PS Mommies - What do you wish you''d had with you in the Delivery Room?

[geckodani]

My sister is pregnant (YAY!) and has asked me to be in the room when my neice or nephew is born, to be sort of a labor coach. I''m touched, honored, and overwhelmed.

I want to make an emergency kit of sorts to take with me, and wanted to know - what do you wish someone had thought to bring? Any other tips on how to help her?

 

[vespergirl]

A doula. I had my husband with me, but I would have been more comfortable with another woman there as well who has been through the delivery process before. I gave birth while the hospital was short-staffed Thanksgiving weekend, and the nurse was a total bee-yotch.

 

[DivaDiamond007]

Gecko - congratulations to your sister! When I had James I really wish I had put an extra tube of chapstick in my hospital bag! I had some in my purse, which I consequently had left in my car while I was in the hospital. My lips were so chapped and I felt like I had been drinking Elmer''s glue! You may also want to bring some thick, dark colored socks for her to wear, some powder (for massages during labor) and a CD of her favorite music to help her concentrate on the delivery. I was watching a marathon of "What Not to Wear" on TLC when I was in labor.

Just be there for her as much as you can. Get the nurse if necesssary, rub her back or feet if it helps her feel better or just be available to sit and talk in the beginning of her labor when it''s not too exciting. You may also want to find out where she wants you to be positioned when she actually delivers the baby - by her head/shoulders or down at the foot of the bed watching. It''s very personal and every mom will have her own preferences.

When I was in labor my husband, mom, dad, sister and closest girlfriend were there with me. When I started pushing I kicked everyone out except for my husband and my mom. My mom pretty much was stationed at the head of the bed and my husband "assisted" as much as he could at the foot of the bed. I''m really glad they were both in there because my son was born early (36 weeks, 4 days) and had to go to the NICU immediately after birth for observation (standard procedure at the hospital) and then I had some difficulties delivering the placenta and hemorraged. My husband stayed with the baby and my mom stayed with me so it all worked out.

Sending my best wishes to your sister for a happy and healthy pregnancy!

Diva

 

[geckodani]

Thank you for the suggestions!

vespergirl - She has said that she doesn''t want anyone but her husband and me there, but I''ll mention the doula.

Diva - I think my personal preference is going to be to stay at the head of the bed, LOL, but I''ll ask her. Chapstick - I never would have thought of that!

I was already planning on bringing music (iPod and a mini speaker), slippers (I''ll bring socks too), books to read to her or have her read. Great idea on the powder.

We''re best friends as well as sister''s, and I''m mostly planning on being there just to talk to her during the boring bits, take verbal abuse instead of her husband, that sort of thing. I''m kidding about the verbal abuse. Well, mostly.

Run to get folks so my BIL can stay with her, that sort of thing.

Cool. Keep ''em comin ladies! I have no experience here, so not sure what else to bring.

 

[partgypsy]

warm socks, I second the music idea. If she has favorite munchies (for after the delivery!), Ducolax! (maybe TMI!). If she has a casual outfit like upscale sweats, etc that is nice to have, because the clothes you came in will be too loose but you will want something adjustable and comfortable. And a disposable camera!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

When I wasn''t pushing I was passed out so I am probably not the best one to reply but I loved having my own pillow and a super soft blanket from home. For recovery I used a mini fan nonstop (I had fevers though). I second chap stick, fun magazines, nice socks, nursing sleep bra and pads (if she is going to BF).

 

[Miranda]

Nothing. I wanted to be left completely alone. DH was allowed to sit in the corner and quietly work. I was a very quiet and intense labouring woman. That was pre epidural. Post epi I was my usual cheery self...Just tired. I would suggest lip balm and mints or gum. Labor is likely to be long...With lots of hard breathing. Nobody wants gross breath or dry lips!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 12/9/2008 3:37:16 PM
Author: Miranda
Nothing. I wanted to be left completely alone. DH was allowed to sit in the corner and quietly work. I was a very quiet and intense labouring woman. That was pre epidural. Post epi I was my usual cheery self...Just tired. I would suggest lip balm and mints or gum. Labor is likely to be long...With lots of hard breathing. Nobody wants gross breath or dry lips!

I wanted to be left alone as well. My dh was even asked to leave the room b/c I was too self conscious!

Basically a doula is a labor coach, so it sounds like it'll be your job! lol Good luck. FWIW, I hired a doula and was very unsatisfied with her. She didn't do anything but chat w/the midwife and nurses. DH paid her before I got a chance to tell him that she wasn't up to par. She LEFT the hospital as soon as it was determined I'd need a c/s. She didn't even stay to make sure my son and I were okay.

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

I''d give another vote for warm socks and chapstick. Also, some super nice mini toiletries for afterwards maybe? I asked the nurses to help me have a wash in the recovery ward because I''d been in labour for 17 hours then had a section, so I felt pretty grimy. DH had packed a little washbag with Joe Malone stuff, body wash and moisturiser. I have never been so glad to see toiletries! Can''t say I''d recommend a bed bath, but if you have to, you might as well use nice soap!

Congrats to your sister and kudos to you for being such a fantastic friend and support to her.

Jen

 

[somethingshiny]

I was well-organized so I had everything I needed. The things I thought I''d want-music, a book, etc, were not used. But, I was very grateful for my chapstick and lotion. You wouldn''t believe how dry your lips get when you''re panting and since I was in labor for so long and moving positions constantly, the lotion was fantastic. My legs and back got so dry from the hospital air.

When I was with my sister, I wish I had brought some sort of a massage thingy. Like one of those plastic knobby deals. All she wanted was to have her back rubbed the whole time and my hands ached.

Congratulations, how exciting!! GOOD LUCK!

 

[geckodani]

Date: 12/9/2008 3:24:49 PM
Author: part gypsy
warm socks, I second the music idea. If she has favorite munchies (for after the delivery!), Ducolax! (maybe TMI!). If she has a casual outfit like upscale sweats, etc that is nice to have, because the clothes you came in will be too loose but you will want something adjustable and comfortable. And a disposable camera!

Nothing is TMI! I''ve added comfy but cute sweats to the list.

And dulcolax, lol. Disposable camera - nice.

 

[geckodani]

Date: 12/9/2008 3:31:42 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
When I wasn''t pushing I was passed out so I am probably not the best one to reply but I loved having my own pillow and a super soft blanket from home. For recovery I used a mini fan nonstop (I had fevers though). I second chap stick, fun magazines, nice socks, nursing sleep bra and pads (if she is going to BF).

Great ideas!

Miranda- If she wants me to sit down and shut up then she''s got it, LOL. Mints... would not have thought of that. You ladies are awesome.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

geck, the hospital should give her a softener. I used an OTC one once I got home.

 

[geckodani]

Date: 12/9/2008 3:44:55 PM
Author: MC

Date: 12/9/2008 3:37:16 PM
Author: Miranda
Nothing. I wanted to be left completely alone. DH was allowed to sit in the corner and quietly work. I was a very quiet and intense labouring woman. That was pre epidural. Post epi I was my usual cheery self...Just tired. I would suggest lip balm and mints or gum. Labor is likely to be long...With lots of hard breathing. Nobody wants gross breath or dry lips!

I wanted to be left alone as well. My dh was even asked to leave the room b/c I was too self conscious!

Basically a doula is a labor coach, so it sounds like it''ll be your job! lol Good luck. FWIW, I hired a doula and was very unsatisfied with her. She didn''t do anything but chat w/the midwife and nurses. DH paid her before I got a chance to tell him that she wasn''t up to par. She LEFT the hospital as soon as it was determined I''d need a c/s. She didn''t even stay to make sure my son and I were okay.

OMG that''s horrible! I''m sorry your doula sucked.

Yeah, labor coach I am. But I''ve never done it before, so I''m reading, and asking, and learning as much as I can so I can do and be whatever she needs. She''s a high strung critter, but well organized, so I want to have as many bases covered as possible! I''ve been the only one that could talk sense into her since we were kids, so I guess I was a logical choice, LOL. I cried when she asked me.

 

[geckodani]

Date: 12/9/2008 3:51:39 PM
Author: Mrs Mitchell
I''d give another vote for warm socks and chapstick. Also, some super nice mini toiletries for afterwards maybe? I asked the nurses to help me have a wash in the recovery ward because I''d been in labour for 17 hours then had a section, so I felt pretty grimy. DH had packed a little washbag with Joe Malone stuff, body wash and moisturiser. I have never been so glad to see toiletries! Can''t say I''d recommend a bed bath, but if you have to, you might as well use nice soap!

Congrats to your sister and kudos to you for being such a fantastic friend and support to her.

Jen

Oh that''s great - I''ll get some reeeeaaally nice minis so she can clean up WELL and not with crappy hospital stuff. That''s awesome. And thank you.

I''m just honored she asked and want to be as helpful as I can!

 

[geckodani]

Date: 12/9/2008 4:02:27 PM
Author: somethingshiny
I was well-organized so I had everything I needed. The things I thought I''d want-music, a book, etc, were not used. But, I was very grateful for my chapstick and lotion. You wouldn''t believe how dry your lips get when you''re panting and since I was in labor for so long and moving positions constantly, the lotion was fantastic. My legs and back got so dry from the hospital air.

When I was with my sister, I wish I had brought some sort of a massage thingy. Like one of those plastic knobby deals. All she wanted was to have her back rubbed the whole time and my hands ached.

Congratulations, how exciting!! GOOD LUCK!

Massager! I can do that.

Lotion too. Awesome. You guys are great. Kiddo isn''t due until June, so I''ve got some time.


Chapstick. Wow. Who woulda thunk? I guess it really is the little things!

 

[geckodani]

Date: 12/9/2008 4:07:03 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
geck, the hospital should give her a softener. I used an OTC one once I got home.

Cool, good to know.

 

[somethingshiny]

I thought of an important role in the delivery room. Mama needs someone who she can count on to get rid of unwanted guests. For me it was my best friend (DH was too gutless!) All I had to do was nod in her direction and she would remove the offending individual (at one time it was my own mom, trying to sneak in the room when I was getting an epidural and saying "oh, you can do it, you don''t need that."). That way I didn''t have to deal with being irritated at stupid people, DH could keep his attention on me, and I didn''t feel guilty!

 

[Miranda]

I second part gypsy''s idea of food. She won''t need much during labor, but, she''ll be hungry as a lion after. Who knows if the hospital will have anything good. Her hubby may be hungry while she''s labouring so granola bars (or whatever he likes) for him are also a good idea.

 

[snowflakeluvr]

congrats on future nephew/niece! i''ve had five children and my practical suggestion is for her to take a roll of really soft toilet paper in her bag. like charmin with lotion, or other equally super soft bum-tissue. i had 3 large babies and after episiotomies, it was um very delicate and sore "down there" hospital t.p. is like the sear''s catalog....sounds like you are involved and going to enjoy this time with your sis-how wonderful for both of you. she''s blessed to have a sis like YOU

 

[iluvcarats]

I agree with everyone. I second MrsM about the toiletries. Something that is gentle and not to scented to wash with b/c the hospital stuff is so medicinal. Also, if she has a favorite tea, like Tazo or something, that might be nice to have. Also, if there is a baby book she has been using all along, like What to Expect, that could also be helpful to have.

 

[purrfectpear]

An electric cattle prod.

During 31 hours of miserable back labor, my hubby decided he was hungry. He left and came back with a smelly burrito which he ate in the room.

I so wished I could have zapped him into some serious pain with every contraction

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 12/10/2008 8:59:33 AM
Author: purrfectpear
An electric cattle prod.

During 31 hours of miserable back labor, my hubby decided he was hungry. He left and came back with a smelly burrito which he ate in the room.

I so wished I could have zapped him into some serious pain with every contraction

Soda snorted up the nose HURTS!!!!!

 

[geckodani]

Date: 12/10/2008 9:00:43 AM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 12/10/2008 8:59:33 AM
Author: purrfectpear
An electric cattle prod.

During 31 hours of miserable back labor, my hubby decided he was hungry. He left and came back with a smelly burrito which he ate in the room.

I so wished I could have zapped him into some serious pain with every contraction

Soda snorted up the nose HURTS!!!!!

Do does hot coffee! LOL!!!

 

[geckodani]

Date: 12/9/2008 6:05:01 PM
Author: somethingshiny
I thought of an important role in the delivery room. Mama needs someone who she can count on to get rid of unwanted guests. For me it was my best friend (DH was too gutless!) All I had to do was nod in her direction and she would remove the offending individual (at one time it was my own mom, trying to sneak in the room when I was getting an epidural and saying ''oh, you can do it, you don''t need that.''). That way I didn''t have to deal with being irritated at stupid people, DH could keep his attention on me, and I didn''t feel guilty!

Hee hee. This has already been discussed. My mother is forbidden to enter the room, LOL. We both love her dearly, but she would probably try to color code the IV wires or something (she''s a little anal). Deb (my sis) has already told her that it''s to be just me and her hubby. And my mom gets it, LOL. She knows she''s a spaz.

It''s a good thing to remember though! Deb shouldn''t have to deal with that. Good call. Thanks.

 

[geckodani]

Miranda - Munchies! With a hypoglycemic mom, sister and nervous eater husband - good call, LOL.

iluvcarats - The woman is addicted to Tazo. I''ll make sure to bring some!


You all rock. So many wonderful ideas!

 

[geckodani]

Date: 12/9/2008 10:46:09 PM
Author: snowflakeluvr
congrats on future nephew/niece! i''ve had five children and my practical suggestion is for her to take a roll of really soft toilet paper in her bag. like charmin with lotion, or other equally super soft bum-tissue. i had 3 large babies and after episiotomies, it was um very delicate and sore ''down there'' hospital t.p. is like the sear''s catalog....sounds like you are involved and going to enjoy this time with your sis-how wonderful for both of you. she''s blessed to have a sis like YOU

episiotomies give me the heeby jeebies. Charmin with lotion it is!

Thank you! I really am having fun.

She''s almost 5 hours away, so the week she''s due, I''m taking the whole week off, driving up there and praying the baby decides to appear on schedule.

We chat every day on Gmail, and it''s wonderful.

 

[Bia]

geckodani - I am so glad you started this thread! I will be in the delivery room with my cousin sometime in early January. I am, quite honestly, a little scared because I've never done this before and my cousin, well...she can be a piece of work when she's stressed out (help!

)

These are all really great suggestions, so thanks!

ETA: My cousins lives in Boston which is approx 3 - 3 1/2 hours away. I told her as soon as she starts feeling contractions, to let me know and I'll drive up. The reason I asked her to wait until she's in labor is because for my best friends delivery, a few years ago, I took a week off from school and work to be there. Only, since it was her first, she delievered a week late and I didn't get to see the baby

...
**Dust** that your sis delivers right on schedule

 

[geckodani]

Date: 12/10/2008 10:45:31 AM
Author: Bia
geckodani - I am so glad you started this thread! I will be in the delivery room with my cousin sometime in early January. I am, quite honestly, a little scared because I''ve never done this before and my cousin, well...she can be a piece of work when she''s stressed out (help!

)

These are all really great suggestions, so thanks!

ETA: My cousins lives in Boston which is approx 3 - 3 1/2 hours away. I told her as soon as she starts feeling contractions, to let me know and I''ll drive up. The reason I asked her to wait until she''s in labor is because for my best friends delivery, a few years ago, I took a week off from school and work to be there. Only, since it was her first, she delievered a week late and I didn''t get to see the baby

...
**Dust** that your sis delivers right on schedule

Yay fun for you! And my sis can be a piece of work too.

As for the week off... I don''t know what else to do. I can definitely keep a few days in reserve, just in case, but she''s so far away I might miss it if I wait for her to call.

 

[Bia]

Date: 12/10/2008 10:57:35 AM
Author: geckodani

Date: 12/10/2008 10:45:31 AM
Author: Bia
geckodani - I am so glad you started this thread! I will be in the delivery room with my cousin sometime in early January. I am, quite honestly, a little scared because I''ve never done this before and my cousin, well...she can be a piece of work when she''s stressed out (help!

)

These are all really great suggestions, so thanks!

ETA: My cousins lives in Boston which is approx 3 - 3 1/2 hours away. I told her as soon as she starts feeling contractions, to let me know and I''ll drive up. The reason I asked her to wait until she''s in labor is because for my best friends delivery, a few years ago, I took a week off from school and work to be there. Only, since it was her first, she delievered a week late and I didn''t get to see the baby

...
**Dust** that your sis delivers right on schedule

Yay fun for you! And my sis can be a piece of work too.

As for the week off... I don''t know what else to do. I can definitely keep a few days in reserve, just in case, but she''s so far away I might miss it if I wait for her to call.

Yea, there really isn''t much you can do--just cross your fingers that the times will work . My cousin is a very high-risk pregnancy and they think she might deliver early, so I sort have no choice but to wait and hear.

Congrats on her pregnancy btw!!!