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Proposal date discovered

Hospatogi

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 18, 2010
Messages
668
I was late to a friends birthday party and when I arrived most of my friends were well into their third glasses of wine. So when they saw me they teased me about being fashionably late and that I would probably be late to my own wedding. I said it wouldnt be for a while and they ended up telling me that my boyfriend came to them and told them he is proposing on july 4th. I know I should have told them that I didnt want to know any more details but I couldnt help myself and now I know how exactly how he is going to propose. I am feeling guilty because I know how much thought and effort he has made to make this moment special and I think he would be pretty upset to know that my friends spilled the beans. Should I tell him I know so that he has time to change it or should I just go with it and hope that I can fake being surprised?
 

iota15

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 19, 2010
Messages
1,278
Oh geez. I don't even know what to say. I'll start with CONGRATULATIONS!!!!


Um, but yea, can you girlfriends keep a secret when they have a few glasses of wine around your soon-to-be-new FI? They told you a pretty effing big secret. I mean - doesn't everyone know to keep surprise proposals a suprise from the intended fiance????

I'd be steamed if I were him. But I'd probably be somewhere between upset, disappointed and angry (and not necessarily with you) if I found out you knew all of the details before I made some elaborate proposal.

I might mention to BF that one of the girls (no names) was so excited and thought you were going to propose to me on July 4th! I'd probably leave out the specifics and let him work it out from there. Be prepared for the proposal to not occur on July 4th though. But also be prepared that he will propose on July 4th with exactly what you've already heard. Not a great situation to be in, but there certainly could be worse!

Personally, I'd rather NOT have to tell him. But can your girlfriends keep a straight face when you tell them he proposed and how in front of your FI? I don't know... hopefully other posters will have suggestions.

Congratulations again!!!
 

iheartscience

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 1, 2007
Messages
12,111
Oooooh tough one. WHY did he tell your girlfriends?! That's a big secret to keep for months and months, especially when wine is involved!

You know your boyfriend, so you'll have to make the call on whether or not to tell him. If you think the surprise element is really important to him, you might want to tell him. But if you think he's more interested in giving you a fantastic proposal, maybe keep quiet?
 

Hospatogi

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 18, 2010
Messages
668
Well he told them ahead of time so that they would have plenty of time to request time off and book flights from the tri state area to california since that is where hes from and where the proposal is going to take place. We all work in the healthcare profession and getting time off isnt easy especially since hospitals dont close on holidays and that is the time that most people request time off. He knew I would love it if my friends were there with me to celebrate so he told them last week believing they wouldnt ruin the surprise. His parents and my parents are also flying in so I think at this point telling him that I already know would require too much work on his part and everyone elses to change the date . And the good thing is that none of my friends are going to see him til the proposal so I think I will just have to warn my friends how important it is to not tell him I know about it. The good thing is that I def know to do my nails that weekend heheh :) Thanks for all the advice ladies ! :)
 

maebelle

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 28, 2010
Messages
826
That is very nice him to make sure your friends could come and celebrate!

It really is too bad you found out, but it's very exciting!
 

merilenda

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 20, 2010
Messages
816
If people have already booked flights, etc, then I would definitely not tell him. Just be clear with your friends to not let him know that you know. The fact that they won't see him again will help. They might feel a little bad in hindsight for spilling the beans and be willing to cooperate by not spoiling it for him. Sounds like he's put a lot of thought into this! Congrats! July 4th will be here before you know it! I always thought a July 4th proposal would be really romantic.
 

Hospatogi

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 18, 2010
Messages
668
I am getting super excited because I too always thought July 4th was a romantic time to get engaged and he knows how much I love fireworks ! We designed our engagement ring together and I knew that it was going to be completed this week. And ofcourse I got him to agree to send me a pic of the ring to tide me over until he proposed as I really was dying to see how to came out but I had no idea he already had the date picked out. In fact just earlier today he was teasing me about winter being the best time of year to propose. I think he was half expecting me to get upset and say that it should be sooner since the ring is finished however I just laughed and said it will be perfect whenever he feels its right. :)
 

rubyprincess

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 11, 2010
Messages
174
I concur. My first husband used a jeweler friend of mine and behind his back she called me and spilled all the details. I was sooooo bummed. I never told him I knew but boy was it disappointing. I'd say keep it to yourself.
 

suchende

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 14, 2008
Messages
1,001
Okay, so you know the most likely date & details. If I were you, I'd try my best to forget what you've been told, and possibly try to re-inject some uncertainty in your own mind (he told your friends to mislead you! he told your friends the wrong thing because he knows they can keep a secret about as well as a parrot! something came up and the date had to be changed!).
 

iheartscience

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 1, 2007
Messages
12,111
suchende|1304294389|2909511 said:
Okay, so you know the most likely date & details. If I were you, I'd try my best to forget what you've been told, and possibly try to re-inject some uncertainty in your own mind (he told your friends to mislead you! he told your friends the wrong thing because he knows they can keep a secret about as well as a parrot! something came up and the date had to be changed!).
Great idea!

After hearing how much effort he put into it and how elaborate it's going to be, I'm mad at your friends, too! I also get loose lips when I drink but I would have kept my trap shut about something like that!
 

iota15

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 19, 2010
Messages
1,278
I have to agree - I'm sure you love them but your friends are id#ots. Why would they do this?
 

DuckLovingVegan

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 31, 2010
Messages
253
Well congrats! I can't wait to hear the story and see pics when the time comes. It sucks that your friends couldn't keep that secret even thought they were drinking.
 

Hospatogi

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 18, 2010
Messages
668
True I am mad at them for telling me but they have really apologized for ruining it and really want to make things right. We all have been friends a really long time and I dont think any of them really meant to hurt me. I know they are just really excited for me because they know how much I love my boyfriend. I am hoping that it will be something we all look back on one day and laugh about..I havent reached that day yet but I hope I will get there eventually. I have been trying to put it out of my head but in truth its all I can think about. And every time I seem to turn the channel on it seems to be wedding related. I think I have seen segments of William and Kate's wedding at least three times on different networks this weekend And I even found myself unconsciously checking out a girls ring in the grocery line. So I think its going to be hard to forget about it however I did share it with my grand dad tonight. Hes been alittle out of spirits since his health hasnt been too good lately and he has always prided himself on being very mentally sharp for his age of 90 and very independent so hes been taking getting older pretty hard lately. He really likes my boyfriend so he was excited when I told him the news. Hes great at keeping secrets and I know he wont tell anyone else in fam. It was a great evening and really nice to see him so happy for me :)
 

merilenda

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 20, 2010
Messages
816
Do you think all these people who know will be able to keep it under wraps? I mean, even after the proposal? I think my FI would be really hurt if he later found out that I had known all along when he thought it was a surprise.
 

snoopkat

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 2, 2011
Messages
203
First up, congrats on the upcoming engagement:) Secondly, i'm so sorry your friends spoilt the surprise for you. I'm sure they didn't do it out of malice but it would still suck.

As for whether or not to tell your boyfriend, my advice would be to tell him. You don't have to go into detail, but tell him that your friends spilt the beans and they're very sorry. Maybe soften the blow and disappointment by letting him know how much you appreciate the thought and effort he's put into it and that you can't wait to spend the rest of your life with him.

Regardless of what's happened, it's still exciting to know that he's going to propose soon. can't wait to see hand shots of your ring :)
 

confusedaisy

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 4, 2011
Messages
362
Guilty Pleasure|1304292051|2909475 said:
Your friends suck.
I agree with the above and I second what snoopkat says- I would tell him. If only so I could not have a super guilty conscience- I mean, are you taking this secret to your grave? What if one day you're around your inebriated gf's and they spill the beans about spilling the beans? I would tell him, apologize for your friends, and tell him you appreciate how much thought he put into it. Then I would be able to sleep easy.

Also, BIG CONGRATS!!! :appl: :appl: :appl:

2 months is a long time to wait... we'll be here keeping you calm ;))
 

emeralddreams

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
29
You know him better than anyone else. You'd hate for him to be so mad that he doesn't want them at the wedding. He's put in a lot of hard work. Let it be something you two can laugh about together in the future, like your one year wedding anniversary, after you two have had too much wine yourselves ;-)
 

beesha77

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 16, 2010
Messages
249
First of all, your friends suck at keeping secrets. I'd be BEYOND P.O'd. And i would not tell him. Talk about taking the fun out of it!!
 

Hospatogi

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 18, 2010
Messages
668
Thanks for everyone's posts. I decided to tell him that I know when he is proposing because the idea of going into our marriage keeping secrets from one another didnt feel good to me. I didnt tell him who exactly told me or the exact details of the plan but just enough for him to know that if he continued with his plan it wouldnt be a surprise to me. And he actually laughed and said he was waiting to see if I would tell him what I knew because my friend already called him and admitted to spilling the beans ! He said he was mad at them but that hes come up with a new idea even better than what he had originally thought of so he said I am going to be really surprised. So I guess no July 4th proposal for me :( .. lets hope its sooner than later !!!
 

Amys Bling

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 25, 2010
Messages
11,025
Well a proposal us soo excite g whether you are surprised or not! I just feel bummed for you that they big surprise element wad taken away by your loose lip friends! I would hate to think of the disappointment you BF will feel if he finds out they spilled the beans ;(
 

slg47

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 4, 2010
Messages
9,667
Hospatogi|1304351917|2910033 said:
Thanks for everyone's posts. I decided to tell him that I know when he is proposing because the idea of going into our marriage keeping secrets from one another didnt feel good to me. I didnt tell him who exactly told me or the exact details of the plan but just enough for him to know that if he continued with his plan it wouldnt be a surprise to me. And he actually laughed and said he was waiting to see if I would tell him what I knew because my friend already called him and admitted to spilling the beans ! He said he was mad at them but that hes come up with a new idea even better than what he had originally thought of so he said I am going to be really surprised. So I guess no July 4th proposal for me :( .. lets hope its sooner than later !!!
well I'm glad it worked out, and I'm really glad your friend called him and told him. that was the right thing to do! seems like honesty is the best policy :)

anyway I hope it is sooner rather than later, can't wait to see your ring :) :) :)
 

Amys Bling

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 25, 2010
Messages
11,025
I just saw this... I'm gld you and the "spiller" were honest about the situation. :appl:
 

emeralddreams

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
29
I'm so glad it worked out for you. I guess you can't get too mad at your friends now. I am so glad that he is a lighthearted person and didn't get mad.
 

iota15

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 19, 2010
Messages
1,278
I'm so happy there was a happy ending and no deceit involved.

Congratulations! And you'll have to tell us what he comes up with!!!!

Until then, we're here for you. ;-)
 

Hospatogi

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 18, 2010
Messages
668
Thanks ladies for all the support ! I cant wait to come back and report the happy news ! :) :)
 

snoopkat

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 2, 2011
Messages
203
Oh I'm so glad everything worked out, honesty is the best policy :appl: I think your soon to be fiance will be proposing before 4th July, it wouldn't make sense for him to wait beyond that if he's already got the ring and a plan. And then your friends can celebrate with you when they fly down.

Lots of dust!! :)
 

gummy-bear

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 30, 2011
Messages
103
Hospatogi|1304351917|2910033 said:
Thanks for everyone's posts. I decided to tell him that I know when he is proposing because the idea of going into our marriage keeping secrets from one another didnt feel good to me. I didnt tell him who exactly told me or the exact details of the plan but just enough for him to know that if he continued with his plan it wouldnt be a surprise to me. And he actually laughed and said he was waiting to see if I would tell him what I knew because my friend already called him and admitted to spilling the beans ! He said he was mad at them but that hes come up with a new idea even better than what he had originally thought of so he said I am going to be really surprised. So I guess no July 4th proposal for me :( .. lets hope its sooner than later !!!
I'm happy to hear you and your friends came clean with your boyfriend. Hopefully you don't have to wait too long for Plan B :).
 

confusedaisy

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 4, 2011
Messages
362
Hospatogi|1304351917|2910033 said:
Thanks for everyone's posts. I decided to tell him that I know when he is proposing because the idea of going into our marriage keeping secrets from one another didnt feel good to me. I didnt tell him who exactly told me or the exact details of the plan but just enough for him to know that if he continued with his plan it wouldnt be a surprise to me. And he actually laughed and said he was waiting to see if I would tell him what I knew because my friend already called him and admitted to spilling the beans ! He said he was mad at them but that hes come up with a new idea even better than what he had originally thought of so he said I am going to be really surprised. So I guess no July 4th proposal for me :( .. lets hope its sooner than later !!!
OMG!! I was going to say that he might already know that you know!! He's tricky tricky!! :naughty:

Well, I'm happy it worked out and here's hoping that this shortens your wait! :cheeky:
 

Amber St. Clare

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 15, 2009
Messages
1,628
Guilty Pleasure|1304292051|2909475 said:
Your friends suck.

I totally agree. How immature and thoughtless. I hope you aren't thinking of asking these friends of being in your bridal party.
 
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