anyway.

Chances are your girlfriend has put up with enough from you as a male in general (:bigsmile: ) to warrant the ring with the sweet proposal more than once over!
 

lawmax

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 31, 1999
Messages
1,317
By doing all of this you are showing her how much you love her and want this occasion to be one where she felt very special---one she'll never forget. If you don't think it's worth it, ask the guys who didn't do any of this and whose wives felt hurt by the lack of effort for the entire marriage.
 

Rook

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 4, 2002
Messages
294
Name one time, or one item that a woman buys for her man that she puts this much effort and thought into!

I agree that the many little things that woman do everyday for their men warrant the effort men put towards buying a diamond, but men also do the many little things???
 

trichrome

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 9, 2002
Messages
397
hehehe Rook,

I agree 100000 times with you....

Of course, I'll do everything to please her and to make
that moment so special for us.... but I'm the kind
of guy who would also like to be pleased one day..
that much.....!!!!!!

:))
 

Mara

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 30, 2002
Messages
31,003
Hmm well I haven't plunked down the plastic for a purchase of this magnitude, I will admit...BUT I did slave over a birthday party at our place for my guy this year. It took 2 months in the planning, much stress in the last few days, two days off from work to get things finalized, shelling out a pretty penny in food & drinks, and then there was the cleanup! So no..I probably won't put as much thought into his wedding ring (titanium wide band. done.), but I sure do try to do other things to liven up things and show him that I care. I get some brownie points for that, don't I?!
:rolleyes:

I'm definitely the detail oriented one in our pair, but that is okay. It takes two to complete the puzzle right? :)
 

jkruer01

Rough_Rock
Joined
Dec 10, 2002
Messages
53
Just my perspective. Once you are ready to marry a girl you should want to do all of this stuff for her. You are going to spend the rest of your life serving her and putting her needs before yours. You should WANT to do anything you can to make your girl happy. But after all, what do I know I am only a teenage guy that is lucky enough to be In Love with the girl of my dreams.:love:
 

lawmax

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 31, 1999
Messages
1,317
You may be able to shop and buy and plan....if it is in the plans/cards...she may give you the gift of a child. Try that! :)
 

Rook

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 4, 2002
Messages
294
Ok I was trying to dance around the child thing, but that is a womans excuse for everything. Not that it is not a very good excuse.

Actually, I got into the habit of bringing home fresh flowers on a regular basis. Then for some reason I stopped. My girlfriend asked me why I didn't buy her flowers anymore and I replied that she never bought me flowers. Well she went out the next day and bought me some:)

I am one of those wierd guys that actually likes flowers. I like to garden too:rolleyes:

Don't worry, I like to drink beer, watch football, and build things too.

Mara, how do you and your guy like the titanium ring? I was looking at them. They are very nice looking, but I was shyed away because the jeweler told me that if you jam your finger, they are very hard to cut off.
 

Mara

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 30, 2002
Messages
31,003
Rook, I garden too and my guy never brings me flowers anymore. I asked him why and he said 'because you have a ton in the yard!'. Okay. :) At least it made me laugh.

We are just scoping out the titanium rings, we like the brushed look of them..also he likes the wide band ones, and we might do one of the ones that is striped in the middle with yellow gold. We shall see--his tastes are very simple. I hadn't heard about the 'not being able to cut' it off part. That could be dangerous! Hmm. :errrr:
 

jkruer01

Rough_Rock
Joined
Dec 10, 2002
Messages
53
Where have you been looking at the titanium rings? They seem like they would be very nice looking. It makes since about the not being able to cut it off. Titanium is a very hard metal.
 

Mara

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 30, 2002
Messages
31,003
So far just around the web...do a search on Google for Titanium Ring or Titanium Wedding Ring and you will get a bunch of returns. Though we will have to look into it more carefully as I don't want to have to make a trip the ER with it! :(sad
 

Rockford

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 8, 2002
Messages
20
That's BS. You can cut titanium rings off.

And as for the original question...



By the way I'm just kidding!!!!! It's still pretty funny though.[/u]
 

DiamondDealHunter

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 18, 2003
Messages
37
I am actually doing all this to be sure I get taken care of in bed the rest of my capable years...I will always have the $7000 ring close by to remind her when she gets a headache....
They also help in kinda like be a PDA and reminding us where we have to be and what important dates are when, like birthdays, Dr. appointments....anniversaries.
And besides, who else would you trust to watch your kid(s) when you are watching football?
LOL hehehehe
 

andrea

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 9, 2002
Messages
154
Believe me. It's usually the one, and only time that a man has to do anything strenuous in the relationship. I'm not saying that all men are like this, but it's rare that you find one that will split everything 50/50, right down to the kids' b-day parties. My experience has been that women do all of the planning, and preparing, while the man is just informed, and expected to show.
AND, don't ever take for granted even the smallest of preperations, because there's alot that goes into the event. Things that men tend to overlook are some of the things that are really important to us.
Now aren't you glad you asked.
Can anyone back me up here
 

stewie

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 8, 2003
Messages
20
ha ha... I like this thread.

I'm in finance, so I told my gf that in order to make a rational decision on what to spend for a ring, I would apply an appropriate discount rate to the future cost of having a full time maid and cook for the rest of my life.

Even though I rationalized that this would result in her getting a nice big honkin' diamond, she was NOT amused.

oh well... makes sense to me!
 

Mara

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 30, 2002
Messages
31,003
Many males tend to be lazy(note I did not say *all*)...so I'm not surprised that of course a male started this thread whining about how he has to actually DO SOME WORK for a change!


I agree about women doing most of the planning in life, whether its a dinner party or the wedding, or deciding when to bring children into the picture, or where to live, when to buy a house, etc. I do ALL the research for anything that we do together, and he just reaps the benefits! Of course I am neither a maid (hate cleaning!) or a full-time cook (love to cook, but not just for the 2 of us)...so don't know if I qualify..but I even did the resarch on my own ring and stone. All he had to do was approve the purchase and plunk down the credit card. Come on! Is that so much to ask? Even our proposal was low-key...since I know my sweetie is not a big detail-oriented planner type. I would DIE of shock if he ever surprised me with a birthday party or a holiday trip on whim or out of the blue. I'm the one who plans everything and anything, even our weekends out with friends. Even if he initiates it...it falls inevitably to me to actually plan it. Of course that means I get it how I want it...but hey..its still work!!

So of course women get some credit too....where would men be without us to regulate their lives? Much richer in $$ I am sure, but what is money if you don't have someone to share it with? Hee Hee...that is my story and I am sticking to it!
 

Greg G

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 27, 2003
Messages
36
Just accept it as one of the unfair things about being the guy. If you tally up the unfair things about being a woman I think we don't have so much to complain about. We don't have to deal with a not so friendly montly visitor (though we do feel some effects...). Our job is damn fun and doesn't require 9 months of body gone wild as far as making babies is concerned. We don't have to wear high heal shoes (revenge for the tie perhaps but still - ouch!). We get to choose the time and place of the proposal rather than wait around hoping. We get paid more to do the same jobs. On the average we are stronger and less helpless against physical confrontation.

All that aside, it's still WAY hard to understand this whole ring thing but I've concluded it's not for us to understand. Perhaps it helps that I figure that when the times come that I want expensive toys I've got a lot of cathing up to do before there is more than one vote involved in the purchase decision =)

Bottom line is deal with it and go buy a nice ring already!
For comic relief check out my post: "The stages of the emotional journey to buy an egagement ring"

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/the-stages-of-the-emotional-journey-to-buy-an-egagement-ring.4489/

-Greg
 

mlas4ever

Rough_Rock
Joined
Feb 7, 2003
Messages
1
That is soo sweet! My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half, but for the past five months he has been two hours away at college. It has really tested are relationship, but also shown how strong we are. He still drives to our hometown every weekend(a 170 miles one way.) I am so lucky to love and be loved by him!!
 

shurikt

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 4, 2002
Messages
51
Nice thread...

You guys that are complaining need to get new girlfriends. And not for any "you should love her that much" reasons either. Seriously. What, are you hanging out with whiny layabout dogs? Maybe it's something that a few more trips to the gym or the dentist would fix...


Oh, and Rockford: Post a warning when you're going to put a link like that up. Some people (like me) could get fired for opening that link at work.
 

trichrome

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 9, 2002
Messages
397
Bottom line :
Me too, I want a diamond on my wedding ring !!


By the way, who is supposed to choose/buy the male wedding ring?

Trichrome.
 

trichrome

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 9, 2002
Messages
397
lololololol.....

I'm pretty sure many people (like Mara) would want to know my fiance!!!


But well she's the type to say "how do you open the computer?"

When I said her that I've posted a couple of times on this forum,
She said "oh yeah?? and are there any women posting there?"
I replied "of course... even one put some picture of herself and her fiance"
and she said "really ?? is she cute?"
I said "yes she is"....
and then she was mad at me ....... lololol
my girl is so jealous & posssssssesssssssiveeeeeeeeeee!

Trichrome
 

Fire In The Sky

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 5, 2003
Messages
1
I agree with your line of thinking. I do alot for my girlfriend. I support her in everything she does. I do all the little things that anyone could want little gifts here and there flowers just because. I even kdnapped her from work one day (with her bosses permission of course)and took her out to a long lunch and a great day of shopping and then.... I cook dinner for her. Granted women do a lot for us but there are some of us that do a lot for the woman in our lives. However we are still obligated to buy "THE RING" and it cant be just any ring it has to be "THE RING". A pretty penny I might say. So what should we get in return???? I say what about the engagement motorcycle??? That works for me THE ENGAGEMENT MOTORCYCLE you get a ring we get a motorcycle. SOUNDS FAIR TO ME :-}
 

Mara

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 30, 2002
Messages
31,003
HAHA Trichome I don't know how I missed that post from a month ago. Hilarious!!
Where is your picture of you and your fiance?! The more important Q is has she seen your little instigatory post here? I bet she'd have a thing or two to say about it!


Fire, you must be related to my FI. He loves the idea of an engagement motorcycle. He reminds me that my ring was his dream cycle. Yeah yeah...this investment was MUCH SAFER.
 

Colored Gemstone Nut

Ideal_Rock
Trade
Joined
Nov 21, 2002
Messages
2,324
Hey Mara-In response to this qoute in your previous addition to the thread:
So of course women get some credit too....where would men be without us to regulate their lives?
You talk about planning and showing motivation and initiative in your mans life. You being the one who always plans things and week-ends with the friends etc...
It has been my experience that this can be a double edged sword. One where a woman likes to have this kind of control over the relationship and it has become a mans task if he wants to stay happy to learn to live with it. I too let my fiance do a lot of the planning because she likes doing it, for most men we would be in the same situation we were in before we met beautiful thoughtful organized creatures like yourself.....
Thats a situation where we would be content in living in peace in harmony with our own sense of planning and priorities, but of course as you point out that all changes when commitment comes in to play.
It seems we have to be committed to living with the way things are. I have also experienced in previous relationships women who like to do all the planning and organizing and really in the whole scheme of things don't want their mans input and then seem to have a knack of throwing it back in our face when something goes wrong....lol...lol...lol...

Trichrome I am with you all the way. I think it should be equal and I think since I dropped big bucks on a ring my fiancee should drop big bucks on mine......

Mara I really enjoy your sense of humor and all your post, but lets reveal all the facts when talking about the relationship between you and your man, I wonder what he has to put up with and what he has to deal with. It probably involves working around all your planning. He HE HEeee........
-Josh Rioux
Sitka, Alaska
 

Mara

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 30, 2002
Messages
31,003
Oh I will freely admit that it comes down to a sense of priorities and keeping the other happy. My guy is very mellow but sometimes complains that I 'overschedule' him. He forgets to be places, shows up late for friend dinners, etc. He has started to learn to call ahead of time (that is going really well...after three years!!). But of course his life is much more interesting now that he has me in it!


My planning comes in handy when I can research things that HE wants me to, like a trip to visit his friends in the Midwest, or our romantic weekend getaway..or even the ring...he honestly had that SO EASY. He really trusted that I would choose the right thing and does commend me on it. We went to visit with a wedding photographer last weekend and while he sulked the way there, he really liked the guy, and after a 2.5 hour discussion with the potential photographer, my guy thanked me for doing my research so diligently. He said something along the lines of..'you must have really done your homework to find us a person to talk to that is so high quality'. Awww..recognition is nice too

I do like to have the control, and he knows it. We are both strong willed people, but he tends to be more mellow with me and strong willed at work. I have had to learn to give him control when he decides that he does want to do something his way. That too has taken three years.
So it is a give and take, push and pull. Balance I guess.

Funny story....Since I love to research and plan plan plan, my guy about 2 years ago suggested that we just fly by the seat of our pants and go away for a weekend. Okay..it was hard but I agreed. We left on a Sat for San Luis Obispo, bout a 3 hour drive from home. We arrive Sat night only to find that there is a festival in Pismo Beach (about 10 min drive from SLO) and all the towns nearby are booked, for around 20-30 miles out. We spent an hour and a half at the local visitors center, where the nice couple who ran it stayed overtime with us while we called hotel after hotel, and then took pity on us and offered us their guest room. While that was sweet, we decided on a lovely abode called the Coachman's Inn. This place was a study in scary motels. I am sure we slept with a dozen cockroaches that night. They charged us $160 for that night because they knew they were the only place in town with rooms left (what does THAT say??). We arrived at our room, and determined we wanted to spend as little time as possible in this place..so we went out immediately again to have dinner, and stayed out til late, then came back to sleep, woke up early, packed up and left to shop and breakfast in the town. That was the last time my guy has ever suggested we 'fly by the seat of our pants'--now he makes sure I have made us reservations!! Though we have a funny story to tell now...and we had an awesome time overall--regardless of the additional bed guests.

In summary...he appreciates my planning--until it conflicts with his schedule....the one I don't know about because it only exists in his head.
I got him a Palm a few years ago and that has worked wonders!
 

Lanee

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 29, 2003
Messages
534
Mara very funny story. I am like you but worse. My BF much better. We went to San Juan last year for a long weekend (first trip together didn't know how it was going to go) and I was so freaked out about booking a hotel. He got us a great rate and turned out to be the nicest hotel in town. We had an amazing weekend but moral of the story . . . I do lots of research can't commit to my own research. He usually takes my research and makes the final decision and plans and it works out great.

However, I needed to comment because I got a Palm back in December, best thing ever to happen to me. My life is so much better now.
 

lewissalem

Rough_Rock
Joined
May 6, 2003
Messages
1
oh I love it. Males are lazy. Women plan our dinner parties. etc. etc. I ask you this, what man cares about a dinner party. you women plan stuff for us that we dont even care about. my girlfriend has me booked this entire month. but she's a great girl and i love her. the only true way to be equal is for the woman to buy the man a gift in exchange for a ring. i think that's fair. Hell, i cook for myself. and fix stuff too. do women want equality? this is a great place to start. oh yeah, and all of that wedding planning BS? if you would be decisive for once i think it wouldn't take months to plan.
 
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