PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[KimberlyH]

Mt, hope you're feeling better.

Lanie, I totally understand your desire to plan, so I'd place a basket with diaper changing stuff in each location and then get rid of one if you don't end up needing it. It was nice to have my husband get up with me in the beginning, but now he doesn't unless she cries differently than normal. He can't feed her so there's no need for both of us to be up.

Mara, everyone I know who has used that method (and PS mom's that I can recall have used it) has said their baby typically cries for that long or longer for anywhere from days to weeks and sometimes several times a night before it works, and then has to do it again in the future as babies sleep patterns are not linear. I think you need to decide what works best for you guys and stick to it. Attempting to let him CIO and then going in and then attempting again is only going to prolong the process, so if it's what you want to do then I think you need to be consistent. I wouldn't worry about the dirty diaper or him being cold.

Ally, Alyson's sleep patterns sound quite normal for a baby her age. I never tried to force a schedule on J, other then she goes down 2 hours after she wakes, and she has created her own over time that is fairly consistent. She still wakes at night, usually once but sometimes more often, and I feed her and then off to bed she goes. She never wants to play when she wakes up, just eats and goes back down so I don't feel the need to do things differently.

***

Went to my parents, drive was okay, had a nice visit. My dad got sick while we were there, again, so just keeping my fingers crossed we don't catch it.

Ordered an Ergo carrier, I can't wait to get it!

 

[Sha]

PG... I was telling my hub the other day he was so lucky that his life hadn't changed much. He immediately got all puffy going 'I do things for the family!!'... and I was like of course you do. But your life is relatively unchanged. He still goes in and comes home from work almost at the same times--maybe coming home an hour earlier most days. He still goes to his symphony rehearsals and plays in his concerts, albiet about 50% of what he used to do. He still goes rowing a few times a week. For me things are very different. I have to come home earlier than I used to because I want to spend 2-3 hours with the baby before bedtime. I don't really bake, cook or make much food anymore for us-- I am too busy spending that time with J. I hardly workout--walking with the baby after work is my workout whereas I used to go to my classes like 3-4x a week. My time is really only my own when I'm at the office. I don't regret any of the changes at all, my life feels like it has way more purpose now, but it's funny because the guys I think have this perception of how their lives have changed but it's 50% of what happens for the woman if not less.

Lanie...don't be freaked out. You guys will make it work just like we all did...and so many women before you! I think you might want to change the diaper outside of the bedroom too. We didn't get a changing table, because so many moms told me not to bother. The 'living room' was our base of operations and it turned into baby central for a few months. G did not want to use our dining table or 'just change baby anywhere' so we got a $80 changing table from Amazon which we LOVE and kept it in our dining room kind of unobtrusively and kept most of the baby stuff there. Also the baby just loved to hang out there and look outside (it's near a window) and stuff too. So even if you guys set up your bedroom you might find that it works better in the LR or something. Just be flexible to change once the babe comes.

jcrow..I think that is the dreamer sleep sack. I am not really sure how to gauge the quality--we got sleep sacks from diapers.com with green edging and turtles and one with blue edging and cars and they seem great quality to me. I like that they are thinner actually because too thick and it's too hot. We have 8 A&A blankets and the quality seems the same on most of them, one pack does seem slightly thicker but I don't like it as much as it's TOO thick for me to feel comfortable to be up against his face...so we use the slightly thinner ones anyway. And they are all super soft to me. The loveys I got from Diapers.Com were SOOO soft. Softer than any of the blankets. So I dont know about the quality but I've loved everything we've bought. Oh and we have the 47x47 blankets which are the largest. The target ones are 44x44 I think.

mere if he didn't cry and just soothed himself back to sleep that is great!! I tend to not worry about J if he wakes up and does things without crying because obviously he's not upset.

So Moms... I need some help here, or advice or something. I might post this elsewhere too since I don't know how many of the older kid moms look here anymore. I posted a few days ago about J's sleeping habits lately, he still goes 12 hours but he is waking up 2-3x a night for a flip over and paci. I do it because it takes 30 seconds and it lets me sleep 8-9 hours so I am fresh for work (I am a sleep hog, it's never enough). BUT he used to sleep more consistently through those 12 hours with less wakeups. I feel like he wakes up and knows and expects us to come in and flip him so he doesn't bother to do anything himself. Like find paci or roll himself back over.

So last nite he woke earlier than normal at 11:30pm, I decided to let him CIO. The kid cried for 45 min. I watched him most of the time in the monitor, he was on belly and ended up snaking his way around the crib, rolled over a few times but consistently rolled back. He just would not give up.Finally he started falling asleep but would wake up every 15 min or so crying for a few min. He just sounded so unsettled. So I finally went in and binked him so he'd be more soothed. He slept til 3am...woke up, cried. I binked him. Woke up at 4:45. This was really unusual for him to wake up so close together so I thought maybe he is hungry. So I fed him 6oz which he guzzled like a monster, and he smelled like pee (I hate that smell) so I changed him--and found he had a small hard poo that was pretty dry and flakey. SO he may have done it at midnight when he was crying. I felt really bad at that point like he had poo and I didn't know etc...BUT he hardly ever has it so I wouldn't have guessed. And his feet were cold even though he was sleep sacked. So I gave him his blanket. He fell immediately back to sleep til 8:30am.

Should I just keep going in there 2-3x a night to check him and roll him and bink him? Or is that just enabling him to NEVER learn it on his own? I feel like also lately he doesnt' want to be put down as much during the day--is that a phase or a side effect of us coming to him consistently at night.

Also, how do you do CIO without knowing if they have poo or something? I felt so bad when I saw he had a poo and was cold. I can't always tell if he is hungry, cold, whatever. It seems like whenever I try CIO something happens and it makes me question if I want to really do it.

Anyway--looking for some advice...I used to be a total CIO advocate but my kid won't just cry for 15 min then fall asleep for 12 hours, it seems like whenever we try it it doesn't work the way we want or expect and takes forever and he just gets more and more upset. Plus he's so drooly lately I feel like he's trying to rest his face in a pile of drool which of course no one likes. I am all about creature comforts and try to think about how I'd feel if I was wet or cold and heck no I couldn't sleep.

Thoughts??? I think i f I wasn't working I'd be into a more hard core CIO thing because I could nap intermittently during the day. But I have to be up and at 'em so I tend to just want to bink him and deal with it later. BUT I don't want to be doing this at 10 months.

And J is 6mo so he should be better at self soothing now than before ideally but it seems like that's not the case. TIA!!!!

So true. I was thinking the same thing the other day. DH's life has hardly changed - except for that fact that we don't get to spend as much time together as we did before. He still sleeps through every night, has a nap whenever he feels like it, and basically does whatever he used to do before. I feel like my life has changed so much, in comparison. I haven't slept through the night since D was born, I never get to take naps anymore or sleep in on weekends, and my 'me' time' has really been reduced (A lot of my 'me time' is at work as well). I just feel a lot busier than I did before, and sometimes it's a struggle to balance everything. To be fair - DH does do his share as he does most of the cooking in the house. But I still do more things - i.e regular cleaning plus most of the child care. I've read that mothers experience the most life changes after a first baby, in comparison to dads. For a second baby - the dads have more adjusting to do. I guess because with a first baby the moms generaly do the lion's share of the work (unfortunate but true), whereas with a second baby, it's impossible for the mother to handle everything, so the dads have to help out more.

Glad to hear you might be looking at a good P/T option at work. That should ease things for you a bit.

J is 18 lbs already? Wow. He's growing well! I'm surpised the pedi said he was hungry? So he's getting solids 3 times a day now? Cool. Dalila was 15 lbs + at her 7 months appt. My little smallie. There was a 4 month old baby at the clinic that was already 15 lbs. It always amazes me when I see how she compares to other babies around her age.

Re: the current situation - is J teething? Just wondering if that's why he could be so unsettled. Sorry you felt bad about the poo/cold etc. I don't generally tend to change D at nights unless she has a lot of poo - but she doesn't usually poo much at nights anyway. I would eliminate anything that could possibly make him unsettled at night - cold/teething pain?/hunger etc - and then work on the CIO again. I think putting in the binky over and over might be self-reinforcing. When I was waking to give D her pacifier at nights she kept waking every couple hours or so. It was only after we stopped giving her her binky and let her CIO that she started to sleep trhough. I don't know.... I'm not the best person to advise but that would be my 0.2 c., for what it's worth.

 

[Burk]

Hey mommies!! Busy busy around here...leaving for vacation tomorrow and packing for 10 days for myself and two kids is pretty crazy. The cabins we stay at aren't fully stocked, either, so I have to pack things like dish towels, hand soap, ect so my list is like a mile long! I can't believe when we get back it will be August! Where does the time go?

Welcome Ally!! A is adorable!!

Re: dads lives not changing. Big ol' YUP to that. It's a man thing. They don't get it. My DH is also gone a lot for work so it's double annoying! But, he still plays in a a volleyball league once a week and golfs, ect. He makes plans and THEN clears them with me...I have to make sure he'll be around to "babysit" our kids and then okay my plans. Drives me crazy sometimes...he's gotten a lot better.

Mara-K is waking once a night most nights for binky (around 1ish) and I just go in and give it to him as well. The other night I let him cry for about 25 minutes and he just got raging mad so I tried to go in and soothe him and he was still POed so I fed him...turns out he was starving. I've done some CIO with him and the times I've done it he usually would just cry/fuss for max 15 minutes and go back down so I kinda knew something else might be up. For me, I started binkying him when he woke instead of CIO because he is teething and also starting to crawl (backwards) so I worried that the teeth may be bothering him or he's waking to practice crawling so I just didn't feel like it was the right time for CIO. Also, our little guys can't put the binky in themselves. I think once K is able to do it himself I will probably stop going in and binky him but until then I am okay walking in there to give him a binky to help soothe himself since I'm still unsure why he's waking. Tough call. Maybe keep doing it (especially since you're working) until you know he's able to put it in himself and if he still is waking expecting you to do it then CIO?

I better get back to my packing....

 

[Burk]

My early BPF contribution since I'll be on the road tomorrow....

K trying to get to my phone.....starting to get POed because he's only getting further from it!

And one of my favs from the photo shoot a friend of mine did a couple weekends ago.

 

[PrettyBlues]

Lanie, for me I found it easier to change and feed Miles in the living room. He is still sleeping in his pnp in our room at almost four months, and we have a sound machine with a blue night light so it's not totally dark, but I just find it easier to do everything outside of the bedroom. I also didn't feel comfortable feeding him in bed, and his feeds used to take 45 min-1hour, so we set up his rocker in the living room so I could watch TV while nursing. You'll find what works for you.

Ally, welcome! Sounds like A is on a pretty good schedule already. I was like Kim, letting Miles lead and we have sort of fallen into a natural rhythm. With that said, he always goes down around 8, but sometimes he wakes up at 4, eats and goes back to sleep until 7:30-8, and sometimes he sleeps until 6-6:30, but then is up for the day. I just figure he has different sleep/eating needs on those days and just go with it.

Kim, did you get the new Ergo (I forget the name)? People seem to be raving about it, and I wish it had been out before I bought my Beco. I do love it, but in this summer heat sometimes it is just too much and I can't carry him. At the same time, I'm not sure I can justify buying another carrier.

re: dads lives not changing as much, yep I agree. I bet you if I asked D though he would say that his life has changed dramatically. And I think *mentally* it has, but in terms of his day to day life, it hasn't changed much. And certainly nothing compared to mine. But I do love being a Mom

re: A&A, I don't know about the different quality, as I can't get the Target or diapers.com one's in Canada. However, I do have a question regarding the sleep sacks. I am in the middle of trying to de-swaddle right now, so have been putting him in the sack. However, yesterday after I laid him down I noticed that it's quite loose still (this is the small, 0-6 months) around his armpits and torso. So he was able to bunch some of it up and pull it towards his mouth. So then I got paranoid thinking what if he moves down or pulls it up and it covers his face and suffocates him? I was ok for a nap when I can check on him, but I'm not sure how I feel about using it at night. Does anyone else have this problem or am I just being paranoid?

AFM, I think I have the return of AF. I was hoping it wouldn't show up until after Miles was done breastfeeding. But I was reading about it today and it said one of the (many) factors of it returning was when you are going longer than 6 hour stretches for feedings at night. Sometimes we go up to 10 hours now. Who knew him STTN could actually be a bad thing in any way? Oh well, it had to come back eventually.

ETA: Burk, love that first pic!

 

[vizsla]

ok, i'm so redic behind but i wanted to pop in and say "hi" and whatnots


congrats tao!

mara - it's a toughie. obvs i loathed the thought of CIO and made the decision to wake up with c each time he did. our situation is hugely different because c never STTN before CIO and he was sick for 4 months straight. however, i can see some benefits for you if you do choose CIO. that said, i don't know if the results will be as quick/effective (yet) - mainly because c could find and bink himself in the middle of the night AND he was 8 months old, and could/would roll over without assistance. the angel on my shoulder says you might just have to tough it out on the sleeping front for a month or so until he gains some more independence.

the devil says 45 mins of crying and eventually putting himself to sleep (even if he sniffled/cried on and off for another 30mins to an hour) sounds like a pretty good first night of CIO. i'm certainty not implying that that is the road you are headed down, but tonight he may only cry for 15 or 20 mins.
it could be that j may cry in the middle of the night because he knows you will come in and flip him over and/or bink him? if you really truly don't want to wake up and do this you might have to try to let him figure things out for a few nights?
as for the poo thing, according to my pedi, it really shouldn't bother them that much. yes it's uncomfortable, but if you think going into his room only makes the situation worse - she suggested just slathering up their tooshy with extra cream and that's that.
we recently went thru a similar conundrum due to c's teething (4 top teeth at once!). he started waking up 3-4 times a night. at first i went in - maybe give him some tylenol - and soothed him back to sleep. then i realized after a few nights he was consistently waking up at the same time each night.. and me going in was only reinforcing him. we had to let him cry for one night and he's back on track. to this day i still have mixed feelings about CIO. i hate it and think it was a good decision all at the same time. just another one of those sweet internal mom conflicts.

afm - c is having a rough time. uncontrollably crying, in obvious pain, and the kicker is that we found more blood in his poo. at first i had thought it was related to his MSPI and or another food intolerance - but after getting xrays and blood work done at our local children's hospital we discovered he was completely full of stool which is creating fissures that bleed - poor little guy! we have to give him suppositories and keep him on miralax for the next 6 weeks, but this could go on for the rest of his life. of course i completely blame myself for stopping BF after my surgery, but in doing some research i've found that this is a common 'side effect' for babies who have been on antibiotics for an extended period of time. i can't even begin to stomach this research and or how i could have prevented this (the research being completely creditable and not hooey). anyhoo, i've been a little down in the dumps lately.. ahhh at least tomorrow is friday

 

[ChinaCat]

Oh Viz. Can't you catch a break? I know this won't make you feel better, but you can't control everything. And you did everything you knew to do and everything you were told to do to try and make C better, which included antibiotics. You made the best call at the time you had to make it. And so here is a side effect, MAYBE. You can't be sure. But. C is going to be FINE. And when he grows up, this will be a little annoyance that he has to deal with. And he's going to be a happy child because he is so very loved by you. I know it's hard now b/c if he's in pain he can't tell you and you feel helpless. But you're such a good mom. Big hugs to you. Seriously.

 

[lovinsparkles]

Hi PS mommies,

Diaper question here (I apologize if this has been addressed elsewhere...I don't usually come into this thread and it's pretty massive to review from page 1!). I've got a 2.5 month old daughter and lately we've had a lot of poop-up-the-back issues with her diapers (Pampers Swaddlers, size 2). Just wondering if this is unavoidable or if others have tried a different brand to avoid this? We don't generally get leaks anywhere else - it's mostly up the back...I think because there is no "elastic" there, unlike at the legs. Any suggestions? TIA!

 

[meresal]

Mara- The thing I fel bad about, is that I am sure he was crying (hence the movement to the end of the mattress and the blanket being kicked so far down the bed), but since I didn't turn the monitor back up after nursing at 330, I couldn't hear him. I am glad he went back to sleep, but I hate that we didn't hear him when he needed us.
Viz- I am so sorry that you are dealing with yet another issue. That is one strong little guy! He will pull thru this as well!
Burk- Your pics are adorable!


For the 3rd night this week, my child is passed out at 6pm.

The first night, I wrote about on the last page, he fell asleep at 730 and woke up at 11.
Last night, he fell asleep at 630, and woke up at 11.
Tonight, he fell asleep at 530, and though I know it has only been an hour, you can just tell when your child is OUT. He is not waking up anytime soon. I imagine he will wake up around 10 or 11 tonight.

Each time he woke up at 11, he stays awake for an hour, then goes back to sleep, and wakes up at 330, and then 630. (Well, I assume he did today, I just didn't hear him because of the monitor being so low).

I want him to go back to going to sleep at 9-930, and then sleeping thru, until 330.

Should I wake him up in an hour, play for an hour, and then put him down for the night? Would you wake him up?

 

[Burk]

Tao~Forgot to say congrats earlier!!

Meresal~Thanks. I'm probably too late to give my advice for tonight...what did you end up doing? My 2 cents....My goal was always for my kids to sleep 7-7 so the 6:30 asleep wouldn't bother me (and as a matter of fact that was T's bedtime for a while from about 12 months on) but 5:30 would be too early to be a "bedtime" I think and especially since he doesn't just get up and nurse and go right back down I would wake him. Can you shift his naps during the day? Good luck!

Viz~I agree with China, you gotta catch a break some time soon! Poor C!! I will say, though, that while T had a rough go at it for the first year of her life all the crap she went through has made her one tough cookie (she had to get blood drawn today and seriously didn't even complain...no tears, nothing!!!) I bet C will be the same. Keep us posted!

Pretty~Thanks!

lovinsparkles~Have you tried a size larger? Some brands just don't work for certain babies so if going up a size doesn't help I would maybe try out a different brand. If you have a friend who uses another brand maybe try a couple first?

Okay....I'm procrastinating....must get back to packing!

 

[ChinaCat]

Mer- Sorry, late now. Such a hard question, I always hated waking him up. BUT I agree with Burk, that at some point you want to start him on a night time schedule. How old is D again? What did you do?

Burk- LOVE that first picture, absolutely gorgeous!

 

[phoenixgirl]

Viz!!!! I COULD NOT do what you did with the not sleeping and the amazing attempts to continue BFing despite all the bumps in the road and the hospitalization. Please do not blame yourself for a side effect of what was probably a life-saving or at least life-improving course of antibiotics. Almost all treatments have side effects . . . I am just glad we live in a world with so many treatments available because the lack of them would be worse. Let's not even think about it! I'm so sorry for C that he continues to endure ickiness and I just want to kick-box something to make it better. In fact . . .

I would like to nominate somebody for an A+ Super Fantastic Award. It's Viz . . . she loves her baby with all her might. She has cared for him with every fiber of her being. She has endured countless infections and sleepless nights and worries and a really horrible infection in her lady parts just to see a smile on her darling son's face, and he is 100 million percent better for it. Do I have a second?

 

[Sha]

I second that nomination, pg!

lovinsparkles - I found Pampers to be pretty small in coverage compared to Huggies - especially around the waist and legs. One reason I like Huggies is that there's good coverage up the waist - so no poop-up-the-back issues. Just in case you're considering trying a different brand.

 

[Mara]

Mere....I would wake him... when J falls asleep for a nap late and/or sleeps way later than he normally does I wake him if it's close to bedtime. I don't jolt him out, I would just in and open the blinds, turn off the sound machine and usually he will wake himself within about 5-10 min. Then we'll get him up, play with him, feed him, etc. I try to leave about an hour for him to be 'up' before trying to put him to bed again. BTW I would LOVE if I could sleep through J crying, then I wouldn't be having this issue haha! Our room is so close to him and he's SO loud there is no chance of that ever.

Sha...sorry did I write that J was 18lbs? I thought he would be 18 but he is actually 16.5 and 27in. He's kind of a tall and lean kiddo so far I guess!

Thanks ladies for the notes and advice on the sleeping situ. I guess part of my conflict is I don't know if 6mo is too early to feel like he should be able to self-soothe, I don't THINK it is but I am not totally sure. aka last nite he moved around the crib for 45 min. he didn't even bother trying to suck on his hand til the end. he always sucks on his hand during the day so why not at night? Is he too used to the paci?

Viz, I also think he IS not doing things himself a night because he feels like we'll do it for him. But who knows maybe that's giving him too much credit. I just don't want to be creating a habit that will bite us in the arse 3-6 months later yanno. Also, lately he has been really spoily acting when people put him down--aka instantly screaming bloody murder. And I feel like it's because he knows we'll respond to him (us or when he is at my mom's she will etc)...or maybe it's a phase but either way it's not appealing to me. I want him to realize when he's on his own he doesn't NEED someone at his side all the time and he can entertain himself. And I know he DOES know this because he does it but sometimes he's just not interested in that and then the attitude on this kid is palpable!

I do keep thinking, well he just got shots. and maybe he is teething more, it's so hard to tell, and maybe now isn't the right time to put our foot down. Or maybe he's constipated. Or maybe he's growing. It seems like there is always something that COULD be happening which makes it hard mentally to figure out when he's just being a pill because he can, or when he really needs some soothing.

Anyway--I forgot who said it but I might keep doing this for a few more weeks and see where we are at for his 7mo. And then maybe get tough about it. THOUGH that's prob right smack dab in the middle of teething! So there really isn't ever a perfect time I suppose.

Tonite we put him down and he was moaning his self-soothe moan then he spit out the paci, screamed for 5min, I walk in and paci him, he rolls onto his side and is out like a light.

My Mom says... I am so lucky to have a child who sleeps extremely well that I should just go in when he needs soothing and paci him. Thanks MOM!

re: the poop...I wouldn't typically mind as much I guess if he didn't keep waking up last nite. So obviously something was bothering him. Whether it was shots, or cold, or hungry or poop or a combination--I felt badly trying to make him CIO when he was obviously not at his best. I try to never change him at night as well.

and Kim...J is actually really sensitive to cold--that is the one thing that is really consistent with him. He does not like being cold or unsnuggly while he sleeps. I can toss him a blanket when I go into his room and he'll sleep a few more hours with it usually. Poop I think he prob doesn't care as much about, but cold feet I felt bad about.

PB... re: the sleep sacks and material, yes this happens to us too. J is really long so the Med sleep sack fits his length but is big around his chest with arm holes and the neck opening. We moved to sleep sack when J was 4+ mo old so at first I felt a little weird seeing some of the extra material, but after a while I realized he had good head control at that point plus he had started rolling over, so if he REALLY wanted to at this point he could sleep on his side and fold himself in half and push his head/mouth into his lower body...so I felt like well it is what it is. But if you feel like M is not at that point yet or he's not rolling, then maybe use a smaller sleep sack (they have XS i think) or something like the Woombie as a transition?

re: diapers... we had some poop out the back issues with J for about 3-4 weeks, the pampers def don't have that tight back fit, so maybe try a diff brand that does? OR when it was happening we just started putting the diapers on a lot tighter for his waist.

 

[HOUMedGal]

Anchor - so sorry J is sick. Poor baby! I just wanted to pop in a check to see if he's had a renal ultrasound and a VCUG to determine the cause of his recurrent UTI's....if not, you should definitely bring it up with his doctor. Sometimes there can be anatomic abnormalities that can cause recurrent infections...I'm certainly not trying to scare you, just wanting to make sure he's getting the tests he should. Sending dust for a speedy recovery!!

I *love* coming over here to check out BPF...the babies are SOOOOOOOOOOO CUUUUUUTTTEEEEE!!!!

Thanks for dropping by HOUMedGal! J has been having tests done since his first UTI. So far, he has had two renal ultrasounds and a mictional cystography (don't know if that's the same thing as a VCUG?) done and will have a scintigraphy done on September 14th. He's scheduled to see a urologist in September, but I'm still waiting for the appointment date. So far, this is what I have (I'm not an expert and attempting to translate from French, so sorry if some of it doesn't make sense). "Known vesicoureteral reflux (VUR), grade 3-4 (right) and 2-3 (left) with double collecting system (left)." If this means anything to you I'd love to hear your thoughts. I'd been giving him sulfamethoxazole-trimethoprim everyday for prophylaxis and they switched him to an amoxillin and clavulanate combination medication. Thing is, Clavulin makes him throw up if I don't split his feedings (but the poor kid's hungry! ) and gives him crazy diarrhea and diaper rash , so I don't think I can keep giving it to him for prophylaxis after the infection treatment, and might have to switch back to Novo-Trimel.

OK, I'm glad to know he's had the appropriate tests and that you've gotten answers as to why he's getting the infections. A mictitional cystography is the same as a VCUG, indeed. Sounds like everything that has happened so far is right on target with what we do here in Texas. The urologist will be able to give you a more definitive plan when you see him/her as far as surgical repair options, etc. to really fix the problem and stop (or at least, lessen substantially) the recurrent infections. They may want to talk about surgical repair, especially on the left side, since he's had breakthrough infections even on the prophylactic antibiotics. The most important thing is protecting those kidneys the best we can...less infections means less chance for long-term effects on the kidneys. Definitely talk to them about switching your prophylaxis med since it's causing him so many side effects...they may have chosen the amox/clavulanate based on his culture results, and there may not be another better choice, but it's totally worth talking about, because side effects like that can be miserable (I don't need to tell you that, though, because you know first-hand!)

 

[Sabine]

Mara, I think you might be at the point where you need to decide if you want to try full on CIO (and at this point it might be time to wean from the bink, as well) or not. If you are going to do it, you need to be CONSISTENT. It's perfectly normal for night one to be 45 minutes of hard crying, then light crying or unsettledness off and on for a while. I know how bad it can make you feel when they do poop like that (and the hardness may have had something to do with the unsettledness), but try not to let it get your paranoid. I did, and he ended up only pooping on the times I DIDN'T go in, none of the times I did, and that always made it take longer for him to get to sleep. Personally, I would pick a Friday night and start hardcore letting him CIO and stick with it at this point (J is 6 months right? that's the time most drs. say no more overnight feedings too, and at that point we noticed if we did feed Jacks overnight it would mess up his daytime eating).

I have a friend who only needed to go in and bink her dd overnight once or twice, and since it wasn't bad she never did any sleep training. Well, her dd is 13 months, and she still needs to go in and bink her most nights at least once. Yep, the kid CAN find the paci, but won't.

ARGH, can't scroll back up, who was it that asked the poop question? I found that when they pooped up the back, it was usually time for a bigger diaper, but sometimes it really is unavoidable if you're in the biggest diaper for pee leaks (don't go by weight on the package, go by fit). You may need to experiment a bit though, we ended up switching to LUVS and had so many fewer issues with them even though they don't feel as soft.

Ack, sorry, crying baby and a dh who is doing nothing, I'll try to respond more later.

 

[MonkeyPie]

I would like to nominate somebody for an A+ Super Fantastic Award. It's Viz . . . she loves her baby with all her might. She has cared for him with every fiber of her being. She has endured countless infections and sleepless nights and worries and a really horrible infection in her lady parts just to see a smile on her darling son's face, and he is 100 million percent better for it. Do I have a second?

I third this! Viz, you are such a good mommy, I can't believe how great you have been through all your little guys problems. Once he is completely healthy you won't know what to do with yourself!

 

[vizsla]

will.not.cry.will.not.cry.
thanks pg and cc eta: and mp

diapers - when we had "poop up the back" issues i assumed it was b/c of how he was positioned when he went. like, if c was laying on his back and he pooped - well, it has no other place to go however, i stopped buying pampers (dry max complaints) and switched to huggies (cruisers maybe?) and then, seventh generation. these are my favorite so far! they have auh-mazing tabs that are really thick and super easy to secure around their middle (preventing up the back blow outs). it might be worth a shot just to test out a few of the smaller packages of diapers. i've had zero blow-outs/pee-outs since switching to seventh generation.

.... until this morning....

but in a good way seems like the suppositories are finally working - last night he was obviously uncomfortable so into bed he came, he was up for a large portion of the night just laying in the corner of my arm groaning while i was rubbed circles around his belly....(i'm such a softee). then this morning while bouncing around in his exersaucer - out.it.came.... on everything.... EVEryTHInG.... nothing says "good morning mom, i know you are already dressed for work in your white jeans, and you have to leave in 5 mins, but i'm going to go ahead and have a massive poo attack all over you and everything within 4 feet of my backside - cool?" thank gawd DH is home today to keep a watchful eye on any further poo attacks. the awesome thing was that he couldn't have cared less - and i might have caught a smidgen of relief on his face anyhoo - so that's viz shooting the sh*t this morning.

which brings me to mara what has been one of the single most validating consequences of doing CIO for me is that i now know, without a doubt, when something in the middle of the night is wrong, and when he's just being a fussy gus. it's soo much easier to be confident that there is a valid reason for the crying and therefore going in to help vs. just running thru the plethora of reasons he could be crying and doing them all at 3 in the morning. it's the reason we knew something was legitimately wrong this last go around. if it had just been teething or too warm/cold or couldn't find his bink or roll over etc. he would have fussed for about 3 mins and then gone back to sleep vs. really 'really' crying. it was very hard to let him CIO when we knew he was teething, but our pedi assured me teething isn't something they can't get thru on their own.
you are right though, you won't be able to sleep when he is crying in the middle of the night. c's door is 3 feet from ours in our little cape and we keep both of the doors cracked open. i don't even need a monitor b/c i can hear him breathe a pillow over the head does help to muffle some of it out - or, you can do what my girlfriend did, and go sit in your car with the radio on (her DH was in the house)
but in the end you have to be comfortable with it and/or decide that he's not sick, doesn't have a fever, has the appropriate layers on etc. and crying is just a product of wanting a little cuddle or mommy interaction in the middle of the night. like i said, we went thru 8 straight months of this and DH and i were at a point where we physically, mentally, emotionally couldn't handle the lack of sleep anymore. we were desperate. it doesn't sound like you are at that point and if a quick pat and re-bink does the trick then fantastic. i just wanted to share my experience and i guess, change of heart on CIO. i don't know if i would be able to do it at 6 months either. i was really confident at 7 months that he was big enough etc ...... and then it took another 4 weeks to muster up the courage to do it you know j best!

 

[steph72276]

Hey Mamas! Sorry I have been MIA, but it's been busy around here with Andrew out of school for the summer. Hopefully when he's back in school, I will have more time to participate in this thread, but I try to read when I'm feeding him his bottle. Just wanted to say I love all the pics, your babes are all so adorable

Mara, E is doing the exact same thing as J. He will wake up 4-5 times throughout the night making little cries. When I go in there, he is still mostly asleep, but is moving his head from side to side and whimpering. If I paci him and pat his leg or bottom for a minute, he goes right back to sleep. E's room is right next to A's room, so I have just been sucking it up and going in there to paci him everytime just because I don't want 2 kids awake at 3am! If I didn't have another kid, I think I would try to let him CIO especially since E is still asleep and is not screaming crying. Do you think it could be the start of separation anxiety? I think it could start around 6 months, so they might just need a little reassurance in the middle of the night that we are still there for them. I don't know, it is so hard to know the right thing to do, especially for those of you who have to get up and work the next day. Good luck and let me know how it goes.

Re life changing after baby for dads...yeah, I totally agree. Although Adam is GREAT with the kids, I have to remind him sometimes his job as a dad is equally as important as mine. Example, a few mornings ago we were in the kitchen warming E's bottle. He got really fussy and wanted his bottle NOW so I told Adam to just take the bottle out a few minutes early. He replied "okay, I wasn't going to make that call, I do what you say, so when you tell me to let it stay in there 5 minutes that's what I always do!" It just hit me right there that Adam looks at me as the one "in charge" of all things baby and it shouldn't be that way. He comes and goes to work and just plays with the baby for a while before bed, while I am consumed with feedings, rashes, carseats, clothes, doc appts, sleeping habits, etc. I wonder sometimes how Adam would get along without me thinking of all these things. All that also makes me want to look for a p/t job somewhere or finally finish my master's so that I too can do things outside of the baby/kid world because I'll admit that sometimes I am jealous that Adam gets to go into work and put all the baby things on the backburner for bit!

Burk, have fun on your trip!

Viz, oh no to the tummy issues. Hope C feels better soon!

Lovinsparkles, we had some of those issues but we found that the diaper wasn't the right size. We actually had to go up, but I wouldn't think a 2.5 month old would need a bigger than size 2...maybe it's too big or not on tight enough?

Mere, sometimes E takes a late catnap and I always wake him to feed him/play/take a bath before bedtime if he does...if not, he will be up super early to eat!

Tao, Congrats

Oops, E is waking up so I've gotta go. Big hello to everyone I missed!

Here's a pic of him from yesterday practicing sitting up!

 

[vizsla]

cute! i can't believe how big all the babies are!
i haven't posted a pic in awhile b/c now that c is getting bigger i'm getting more paranoid - but here's my contribution...
mamma's sleeping giant

 

[anchor31]

Anchor - so sorry J is sick. Poor baby! I just wanted to pop in a check to see if he's had a renal ultrasound and a VCUG to determine the cause of his recurrent UTI's....if not, you should definitely bring it up with his doctor. Sometimes there can be anatomic abnormalities that can cause recurrent infections...I'm certainly not trying to scare you, just wanting to make sure he's getting the tests he should. Sending dust for a speedy recovery!!

I *love* coming over here to check out BPF...the babies are SOOOOOOOOOOO CUUUUUUTTTEEEEE!!!!

Thanks for dropping by HOUMedGal! J has been having tests done since his first UTI. So far, he has had two renal ultrasounds and a mictional cystography (don't know if that's the same thing as a VCUG?) done and will have a scintigraphy done on September 14th. He's scheduled to see a urologist in September, but I'm still waiting for the appointment date. So far, this is what I have (I'm not an expert and attempting to translate from French, so sorry if some of it doesn't make sense). "Known vesicoureteral reflux (VUR), grade 3-4 (right) and 2-3 (left) with double collecting system (left)." If this means anything to you I'd love to hear your thoughts. I'd been giving him sulfamethoxazole-trimethoprim everyday for prophylaxis and they switched him to an amoxillin and clavulanate combination medication. Thing is, Clavulin makes him throw up if I don't split his feedings (but the poor kid's hungry! ) and gives him crazy diarrhea and diaper rash , so I don't think I can keep giving it to him for prophylaxis after the infection treatment, and might have to switch back to Novo-Trimel.

OK, I'm glad to know he's had the appropriate tests and that you've gotten answers as to why he's getting the infections. A mictitional cystography is the same as a VCUG, indeed. Sounds like everything that has happened so far is right on target with what we do here in Texas. The urologist will be able to give you a more definitive plan when you see him/her as far as surgical repair options, etc. to really fix the problem and stop (or at least, lessen substantially) the recurrent infections. They may want to talk about surgical repair, especially on the left side, since he's had breakthrough infections even on the prophylactic antibiotics. The most important thing is protecting those kidneys the best we can...less infections means less chance for long-term effects on the kidneys. Definitely talk to them about switching your prophylaxis med since it's causing him so many side effects...they may have chosen the amox/clavulanate based on his culture results, and there may not be another better choice, but it's totally worth talking about, because side effects like that can be miserable (I don't need to tell you that, though, because you know first-hand!)

Thank you for your insight! Thankfully this time they gave me a formulation of Clavulin that I can give 2X a day instead of 3 and he's not having the side effects he had last time... So once the infection treatment is done, keeping it for prophylaxis may not be a problem.

 

[anchor31]

viz - Don't feel guilty! You've really been doing everything you can. After J's 2nd UTI, his antibiotics were giving him bad diarrhea and I told my pharmacist that I was concerned with the state of his GI tract because he's been getting so much antibiotics (and these meds kill all the "good bacteria" too...) so she sold me probiotic drops. Works like a probiotic yogourt, but they're drops I can put in his formula or cereal. Do you think it could help C, after you're done with the Miralax?

Up the back accidents - I hate disposable diapers for this very reason. Every time I put him in disposables diapers to go out for the day, it happens. I'm curious, what are 7th generation diapers?

Mara - I didn't have time to respond yesterday and I don't know if anyone did, but if you're having a hard time adding a solid meal to J's day, do you think adding a bit more cereal to J's dinner would help filling him up more?

AFM - J is bouncing back well, although he's a bit wishy-washy on solids this week. I hope it's just a phase!

 

[natalina]

Hi Guys! I am SOOOO far out of the loop at this point, I apologize for not going back to far to respond. Things here have been crazy with the move. We bought a bit of a 'fixer-upper', so it's been constant landscaping crews, painters, fence people, etc. Painting of upstairs should be done this week- yay! All of the work to be done is cosmetic though, so no major renovations, just bringing the house into this decade! Oh- and the basement flooded in the crazy storm last weekend- good times.

But to just jump in, I have to say that I third (fourth?) the nomination to Viz! Girl- you are one tough mama! Charlie is SO lucky to have you to take care of him! I'm so glad (for him, not so much for your jeans) that he finally got a bit of relief from the 'back-up'. And I have to say I laughed out loud at your "shooting the sh*t" comment! To kind of go along with Anchor's comment about probiotics- does Charlie eat yogurt? I started Ellie on the yo-baby meals last week- they have a veggie and a fruit pureed at the bottom of each, either sweet potato & apple or green bean & pear. She has one with lunch each day and she just GOBBLES them up! Which is funny, because I tried the Gerber yogurt first and she literally gagged. Anyway, I have noticed that now here poops are much smooshier and regular now, and I think it must be the yogurt (oh the things we talk about on here!). Sorry if you've already covered this, but I thought it might help if you hadn't . (why is that smiley called 'rodent'??? Ick- almost makes me not want to use it!)

Re: poo blowouts up the back- I'd go up a size, and I am a HUGE Huggies fan. Had all kinds of blowouts with Pampers. Plus I hate the way they smell.

Steph- what a cute pic! Can't believe he's so big already!

Ally- welcome! You're little girl is ADORABLE!!!!!

And to all of you with teething woes, is it crazy that Ellie still doesn't have any? She's almost 10 months and not a tooth in sight! Tall and thin at her 9 month appt- 18 lbs 3 oz and 28 3/4 inches. Still figuring out the crawl, this girl just likes to roll wherever she needs to go!

 

[ChinaCat]

Mara- Personally, 6 months was the earliest *I* felt comfortable doing CIO if needed. Well, we never did full blown CIO, but that was when I began letting him self-soothe. I could just see a change in him and felt he was ready. Your mom is right, in a way- if it really isn't bothering you to do it, consider yourself lucky that he's a good sleeper otherwise. If it gets to the point that you need to stop getting up, then maybe consider CIO. I promise he's smart enough, he'll figure it out quickly. And I'm telling you, starting at 6 months they start to get grown up so FAST and he will be able to bink himself in no time. You'll be amazed.

VIZ- Mother of the Year, for sure, we don't even need to take a vote. Not only for being such a source of strength for your son, not only for how fiercely you love and protect Lil' C, but also because you do it with humor and grace. I.e., see "shooting the s**t". You rock. Tell your husband we said so. And print all of these posts out and save them for Lil C so when he's a teenager and grunts at you or yells the inevitable "if you really loved me you'd let me...." you can pull them out and say "SEE? I let you s**t all over my white jeans and I was HAPPY about it. Don't tell me about love, mister. And no, you still can't get a tattoo."

Steph (and everyone re: husbands)- I am reading this great book on motherhood and she describes one morning sitting in the kitchen. Her daughter was a newborn and she was holding her in her lap. Her husband casually gets up and walks out of the room. And she sharply asks "Where are YOU going?". And the husband looks at her confused and says "To the bathroom?" And the author talks about this sudden flash of anger she has at her DH, because he could simply get up and walk out of the room without thinking about it, without thinking, "Now, where can I put this baby? Or should I take her with me?" And on and on. And it's so true, as helpful as DH's are, they simply cannot fathom the amount of thought that goes into even just going to the bathroom. My DH is super hands on. But once he made a comment about how 50/50 we were and I had to think about why I didn't feel like that was true. And here's what I came up with. When DH and I are home, he does pretty much do 50/50 in a physical sense and in a time sense. If he's home, we are both "on call" and both look after or play with O. Or he goes and does stuff and then I do. Either way, he does split watching him with me. BUT. I asked him: "Do you ever think about his schedule? Or when we should add in finger foods? Or when he's ready to drop a bottle? Or when his nap should start?" And he sheepishly said no, I never think about that. And that's the difference, not only do I work and physically take care of O like he does, I do ALL of the planning and organizing and education. I am planning the birthday and thinking about presents, and the baptism, and when we will introduce milk and when we should stop giving him a bottle and when we should start daycare, etc. And part of me feels privileged to do so. I'M his MOM. Moms are special. But I just appreciate when DH realizes all of the stuff that I do, and appreciates ME for it. Sometimes they need reminding.

 

[steph72276]

CC- you hit the nail on the head with all the planning and thinking. Don't get me wrong, I love to do it, but it's a lot more work than most of our husbands realize!

 

[lovinsparkles]

Thanks for all the diaper advice. DD is big for her age but weight is still well within the Pampers Size 2 range, so I think size is OK and maybe we need to try a different brand. I think we will try Huggies next and will report back with results!

 

[Mara]

Thanks Mommies... I know I have to figure something out and be ok with it one way or the other. Quite frankly, if our house was not tiny and I didn't hear him IF I didn't have the monitor on, I'd be a happy camper and let him do CIO. But it's sooo hard to sit there and listen to them cry and cry and cry esp when it sounds like he's dying and he's like one room from us. I totally admit it'd be way easier for ME if I couldn't hear him. But as it is I lay there for 45 min listening to him and unable to sleep...so it affects me the next day too. And I admit it, I suck at getting less sleep and being useful the next day at work. I'm no viz!!!

Speaking of Viz..I agree girl you get a crazy fabulous mommy award. I really don't know how you stay so upbeat and positive about everything..poor C, poor you guys. And I ditto the others that you have done what you could for him and that is that...I know it's easy to let mommy guilt overrun your brain but try not to let it. He's going to grow up, be totally fine and I agree sometimes we just have things we have to deal with in our lives and they end up being minor annoyances but life goes on. Just give him all the love you guys have and that will be enough.

So last nite J woke up at 2am and 3:30am. I was like W.T.F kid. At 3:30 I thought well maybe I should let him cry but I ran through a few things in my head (aka consistency, the shots, my sanity etc) and got up and binked him and gave him his blankie. Out til 7:15am. So he obviously wasn't starving at that point--maybe just cold or needed something to soothe? He LOVES his blankie so I am wondering if I should just start giving that to him on his first wakeup, if it would help.

Sabine THANK YOU for chiming in w/that story about your friend who is still stuck binking her kid at 13 months. That is exactly what I don't want to have happen. And J pretty much only takes the binky at night, it's so weird. It's crazy that during the day he soothes just fine but at night he has like a mental block or something.

The irony here is that I am totally for CIO. I really am...because I figure it works or else so many parents wouldn't have done it! BUT I am a total wuss sitting there listening to my kid scream. I feel bad for him, bad for me. And I think about getting up 500 times in that 45 min. I know 45 min is not bad, I kept telling myself some kids cry for 2 hours! But yeah it's not fun at all. So I do have to figure out if and when we will decide to do it. Anyhoo. Thanks ladies.

Steph...ITA re: the whole 'you tell me what to do' thing..G is like that too. Sometimes I wish he'd just do things on his own without asking me but then I think well I'd prob get on him if he did it and didn't ask me and it ended up being the wrong thing (aka the other nite trying CIO, G was like, can I go to him? Why not? etc). Boys are funny.

Nat...so good to see you here!!

BPF..! I have to find a pic. Viz... funny you mention getting paranoid about posting pics. I have a few super cute pics of J with just sports shorts on and I wanted to post one for BPF but was like...well he looks half naked and that weirded me out posting it on here even though he's only 6mo. I guess I'll put it on the other site..but gotta find a pic for here too.

 

[curiousaboutdiamonds]

Mara- Sorry for all this CIO dilemma. There's some great advice and suggestions here. How did last night go? Hope you and J slept better. [ETA: Just saw your post - maybe J's growing through a growth spurt or he's teething like the others suggested?]

China- THANK YOU! I think you're right and that A's bed time is really at 9pm. The last 2 nights she slept from 9-3-6:30/7:00. Her 4 month shots or growth spurt were probably the reasons for her other wake-ups this last week. Eventually, I want to wean her off of the 3am feeding, if she doesn't need it

Kim- Thanks for the reassurance. I have the grey ERGO and have been using it since A was 2 months and LOVE it.

Burk- Thank you. The photographer captured a great picture of you and K. Such a joyous picture. Have a great vacation!.

PrettyBlues- Thanks for sharing. Seems like the 3/4am wake-up is pretty common at their age. How is the deswaddling going? We will have to venture into that territory in a short while. Sorry about AF returning. I sometimes go 7-8 hours between my night and morning pump sessions and AF hasnt returned yet. Now that I've said that, she'll probably make her appearance soon.

Viz- {{{HUGS}}} You and C have been through so much. Just know that you've done all you can to help your child feel better. Ditto the others that you're a GREAT mommy. Hope C feels better soon! Love the collage of C!

Mere- What did you do last night? I thought A's bed-time was 7/7:30 but it seems that her bed-time is more like 9, so last night when she fell asleep at 6:30, I gently woke her at 7, nursed her at 8:30 and she was passed out at 9 and slept till 3:30. Maybe I would wake him if he falls asleep early again tonight?

FLSteph- Cute picture of E!

Anchor- for J feeling better. Hope he keeps getting better.

Natalina- Thank you!

Here I am with A last week before her baptism:

 

[ChinaCat]

Ally- OMG, that is the best baptism dress ever! As for the bedtime thing, I know lots of moms on here succesfully had their kids at earlier bedtimes, but O didn't really go down and I liked to put him down to "bed" when I knew he'd start his longer stretch. He dropped the 3 am feeding on his own. Oh, and he did gradually start having earlier and earlier bedtimes and now he goes down at 7 pm.

As for return of AF- such a crapshoot. I didn't get mine until a month after I completely stopped all BF (so around 9 months). And O started doing 10 hour stretches pretty early. So you never know. Then again I know there are some moms on here who EBF and got AF like in the first month or two PP!

Have more to share, but work is crazy today. Off to lunch, but will pop back on later.

 

[fieryred33143]

which brings me to mara what has been one of the single most validating consequences of doing CIO for me is that i now know, without a doubt, when something in the middle of the night is wrong, and when he's just being a fussy gus. it's soo much easier to be confident that there is a valid reason for the crying and therefore going in to help vs. just running thru the plethora of reasons he could be crying and doing them all at 3 in the morning. it's the reason we knew something was legitimately wrong this last go around. if it had just been teething or too warm/cold or couldn't find his bink or roll over etc. he would have fussed for about 3 mins and then gone back to sleep vs. really 'really' crying. it was very hard to let him CIO when we knew he was teething, but our pedi assured me teething isn't something they can't get thru on their own.

Wise words. That's what we've been able to do with Sophia as well...identify when she's being fussy vs when she really needs us.

Viz-You still have to make the trip to SFL for the Lebron game. I'll throw in a big ole margarita as a mommy award