Push presents - your thoughts and experiences?

[AmeliaG]

Yes it was in the UK. Both my father and FIL are doctors and it was very much the case that they went to work and their wives did everything else because their jobs were more important... And my mother does indeed deal with all contractors - as do I. My husband wouldn't have a clue what to discuss with a builder, so I am always in charge of that kind of thing - even when we were both working equally long jobs - but then I was brought up knowing how to plaster a wall etc and so it's really easy for me to deal with the plumber so I don't mind.

The time I was really insulted was when I rang a company about some magnetic child locks on cupboards which didn't seem to work (turned out that a piece was missing). The first thing the guy at the company asked was if my husband was at home, when I said he was he asked me to pass the phone to him as it would be better if he explained to a man. By the time I'd finished explaining that my husband didn't know one end of a hammer from another and how unbelievably presumptious and sexist he had just been I don't think he'll make the same mistake again!

Ugh! My mom faced that a lot, Pandora. Her problem is that there were jobs my father didn't want her to do but he dragged his feet doing them or didn't do them well. He isn't handy, shall we say. She got tired of it. So when he left for work, she recruited us to help her dismantle the sink to unclog a drain, fix a toilet, etc.

One time we accidentally knocked a hole in the toilet and she was so scared of what he'd do when he got home because we girls weren't supposed to be doing that. When she tried to call the plumber's, they gave her a rough time and wouldn't send someone unless my father called. They finally relented and my father came home to find a big truck and the house streaming with plumbers. I don't remember what my father said to her afterwards but we got a new toilet.

To this day, all women in the family are more handy than my father, but you'll never get him to admit it. That having been said, I was kinda taken aback by my roommate's father's attitude - yeah, I can do a lot of stuff around the house but I don't want to do it all.

 

[Cehrabehra]

My 3 push presents are my children. And I didn't push them out, they were cut out. I think it's a good *excuse* to buy jewelry but the term "push" technically excludes all of the sectioners. But still, I think it's just kind of a lame but handy excuse to get a gift. The child itself is really all the gift you need! I did get a birthstone ring when my daughter was little to give to her someday but it was a borrowed gift, not a "push present". I don't like that term actually. It brings kind of the meat and guts part of childbirth too much to the conversation lol

 

[fieryred33143]

My 3 push presents are my children. And I didn't push them out, they were cut out. I think it's a good *excuse* to buy jewelry but the term "push" technically excludes all of the sectioners. But still, I think it's just kind of a lame but handy excuse to get a gift. The child itself is really all the gift you need! I did get a birthstone ring when my daughter was little to give to her someday but it was a borrowed gift, not a "push present". I don't like that term actually. It brings kind of the meat and guts part of childbirth too much to the conversation lol

What about on days when they don't feel too much like a gift? Like when they take a marker and decide to draw on as many tiles as they can while you run to the restroom and incorrectly assume they will be fine in the five minutes you are gone? Or when you come out of the bedroom wondering why you smell pancake syrup, look down and see a trail leading up to a toddler covered from head to toe in syrup happily splashing it all around them?

It sure would be nice to stare at some bling then

BTW I'm just teasing. Not about the stories though. That part is all true

 

[monarch64]

I would like a present when I have a baby! The term "push present" doesn't sound all that pretty to me, so I don't use the expression, but I don't hate it.

I've always liked charm bracelets, and I have one in YG and some Pandora bracelets and a necklace. I would love either a Pandora baby carriage charm, or a YG charm that is something baby-themed. Those are really the only things I can think of, jewelry-wise, that are specifically baby-oriented that I would like to have. Any other piece of jewelry I figure I can get any time.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I plan on gifting my baby bauble to my DD when she has a child. If she never has one, I will pick a time I think is appropriate. Maybe a major birthday or something. That was part of the joy for me. Knowing someday my daughter would wear it which is also why I chose to have a sizing bar on the ring. THAT will make me happy to see her enjoy a piece of jewelry that was bought to celebrate HER.

 

[Cehrabehra]

My 3 push presents are my children. And I didn't push them out, they were cut out. I think it's a good *excuse* to buy jewelry but the term "push" technically excludes all of the sectioners. But still, I think it's just kind of a lame but handy excuse to get a gift. The child itself is really all the gift you need! I did get a birthstone ring when my daughter was little to give to her someday but it was a borrowed gift, not a "push present". I don't like that term actually. It brings kind of the meat and guts part of childbirth too much to the conversation lol

What about on days when they don't feel too much like a gift? Like when they take a marker and decide to draw on as many tiles as they can while you run to the restroom and incorrectly assume they will be fine in the five minutes you are gone? Or when you come out of the bedroom wondering why you smell pancake syrup, look down and see a trail leading up to a toddler covered from head to toe in syrup happily splashing it all around them?

It sure would be nice to stare at some bling then

BTW I'm just teasing. Not about the stories though. That part is all true

My middle child liked to paint with his poop. It lasted for a couple years. It happened every day, sometimes twice. I really should have a huge stone to stare at for that!!!! But I hear ya - like I said, it's a good excuse for bling

 

[partgypsy]

"Push presents" bug me a little. Not just the term, which is a little too literal for me, but also whether or not push presents are expected is so socio-economic specific (middle, upper class). Luxuries such as push presents are not reality of most families looking over the world. Like another poster mentioned, their mom asked for a blender so they could make baby food. In my example, my parents started out with no money, living in a small apartment in the inner city. After my sister and I were born, my mother had 3 babies under the age of two, and was doing cloth diapers! There was only the 1 car which my Dad needed for work, so she carted 3 babies 2 blocks to the laundrymat every time she had to do laundry. At some point she demanded a washer. I guess a washer was her push present.

I guess I see push presents as coming from a privileged background. Many women do not even have the father helping materially or with child care, let alone there being enough discretionary money for nonessential items no matter how meaningful they may be.

Maybe demographics are changing with parents getting older, but for most, early in the marriage and when there are new mouths to feed is often tight money-wise for gifts.

I don't want to rain on anyone's parade, but I do see them as a luxury. A bonus, nothing to be expected unless that is something expected in your "circles".