- Joined
- Jul 15, 2005
- Messages
- 5,401
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur''s round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out
to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a
weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his
work.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.
The police are looking into it.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other, ''You stay here; I''ll go on a head.''
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:
''Keep off the Grass.''
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse
said, ''No change yet.''
19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
large.
20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned
veteran.
22. In democracy it''s your vote that counts. In feudalism it''s your count
that votes.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out
to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a
weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his
work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it''ll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.
The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other, ''You stay here; I''ll go on a head.''
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:
''Keep off the Grass.''
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse
said, ''No change yet.''
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
large.
20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned
veteran.
21. A backward poet writes inverse.
22. In democracy it''s your vote that counts. In feudalism it''s your count
that votes.
23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
24. Don''t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!
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