Proposing without ring (time pressure)

[Regular Guy]

Lots of drama in this thread. But...not enough data for my taste.

You didn''t mention the proportions, did you? Who was going to set it.

You might consider bringing it to a Jareds, get their price to set it, and compare it to other AGS options. It may be dirty?

Right now, seems like you have no good theory on what''s wrong with the current item, apart that it doesn''t sparkle.

 

[radiantquest]

I think that since you will be in Paris that you should go ahead and propose. Now, I am not sure about a diamond district or other places to buy jewels in Paris, but its supposed to be one of the most romantic places on earth. I think you should propose, tell her you already bought a beautiful diamond, but once you had it in your hands you didnt feel that it was good enough for her and then ask if her if she wants to look at some to get ideas or whatever. Looking for an engagement ring in Paris after just being proposed to is incredibly romantic. Gives me chills just thinking about the possible memories it could make.

 

[Maisie]

I would stick to your plan to propose on this trip. If she has got her hopes up she will be incredibly disappointed if you don''t. I can imagine how sad she will feel if it doesn''t happen. Paris is the city of love! You have to do it there!

A couple of options for you. Speak to either Brian Gavin Diamonds or Whiteflash today and buy one of their in stock diamonds. I can assure you that you won''t be disappointed if you choose one of their signature stones. Have them put it in a plain setting (costing around $250) and have them overnight the ring to you. Then you can buy a setting for the diamond later on when you have time to look around.

If you don''t want to do that then pick out something pretty, like a sparkly diamond band and propose with that. Then tell her that you want to pick out the diamond and ring together.

 

[jaysonsmom]

Date: 5/21/2010 3:42:02 PM
Author: kenny


Uhm.

Hi Kenny,

I think all this "dieting" has left my brain a little slow....I don''t get what the picture means?

 

[Maisie]

Date: 5/21/2010 4:05:06 PM
Author: jaysonsmom

Date: 5/21/2010 3:42:02 PM
Author: kenny


Uhm.

Hi Kenny,

I think all this ''dieting'' has left my brain a little slow....I don''t get what the picture means?

Kenny is a he, not a she

 

[princesss]

Kenny, I''m so glad I finished my drink before I looked at that picture!

 

[treefrog]

Date: 5/21/2010 3:17:01 PM
Author: makewayhomer
I bought it from Blue Nile

it is

1.52 Carat, ideal cut (GIA), Si1, H color, excellent symmetry, passed HCA with flying colors. perhaps I am being harsh, it will certainly help to do a side by side

Can you give us the measurements you used from the diamond for the HCA?

I agree, a bathroom probably isn''t a good test. Especially if you''ve looked at other diamonds under store lighting. It sounds like it should have potential.

Treefrog

 

[makewayhomer]

yes, my comparison is store diamonds under jewelery store lighting vs my diamond in my office''s bathroom. not fair. looking forward to apples-apples comparison.

Measurements: 7.33 - 7.37 x 4.53 mm
Depth: 61.6%
Table: 57%
Crown Angle: 35.5°
Crown Height: 15.0%
Pavilion Angle: 40.6°
Pavilion Depth: 43.0%
Star length: 50%
Lower Half: 80%
Girdle: Medium to Slightly Thick, Faceted
Culet: None

 

[junebug17]

Date: 5/21/2010 4:31:52 PM
Author: treefrog

Date: 5/21/2010 3:17:01 PM

Author: makewayhomer

I bought it from Blue Nile


it is


1.52 Carat, ideal cut (GIA), Si1, H color, excellent symmetry, passed HCA with flying colors. perhaps I am being harsh, it will certainly help to do a side by side

Can you give us the measurements you used from the diamond for the HCA?


I agree, a bathroom probably isn''t a good test. Especially if you''ve looked at other diamonds under store lighting. It sounds like it should have potential.




Treefrog

I agree, maybe you''re giving up too quickly on this stone...could it be dirty? Diamonds are magnets for dust and oil...maybe you should start a thread over in RT and see what the resident experts have to say.

 

[treefrog]

A 1.4 on the HCA is good. On your behalf, I posted a message on RockyTalky. I hope you don''t mind. Hopefully, the side by side will tell a different story and you can proceed with your plan.

Here is the link

 

[jaysonsmom]

Date: 5/21/2010 4:12:07 PM
Author: Maisie

Date: 5/21/2010 4:05:06 PM
Author: jaysonsmom

Date: 5/21/2010 3:42:02 PM
Author: kenny


Uhm.

Hi Kenny,

I think all this ''dieting'' has left my brain a little slow....I don''t get what the picture means?

Kenny is a he, not a she

Oh, I get it now!

Thanks Maisie, I just needed a sandwich and a good talking to.

 

[Maisie]

Date: 5/21/2010 5:27:22 PM
Author: jaysonsmom

Date: 5/21/2010 4:12:07 PM
Author: Maisie

Date: 5/21/2010 4:05:06 PM
Author: jaysonsmom

Date: 5/21/2010 3:42:02 PM
Author: kenny


Uhm.

Hi Kenny,

I think all this ''dieting'' has left my brain a little slow....I don''t get what the picture means?

Kenny is a he, not a she

Oh, I get it now!

Thanks Maisie, I just needed a sandwich and a good talking to.

Yes. A sandwich will fix your diet brain. And maybe a cake or two.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Makewayhomer -- diamonds reflect light. If you look at it in your bathroom it will not sparkle unless you have ultra fancy pot lighitng

I think you are being too harsh on this diamond and will not find a more sparkly one out there. It is a top cut, take it for a spin and see what it looks like.

 

[NOYFB]

Date: 5/21/2010 2:38:23 PM
Author: waterlilly
If you don''t find a ring, I would buy a plain gold (or whatever metal you plan the e-ring / wedding band to be made of) band to give her. This ring can be worn with almost any engagement ring or wedding band in the future and she''ll no doubt have it forever never needing to repair it! A plain band can be worn at times when she does not want to wear the real E-ring she will be receiving, as a RHR, you name it. Don''t use a silly prop, use something that she can wear happily forever on her right hand as a memory of that day.

Have it engraved with ''will you marry me?'' inside.

Then have lots of fun taking your time to find the perfect e-ring for/with her. I agree with what someone else said -- tell her this is a major decision, she''ll be wearing the ring for the rest of her life and you want big decisions made by both of you - not just you, so you want her to have a say in the diamond ring.

I

this idea!!!!! Having it engraved with "will you marry me?" is perfect!!!!

 

[Circe]

Date: 5/21/2010 7:04:05 PM
Author: Lil Misfit

Date: 5/21/2010 2:38:23 PM

Author: waterlilly

If you don''t find a ring, I would buy a plain gold (or whatever metal you plan the e-ring / wedding band to be made of) band to give her. This ring can be worn with almost any engagement ring or wedding band in the future and she''ll no doubt have it forever never needing to repair it! A plain band can be worn at times when she does not want to wear the real E-ring she will be receiving, as a RHR, you name it. Don''t use a silly prop, use something that she can wear happily forever on her right hand as a memory of that day.


Have it engraved with ''will you marry me?'' inside.


Then have lots of fun taking your time to find the perfect e-ring for/with her. I agree with what someone else said -- tell her this is a major decision, she''ll be wearing the ring for the rest of her life and you want big decisions made by both of you - not just you, so you want her to have a say in the diamond ring.

I

this idea!!!!! Having it engraved with ''will you marry me?'' is perfect!!!!

Family heirloom wise ... I sort of *love* the idea of having your proposal engraved on the inside, and her response engraved on the outside the next day (if you are in Paris, possibly in French - oui?).

 

[galeteia]

Propose with engagement jewellery! Plenty of people do.

As a lady who is firmly in the ''give her the ring SHE wants'' camp (considering the huge range of tastes in settings and diamond shape), I consider the most romantic proposal to be the one where you give her the box with a little sumpin'' sumpin'' inside (earrings, pendant, necklace, whatever) and propose to her in a heart-meltingly romantic way, using whatever style of romance you two consider best.

Then, let her know that the two of you will get to go ring shopping together, because you want her to be happy. You can let her know that you had a diamond ready for the proposal but that when "you had it in your hands you didn''t feel that it was good enough for her" just like radiantquest suggested.

Don''t get into missed deadlines or anything, just propose and let her know that getting the RIGHT diamond is important to you, and her happiness with the ring style is your primary concern.


P.S: Also, after a few years on this forum, let me advise you to propose near the start of the trip so she can float through it on cloud 9 instead of a miserable, anxious mess as she spends every second thinking "Is this when he''s going to propose? Sob, he didn''t propose!

How about now? Sob, he didn''t propose!

What about now? Sob, he didn''t propose!

" because many a LIW on this board has ruined her vacation obsessing over whether every moment was going to be the moment.

 

[movie zombie]

why not propose and go e-ring shopping in paris? then give her the option of waiting until you''re home and can order up diamonds for approval..... its also a way of making sure she really gets what she wants as she''ll have input into the design. and by trying on rings in paris, well, she''ll see different options and never forget the experience.

mz

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Date: 5/21/2010 8:44:11 PM
Author: movie zombie
why not propose and go e-ring shopping in paris? then give her the option of waiting until you''re home and can order up diamonds for approval..... its also a way of making sure she really gets what she wants as she''ll have input into the design. and by trying on rings in paris, well, she''ll see different options and never forget the experience.

mz

Completely agree with this aproach, and maybe instead of the diamond, you could find a less expensive gemtstone ring with some built in "history" while you''re there as a momento from your trip.

After having just left Paris, there were about 100 antique jewelers within 100 metres of the Louvre with some of the most amazing pieces I have ever seen. Along the Rue St. Honore, there is a jeweler that had the most gorgeous antique diamond band for 300 euros, and I''m sure he would have negotiated. I could just imagine using that (or something similar) as a placeholder for now, and as a wedding band later on.

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

My DH proposed with a little pearl ring I love. He wanted to propose while we were in Ireland, but we couldn't go to get the ring until after that, so he got a sweet little for me instead. I love it and still wear it from time to time.

Make sure you clean the diamond. A girl was on here a few days ago wondering why hers didn't sparkle like the ones in the stores and it was because diamonds get the slightest smudge and lose all their glow. Just something to think about. Also take it into the sun, it can make a hige difference.

 

[luv2sparkle]

I think Maisie''s idea of contacting Brian is a great one.

But I just have to say, I said yes without a proposal or a ring. I just got a ''when we get married'' comment. DH has ''paid'' for that over the years, I love to tease him about it. It really only matters that you
love your girl and she knows it. Do your best to get done what you can to make it special, but chances are she will be fine with it.

 

[galeteia]

Can we get an update on what you decided to do? I''m dying to know!

 

[hearts-arrows_girl]

Date: 5/21/2010 1:02:46 PM
Author:makewayhomer
Well, I ordered a loose diamond from an online vendor, it arrived today, and I'm not happy with it. I am spending a decent chunk ($10k) so this is unacceptable to me. I need to find a diamond I love.


my gf just turned 30, and we are going to Paris in 5 days. This trip was her Xmas present from me. We have talked about the future, and my guess is she is expecting a proposal when we are there.


the trouble is now timing. I stupidly procrastinated, didn't leave time for a bad diamond selection, and now I'm not sure there is time to find a suitable diamond/ring. I am going shopping tomorrow to some legit places, so there is a chance I will find something I love.


but what if I don't? given my circumstances, it ok to propose with an alternate/birthstone ring and go ring shopping with her afterwards?


the other alternative is to just be up front with her: tell her I planned to have a ring by now, but I haven't found one I liked, and the big question will be coming soon...

The loose stone you got seems really nice on paper. I would have it set in a simple solitaire setting and take it to Paris. I'm sure your girl is imagining herself sacheting around Paris with her new rock on her finger, not a cigar band. If the proposal is THAT important that you can't wait, then saying yes with her new ring will probably be a key element in the event. (You can mention that the stone is not as blingy as you think it should be and let her have the choice of picking out a new one with you, if she wants) My ring looks TERRIBLE in some lighting and fantastic in other, so maybe you just haven't found this stone's sweet light spot. But first, get it set, then take it out for strolls to give it a fair shake at proving itself a sparkly winner - try the supermarket. Good luck! I'm sure the stone you got will look gorgeous!

 

[LAJennifer]

*bump*

Just wondering how this turned out.