Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ...

[Dancing Fire]

the setting or be surprised by not getting involved?

 

[SirGuy]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

Ah, I'm interested in seeing how this goes. Maybe another poll for the guys to answer what they prefer too?

 

[m-2-b]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

DH's usual motto is "get what you really want," so I oblige him in picking out my own settings!

 

[lollipop282]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

I'm pretty particular about my jewelry and I feel the setting is your chance to show your personal tastes and personality. While we match on almost every other level my SO and I do NOT have the same taste in jewelry so I was happy to give him control of the center diamond (with a highlighted 4 C sheet for direction) and I got control of the setting.

We have a "no upgrades" agreement so it's paramount that I get what I want. Haha

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

I picked out the diamond and setting. He provided the checkbook. I don't trust his judgement lol.

 

[woofmama]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

DH picked out everything 18 yrs ago. That ring sat in the drawer unworn for at least 15 yrs.
When I decided to upgrade a couple of years ago all the decisions were 100% mine, as they are with every other jewelry item I've purchased. I'm the one wearing it and if I don't like it, I won't wear it.
I think everyone should get to choose their own setting.

 

[distracts]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

For the engagement ring, we picked together. Our jewelry tastes overlap enough so that we can find something we both love if we do it together. No guarantees that such a thing will happen if we pick separately though!

 

[texaskj]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

For an engagement/wedding ring(s)?
No how, no way should something that expensive and worn every day be a surprise.

 

[marcy]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

I voted complete surprise.

We got engaged 24 years ago and my ering was a complete surprise. I loved it and treasured it for years. It had .25 ctw with a center diamond of .15. DH was the one who suggested we upgrade my rings and we've picked out my upgrades together.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

DH's usual motto is "get what you really want," so I oblige him in picking out my own settings!

+1

I knew how this poll would turn out, DF!!!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

Ah, I'm interested in seeing how this goes. Maybe another poll for the guys to answer what they prefer too?

There are only a dozen guys on PS...

 

[Dancing Fire]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

DH's usual motto is "get what you really want," so I oblige him in picking out my own settings!

+1

I knew how this poll would turn out, DF!!!

Yea, but by such a wide margin ?... I do agree the gf/wife should pick their own setting. The guy shouldn't try to be a hero.

 

[move1986]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

I picked out 3 diamonds for him to choose one and the setting i let him choose instead.

 

[Lorelei]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

DH's usual motto is "get what you really want," so I oblige him in picking out my own settings!

+1

I knew how this poll would turn out, DF!!!

 

[missy]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

My dh truly surprised me when he proposed and he picked out the diamond and the setting all by himself. No input from friends or family because no one knew he was proposing. He did a good job I admit. It was a classic and clean setting and a lovely lively and bright diamond of a good size that many people drooled over while I had it. It just didn't float my boat so to speak. Over a decade later I have a different diamond and setting and went through a few to end up with my dream ring.

I wouldn't change the surprise proposal part in any way but it would have been less expensive if he proposed with a non diamond ring and then we could have picked the ring out together. But I still wouldn't have had the ring I have now as it was a process for me (us) to arrive at what I really wanted my final ER to be. And I didn't find PS till way after anyway (I think I was on ring 2 or 3 at that time lol) so not sure the money spent would be all that different looking back in hindsight.

So to answer your question- it went down the way it was supposed to and my dh and I went through the learning process together after we had been married for a number of years already and it all worked out just fine. Because let's face it, the main thing is to be with your dream partner and the ring can always come later (or not).

And since we have been married I always pick out my own jewelry and my dh always picks out his own watches. So when we make jewelry mistakes these days we have no one to blame but ourselves.

 

[artdecolover71]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

here's the thing, when I was a young woman and we talked engagement, It was not even a discussion for me to pick. We were hopeless romantics and just the idea of a ring on my finger was truly all that mattered. But after being married many years and having several children together, I finally admitted-I really wouldn't have picked that style. So after two re-sets, he suggested we design and have made a ring together that I could love forever. Sooooo, the idea of it being a surprise is oh so romantic, but really, since I am a "jewelry person", he could have never really picked exactly what I wanted.

 

[dk168]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

Both my ex and late partner let me do the choosing, as they knew the consequences of getting anything, jewellery or otherwise, that did not agree with me.

DK

 

[SirGuy]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

Ah, I'm interested in seeing how this goes. Maybe another poll for the guys to answer what they prefer too?

There are only a dozen guys on PS...

Oh, boy. I am quite outnumbered, aren't I?

 

[WillyDiamond]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

I read somewhere a few years ago that 70% of couples shop the ER together, rather than being a total surprise. It does make some sense because the woman has to wear it and you want her to love it. In my case, I took my wife into a few jewelry stores, including Tiffany's to see what she liked. Once I knew what she liked and did not like I had the roadmap. So I ended up buying the ring without her and surprised her. 6 years later I asked her if she wanted to upgrade the setting and that is when I did the halo work for her. She looks at it everyday and comments to me very often how she loves it.

 

[motownmama]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

Su-prise su-prise su-prise!!
He surprised me with the ER and is working on a surprise (with some parameters) for our upcoming 20th. I'm more than happy to be in the minority on this one!!!!!

 

[KenD]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

Would your answer be different for an engagement ring vs. other jewelry?

 

[crr243]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

I'll answer for my gf...

She wants it to be a complete surprise as she thinks shopping together will ruin the magic of it. She said she'd go to a jewelry store with me but would not give any opinions. So, I've had to make a decision based on casual information phishing conversations and some discussion with her parents.

I'm terrible at finalizing a decision, but I pride myself on choosing gifts that perfectly reflect what the person wants. I guess she trusts that I'll do the same thing here.

 

[Lorelei]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

Ah, I'm interested in seeing how this goes. Maybe another poll for the guys to answer what they prefer too?

There are only a dozen guys on PS...

Oh, boy. I am quite outnumbered, aren't I?

Actually, 'tis only fair that the guys get to do their own poll, especially as a certain poster in this thread has a brand new ring and fancy setting coming his way soon which has started quite a trend along with Sir Kenneth's ring....Isn't that right my American BF....

 

[Laila619]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

DH picked out everything 18 yrs ago. That ring sat in the drawer unworn for at least 15 yrs.
When I decided to upgrade a couple of years ago all the decisions were 100% mine, as they are with every other jewelry item I've purchased. I'm the one wearing it and if I don't like it, I won't wear it.
I think everyone should get to choose their own setting.

Ditto, except it was 6 years ago.

I never liked my ring. I'm the one wearing it, so I think I should pick it out. Or at least give him my top 3 picks and have him decide, knowing that whichever one he picks I will like it.

 

[momhappy]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

Definitely not something that I'd want to be surprised with. If you're going to wear something all day/every day, then you should have the ability to pick it out yourself.

 

[WillyDiamond]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

I'll answer for my gf...

She wants it to be a complete surprise as she thinks shopping together will ruin the magic of it. She said she'd go to a jewelry store with me but would not give any opinions. So, I've had to make a decision based on casual information phishing conversations and some discussion with her parents.

I'm terrible at finalizing a decision, but I pride myself on choosing gifts that perfectly reflect what the person wants. I guess she trusts that I'll do the same thing here.

I would think you would be on dangerous ground on this one. She does not want to give an opinion? OK, you buy the ring and she hates it, now what? I guess you could tell her it was all her fault for not giving an opinion, that would be a great start to an engagement - not!

 

[SirGuy]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

I think it's worth considering that some women really don't know much, or anything meaningful, about diamonds or engagement rings. Many of the lovely ladies here express strong opinions about absolutely wanting to be part of the selection process. But I wonder if that's because they're already fans of this stuff and already have strong feelings about it.

There are some women who really don't have a clue. In those cases, I'm sure they're a lot more comfortable letting the fellow do the research and selection. So the poll here may be a little biased because women on this site usually are interested in learning about engagement rings already!

Some gals just quip, "As long as it's sparkly, I'm happy."

 

[swingirl]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

No surprises for me.

Marquise seemed to be popular in the 80's and I was afraid DH's buddy, who worked at his father's jewelry store, would talk DH into a lousy sliver of a diamond in a cheap ugly setting. So I let it be known that I wanted to pick my own. We did go shopping together but in the end i picked out the final stone and setting myself.

PS I really like fat marquise these days!!

 

[msop04]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

I'll answer for my gf...

She wants it to be a complete surprise as she thinks shopping together will ruin the magic of it. She said she'd go to a jewelry store with me but would not give any opinions. So, I've had to make a decision based on casual information phishing conversations and some discussion with her parents.

I'm terrible at finalizing a decision, but I pride myself on choosing gifts that perfectly reflect what the person wants. I guess she trusts that I'll do the same thing here.

I would think you would be on dangerous ground on this one. She does not want to give an opinion? OK, you buy the ring and she hates it, now what? I guess you could tell her it was all her fault for not giving an opinion, that would be a great start to an engagement - not!

This:

I think it's worth considering that some women really don't know much, or anything meaningful, about diamonds or engagement rings. Many of the lovely ladies here express strong opinions about absolutely wanting to be part of the selection process. But I wonder if that's because they're already fans of this stuff and already have strong feelings about it.

There are some women who really don't have a clue. In those cases, I'm sure they're a lot more comfortable letting the fellow do the research and selection. So the poll here may be a little biased because women on this site usually are interested in learning about engagement rings already!

Some gals just quip, "As long as it's sparkly, I'm happy."

but...

Personally, I can't imagine the stress of thinking I didn't have a say in the matter -- then again, if the FH was totally okay with upgrades, then I guess it would be fine... as long as he knew the "upgrade" may be within the first week after he proposed.

 

[Calliecake]

Re: Q for you ladies..would you prefer your bf/DH to pick ..

DH's usual motto is "get what you really want," so I oblige him in picking out my own settings!

I'm way to picky!