Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

Proofreading--a dying art?

Amber St. Clare

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 15, 2009
Messages
1,628
Can always use a good laugh. Here's some just for you!! Enjoy!!

Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?


Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter

This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.

I just couldn't help but send this along. Too funny.

***************************************************

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Really? Ya think?


***************************************************

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Now that's taking things a bit far!

***************************************************


Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

What a guy!

***************************************************



Miners Refuse to Work after Death

No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!

***************************************************


Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

See if that works any better than a fair trial!

***************************************************


War Dims Hope for Peace

I can see where it might have that effect!

***************************************************


If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Ya think?!

***************************************************


Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Who would have thought!?!

***************************************************


Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

They may be on to something!

***************************************************


Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

***************************************************


Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

He probably IS the battery charge!

***************************************************



New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Weren't they fat enough?!

***************************************************


Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

That's what he gets for eating those beans!

***************************************************


Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Do they taste like chicken?

***************************************************

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

***************************************************


Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Boy, are they tall!

***************************************************



And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right?
 

texaskj

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 31, 2010
Messages
1,196
Oh Amber......thanks for reminding me of some of the best laughs I've ever had at work. Sometimes the copy editor responsible for the goof can't ever see it and doesn't get the joke while the rest of us are rolling on the floor. Sadly, the problem now is most newspapers are shedding copy editors left and right and hoping for the best. One of my favorite personal catches was the wedding announcement that had the bride working for a pubic relations firm. Right before I started at the paper there was a classified ad for a house with a large backyard dick.
 

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
28,963
Hahaha. That reminds me of the famous Bloopers in Church Bulletins . . .

The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

Applications are now being accepted for 2 year-old nursery workers.

The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check, and drip in the collection basket.

Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service.
The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."

Don't miss this Saturday's exhibit by Christian Martian Arts.

We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the church building and the rector.

A worm welcome to all who have come today.

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions.
She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Nelson's sermons.

During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

The ushers will come forward and take our ties and offerings.

The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Reverend and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.

Let us join David and Lisa in the celebration of their wedding and bring their happiness to a conclusion.

Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.

The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success.
Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30p.m. Please use the back door.

The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?".
Come early and listen to our choir practice.

The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.

Hymn: "I Love Thee My Ford."

Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again" giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."

The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

Ushers will eat latecomers.

Tuesday at 4PM there will be an ice cream social.
All ladies giving milk will please come early.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.

Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch.
 

poptart

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 23, 2006
Messages
1,899
Amber,

These are wonderful, thanks for posting! I was literally laughing out loud while reading. My cat looked at me as though I had lost my mind... :shock:
 

rainwood

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Mar 29, 2005
Messages
1,486
Thanks, Amber. Those are so funny.

My proofreading pet peeve is any article about a disease or treatment that increases the risk of death. Or decreases the risk of death. Don't think so. The risk of death is ALWAYS 100%. Something can increase or decrease the risk of early death, but not death itself. Even the NY Times and the Wall St. Journal make this mistake a lot.
 

JewelFreak

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 3, 2009
Messages
7,768
Amber, what a great laugh! That's worthy of Kenny -- the best compliment I can think of!!

Rainwood, YOU should be a copy editor. I'm picky, but never caught that one!

--- Laurie
 

VRBeauty

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 2, 2006
Messages
10,294
Thanks, Amber - I really needed a good laugh (or two) today!
 

Amber St. Clare

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 15, 2009
Messages
1,628
Glad you all enjoyed them. Kenny, I'm going to borrow your Church Bulletin if you don't mind.
 
Be a part of the community It's free, join today!
    Good Customer Service Goes a Long Way
    Good Customer Service Goes a Long Way
    5.5 Carat Diamond Upgrade
    5.5 Carat Diamond Upgrade
    Style File: Julia Roberts
    Style File: Julia Roberts

Need Something Special?

Get a quote from multiple trusted and vetted jewelers.

Holloway Cut Advisor



Diamond Eye Candy

Click to view full-size image.
Top