Questions of Intent vs. Vows

[amc80]

It seems that most weddings include both the questions of intent (which are required by law) and the vows. The questions of intent are where you are asked if you are willfully entering into the marriage, and you answer either "I do" or "I will." That is followed by the vows, so it looks something like this:

Minister: Before you exchange vows, I ask that you both affirm your intentions.
John, do you take Jane to be your wedded wife? (I do) Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be true and faithful to her as long as you both shall live? (I will) Bride repeats the same

Minister: In that you have affirmed your intentions, please now join hands and repeat after me.
John . . .

I, John, take you, Jane, to be my wife, my constant friend and my love. In the presence of our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner and your endless love. I promise to love, honor and respect you, to laugh and cry with you, and to cherish and put my trust in you. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from today until eternity. Bride repeats the same

I know you can do what you want...but would it be weird to not have both parts? We would like to combine the vows and the questions of intentions into one. My fiance doesn't want to have to repeat anything, he'd rather just say "I do." Something like:

"John, do you take Jane to be your wedded wife? Do you promise to love, honor, and respect her,.........? And at that point say "I do."

Or is that weird?

 

[sillyberry]

Nope, not weird at all. I do think, however, that I would go super traditional with this part so the officiant isn't reading a lot of touchy-feely words.

We did our vows first -- reading off cards, without the officiant -- then the "I Do's" as part of the ring exchange. This is just me, but there is always something slightly uncomfortable to me when the officiant says really personal things that the couple then repeats. I prefer cards.

 

[vc10um]

Nope, not weird at all. I do think, however, that I would go super traditional with this part so the officiant isn't reading a lot of touchy-feely words.

We did our vows first -- reading off cards, without the officiant -- then the "I Do's" as part of the ring exchange. This is just me, but there is always something slightly uncomfortable to me when the officiant says really personal things that the couple then repeats. I prefer cards.

Totally ditto to SB, especially the bolded part.

We did the statement of intent, read vows we wrote ourselves, and then did the ring exchange.

 

[amc80]

Well, the officiant in our case is a close friend (and my MOH's husband), so I don't mind a little touchy feely, but I see what you mean. I think we would go with pretty traditional vows anyway.

 

[sillyberry]

Well, the officiant in our case is a close friend (and my MOH's husband), so I don't mind a little touchy feely, but I see what you mean. I think we would go with pretty traditional vows anyway.

Oh, I think having a close friend officiate is wonderful - we did that and I don't regret it for a second. Her "homily" was a wonderful recounting of how we met and how that relates to our married future. Very touchy-feely!

To be clear, it's more things like "I, Bobby, promise to bring you breakfast in bed, to rub your feet, to blah blah blah" that makes me cringe when read first by the officiant. Actually, it makes me cringe a little regardless, but you know what I mean.

 

[amc80]

Well, the officiant in our case is a close friend (and my MOH's husband), so I don't mind a little touchy feely, but I see what you mean. I think we would go with pretty traditional vows anyway.

Oh, I think having a close friend officiate is wonderful - we did that and I don't regret it for a second. Her "homily" was a wonderful recounting of how we met and how that relates to our married future. Very touchy-feely!

To be clear, it's more things like "I, Bobby, promise to bring you breakfast in bed, to rub your feet, to blah blah blah" that makes me cringe when read first by the officiant. Actually, it makes me cringe a little regardless, but you know what I mean.

Haha, totally. I/we don't really like personalized vows, so I don't think that would be an issue. I just didn't know if people will wonder why we aren't repeating vows to each other.

 

[Ladybug1]

Hahaha Sillybear.... I agree that is horrifying to hear and witness......my Dad and his new wife had something equally horrifying to "Bobby" at their wedding years ago..... Just way too much personal stuff, I do not remember the details ( I blocked it) but I remember being horrified and grossed out )).