PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[Hudson_Hawk]

noel, what drops are you giving her? Diphenhydramine?

 

[noelwr]

HH - the drops contains dimetindine which is an antihistamine. DH took the executive decision that we're not going to use the drops as it isn't worth having our baby go to sleep and never waking up.

 

[random_thought]

Nothing too exciting to add, but Cayden turns 1 month old today! I hope everyone is doing good!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Oooooh RT, he's so stinkin cute! I need to stalk your baby pictures.

I just have to vent for a minute.... I could seriously castrate my husband this morning. Last night, before bed I went to pick up my book which fell off the bed. You know, I did the half in half out thing to reach down to the floor. Well I turned weird and effed up my back/neck in a MAJOR way. It's the worst pain I've ever felt, worse than breaking a bone and I have little mobility in my neck and upper back at the moment. I can't pick up Aidan or extend my arms much further than an inch. I was barely able to drive t work this morning (and probably shouldn't have). Needless to say I slept like CRAP and was up at about 4:30 because I couldn't get comfortable/was in pain. So I get up, attempt to shower (that was fun, let me tell you), and somehow manage to get Aidan out of the crib and dressed for the day. Then I walk the dog after getting myself dressed. All while DH is getting dressed. So I'm sitting on the couch trying to get a handle on the pain when he comes down with Aidan. Because A got him dressed and handled most of the morning chores, etc, DH had extra time before he had to leave so he decided he was going to mess around with his nook, leaving me to make a bottle, feed and entertain Aidan while in major pain. Then he had the balls to get huffy when I realized I had forgotten to give A his medicine, and asked him to go and get it. At this point I was livid and had to leave the house. Of course he's now pissed because I'm pissed. Well not really pissed, just in pain and in a really bad mood because I slept terribly. Yet I'm the bad guy because I'm not "helping him out" enough this morning. UGH! Why are normally nice men such jerkwads at the worst moments?

Luckily I was able to get an appointment to see my doc this morning. I'm really not sure what's going on with my back. It doesn't feel like any back pain I've ever had before. I'd say it feels more tendon/ligament/disc related than muscle related, though now everything from the middle of my back up to the base of my skull and across my left shoulder is spasming. I think I'm going to go home and go to bed after my appointment.

 

[Lanie]

HH -- I had something similar but in my neck about 5 years ago. I remember having to call in sick to work with "neck pains" and feeling like a total loser. Ha! The doc gave me a muscle relaxer (maybe even a shot? I can't remember), and it was better, but it took several days for it to feel normal. Maybe even a week. That totally sucks. I ended up going to a chiropractor after that, which I was hesitant to do since they have kind of a hokey reputation (no offense to anyone I hope), but it totally helped me out. Hope you feel better. Sorry about your DH.

RT -- he's so leeeeeetle! How cute!

 

[AllieLuv83]

HH let me fill you in on my jerkwad husband story. I have literally been feeling like Death warmed over the last 3 days. I finally went to the doctor yesterday after dropping C off at daycare. C has just started cutting his first tooth so last night he was up like 6 times no joke. The first time he woke up he was SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER. Which he never does. All the while DH is sleeping on the couch. I go in to try to comfort him, he is screaming because the milk isn't flowing as fast as he would like. I have been producing much less because I have been sick. DH pokes his head in and then walks off to bed without a word. The baby continues to scream. I put him down in the crib and walk over to the bedroom and ask for help with the baby and Paul has the BALLS to mock me and say that I do not need to give him an attitude. Well by wakeup #3 I brought the baby into bed, between congestion, coughing, the baby trying to nurse on me every hour I got very little sleep. I over slept until about 6:30, then jumped in the shower. DH picked up the baby from his crib, he couldn't change his diaper or get him dressed but he did manage to make himself toaster strudel and sit around watching TV. While I rushed around dressing him, changing him, feeding him breakfast, nursing him, then packing his bottles, packing my pump parts and lunch, all the while Charlie is screaming again. Needless to say I was late to work AGAIN, because I also had to stop in to get air in my flat tire. The icing on the cake was spilling my almost full cup of coffee all over my upholstery in the car.!

 

[random_thought]

hh- that sounds like how I feel every day when I wake up and ask dh to grab a bottle! Which at this point is around 4pm... Oi! Well what I'm trying to say is...I know the feeling lol

 

[split_shank]

Mostly lurk now, but have a pressing question that is of topic lately..

For those ladies who have successfully de-swaddled, what tips got you through it? What did you use for blankets/covers? Did you even try to keep them in one place or have they just slept where they eventually 'land'?

 

[noelwr]

I've learned that you really have to spell it out for men as they are very bad at picking up hints or your stressed vibe. so rather than let it escalate, just say (in preferably a non-irritated voice) "Honey, I'm busy doing XYZ and I'm running late, so could you really help me out by giving the baby the bottle?" instead of waiting for him to do it on his own. we are very independent and organized women, so usually they think we have it under control and don't want to interfere. we need to let them know this isn't always the case.

rt - Cayden's so sweet. how have you experienced your first month as a mother?

 

[Lanie]

split_shank -- how old is your baby? I wish I would have deswaddled much sooner. Since I've done it, Anderson hasn't woken up in the middle of the night AT ALL. Not even a peep. I think he was fighting to get out of it and it was waking him up. Now every time I check on him before I go to bed or wake him up, he's on his stomach! Go figure.

Anyway, I started trying to deswaddle at like 4 months I think? I would swaddle everything but an arm, but that was always a bust. Then he started breaking his arms free, then I just went cold turkey at 5 months, and now I've packed my swaddles away. I put him in a sleeping gown with socks or in footed PJ's and he seems okay. No blankets. Just one of those teddy bear blanket things that he likes to hold. And he travels when he sleeps. He'll be completely turned around the other way when I go in to get him. Once you unswaddle, you can't really control anything they do.

Some people like those sleep sacks, but I never tried one.

 

[somethingshiny]

DH was similar to the stories here in the early months with JT. I figured out I had to list exactly what I needed and why. He did come around and with baby #2, I usually don't even have to ask. It takes men a lot longer than women to fall into parenting. In general, men put themselves first. Women usually don't so it's easy when baby comes along for baby to go into first and DH in second. Also, moms have a hard time letting dads do stuff because it's not the "right" way. Unless you want a lifetime of taking care of everything, you need to step back and know that even if it's not Your way, it's not wrong. (this statement isn't directed at anyone, just what I had to learn for myself.) First year with a baby is the hardest in a marriage. Communication is key! That and a lot of forgiveness.

Lily pulled up on the table yesterday only to give herself a bloody nose and she fell into it. Yay. Another A+ parenting moment! Sometimes I wonder why I was allowed to have kids.

 

[Graff_Pink]

In response to HH and Allie, I'm just wondering if the men time it? I've been having all sorts of baby/husband related issues in my own home - all surrounding lack of assistance from husband with Ben. I think the thing that frustrates me the most - and has been the continuing source of frustration since we had Ben - is that I need to ask for help at all. Why can't my husband help me because it's not only the kind thing to do, but often times the obvious solution to a problem?! If Ben is crying and I'm in the bathroom, why knock on the door to tell me he's crying? If I'm in the kitchen cooking dinner and Ben drops his binky and starts to fuss, why not give him back the binky (rinse first, please!) instead of pointing it out to me when you can see my hands are full and I'm juggling 100 different things? I just don't get it. And then when I get huffy because of these examples, he gets huffy with the retort "Why don't you just ASK me to do ____________ instead of getting annoyed?" I don't understand why I have to ASK for assistance with obvious things. Ugh!

Sorry to jump-in and vent, just having a horrible-hubby morning. Like HH said, he's normally wonderful, but when he decides to be a PIA, it almost seems like it's his mission in life. Ha!

P.S. - Hope your back feels better, HH - sounds like you are in a terrible state, poor thing.

 

[AllieLuv83]

I think for us it comes down to the fact that we are both stressed from work, and a lot of time I feel overwhelmed with the number of things I need to do in the morning, and I certainly could do them at night as well so I am not totally w/o blame. It is a vicious cycle of stress, yell at DH, him yell at me, give each other attitude, get more stressed etc. I totally think it is a man thing to need things spelled out. We drafted a CHORE list and assigned tasks to ourselves.

 

[split_shank]

Lanie, my baby is (insert gasp here) 6 1/2 months. I have tried on several occasions in the last 2-3 months to deswaddle and have had no luck. The last time about a month ago I gave up after a 5 days stint with each day getting worse instead of better. The difference the last few nights is that he breaks out, which has happened before but he still stayed put, but now is rolling and messing around. He can't figure out how to settle himself down, which is one big snowball effect of him being in the swaddle for so long, I have no doubt. But in my defense, he hasn't minded the swaddle, did not fight out of it up until a few days ago and was out like a light in a matter of minutes after being in it. Even being able to roll for months, he never tried when swaddled. Now he breaks out and rolls like a mad man. I am totally ready to get him out of it when he was ready, which he clearly is now, but I just was hoping to get some tips to make it a little easier on both of us, since last time was a bust, no pun intended. I'm afraid the damage has been done with him being in it so long.

 

[tiffanytwisted]

Mostly lurk now, but have a pressing question that is of topic lately..

For those ladies who have successfully de-swaddled, what tips got you through it? What did you use for blankets/covers? Did you even try to keep them in one place or have they just slept where they eventually 'land'?

I just deswaddled starting last weekend, the boys (now 13 weeks) were sleeping in the swaddle me, but they have started rolling onto their sides and that made me nervous. They also fight to get out of it and on one occasion we found the swaddle part wrapped around their necks. Now they sleep in a gown with the halo sleep sack over it. I don't really have any tips because we just did it cold turkey, the first night they woke up a lot but now they are pretty much back to their regular sleep schedule (about 6 hours straight at night).
I put them to sleep in the middle of their crib on their backs, I usually find them turned around in the opposite direction and sleeping on their sides.

 

[Lanie]

Split--don't beat yourself up! I hope you didn't think I meant anything by asking how old your baby is. Like I said before, my friend swaddled until like 7.5 months, mostly for your same reasons you gave. She stopped cold turkey as well. I would try the sleep sack then, bc they are still contained but with some freedom. What you could also do is wrap him in a tight blanket that he stays in long enough to get to sleep, then eventually he rolls out of it. But just be careful of the blanket being loose in there. HTH and good luck!!!

 

[AllieLuv83]

We de-swaddled around 5 months, about the same time as he started to roll from back to tummy. We went 1 arm out, then into a sleep sack, and finally just a blanket.

 

[taovandel]

We deswaddled around 4 months I think with Evan. We did cold turkey basically and it was fine for us...We switched from swaddles to the sleep sacks so that might have helped and we also never swaddled at nap times.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

HH let me fill you in on my jerkwad husband story. I have literally been feeling like Death warmed over the last 3 days. I finally went to the doctor yesterday after dropping C off at daycare. C has just started cutting his first tooth so last night he was up like 6 times no joke. The first time he woke up he was SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER. Which he never does. All the while DH is sleeping on the couch. I go in to try to comfort him, he is screaming because the milk isn't flowing as fast as he would like. I have been producing much less because I have been sick. DH pokes his head in and then walks off to bed without a word. The baby continues to scream. I put him down in the crib and walk over to the bedroom and ask for help with the baby and Paul has the BALLS to mock me and say that I do not need to give him an attitude. Well by wakeup #3 I brought the baby into bed, between congestion, coughing, the baby trying to nurse on me every hour I got very little sleep. I over slept until about 6:30, then jumped in the shower. DH picked up the baby from his crib, he couldn't change his diaper or get him dressed but he did manage to make himself toaster strudel and sit around watching TV. While I rushed around dressing him, changing him, feeding him breakfast, nursing him, then packing his bottles, packing my pump parts and lunch, all the while Charlie is screaming again. Needless to say I was late to work AGAIN, because I also had to stop in to get air in my flat tire. The icing on the cake was spilling my almost full cup of coffee all over my upholstery in the car.!

OMG that makes me stabby! I'm so pissed for you Allie!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

we started doing a half swaddle where we just did his arms, I'd swaddle him and rock him until he fell asleep and then I'd remove the swaddle and put him on his tummy in the crib or he'd break out of the swaddle on his own. Eventually he stopped wanting to be rocked to sleep (probably around 5 mo) and we'd just put him in the crib awake without the swaddle.

 

[random_thought]

noel- it's been interesting to say the least...it doesn't feel like things have changed between dh and I; it's more like we just have a more hectic lifestyle now! I still don't completely feel like a mommy yet but I know that will come with time. The only real difficulty is that sometimes Cayden will start gagging when I try to feed him and I don't really know how to help feed him better Dh is getting a little frustrated too and I wish I had some tips to give him but I'm at a complete loss! We always completely forget our frustrations when it is time for cuddles though

 

[AllieLuv83]

HH I totally wasn't trying to be a One Upper, just sharing in the assh*llness that men can morph into at any given second. I don't know if I mentioned but I drafted a chore list. Old school roommate style

 

[Puppmom]

DH is usually pretty good and sees taking care of N as his responsibility more than helping me but this is a common conversation we have when I'm trying to do a million things at once and DH is out to lunch. After waiting for him to notice that I need help, I finally cave and ask...probably with a little attitude.

Me: "DH, can you do so and so?"
DH: "Well, what are YOU going to do?"
Me: "Nothing!"

 

[noelwr]

well, my DH gets the choice of either taking care of the baby or the household chores, and he always opts for baby. I love that he gets Skye ready for bed at night with her last bottle and all, so that I can clean up the kitchen, hang up the laundry and make some tea. this would have been difficult for me a couple of months back because like shiny said, I like everything done in a particular way and sometimes I think it's just better if I do it myself. luckily I have learned to let that go.

rt - frustration is definitely the name of the game. when you suddenly have a rhythm and something figured out, your baby will decide to change his routine or suddenly move on to the next milestone.

split - my little girl still sleeps swaddled at 6 months, gets an arm out AND rolls over in it... and fusses but usually falls back asleep on her tummy. we are going to try to deswaddle this weekend. I wish us both luck! her swaddle is actually attached to a sleep sack, so she'll use that instead of a blanket.

 

[taovandel]

Bad husband stories!! I love them!

The day we got home from the hospital with Violet I went to take a shower (I didn't shower at the hospital). When I got out (5-10 minute shower tops) my husband said he was going to take a shower also...I told him it was out of hot water (we are renting and had to wait for maintenance to come fix the water heater..so at the time we had barely any hot water). His response..."I thought you would be more considerate." and then he stomped off.

Seriously! I just pushed out a baby and have been bleeding and have had random people poking and proding me every hour and I wanted to take a 10 minute shower...I'm such a b*tch, right!

Anyways, he did apologize but gosh!


Violet is doing well so far...had her 2 month appointment---10lbs, 22.5 inches. I love her to pieces!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

noel- it's been interesting to say the least...it doesn't feel like things have changed between dh and I; it's more like we just have a more hectic lifestyle now! I still don't completely feel like a mommy yet but I know that will come with time. The only real difficulty is that sometimes Cayden will start gagging when I try to feed him and I don't really know how to help feed him better Dh is getting a little frustrated too and I wish I had some tips to give him but I'm at a complete loss! We always completely forget our frustrations when it is time for cuddles though

RT, are you breast feeding or bottle feeding? If LO is gagging then there's likely a flow issue. If you're bottle feeding, try and find a preemie flow nipple to use. They're slower than even level 1s, which is what newborns should use. It's ok that C isn't a preemie. Dr. Brown makes them. The slow flow helped Aidan a LOT!

 

[AllieLuv83]

We had some gagging issues as well. I think it was a combination of too fast of flow with the medela and the playtex nipples (even the slow flow), and the size of the nipples as well. We started using Dr. Brown slow flow and that was godsend. We didn't use bottles too often at first. When he turned 3 months we switched to level 2 nipples and he transitioned very well.

 

[somethingshiny]

I have Baby T today, along with my two kids, and 4 more have decided to come for the day. I don't really mind as long as they listen, but I seriously don't get why these parents (whom I've never met) let their kids come over here for hours. It's not like JT has the best toys on the block even. He's 5. One of the boys who's here is 5, there's a 9 yr old girl, and then another boy and girl that have to be at least 9 or 10. Obviously, JT's 5 yr old boy toys are not the end all and be all for kids of that age.

So, Baby T got here at 6:30 and had succeeded in needing a bath by 8. I have no idea who he urped up so much! He is sleeping a lot today too so I'm afraid he may be coming down with something. Although, maybe he's finally feeling comfortable away from Mama and he's trying to catch up on some rest.

Gotta go for now. I'll try to catch up more later. Have a wonderful day, all!

 

[noelwr]

taovandel - love your husband story! I hope you can laugh at it now. hope you don't mind, but it did make me giggle.

 

[tiffanytwisted]

ss- Wow that's a lot of kids, do their parents know where they are? Hope Baby T doesn't get sick!

I haven't really had gagging issues and we use the Level 1 Dr. Brown. Although sometimes they suck and then fall asleep and forget to swallow. For those of you who pumped and breastfed, did you move up to level 2 or just stick with level 1? I don't think the boys are ready to move up yet but when they are ready I'm afraid they'll get used to the faster flow from the bottle and get mad at the breast- I already have supply issues that sometimes frustrate them. I don't want them to refuse it completely.

My babies are 3 months old today! Where has the time gone?