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Proposal to my BF this Spring

Aerielle Max

Rough_Rock
Joined
Oct 12, 2017
Messages
85
Hi there! Need your advice.

I've been planning to propose to my boyfriend this coming spring, but I don't know how the society will take it.
We've been together for 5 years, no kid, just the two of us. I can no longer wait for him to propose as he is too busy with his work and every time I try to open marriage to him, he would divert the topic by talking about the issues happening globally like the on going pandemic, that this is not the best time to get married. I love my boyfriend so much that I want us to move to the next level to show I value our commitment with each other that's why I'm going to propose to him this spring. Seeking for your help about spring themed proposals .

Hope you'll help me. Thank you.
 

Cerulean

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
1,854
This is a big and exciting step in your life!

I would honestly still encourage you to push the conversation. My now husband and I discussed marriage and future expectations at length through multiple conversations before he proposed. We both knew we wanted children, we both knew we wanted to get married, get a dog, blah blah. There were NO surprises at all from either end, because we had those hard conversations before taking the next step. You must. Being too busy or distracted....is really not an excuse to avoid these conversations. If world leaders can set aside time to have personal lives, so can your boyfriend! If he can't set aside the time now, it won't get easier just because he says "yes". Planning a wedding and making those next steps together takes a lot of time and open communication.

I'm not discouraging YOU from proposing. At all. Gender roles are changing and it is a fun and accepting time to mix things up! But it has to be for the right reasons. You need to know exactly where his head is at, and understand the real story behind why he keeps changing the topic. If you propose anyways, any underlying issues won't go away and they will rear their head at some point, I'd guess. Communication is sooo important and starting an engagement off without that key ingredient is not setting you up for the greatest success possible.

This is my two cents...I am not trying to be harsh, I am trying to be honest. I do sincerely wish you two the best of luck.
 

bludiva

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 23, 2017
Messages
2,650

Aerielle Max

Rough_Rock
Joined
Oct 12, 2017
Messages
85
This is a big and exciting step in your life!

I would honestly still encourage you to push the conversation. My now husband and I discussed marriage and future expectations at length through multiple conversations before he proposed. We both knew we wanted children, we both knew we wanted to get married, get a dog, blah blah. There were NO surprises at all from either end, because we had those hard conversations before taking the next step. You must. Being too busy or distracted....is really not an excuse to avoid these conversations. If world leaders can set aside time to have personal lives, so can your boyfriend! If he can't set aside the time now, it won't get easier just because he says "yes". Planning a wedding and making those next steps together takes a lot of time and open communication.

I'm not discouraging YOU from proposing. At all. Gender roles are changing and it is a fun and accepting time to mix things up! But it has to be for the right reasons. You need to know exactly where his head is at, and understand the real story behind why he keeps changing the topic. If you propose anyways, any underlying issues won't go away and they will rear their head at some point, I'd guess. Communication is sooo important and starting an engagement off without that key ingredient is not setting you up for the greatest success possible.

This is my two cents...I am not trying to be harsh, I am trying to be honest. I do sincerely wish you two the best of luck.

You gave me something to ponder on. Thank you, I appreciate it!

I re-read your comment twice to absorb and see the realizations. And yes you are definitely correct, communication is so damn important. Thinking of it hurts me but it is the reality.

It is just that I feel that this Spring is a perfect moment to take it to the next level. I feel sunshine and good vibes. But with what he does whenever marriage is being talked about - I doubt his commitment to the relationship.

i agree with Cerulean - it doesn't matter how society will take it. What matters is you and your boyfriend are on the same page about your future. Best of luck on those conversations and the proposal! There is a nice thread of proposal stories, some very subtle and sweet, some very elaborate, here: https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/share-your-proposal-stories.256110/

Thank you, I will check the thread in a bit. I agree with you, with Cerulean - being on the same page is important. I feel we are not ;(
 

seaurchin

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 2, 2012
Messages
1,973
These are JUST my thoughts, based on what you've said above, so please feel free to disregard if I've misunderstood or it's otherwise not helpful.

I think of a proposal as coming about naturally after a logical progression toward it by both partners, where the one asking pretty well knows the answer will be "yes." But this seems more like an attempt to nudge a stalled relationship along because it has not made that progression.

If it's been five years but he's always too busy with work to discuss marriage or more concerned with the problems of the world or whatever, that does not sound to me like someone who wants to get married.

A proposal still might lead to a breakthrough of some kind, whether him snapping out of whatever his issue is, or you realizing he's wasting your time, or something else, who knows.

But in this situation, I just wouldn't do it if you're not prepared for the possibility of his answer being "no."

Best wishes and fingers crossed for you. :)
 
Last edited:

Ionysis

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 1, 2015
Messages
685
This ^^^

If he is dodging discussions on marriage I definitely wouldn’t be launching a proposal frankly.

Either he is trying to throw you off the scent because he wants to surprise you (which would be a red flag to me unless you’re both very young because it seems childish - two adults should be able to discuss this openly) or he is just not ready / doesn’t want to.

I strongly suggest having an open discussion on this.
 
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