Wedding Pre-wedding name change

[brooklyngirl]

FI and I have decided that we''ll be taking a new name once we get married. From what I understand, in order for us to do this he has to change his name before the wedding, Does anyone know what the process for this is, and if it can eb done in 2 months or less?

TIA!

 

[neatfreak]

It totally depends on your state, usually it involves going to court, so often no it can''t be done in 2 months. But if you have a very efficient court system and/or your state doesn''t require you to go to court for it (I don''t know any states that don''t though) you might be able to do it faster.

 

[Octavia]

Ditto Neatfreak. Although I think that CA lets both parties change their name to either existing last name or an entirely new name, I don''t know offhand of any other states that do. Check with the people at your vital records and statistics office, but be forewarned that you might have to go pretty far up the hierarchy to get actual answers -- I''ve heard many, many stories about workers in country clerks'' offices giving incorrect information in my state, and I wouldn''t be surprised if it happens elsewhere. So if they tell you something that sounds a little off, don''t take it as fact until you''ve confirmed it at a high level.

 

[brooklyngirl]

Thanks NF and Octavia!

I have to admit that I''m thoroughly confused by the process because I don''t even know what state we should do the name change in. We just moved to CA, but we haven''t changed anything over yet. So, we pay taxes to NY still (employer has yet to go through the process of changing them), have NY driver''s licenses. As such, could FI even change his name in CA?

Another question, when you go to city hall to get your marraige license, do they give you one with your name already printed, or do you fill that out prior to the ceremony?

Thanks again!

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 11/12/2008 1:42:39 PM
Author: brooklyngirl
Thanks NF and Octavia!


I have to admit that I''m thoroughly confused by the process because I don''t even know what state we should do the name change in. We just moved to CA, but we haven''t changed anything over yet. So, we pay taxes to NY still (employer has yet to go through the process of changing them), have NY driver''s licenses. As such, could FI even change his name in CA?


Another question, when you go to city hall to get your marraige license, do they give you one with your name already printed, or do you fill that out prior to the ceremony?


Thanks again!

First you need to change everything to CA if you are doing that just to streamline things. THEN you do the name change in CA. Which might actually be easier because it might be a state that lets your FI pick any name he wants too...but you''d need to call the county clerk to be sure.

 

[musey]

Date: 11/12/2008 1:42:39 PM
Author: brooklyngirl
Another question, when you go to city hall to get your marraige license, do they give you one with your name already printed, or do you fill that out prior to the ceremony?

I just went through the name change process in California.

You'd be best served by filling out the marriage license application online, just FYI. It'll then just be ready for you when you get to the county clerk's office. They'll have a pre-printed license for you to sign (which you do on the spot), then the witnesses and officiant sign on the wedding day. It took us about a month to get our certificate back, so that I could start the name changing stuff.

As for the name change process for your husband-to-be, here is a page with all the info you need:
http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp/other/namechangeadult.htm
I just googled "name change california" to get that. FYI, it's pricey, about $400 if I'm not mistaken, though that depends on your county's fee schedule. I figured that out before I knew that changing to my married name was different (no court proceedings and FREE) than just changing one's name in general.

ETA: Switching to California (driver's license, registration, etc.) takes about 2 weeks minimum, also, just so you know! At least, that's what it takes in my county (LA). So that takes your FI's time for the name change down to 1.5 months.

 

[brooklyngirl]

Thanks musey, and NF.

I figured switching everything over to CA would be time consuming, which is why I was considering doing the name change in NY.

On a slightly different note, our wedding is in NY, and I was wondering if we need to get the marriage license in NY or if it''s ok to use a CA marriage license if getting married in NY.

This is getting very complicated

 

[musey]

You need a license for the state you're getting married in, if I'm not mistaken.

Here's info for changing your name in NY:
http://www.nycourts.gov/courts/nyc/civil/namechanges.shtml
http://www.namechangelaw.com/states/ny/newyork.htm
(google is your friend

)


I think you'd be best off to call the county clerk in both your technical county of residence (in NY) and your new county of residence (in CA) to ask how long it would take in each place. At first glance, it looks like it's faster/easier and MUCH cheaper to do it in New York.

BUT, when you do your name change post-wedding, it'll be easiest to do so in your state of residence because you have to appear in person for some things. Or maybe this varies by state, too. You'll likely have to way the degree of complicatedness for both the pre- and post-wedding name changes and then decide which takes precedence... I'd strongly urge you to do that rather than just pick which state is easier for the pre-wedding name change without taking the post-wedding change into account, as well. (It's more complicated than most people think... ugh... and I'm only 1/3 of the way through!)

 

[Octavia]

Some interesting reading on the issue:
http://www.msmagazine.com/spring2007/changinghisname.asp
http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/parenting/home/in-the-name-of-love-20081027-59gb.html
http://abcnews.go.com/US/Story?id=2778930&page=2
http://www.californiaprogressreport.com/2007/05/why_did_26_of_3.html

Much of it isn't current, as things seem to have changed a lot in the past year or so, but it's good background info! (Full disclosure: I'm writing a scholarly article on marital name change laws, so I have lots of info about it...but since I haven't been working on it lately, my memory is kind of rusty. There are different laws in different jurisdictions regarding "combined names" and entirely "new names" -- for example, Mr. Villar and Ms. Raigosa becoming the Villarraigosas, as opposed to Mr. Brown and Ms. White becoming the Tans -- and I completely forget what the laws are and where).

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 11/12/2008 2:40:42 PM
Author: brooklyngirl
Thanks musey, and NF.


I figured switching everything over to CA would be time consuming, which is why I was considering doing the name change in NY.


On a slightly different note, our wedding is in NY, and I was wondering if we need to get the marriage license in NY or if it''s ok to use a CA marriage license if getting married in NY.


This is getting very complicated

You need to do the marriage certificate in NY if that is where you are getting married.

 

[kellybelly]

wait-- you are both taking a new name? not like you are keeping yours and hyphenating? wow, that''s interesting. i''ve never heard of anyone doing that, perhaps pardon my naievety (<--- spelling). can i ask why you both decided that way? i am very intrigued!

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 11/12/2008 9:18:00 PM
Author: kellybelly
wait-- you are both taking a new name? not like you are keeping yours and hyphenating? wow, that''s interesting. i''ve never heard of anyone doing that, perhaps pardon my naievety (<--- spelling). can i ask why you both decided that way? i am very intrigued!

I can''t answer for Brooklyn but I have a pair of friends who did this. Their reasoning was that they hate hyphenated names (and I don''t blame them, they get long fast!) and wanted to both show commitment to their new families and thought it was only fair that they both changed their names. So they made a new one up!

 

[kellybelly]

that''s an interesting way to look at it. i don''t really think anyone needs to change a name to show commitment, that a lot of people still do it because of tradition, legal ease, and if they have kids so the family all shares a name. did your friends just invent a new last name? i would feel weird not having my name OR his name. i plan on changing mine to his, but it doesn''t make me any less a part of my own family. and he will keep his, but that doesn''t mean he''s any less a part of mine. i guess a name can be nothing or everything, just depends on how big of a fuss someone wants to make over it. variety IS the spice of life!

 

[musey]

Date: 11/12/2008 9:35:06 PM
Author: neatfreak

Date: 11/12/2008 9:18:00 PM
Author: kellybelly
wait-- you are both taking a new name? not like you are keeping yours and hyphenating? wow, that's interesting. i've never heard of anyone doing that, perhaps pardon my naievety (<--- spelling). can i ask why you both decided that way? i am very intrigued!

I can't answer for Brooklyn but I have a pair of friends who did this. Their reasoning was that they hate hyphenated names (and I don't blame them, they get long fast!) and wanted to both show commitment to their new families and thought it was only fair that they both changed their names. So they made a new one up!

I tried to sell my husband on this, but it didn't fly. I even had a whole argument behind it (since he is not biologically tied to the name, as his father was adopted, we could just start a whole new family with a new name all our own) and a few surname possibilities. No go.

Oh well!

 

[ChargerGrrl]

Date: 11/12/2008 9:18:00 PM
Author: kellybelly
wait-- you are both taking a new name? not like you are keeping yours and hyphenating? wow, that''s interesting. i''ve never heard of anyone doing that, perhaps pardon my naievety (<--- spelling). can i ask why you both decided that way? i am very intrigued!

The mayor of my fair city (Los Angeles) did this.

when Antonio Villar married Corrina Raigosa, they combined their last names and now he''s Antonio Villaraigosa. OK, so not a totally brand-new name...

too bad they''re now divorced