PenelopeJane
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Sep 24, 2009
- Messages
- 112
Home PS Mommy thread with toddlers 12-36 months
- Thread starter mrssalvo
- Start date
- Status
PenelopeJane
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Sep 24, 2009
- Messages
- 112
Dreamer_D
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2007
- Messages
- 29,404
Honetly, at 16 months I don''t think they have the ability to focus their attention and to use their recall well enough to consistently remember "rules" all the time. They are also a little unclear about cause and effect at that age too, which you can imagine makes it hard to learn things too. So doing it over and over is normal. Challenging, but normal.
Blenheim
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2006
- Messages
- 3,136
PJ - Welcome back! Axel especially has grown up so much since the last time you posted here.
So I''ve been waiting until 2.0''s up to post for advice, and at this point I''m not sure when it''s coming up and so I''m just going to post and see how long it stays up. Daycares. We''ve looked at all of the department of social services inspection results and ruled out ones that had worrisome patterns of bad stuff (not just not having their paperwork 100% in order, which everyone seems to have issues with), not responding in what I would consider an appropriate manner to more isolated bad stuff, patterns of parent complaints to DSS, hours that don''t work for us. We called everyone else in the close-by area and did phone interviews, ruled more out because of language barriers being enough that we couldn''t communicate well enough for us to be comfortable or because of unreasonable expectations on their part (ie being closed for the entire month of August). If they passed that round, we went to visit them in person. And we''ve now ruled out all daycares but one. It''s an in-home daycare, been in business for 17 years. About 10-11 kids right now (some part-time), with the primary provider and one assistant. Their limit is 12 kids/2 providers.
Pros-
She has her entire basement dedicated to the daycare. It''s a walk-out. Awesome fenced backyard with lots of grass, playground equipment and ride-on toys. The basement feels good and there''s lots of room indoors to play on rainy days. Lots of varied play areas that would make kids use their imagination and toys are kid-driven rather than battery-driven. Dress up, play kitchen, blocks, cars, trains, puzzles. The kids were playing with play doh while we were there. Everything is well-organized and kid accessible.
Emphasis on good amount of outside time everyday.
The kids seemed very happy and engaged. They were all happy to see "Georgie" and were trying to show him around. One kid pulled out every single truck in the daycare in hopes that he might be interested in playing with them with him, although George really just wanted to walk around holding a block while waving it around in the air.
Emphasis on healthy meals.
Age-appropriate discipline, toys, etc.
She is incredibly organized and on top of things.
She has the day structured with circle time, art, free play. Activities are appropriately seasonal and tied to what''s going on in the world, like learning about seeds in the spring, water in the summer. Pre school curriculum for the older kids.
One of her references kept using the word "phenomenal". Both that I''ve called said that they never had any hesitation about leaving kids with her; would trust her judgment. She doesn''t take any nonsense and the kids really listen to her.
Cons-
She was asking about G''s schedule. DH has been playing with one nap a day for the past week as G has been fighting his afternoon nap. She asked for more details, then said that DH was having him nap too long in the morning and that G still needs 2 naps a day. Just wake him up 30-45 min into morning nap. I think the advice is probably exactly what you guys would have said if I had posted here rather than just told DH to do whatever he thinks is best, so no problems with that. It was more the tone, plus the fact that she was just telling us that we''re doing things wrong rather than saying something about how she''s found that xxx works best for most kids. I wonder how she''d respond if we had concerns with the way that she did something. The references said that they never had any concerns that they felt that they needed to address with her, although one of them said that all of the parents are buddy-buddy and knew that if she approached one of them in a certain way at the end of the day, then the parent and/or kid was in trouble about something. I''d prefer more of a collaborative approach.
She didn''t come across as a very warm person, but I wasn''t sure how much of it was her being all-business for the parent interview. The references said that she''s affectionate enough, but was a little bit hesitant in saying that. One of them said that her old assistant was very warm and playful and was a good counterbalance to her, but she recently has a new assistant who they don''t like quite as much. The other assistant had been their for her kids entire life though, and so they were pretty attached to her. The DSS inspectors noted affectionate interactions between the kids and caregivers in multiple inspection results. It''s possible that some of what I''m interpreting as not particularly warm is a cultural thing? She''s Vietnamese.
TV. I don''t think it really has a place in daycare, but every one that we''ve gone to so far has used it some (except one who had a TV and kids videos out and almost certainly was lying to me). She has them watch Dora or similar, one program some days. Not every day.
So. We could go with her, or we could open our search up to places closer to my work. We''ve been searching out near where DH will work as it''s going to be at least $500 less per month and there''s more availability. The county I work in is notorious for high prices and 2 year wait lists. We''re about to start house-searching and are not completely sure where we''re going to be living long-term, and so we''re not really going for something "close to home". (DH works close to where we currently live though.) I guess that going with the one daycare for now and then searching "close to home" once we have a home is another possibility.
DH starts work on Tuesday, but his mom and sister would be able to cover for a week or two if we needed them to if we were to continue our search.
Thoughts? I''d really appreciate any insight you girls have.
So I''ve been waiting until 2.0''s up to post for advice, and at this point I''m not sure when it''s coming up and so I''m just going to post and see how long it stays up. Daycares. We''ve looked at all of the department of social services inspection results and ruled out ones that had worrisome patterns of bad stuff (not just not having their paperwork 100% in order, which everyone seems to have issues with), not responding in what I would consider an appropriate manner to more isolated bad stuff, patterns of parent complaints to DSS, hours that don''t work for us. We called everyone else in the close-by area and did phone interviews, ruled more out because of language barriers being enough that we couldn''t communicate well enough for us to be comfortable or because of unreasonable expectations on their part (ie being closed for the entire month of August). If they passed that round, we went to visit them in person. And we''ve now ruled out all daycares but one. It''s an in-home daycare, been in business for 17 years. About 10-11 kids right now (some part-time), with the primary provider and one assistant. Their limit is 12 kids/2 providers.
Pros-
She has her entire basement dedicated to the daycare. It''s a walk-out. Awesome fenced backyard with lots of grass, playground equipment and ride-on toys. The basement feels good and there''s lots of room indoors to play on rainy days. Lots of varied play areas that would make kids use their imagination and toys are kid-driven rather than battery-driven. Dress up, play kitchen, blocks, cars, trains, puzzles. The kids were playing with play doh while we were there. Everything is well-organized and kid accessible.
Emphasis on good amount of outside time everyday.
The kids seemed very happy and engaged. They were all happy to see "Georgie" and were trying to show him around. One kid pulled out every single truck in the daycare in hopes that he might be interested in playing with them with him, although George really just wanted to walk around holding a block while waving it around in the air.
Emphasis on healthy meals.
Age-appropriate discipline, toys, etc.
She is incredibly organized and on top of things.
She has the day structured with circle time, art, free play. Activities are appropriately seasonal and tied to what''s going on in the world, like learning about seeds in the spring, water in the summer. Pre school curriculum for the older kids.
One of her references kept using the word "phenomenal". Both that I''ve called said that they never had any hesitation about leaving kids with her; would trust her judgment. She doesn''t take any nonsense and the kids really listen to her.
Cons-
She was asking about G''s schedule. DH has been playing with one nap a day for the past week as G has been fighting his afternoon nap. She asked for more details, then said that DH was having him nap too long in the morning and that G still needs 2 naps a day. Just wake him up 30-45 min into morning nap. I think the advice is probably exactly what you guys would have said if I had posted here rather than just told DH to do whatever he thinks is best, so no problems with that. It was more the tone, plus the fact that she was just telling us that we''re doing things wrong rather than saying something about how she''s found that xxx works best for most kids. I wonder how she''d respond if we had concerns with the way that she did something. The references said that they never had any concerns that they felt that they needed to address with her, although one of them said that all of the parents are buddy-buddy and knew that if she approached one of them in a certain way at the end of the day, then the parent and/or kid was in trouble about something. I''d prefer more of a collaborative approach.
She didn''t come across as a very warm person, but I wasn''t sure how much of it was her being all-business for the parent interview. The references said that she''s affectionate enough, but was a little bit hesitant in saying that. One of them said that her old assistant was very warm and playful and was a good counterbalance to her, but she recently has a new assistant who they don''t like quite as much. The other assistant had been their for her kids entire life though, and so they were pretty attached to her. The DSS inspectors noted affectionate interactions between the kids and caregivers in multiple inspection results. It''s possible that some of what I''m interpreting as not particularly warm is a cultural thing? She''s Vietnamese.
TV. I don''t think it really has a place in daycare, but every one that we''ve gone to so far has used it some (except one who had a TV and kids videos out and almost certainly was lying to me). She has them watch Dora or similar, one program some days. Not every day.
So. We could go with her, or we could open our search up to places closer to my work. We''ve been searching out near where DH will work as it''s going to be at least $500 less per month and there''s more availability. The county I work in is notorious for high prices and 2 year wait lists. We''re about to start house-searching and are not completely sure where we''re going to be living long-term, and so we''re not really going for something "close to home". (DH works close to where we currently live though.) I guess that going with the one daycare for now and then searching "close to home" once we have a home is another possibility.
DH starts work on Tuesday, but his mom and sister would be able to cover for a week or two if we needed them to if we were to continue our search.
Thoughts? I''d really appreciate any insight you girls have.
mrssalvo
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2005
- Messages
- 19,132
penelopejane-welcome and what adorable kids you have!!
loves2laugh-welcome to you too.
jas12- Jake''s started to be picky about what he wears too. sometime''s I''ll let him wear the shirt he chooses but other times I make him wear what I want. He''s not allowed to wear anything but gym shoes to his pre-school and would much prefer his "thomas the train" or "Bob the builder" crocks. sometime''s he''ll squirm and cry when I put them on but I explain he''s going to school and he has no choice. He may cry for a minute or two but will usually move on. I tell him I''m mommy and he''s toddler and he really just doesn''t get to have a say
blen-you said she isn''t a very warm person. is that important to you? I don''t have much advice on what to look for b/c I''ve never put my kids in day care but if I were looking I know that if there was anything that made me slightly uncomfortable that I would probably keep looking. I just always go with the "when in doubt, don''t" theory. But, I have know idea how hard it might be to find excellent childcare places so maybe this gal is really one of the bests?? I''m just now needing to find extended care for Jake due to some of my work hours and am beginning this process myself. i''m sure some of the other mom''s can be more helpful.
loves2laugh-welcome to you too.
jas12- Jake''s started to be picky about what he wears too. sometime''s I''ll let him wear the shirt he chooses but other times I make him wear what I want. He''s not allowed to wear anything but gym shoes to his pre-school and would much prefer his "thomas the train" or "Bob the builder" crocks. sometime''s he''ll squirm and cry when I put them on but I explain he''s going to school and he has no choice. He may cry for a minute or two but will usually move on. I tell him I''m mommy and he''s toddler and he really just doesn''t get to have a say
blen-you said she isn''t a very warm person. is that important to you? I don''t have much advice on what to look for b/c I''ve never put my kids in day care but if I were looking I know that if there was anything that made me slightly uncomfortable that I would probably keep looking. I just always go with the "when in doubt, don''t" theory. But, I have know idea how hard it might be to find excellent childcare places so maybe this gal is really one of the bests?? I''m just now needing to find extended care for Jake due to some of my work hours and am beginning this process myself. i''m sure some of the other mom''s can be more helpful.
PenelopeJane
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Sep 24, 2009
- Messages
- 112
Thanks Blen and MrsS!!
Blen, the pros you listed are awesome and it sounds like an amazing daycare. I have to snicker because I am Vietnamese and it might be a cultural thing that she didn''t come off as warm and bubbly esp if she was not born in America. My mom is very affectionate and smothers her grandkids to pieces. But she is also the worst!!!! when it comes to giving advice with the kids..unsolicited and irritating. She isn''t very good at wording and her criticism makes me feel like a horrible parent sometimes, but I know she means well and isn''t trying to make me feel bad.
Go with your gut. No matter how good everything is on paper, if you aren''t comfortable then it doesn''t matter. I would open up the search just to see what the options are if any...compare, then make a decision. Good luck!
My push present is coming today by noon! Time to pace impatiently around the house.
Blen, the pros you listed are awesome and it sounds like an amazing daycare. I have to snicker because I am Vietnamese and it might be a cultural thing that she didn''t come off as warm and bubbly esp if she was not born in America. My mom is very affectionate and smothers her grandkids to pieces. But she is also the worst!!!! when it comes to giving advice with the kids..unsolicited and irritating. She isn''t very good at wording and her criticism makes me feel like a horrible parent sometimes, but I know she means well and isn''t trying to make me feel bad.
Go with your gut. No matter how good everything is on paper, if you aren''t comfortable then it doesn''t matter. I would open up the search just to see what the options are if any...compare, then make a decision. Good luck!
My push present is coming today by noon! Time to pace impatiently around the house.
Blenheim
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2006
- Messages
- 3,136
A week ago I would have said that a warm personality was important, but after actually going and seeing everyone, I''m no longer completely sure. I''d put it behind me having no doubt that they would be able to handle an emergency appropriately, and behind having a decent amount of structure to the day and more varied activities than "we play with toys, sometimes inside and sometimes outside, and we eat meals and take naps", and - in the daycares in like a 5 mile radius of here - that leaves this one as the one possibility. (Well, there''s one other as well, but her one opening filled up within 15 minutes of us leaving the parent visit. Ugh. DH liked this lady more though.)
Our daycare in MI was perfect in every way, and as a result I am picky as hell going into this. I''m just not sure if I should be picky about those things, if that makes sense.
PJ - I hadn''t thought of the opinionated advice also being a product of her culture, but that makes a lot of sense. She has little enough of an accent that I''m pretty sure that she''s at least 2nd generation American, but to a great extent people learn how to raise children based on how they were raised, you know?
Enjoy your push present!
MrsSalvo - thanks for weighing in. It''s surprisingly hard finding great childcare! Even one of the NAEYC-accredited centers nearby has had enough of a DSS reported pattern of losing 2-3 year olds and not noticing for 5-10 minutes that I wouldn''t trust them. I''d usually totally agree with you on "if you''re not sure, then just don''t", but then again the temporary alternative is my mocha-feeding MIL.
And it looks like it''s time to go wake up my napping child, per the daycare lady, and so off I go.
Our daycare in MI was perfect in every way, and as a result I am picky as hell going into this. I''m just not sure if I should be picky about those things, if that makes sense.
PJ - I hadn''t thought of the opinionated advice also being a product of her culture, but that makes a lot of sense. She has little enough of an accent that I''m pretty sure that she''s at least 2nd generation American, but to a great extent people learn how to raise children based on how they were raised, you know?
Enjoy your push present!
MrsSalvo - thanks for weighing in. It''s surprisingly hard finding great childcare! Even one of the NAEYC-accredited centers nearby has had enough of a DSS reported pattern of losing 2-3 year olds and not noticing for 5-10 minutes that I wouldn''t trust them. I''d usually totally agree with you on "if you''re not sure, then just don''t", but then again the temporary alternative is my mocha-feeding MIL.
And it looks like it''s time to go wake up my napping child, per the daycare lady, and so off I go.
Dreamer_D
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2007
- Messages
- 29,404
Blen I personally think the most important thing is finding someone who will treat George the way you treat him, or the way you would ideally like to treat him if you had the time/energy/patience
From what you describe, it sounds like a really good place. How old are the kids? Will there be a lot of toddlers or not too many? I cannot believe the ratio legally allowed is 12/2, it seems low, but if most of the kids are older then it is not so bad. Did you see her relate to the kids at all? I might try to arrange to come and have George spend an hour there and you sit quietly and observe the goings on. This did a lot for me and allowed me to see how things operate. I want a level of warmth when the kid needs it (like comfort etc), but I prefer a more authoritative style of parenting and so the things you describe would not bother me per se. It matches my style. But you need to find something that works for you. Tentatively I would suggest reserving a spot with her and arranging a gradual entry where you and or DH go with George for the first week or so just for an hour a day and then gradually maybe a little longer. And then in the meantime keep looking into the ones near your work to see if there is something that just feels like a better fit for you guys. Finding a day care you love is really hard, we got very lucky and found a wonderful place. But it is really the most important decision that working parents make and so you should do whatever you need to do to make sure that it feels right.
Dreamer_D
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2007
- Messages
- 29,404
Blenheim
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2006
- Messages
- 3,136
DD - thanks so much for weighing in. Ideally, I''d want someone who is warm but firm and structured and authoratative, and it seems like a hard combo to find (at least around here, so far). I think that the advice thing would affect us more than George - I have no doubt that she would know the "right" thing to do, it''s just how she was presenting it to us.
Unfortunately I didn''t see the primary caregiver interact too much with the kids, as she was spending time with us, answering our questions. Spending more time there during the day is a great idea. I''m going to try to get at least one of us (DH/me) to stop by for a while next week.
I agree that 12/2 sounds awfully high, but no one else here agrees with me! My FIL even said that if they were to hire more caregivers they''d be overstaffing, which was just crazy to me. It''s something like an 8 month old, a 1.5 year old, a 2 year old, a 2.5 year old, and the rest are 3-4.5 year olds - so it''s at least skewed a little bit older. The state assigns points to each kid, like I think newborn-16 months is 4 points, 16-x months is 3, etc, and then there''s also a point-to-caregiver ratio that they need to follow in addition to the max 6 kids per caregiver ratio.
Out of all the places, the kids seemed happiest and most engaged there. Very friendly and curious as well. Well-behaved, but spirited. We met some well-behaved kids elsewhere who seemed a bit too docile. And it was at 5 pm too, and when I talked to my mom she said that she thought it was a miracle that everyone was still happy by 5 pm.
So we spent last night with some family members, who send their daughter to an area preschool that also takes newborns on up and they really like it. I know that some of my FIL''s colleagues also send their kids there, but I couldn''t remember why we ruled them out before visiting (we''ve looked into 50+ at this point and it''s hard to keep track). So I looked at their DSS inspection results last night, and YIKES. They''ve been formally reported for: Leaving a 5 year old on a bus for 45 minutes unattended. Letting some 3-4 year olds leave the building by themselves. They were diapering the babies every 4 hours and mixing up which breastmilk went to which baby. Picking kids up by one arm to carry them. There was an altercation between staff members, witnessed by kids, which ended in the cops being called. WTF.
I agree that 12/2 sounds awfully high, but no one else here agrees with me! My FIL even said that if they were to hire more caregivers they''d be overstaffing, which was just crazy to me. It''s something like an 8 month old, a 1.5 year old, a 2 year old, a 2.5 year old, and the rest are 3-4.5 year olds - so it''s at least skewed a little bit older. The state assigns points to each kid, like I think newborn-16 months is 4 points, 16-x months is 3, etc, and then there''s also a point-to-caregiver ratio that they need to follow in addition to the max 6 kids per caregiver ratio.
Out of all the places, the kids seemed happiest and most engaged there. Very friendly and curious as well. Well-behaved, but spirited. We met some well-behaved kids elsewhere who seemed a bit too docile. And it was at 5 pm too, and when I talked to my mom she said that she thought it was a miracle that everyone was still happy by 5 pm.
So we spent last night with some family members, who send their daughter to an area preschool that also takes newborns on up and they really like it. I know that some of my FIL''s colleagues also send their kids there, but I couldn''t remember why we ruled them out before visiting (we''ve looked into 50+ at this point and it''s hard to keep track). So I looked at their DSS inspection results last night, and YIKES. They''ve been formally reported for: Leaving a 5 year old on a bus for 45 minutes unattended. Letting some 3-4 year olds leave the building by themselves. They were diapering the babies every 4 hours and mixing up which breastmilk went to which baby. Picking kids up by one arm to carry them. There was an altercation between staff members, witnessed by kids, which ended in the cops being called. WTF.
Dreamer_D
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2007
- Messages
- 29,404
Good lord! No thank you!Date: 5/30/2010 10:14:48 AM
Author: Blenheim
DD - thanks so much for weighing in. Ideally, I''d want someone who is warm but firm and structured and authoratative, and it seems like a hard combo to find (at least around here, so far). I think that the advice thing would affect us more than George - I have no doubt that she would know the ''right'' thing to do, it''s just how she was presenting it to us.Unfortunately I didn''t see the primary caregiver interact too much with the kids, as she was spending time with us, answering our questions. Spending more time there during the day is a great idea. I''m going to try to get at least one of us (DH/me) to stop by for a while next week.
I agree that 12/2 sounds awfully high, but no one else here agrees with me! My FIL even said that if they were to hire more caregivers they''d be overstaffing, which was just crazy to me. It''s something like an 8 month old, a 1.5 year old, a 2 year old, a 2.5 year old, and the rest are 3-4.5 year olds - so it''s at least skewed a little bit older. The state assigns points to each kid, like I think newborn-16 months is 4 points, 16-x months is 3, etc, and then there''s also a point-to-caregiver ratio that they need to follow in addition to the max 6 kids per caregiver ratio.
Out of all the places, the kids seemed happiest and most engaged there. Very friendly and curious as well. Well-behaved, but spirited. We met some well-behaved kids elsewhere who seemed a bit too docile. And it was at 5 pm too, and when I talked to my mom she said that she thought it was a miracle that everyone was still happy by 5 pm.
So we spent last night with some family members, who send their daughter to an area preschool that also takes newborns on up and they really like it. I know that some of my FIL''s colleagues also send their kids there, but I couldn''t remember why we ruled them out before visiting (we''ve looked into 50+ at this point and it''s hard to keep track). So I looked at their DSS inspection results last night, and YIKES. They''ve been formally reported for: Leaving a 5 year old on a bus for 45 minutes unattended. Letting some 3-4 year olds leave the building by themselves. They were diapering the babies every 4 hours and mixing up which breastmilk went to which baby. Picking kids up by one arm to carry them. There was an altercation between staff members, witnessed by kids, which ended in the cops being called. WTF.
Re:staffing. Where I live it is 3:1 fir kids under 18months, then 4:1 for kids from 18mo to 3. So our infant room has 3 caregivers and 8 infants, and the toddler room has 3 caregivers and 12 toddlers. How do they manage breaks if it is to tightly staffed?
The ratios are different at home daycares, much like you describe. The place we almost sent HUnter before getting this spot at the ceter was 1 caregiver and 8 kids, about the same ages as you describe.
TravelingGal
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2004
- Messages
- 17,193
Ya.
I didn''t use time out until Amelia was about 20 months I think. After Christmas sometime, so that was January (so maybe even 21 months). At 16 months, I pretty much was a swooper...just swooped in, said no and redirected. And yes, my voice was stern and I didn''t waver.
Really at that point, my main goal was to teach her that when I say no, it ain''t going to happen. Over and over and over and over again. That''s the best thing you can practice pre-2 year old. Keep at it and it will make later life easier, even though you probably feel like my avatar. Sooner or later, they WILL understand that when mom says no, it''s tough nuggies for them. Doesn''t meant they won''t protest or throw a tantrum, but they are much shorter lived, IMHO.
Dreamer_D
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2007
- Messages
- 29,404
This is where we are at. Hunter''s latest trick is the wet noodle, which he pulls out whenever I want him to do something and he does not want to do it. And also the wriggling maniac if I put him in my lap to put his shoes on or something. With the noodle, I just pick him up and carry on, and with the writhing maniac I just hold him in my lap until he is still and then proceed to put his shoes and coat on... or what have you. And I say, "I know you don''t want to, but you still have to put your shoes on" etc. I am hoping he will get the point.
The interesting thing has been when my MIL experiences this stuff. Today when she went to put his shoes on he did the writhing screech and then she said "Oh, well I guess he doesn''t need his shoes right now" and I said, "Oh yes he does!" and picked him up and did the grapple hold until he stopped writhing and sat in my lap whimpering while I put on his shoes
Where do you draw the line though? I don''t want to be too harsh. But then again, it is hardly harsh to ask your son to sit still for 30 seconds while you put on his shoes. He acts like it is the END OF THE WOOOOOOOLD!!
The hard thing to keep in mind is to react to the situation, not their behaviour in the situation. Like, he is screaming like a total banshee crazed animal at nap time. But is he suffering? All he needs to do is lie down. Or sit still for the shoes. Or move out of the room. Yet it is such a dramatic presentation!
Loves2Laugh
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2007
- Messages
- 214
mrs- Thanks for the welcome!
Tgal & Dreamer- Thanks for your input. I like the "swooper" approach you describe. We do that to a degree but not as consistent as we should. Not that we let him get away with things he shouldn't but we spend far too long saying "no, no, no" instead of just picking him up and redirecting him. Dreamer, P is doing the same thing with the wet noodle or arching his back when we go to eat a meal or change his diaper. He just wants to play, play, play! I'm with you as far as not leting him get away with it. I get looks from my IL's at family functions. These are also the same people who think that it's crazy we leave events early to make sure we're home in time for his bedtime so those stares don't phase me much. Their kids stay up until 11pm just so the parents can stay out and then sleep in the morning.
Tgal & Dreamer- Thanks for your input. I like the "swooper" approach you describe. We do that to a degree but not as consistent as we should. Not that we let him get away with things he shouldn't but we spend far too long saying "no, no, no" instead of just picking him up and redirecting him. Dreamer, P is doing the same thing with the wet noodle or arching his back when we go to eat a meal or change his diaper. He just wants to play, play, play! I'm with you as far as not leting him get away with it. I get looks from my IL's at family functions. These are also the same people who think that it's crazy we leave events early to make sure we're home in time for his bedtime so those stares don't phase me much. Their kids stay up until 11pm just so the parents can stay out and then sleep in the morning.
Jas12
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- May 16, 2006
- Messages
- 2,330
Hi gang--i am still reading. I like all the discipline talk and agree, that est. the "no means no'' from mom makes things so much easier. probably the most basic but useful thing to stick with.
Not sure if i mentioned this before but i also use a timer a lot now. Co has problems with transitions from one activity to the next . He''ll start to get crabby when lunch is over because he knows nap is next so i ''ll say to him "5 minutes of play" and set the stove timer and when it beeps he sometimes gives a quick ''nooo'' but often he''ll just start to head upstairs. Works really well for him.
Not sure if i mentioned this before but i also use a timer a lot now. Co has problems with transitions from one activity to the next . He''ll start to get crabby when lunch is over because he knows nap is next so i ''ll say to him "5 minutes of play" and set the stove timer and when it beeps he sometimes gives a quick ''nooo'' but often he''ll just start to head upstairs. Works really well for him.
PenelopeJane
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Sep 24, 2009
- Messages
- 112
DD is older and a lot easier to handle now since she knows the rules and yep, no means no. But damn was it a tough road getting here. She''s always been so strong willed, stubborn, and spirited that I swore we''d never have more children. Like everyone says, consistency is key. Whatever the desired method is you have to stick to it. There are times I catch myself quickly saying no to one of her requests and thinking, "hmmm...I should''ve said yes" and wish I could say to her, "oh nevermind, yes you can do this or that" but I know that would confuse and no means no would turn into "no means maybe" and that''s not what I want.
Jas12, the timer sounds like a great transitioning tool. I will keep that in mind for when Axel gets older.
L2L, there''ve been special occasions here and there where we let the kid stay up late but that is few and far between and usually end up paying for it the next day when the kids are super cranky from messing up the schedule and lack of sleep!
Dreamer, it''s tough but battles have to be picked. Is he putting up a fight every single time his shoes are put on? If it isn''t an inconvenience for you, do you think putting his shoes on after he''s in the car seat would help? I have the opposite problem. Axel will hand me his shoes when he wants to go outside and if I tell him no, that it''s not time to, he''ll whine and sprawl out onto his belly and then roll around on the floor.
Jas12, the timer sounds like a great transitioning tool. I will keep that in mind for when Axel gets older.
L2L, there''ve been special occasions here and there where we let the kid stay up late but that is few and far between and usually end up paying for it the next day when the kids are super cranky from messing up the schedule and lack of sleep!
Dreamer, it''s tough but battles have to be picked. Is he putting up a fight every single time his shoes are put on? If it isn''t an inconvenience for you, do you think putting his shoes on after he''s in the car seat would help? I have the opposite problem. Axel will hand me his shoes when he wants to go outside and if I tell him no, that it''s not time to, he''ll whine and sprawl out onto his belly and then roll around on the floor.
Burk
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- May 9, 2006
- Messages
- 4,096
This whole 2.0 thing is annoying!! School is out Thursday so I''m trying to get organized so I don''t have much time anyway, but didn''t want to post and lose it.
L2L~
Penelope~Welcome!! You have 2 cuties!!
Blen~Have you made a decision about daycare? I would maybe try it and then keep looking if you''re still not feeling 100% This is actually what we did with Tayva''s current daycare. We were in a hurry because our in-home provider moved unexpectedly so we went with it without really getting to scope it out as much as we''d have liked and figured we could keep looking and move her to another daycare. That didn''t happen because we absolutely love her daycare and feel so lucky to have her there. So, you never now. I sometimes think it''s hard to trust your gut when it comes to someone taking care of your kid because your gut is always saying "but it''s not YOU."
Hello to everyone else!!!
L2L~
Penelope~Welcome!! You have 2 cuties!!
Blen~Have you made a decision about daycare? I would maybe try it and then keep looking if you''re still not feeling 100% This is actually what we did with Tayva''s current daycare. We were in a hurry because our in-home provider moved unexpectedly so we went with it without really getting to scope it out as much as we''d have liked and figured we could keep looking and move her to another daycare. That didn''t happen because we absolutely love her daycare and feel so lucky to have her there. So, you never now. I sometimes think it''s hard to trust your gut when it comes to someone taking care of your kid because your gut is always saying "but it''s not YOU."
Hello to everyone else!!!
qtiekiki
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2004
- Messages
- 3,880
Burk
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- May 9, 2006
- Messages
- 4,096
lili
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Nov 18, 2004
- Messages
- 3,470
PenelopeJane--
Welcome and happy to see your adorable kids on here.
Your daughter looks very mature for a 5-yr.
And Axel is such a happy boy.
Blenheim--
Good luck w/ the daycare.
That in-home daycare sounds like a dream.
Burk--
Saw the pool pictures of you and the kids.
I just gotta say, you look great!
Where are those baby weights that you''ve been complaining about?
QT--
Bummer about the lack of PS time
I remember those pumping days well and I''ll say that I didn''t miss them one bit.
Shortened hours? Are you working part-time like Burk asked?
Jas12--
Hehe...Co is too funny about getting back on your good side.
Tacori--
Hope the first week of school went well.
Hope everyone is doing well.
Welcome and happy to see your adorable kids on here.
Your daughter looks very mature for a 5-yr.
And Axel is such a happy boy.
Blenheim--
Good luck w/ the daycare.
That in-home daycare sounds like a dream.
Burk--
Saw the pool pictures of you and the kids.
I just gotta say, you look great!
Where are those baby weights that you''ve been complaining about?
QT--
Bummer about the lack of PS time
I remember those pumping days well and I''ll say that I didn''t miss them one bit.
Shortened hours? Are you working part-time like Burk asked?
Jas12--
Hehe...Co is too funny about getting back on your good side.
Tacori--
Hope the first week of school went well.
Hope everyone is doing well.
Blenheim
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2006
- Messages
- 3,136
We put the deposit down to hold G''s spot at that one daycare today, and he''s going to start next Monday. I think I may keep my eyes open as to other options and take a little time off of work to stop by and observe everything in action, and just go from there.
So FIL, the guy who is married to mocha-offering-lady, tried to give G scotch after dinner tonight. I''m not sure how DH made it to adulthood alive and healthy. (Although perhaps this explains a few things?
)
I took G to the pool for the first time on Sunday. I think he really enjoyed it! He''s learning so fast these days. He climbed out of the baby pool by himself and then wanted to get back in, and I told him that there was a drop off and so he needed to go down bottom-first, and he listened to me. He has selective hearing though - if I tell him not to run away from me screaming in public, he just runs faster. And then throws a tantrum and goes completely limp when I go to swoop him up.
Burk - thanks, it''s great to hear how it worked out for you! My gut has ruled out at least 50 other options and thinks that this one may work, so I''ll agree with you on the "but it''s not meeeee" bit. Good luck getting organized!
L2L - welcome back!
So FIL, the guy who is married to mocha-offering-lady, tried to give G scotch after dinner tonight. I''m not sure how DH made it to adulthood alive and healthy. (Although perhaps this explains a few things?
I took G to the pool for the first time on Sunday. I think he really enjoyed it! He''s learning so fast these days. He climbed out of the baby pool by himself and then wanted to get back in, and I told him that there was a drop off and so he needed to go down bottom-first, and he listened to me. He has selective hearing though - if I tell him not to run away from me screaming in public, he just runs faster. And then throws a tantrum and goes completely limp when I go to swoop him up.
Burk - thanks, it''s great to hear how it worked out for you! My gut has ruled out at least 50 other options and thinks that this one may work, so I''ll agree with you on the "but it''s not meeeee" bit. Good luck getting organized!
L2L - welcome back!
PenelopeJane
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Sep 24, 2009
- Messages
- 112
Is anyone getting 2.0? Everything looks the same for me. Wonder if I missed the change.
Thanks Burk! Yay for summer! I bet Thursday can''t get here fast enough.
lili, thank you!! Some people say she looks older and is more mature and some say she looks young...and when I look at her I see a little woman! Esp when she''s playing alongside Axel...she used to be my baby.
Blen, glad you decided on a daycare. scotch
I freak out when MIL wants to offer Axel her diet coke. George sounds so cute crawling down bottom first.
This weekend is going to be busyyy. Friday is the last day of school, bounce house, pizza party, ice cream etc. Then Friday night is the ceremony. Not sure what all goes on during a prek graduation, but I know the kids are singing songs they''ve been practicing all year and a reception follows. DH is the oldest and has 3 younger sisters. Middle sister and her hubby are flying in from NY on Sat. The eldest sister''s birthday dinner is Sat night and going out after. Haven''t been out like this in a loooong time so I''m excited. Gotta find DH''s party pants and dust them off hehe. Then Sunday afternoon going to a HS graduation party of a family friend but that''ll be nice and relaxing on the lake and pool, good food, etc.
Thanks Burk! Yay for summer! I bet Thursday can''t get here fast enough.
lili, thank you!! Some people say she looks older and is more mature and some say she looks young...and when I look at her I see a little woman! Esp when she''s playing alongside Axel...she used to be my baby.
Blen, glad you decided on a daycare. scotch
This weekend is going to be busyyy. Friday is the last day of school, bounce house, pizza party, ice cream etc. Then Friday night is the ceremony. Not sure what all goes on during a prek graduation, but I know the kids are singing songs they''ve been practicing all year and a reception follows. DH is the oldest and has 3 younger sisters. Middle sister and her hubby are flying in from NY on Sat. The eldest sister''s birthday dinner is Sat night and going out after. Haven''t been out like this in a loooong time so I''m excited. Gotta find DH''s party pants and dust them off hehe. Then Sunday afternoon going to a HS graduation party of a family friend but that''ll be nice and relaxing on the lake and pool, good food, etc.
Loves2Laugh
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2007
- Messages
- 214
HI Burk & Blen!
Thanks for the welcome.
Blen-
about the Scotch! I swear, what are some people thinking? Glad you made a choice about daycare that you''re comfortable with. I worked at a daycare when I was in HS and I think the best thing you can do is stop by unannounced. Back when we were getting pretty flustered with MIL watching P we started to look into daycare. That was one of the first things I always would tell them that either I would be stopping by or spending an afternoon helping out- both unannounced. Glad to hear G loved the pool! I can''t wait to get a baby pool for P. Last summer he loved the big pool. Isn''t it great that they actually understand SOME of the things we say? Selectively I think sometimes!
Burk- I bet you''re going to be thrilled once school is out!
Penelope- Sounds like a busy but FUN weekend! Enjoy!
Blen-
Burk- I bet you''re going to be thrilled once school is out!
Penelope- Sounds like a busy but FUN weekend! Enjoy!
qtiekiki
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2004
- Messages
- 3,880
Burk
No, not part time. Just have a furlough day, but they make us take an hour each day instead of letting us actually take a full day off. And that hour really does make a difference.
How are things with you? The kids? The house?
Lili
Like I said to Burk, just one less hour of work a day. I don''t know what it is, but pumping feels like such a drag this time around.
What''s Jadie up to nowaday?
PJ
You have gorgeous kids. Your DD does look like mature.
Blen
Hope the daycare works out for you.
Yikes on the scotch offering.
Hi to everyone else.
I don''t know what''s going on but Jaron refused to nurse last night. He didn''t has any BM from 3:30pm to 3:30am. He just cried his head off when I offered the breast. Hopefully he isn''t like that today. He rolled belly to back twice on Sunday, but hadn''t since. He gets onto his side from his back.
M is drooling and constantly putting her fingers in her mouth. I felt her gum, and I think she is getting the second set of molars. I asked her if it hurts, and she said yea.
No, not part time. Just have a furlough day, but they make us take an hour each day instead of letting us actually take a full day off. And that hour really does make a difference.
How are things with you? The kids? The house?
Lili
Like I said to Burk, just one less hour of work a day. I don''t know what it is, but pumping feels like such a drag this time around.
What''s Jadie up to nowaday?
PJ
You have gorgeous kids. Your DD does look like mature.
Blen
Hope the daycare works out for you.
Yikes on the scotch offering.
Hi to everyone else.
I don''t know what''s going on but Jaron refused to nurse last night. He didn''t has any BM from 3:30pm to 3:30am. He just cried his head off when I offered the breast. Hopefully he isn''t like that today. He rolled belly to back twice on Sunday, but hadn''t since. He gets onto his side from his back.
M is drooling and constantly putting her fingers in her mouth. I felt her gum, and I think she is getting the second set of molars. I asked her if it hurts, and she said yea.
puffy
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2006
- Messages
- 1,567
hi mommies....
i am super behind. we have been so busy...packing with 2 mobile kids is NOT easy!! we''re finally going to move into our new house soon so the early packing has started and i just didn''t realize how much stuff we have.
B''s doing really well. he got into the preschool!!! i am so relieved that he''s going to be going somewhere this year and i know i''ll enjoy the time with just N. and N has started to army crawl...it''s exhausting. so when the kids nap, i am usually napping also or packing. sucks, but hopefully we''ll be done soon.
hope everyone is doing well!!!
i am super behind. we have been so busy...packing with 2 mobile kids is NOT easy!! we''re finally going to move into our new house soon so the early packing has started and i just didn''t realize how much stuff we have.
B''s doing really well. he got into the preschool!!! i am so relieved that he''s going to be going somewhere this year and i know i''ll enjoy the time with just N. and N has started to army crawl...it''s exhausting. so when the kids nap, i am usually napping also or packing. sucks, but hopefully we''ll be done soon.
hope everyone is doing well!!!
Blenheim
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2006
- Messages
- 3,136
George had an appointment with a new pediatric ophthamologist today, as his eye has started wandering again (and we''ve switched insurance and the old doctor doesn''t take the new insurance). The doctor wants us to start patching again. The old doctor would never give us a more definite prognosis than telling us that we just had to wait and see how he responds to it, but the new guy says that in his experience G evidently has about an 80% chance of needing surgery.
It''s evidently a very quick simple surgery but would require general anesthesia. But for now we''re just patching, and following up in another 6-8 weeks. Please keep your fingers crossed that the patching does its trick this time around!!
TGAL - thank you for starting that one thread about your friend''s child''s eyes. Even though it ended up being nothing for him, I did read it and some of the comments led us to take the whole eye thing so seriously when we started noticing it with George.
Scotch - evidently he decided to do it as a test to see who would notice and stop him first, me or MIL.
PenelopeJane - your weekend sounds super busy! I hope you enjoy it.
Q - I hope that Jaron and Mina both start feeling better. Is Jaron''s name pronounced JARE-on or JAH-ron or Jah-RON (or something else), by the way?
Puffy- good luck with all the packing. That''s gotta be hectic.
TGAL - thank you for starting that one thread about your friend''s child''s eyes. Even though it ended up being nothing for him, I did read it and some of the comments led us to take the whole eye thing so seriously when we started noticing it with George.
Scotch - evidently he decided to do it as a test to see who would notice and stop him first, me or MIL.
PenelopeJane - your weekend sounds super busy! I hope you enjoy it.
Q - I hope that Jaron and Mina both start feeling better. Is Jaron''s name pronounced JARE-on or JAH-ron or Jah-RON (or something else), by the way?
Puffy- good luck with all the packing. That''s gotta be hectic.
PenelopeJane
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Sep 24, 2009
- Messages
- 112
Oh Blen, fingers crossed for the patch. Thinking of you guys!
QT, thank you so much!! Yay for rolling! Hope J got back on schedule and is nursing well again. Those molars are a pain aren''t they? I know I''m extremely crabby when I have gum/teeth issues and hate when the little ones are having discomfort from the same thing. Makes me so sad.
Puffy, packing with 2 kids...I don''t envy you hehe. Congrats on getting into preschool!! How exciting. I love my alone time with A when Penelope''s at school. Granted, it''s only for about 1 hour since he naps for 2 hours while she''s in school, but when she goes to Kindergarten he''ll probably be on a 1-nap schedule then and it''ll be really fun. Good luck on the move!
Axel has been sooooooo crabby and clingy for the past few days. Runs up to me, looks up, and puts both hands on either side of his face (think Macaulay Culkin from Home Alone) and screams...kinda cute, but not!
QT, thank you so much!! Yay for rolling! Hope J got back on schedule and is nursing well again. Those molars are a pain aren''t they? I know I''m extremely crabby when I have gum/teeth issues and hate when the little ones are having discomfort from the same thing. Makes me so sad.
Puffy, packing with 2 kids...I don''t envy you hehe. Congrats on getting into preschool!! How exciting. I love my alone time with A when Penelope''s at school. Granted, it''s only for about 1 hour since he naps for 2 hours while she''s in school, but when she goes to Kindergarten he''ll probably be on a 1-nap schedule then and it''ll be really fun. Good luck on the move!
Axel has been sooooooo crabby and clingy for the past few days. Runs up to me, looks up, and puts both hands on either side of his face (think Macaulay Culkin from Home Alone) and screams...kinda cute, but not!
Burk
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- May 9, 2006
- Messages
- 4,096
lili~Thanks! You couldn''t see my stomach in the pics...that''s where all the weight is.
How is Miss J?
Blen~Hope the daycare works out! Keep us posted. Hope the patching helps! Thinking of G!!
Penelope~You have a busy weekend ahead of you! Sounds like fun!
L2L~So excited for summer! How is the discipline going?
QT~Ahhh, makes sense now! Hope J is back to nursing again. K went on a nursing strike a couple weeks back so I''ve just been nursing at night and pumping/bottle feeding during the day. Way easier than messing with his tantrums and OUCH it hurts when he flails his head about while still latched on! House is coming along great. Basement will be finished in the next week or so and we''ve got stuff on the walls so it''s really coming along. Thanks for asking.
puffy~Yay for B getting into preschool! Good luck packing. NO fun, I can totally relate. When are you moving? You''re hiring movers, right?
Blen~Hope the daycare works out! Keep us posted. Hope the patching helps! Thinking of G!!
Penelope~You have a busy weekend ahead of you! Sounds like fun!
L2L~So excited for summer! How is the discipline going?
QT~Ahhh, makes sense now! Hope J is back to nursing again. K went on a nursing strike a couple weeks back so I''ve just been nursing at night and pumping/bottle feeding during the day. Way easier than messing with his tantrums and OUCH it hurts when he flails his head about while still latched on! House is coming along great. Basement will be finished in the next week or so and we''ve got stuff on the walls so it''s really coming along. Thanks for asking.
puffy~Yay for B getting into preschool! Good luck packing. NO fun, I can totally relate. When are you moving? You''re hiring movers, right?
qtiekiki
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2004
- Messages
- 3,880
Puffy
Good luck with the move.
Yay for B in preschool and getting some one on one time with N.
Blen
We pronounce it JARE-on. Alternate pronounciation is Ja-ruhn like Aaron.
Fingers crossed that patching works. Do you like that the new ophthamologist is more definite with his diagnosis?
PJ
Thanks. J is back to nursing. No idea what happened that day.
M actually isn''t that cranky with teething, just putting her fingers in her mouth constantly and drools everywhere.
So cute that Axel does the "home alone" face.
Burk
Sounds like the house is really coming along. Yay!!!
Enjoy your summer withthe kids.
Yeah J is getting bottles during the day anyways, so it''s not like he isn''t getting any food. I was like fine, nurse when you are ready. DH was much more worried, and was telling me to give him a bottle. But he was fine the next day, so not sure what it was with that day.
Good luck with the move.
Yay for B in preschool and getting some one on one time with N.
Blen
We pronounce it JARE-on. Alternate pronounciation is Ja-ruhn like Aaron.
Fingers crossed that patching works. Do you like that the new ophthamologist is more definite with his diagnosis?
PJ
Thanks. J is back to nursing. No idea what happened that day.
M actually isn''t that cranky with teething, just putting her fingers in her mouth constantly and drools everywhere.
So cute that Axel does the "home alone" face.
Burk
Sounds like the house is really coming along. Yay!!!
Enjoy your summer withthe kids.
Yeah J is getting bottles during the day anyways, so it''s not like he isn''t getting any food. I was like fine, nurse when you are ready. DH was much more worried, and was telling me to give him a bottle. But he was fine the next day, so not sure what it was with that day.
lili
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Nov 18, 2004
- Messages
- 3,470
Blenheim--
LOL....selective hearing is right!
I hope the patch will do the trick and G doesn''t need surgery for his eye.
L2L--
long time no "see".
Penelope--
Wow...sounds like you''ve got a pretty packed weekend.
Hehe...your girl must be pretty tall too if she looks like a little woman playing alongside Axel since Axel looks like a big boy himself.
Cute water painting in your avi;P (done by your daugther I take it?)
QT--
Awww...poor M.
I think J is working on her second set of molars too.
Always shoving her fingers and fists into her mouth for the last month or so.
But I don''t see anything coming out though.
Glad to hear that J is back to himself.
Maybe a little constipated or gassy?
J is up to her little mischievous self ^.^
Getting brattier by the day -- testing her boundaries and pushing her limits.
Everything is a negotiation w/ her these days. One show, one computer, one book, one game before she does anything
And lots of crocodile tears when she didn''t get her ways.
Bummer about the shorten hour.
I''d rather much preferred the furlong day instead of the hour, at least that way you don''t have to make the commute.
Burk--
Glad to hear that the house is coming along nicely.
Will you be able to move in by summer time?
Don''t blame me if I don''t believe you when you say that you are hiding the baby weight in your belly.
The swimsuit covers alot, but it ain''t that concealing
How is MsT doing these days?
LOL....selective hearing is right!
I hope the patch will do the trick and G doesn''t need surgery for his eye.
L2L--
Penelope--
Wow...sounds like you''ve got a pretty packed weekend.
Hehe...your girl must be pretty tall too if she looks like a little woman playing alongside Axel since Axel looks like a big boy himself.
Cute water painting in your avi;P (done by your daugther I take it?)
QT--
Awww...poor M.
I think J is working on her second set of molars too.
Always shoving her fingers and fists into her mouth for the last month or so.
But I don''t see anything coming out though.
Glad to hear that J is back to himself.
Maybe a little constipated or gassy?
J is up to her little mischievous self ^.^
Getting brattier by the day -- testing her boundaries and pushing her limits.
Everything is a negotiation w/ her these days. One show, one computer, one book, one game before she does anything
And lots of crocodile tears when she didn''t get her ways.
Bummer about the shorten hour.
I''d rather much preferred the furlong day instead of the hour, at least that way you don''t have to make the commute.
Burk--
Glad to hear that the house is coming along nicely.
Will you be able to move in by summer time?
Don''t blame me if I don''t believe you when you say that you are hiding the baby weight in your belly.
The swimsuit covers alot, but it ain''t that concealing
How is MsT doing these days?
- Status
How Are Diamonds Made? Natural vs Lab-Created Explained
How Are Diamonds Made? Natural vs Lab-Created Explained - 08/05
Top Wedding Ring Brands for Every Style and Budget
Top Wedding Ring Brands for Every Style and Budget - 08/05
Where to Buy Lab Grown Diamonds: Best Places Compared
Where to Buy Lab Grown Diamonds: Best Places Compared - 08/05
300x240.png)