Wedding Post-wedding blues, am I alone?

[Nocturnius]

I didn''t spend anywhere near as long on my wedding as a lot of other brides did. I hated planning the wedding, and I hated the wedding the day of. I was stressed out the day before (I cried at the rehearsal because my dad was giving me a hard time about EVERYTHING, like I had planned the world''s greatest disaster) and I was upset throughout the entire wedding. The groom''s family showed up with alcohol on their own accord and my venue had a strict no-booze contract that I could have been fined for breeching, the groom was an hour late, his family completely disrespected just about every single decision I had made (and paid for entirely on my own), leaving the reception was a disaster (the limo''s bar spilled water on my train, which had turned into a nasty yellow stain by the next morning)...

After it was over, I threw away every single bridal magazine and deleted every wedding-related picture, website and Internet bookmark on my computer. I sent the "wedding music" CDs back to my oldest sister, bagged my dress (after it was dry-cleaned) and put it in the attic, and put our left over invitations up there with it. I was so glad I never had to think about weddings ever again.

...but now, months later, I''m kind of bummed it''s over, and I find myself looking at other to-be''s inspiration boards and perusing the bridal magazines in the bookstore when I pass by. Even though I know my wedding is over and I am not having another one, I still look at "planning tools" and things like that.

Am I alone? Is this just because I had such a poor experience with my own wedding, or does everyone get these weird post-wedding blues?

 

[kama_s]

I dont have an answer for you, because I''m still engaged, but I''m awfully sorry about your wedding day experience. I was just thinking that perhaps you could do something small for your 1yr anniversary? Nothing as elaborate as the wedding, but something small and intimate with close friends and family that genuinely care about you?

 

[CrownJewel]

I am totally feeling your pain!! I hated, and I really mean HATED planning my wedding - I kept thinking that all the details are so time consuming and not worth all the time and effort. All the family problems, guestlist issues, money issues, etc really stressed me out.

I had a great time at my wedding, even though there were many things that did not go according to plan and lots of missing details that I had planned. I still have not thrown away my bridal mags (sad, I know). I''m hoping to make some kind of scrapbook of all my favorite ads, photos, etc. I am secretly hoping SOMEONE in my circle of friends will get engaged and ask me to help plan the wedding...

I walk past the new bridal mags and wish I could buy it. I guess I could - but maybe that''s going overboard. I need to move on, right?!!!!

 

[everlong_x]

Noc, you are definitely not alone. Here I am, almost 6 months after our wedding, and I can''t help but look back and think of what I could have done differently. I even look at dresses and wish I had worn something else. I think it''s something that will pass, but it doesn''t make it any easier to think about those "what ifs".

I have some co-workers who have recently gotten engaged, so I feel like I can live vicariously (again) through them, helping with colors, cakes, etc. It''s still sad, but it lets me get rid of the wedding planning urges.

Anyways, back to your question: No, you''re not the only one. I hope you can find something to help you get past these feelings. I know they''re not the best in the world.

 

[doodle]

i blame it on Barbie and Snow White. little girls are fed "wedding wedding wedding" from birth, so once it''s over, it''s a let-down. plus, love it or hate it, you''ve dedicated a LOT to it, so it''s kind of like raising a kid. your kid could be perfect or your kid could be a PITA, but either way, when it goes off to college, you miss the little brat.

you''re definitely not alone. i''m already living vicariously through my little sister, and i just got married on the 11th!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I wonder if you could put your energy towards something else? And something MUCH more fun than planning a wedding, like planning a vacation (you could even make it a vow renewal for your first anniversary--I think Kama mentioned somehting similar)! Or even something like a nice dinner party for your family, or friends, or both?

Do you think that the source of your blues comes from the void that is there after planning the wedding or is it specifically because you wish you could re-do your wedding?

 

[marchswallowbird]

I would definitely try to find another absorbing project to occupy your time. It''s pretty normal to feel this sort of let-down...you often feel it after a great vacation, too. I agree that part of it is due to inflated expectations of how things "should" be. If you find something else fun to throw yourself into, these feelings will pass.

 

[gtn]

Noc, you are not alone. I feel exactly the same way. Although my wedding had many issues and many thing go wrong, I still had so much fun. I told myself was going to let things slide and not worry about it, reminding myself, would it matter to me in 10 years?

I totally agree with the others who said that you should redirect some of your energy into a pet project. I can''t think of anything more perfect than planning or doing something you love. If you love to travel or go camping, plan something like that. Or you can plan to go to a show and dinner. It doesn''t have to be elaborate.