promissory ring question. what is the basic rule?

[Dancing Fire]

on which finger do girls usually wear her promissory ring?

my daughter''s bf gave her a promissory ring and she wears it on her e-ring finger.

 

[LaraOnline]

I''ll be interested in the replies here, as ''promise'' rings are not a common custom in Australia.

 

[gwendolyn]

I don''t know if there is a rule as such; I''ve always heard (and said) that people should wear their jewelry where they want. My boyfriend has given me a few rings that people have thought were engagement rings because I wore them on my left ring finger (it looks and feels weird to me to have a ring on my right hand and not my left if I am right handed). I also had people asking me if the diamond ring I inherited from my grandmother was an engagement ring even though it was on my right hand.

So, in short, I think people will probably ask if it''s an engagement ring regardless of which hand she puts it on. Ring + Boyfriend + Ring finger = Engagement!! ...or so the people I''ve encountered seem to think.

 

[mia1181]

I wore mine on my left ring finger, but I have read people here on PS say you shouldn''t do that because people get confused and think it''s an engagement ring.

 

[ice-queen]

I''ve always thought that a promise ring goes on the right hand ring finger...and that the left hand ring finger was reserved only for an engagement ring. I always wore the ring my bf gave me on my right hand to purposely distinguish it from an engagement ring, and (more importantly) the meaning thereof.

 

[Beth]

Left. Sounds like Daddy is not impressed.

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

I have a friend who wears a promise ring and she wears it on her left ring finger.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 3/7/2009 3:34:29 AM
Author: mia1181
I wore mine on my left ring finger, but I have read people here on PS say you shouldn''t do that because people get confused and think it''s an engagement ring.

thats what my wife and i was thinking too.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 3/7/2009 5:19:56 AM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 3/7/2009 3:34:29 AM

Author: mia1181

I wore mine on my left ring finger, but I have read people here on PS say you shouldn''t do that because people get confused and think it''s an engagement ring.

thats what my wife and i was thinking too.

I think that a ring is a ring--it can symbolize all sorts of things (my grandmother''s ring in technically an engagement ring but it makes me think of her, not my SO, so it isn''t an engagement ring unless he proposes to me with it). An engagement only happens when two people have decided to get married, so maybe no one should assume anything until they''re told that they ARE engaged?

 

[Dancing Fire]

what do people call them?

a promissory ring or a promise ring?

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

Date: 3/7/2009 5:19:56 AM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 3/7/2009 3:34:29 AM

Author: mia1181

I wore mine on my left ring finger, but I have read people here on PS say you shouldn''t do that because people get confused and think it''s an engagement ring.

thats what my wife and i was thinking too.

Maybe it''s an age thing. I think if I got a promise ring now, being in my early twenties (my last year of my early twenties - sob) and in law school, people would assume that it was probably an e-ring because of circumstnances, y''know? But my friend got hers years ago while her and her BF were still in college (fairly early on too I think) so maybe that makes it less likely to be confused for an e-ring

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

Date: 3/7/2009 5:29:15 AM
Author: Dancing Fire
what do people call them?

a promissory ring or a promise ring?

I''ve heard it called a promise ring only, although it really means the same thing I think whichever you call it.

Although I can''t call it a promissory ring- it reminds me of promissory estoppel and that brings back bad memories of contracts class

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 3/7/2009 4:37:18 AM
Author: Beth
Left. Sounds like Daddy is not impressed.

with him or the ring?

 

[kama_s]

To be absolutely honest, I didn''t know the significance of the "ring finger" until 2nd year in university. I think I got my promise ring in 4th year, and I always wore it on my right hand ring finger.

Out of curiosity, how old is you daughter?

 

[paeony]

Wow, I had no idea that "promise rings" were so popular!
I think I kinda get the idea of what they are, but I still don''t really get the point....
Can someone clarify this for me?
(wait, now that I think about it, I guess I don''t really get the idea either.. )
Do promise rings represent different promises for different people or are they pretty universal?

 

[Kaleigh]

Does this mean engaged to be engaged? I thought of it as a promise to marry and to get engaged down the road? Back in my day, (

) we said we were pre engaged...

So DF how do you like your future son in law??

 

[purrfectpear]

Promise rings were all the rage in the late 60''s early 70''s. I must have sold thousands of them. The diamonds were tiny little chips. They were meant to be worn on the engagement ring finger.

They died out quickly, sounds like they''re making a come back? I secretly thought of them as "you''ll sleep with me now" rings

 

[MissGotRocks]

Date: 3/7/2009 5:29:15 AM
Author: Dancing Fire
what do people call them?

a promissory ring or a promise ring?

It''s a promise ring. When I hear promissory, I think promissory note!

I had two of these such rings and I always wore them on my left hand. Neither of the promises panned out. . . but I was the one that decided that!

Course, that was then, this is now. . . I don''t hear much of these rings anymore.

Can we see pics? Do you like the ring and the young man?

 

[somethingshiny]

Promise rings gained HUGE popularity around this area in the mid and late 90s. They were always worn on the left ring finger, and generally changed over to the right ring finger when an engagement ring arrived, although I''ve seen many resized for pinky rings too. Here it definitely means engaged to be engaged. They are often given in high school, as in, "we''re too young to be engaged, but I want to marry you". In fact, I don''t think I''ve ever seen anyone with a promise ring that didn''t get it in high school...

As an aside, I''ve also seen the girls birthstone given as a promise ring.


I bet your daughter is quite happy, so congratulations to her.

 

[AprilBaby]

Is this the daughter with the credit card? Maybe he will promise to pay all her bills!

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 3/7/2009 12:08:41 PM
Author: AprilBaby
Is this the daughter with the credit card? Maybe he will promise to pay all her bills!

Hehe, good one.

 

[Definitely. Maybe]

I used to wear it on my e-ring finger, until the thousands of questions from strangers asking when I was getting married began to annoy me. It is a .56 diamond heart solitaire, so I guess it is understandable to think that. I now wear it on my right hand, if at all.

 

[mia1181]

You know, there is a lot of Promise Ring Bashing here on PS and I really don't get why it bothers so many people. It's really not a big deal. It may not be your thing, but I don't really see why so many people are offended at a girl wearing a ring that isn't an engagement ring on her ring finger.

I wore one for probably 8-9 years! It was a thin yellow gold band (bent out of round from wear) with the fugliest brown frozen spit cheapest diamond on earth. But at the time I thought it was very appropriate for our age/status in life. I had to have been 18-19 years old, which would have been too young for us to get engaged. I thought it was a sweet gesture for my DH (then boyfriend) to shell out the $100 or whatever as a nice gift to show me. He was probably making minimum wage at the time and we were both in college. But he knew we would marry some day (and he was right) and it was just a gesture to show it. You don't have to marry or get engaged to be committed, and it's really just a simple way to show commitment. I actually didn't really care for yellow gold, but I wore it until he gave me my engagement ring. I had a few people think it was an engagement ring, so what? They thought I had a $100 ugly-diamond engagement ring... So? Why would I care what they thought? I had no problem explaining "no it's just a promise ring, we are still in college..."

It is interesting to me when we get guys in their late 20's or older saying they want to spend big $$$ on a fancy promise ring for their girlfriend. Yeah, I think that situation is not quite the same as a teenage couple, but if that's what they want to do.... Who am I to judge?

ETA- Actually I got it 8-9 years ago but I was engaged 4 years ago so I only actually wore it for 4-5 years. Oops.

 

[lyra]

Tell her right hand only. That way if other better suitors see her, they won''t make assumptions about her being engaged.

My daughter got a .25ct RB promise ring which she wore on her right hand, because the young man insisted that the only ring she should wear on her left ring finger would be the engagement ring he was going to get her eventually. They''ve been broken up for over 2 years now...

She tried to return the ring, but he wouldn''t take it back. Now it just sits somewhere in a box.

 

[Diamond*Dana]

I never really had a "promise" ring, but my DH did give me a little ring for our first Valentine''s day as a couple. I wore it on my left ring finger.

 

[Definitely. Maybe]

Date: 3/7/2009 1:21:21 PM
Author: mia1181
You know, there is a lot of Promise Ring Bashing here on PS and I really don''t get why it bothers so many people. It''s really not a big deal. It may not be your thing, but I don''t really see why so many people are offended at a girl wearing a ring that isn''t an engagement ring on her ring finger.

I wore one for probably 8-9 years! It was a thin yellow gold band (bent out of round from wear) with the fugliest brown frozen spit cheapest diamond on earth. But at the time I thought it was very appropriate for our age/status in life. I had to have been 18-19 years old, which would have been too young for us to get engaged. I thought it was a sweet gesture for my DH (then boyfriend) to shell out the $100 or whatever as a nice gift to show me. He was probably making minimum wage at the time and we were both in college. But he knew we would marry some day (and he was right) and it was just a gesture to show it. You don''t have to marry or get engaged to be committed, and it''s really just a simple way to show commitment. I actually didn''t really care for yellow gold, but I wore it until he gave me my engagement ring. I had a few people think it was an engagement ring, so what? They thought I had a $100 ugly-diamond engagement ring... So? Why would I care what they thought? I had no problem explaining ''no it''s just a promise ring, we are still in college...''

It is interesting to me when we get guys in their late 20''s or older saying they want to spend big $$$ on a fancy promise ring for their girlfriend. Yeah, I think that situation is not quite the same as a teenage couple, but if that''s what they want to do.... Who am I to judge?

ETA- Actually I got it 8-9 years ago but I was engaged 4 years ago so I only actually wore it for 4-5 years. Oops.

Maybe you are talking about other threads, but I didn''t see anyone bashing them on this one.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 3/7/2009 10:31:43 AM
Author: kama_s
To be absolutely honest, I didn''t know the significance of the ''ring finger'' until 2nd year in university. I think I got my promise ring in 4th year, and I always wore it on my right hand ring finger.

Out of curiosity, how old is you daughter?

22

 

[mia1181]

Um of course I was talking about other threads. I was talking about in general on PS people are not a fan of the promise ring. That''s all just an observation, while we were on the topic of promise rings and what finger to wear them.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 3/7/2009 10:50:59 AM
Author: Kaleigh
Does this mean engaged to be engaged? I thought of it as a promise to marry and to get engaged down the road? Back in my day, (

) we said we were pre engaged...

So DF how do you like your future son in law??

i don''t know him well enough to make a judgement.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 3/7/2009 11:21:36 AM
Author: MissGotRocks

Date: 3/7/2009 5:29:15 AM
Author: Dancing Fire
what do people call them?

a promissory ring or a promise ring?

It''s a promise ring. When I hear promissory, I think promissory note!

I had two of these such rings and I always wore them on my left hand. Neither of the promises panned out. . . but I was the one that decided that!

Course, that was then, this is now. . . I don''t hear much of these rings anymore.

Can we see pics? Do you like the ring and the young man?

thanks MGR. i don''t know these kid stuff. no pics, but it looks like a combo of small pink stones and diamonds.