Please tell me to get over it & be happy....

[newlyobsessed]

Hi - I am new here, but have been reading posts for the last couple of months prior to my large Christmas purchase. My husband (with some input from me - I did pick out the stones) bought amazing 1.56 tcw studs for me for the holiday from a trusted jeweler we have been going to for a while. They are beautiful and sparkly. We brought them to a very well respected & highly recommended appraiser (his name has often come up on PS) and he told us they were great stones - wonderful quality for earrings - SI1, F color, ideal cut. So why I am posting?

Per the definition of eye-clean (12 inches away, natural light, etc.) they are. However, if I obessively look at one of the earrings, I can see a carbon spot. Not smack dab in the middle but sort of off to the side of the table near one of the prongs. I have to 1) really look for a few seconds with the diamond within 12 inches of my eyes, and 2) tilt the diamond often in order to clearly see it, and 3) it has to be certain lighting conditions - like my bathroom lights. Of course, now that I sort of know where to look, I feel like EVERYONE else must see it. And I am obsessing. Badly. I need to stop.

I can not bring this up to my husband. He would be absolutely crushed if he thought I was anything but thrilled. And I am - they are gorgeous. I mean, I didn't even notice the mark until days after I received them. I guess I just need a "they are earrings and no one will ever see this but you" talk from everyone. I feel crazy. How can I stop obsessing?

 

[solange]

No one will come as close to your studs when you are wearing them. And if you have to look for the inclusionwhen you know where it is, it is very unlikely that anyone else could possibly notice it.
Just enjoy them and what they represent as an expression of love. I am sure they are much more beautiful stones than most people use in studs.
Don''t forget, no one is looking down into the stone when you are wearing it. Only you will know it is there so I think you should just forget about it and not let it interfere with your enjoyment of the lovely gift.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Well, I am not going to be any help because I am in the same situation. I also bought some 1.5 ctw diamond studs at a jewelry show, supposedly to get them wholesale. The studs were represented as H SI. However, I waited too long to get them reset, and when I did, the jeweler told me they were probably a grade lower than I had been told. He said I did not overpay, but that I didn''t get a true wholesale price either. He showed me the inclusions under a microscope and it made me very unhappy. I had looked at them with a loupe, but I just couldn''t see them very well that way, not to mention, I am not a diamond expert. Now I just want to sell them and start over. I am currently working on an e-ring upgrade, and I just won''t look at anything other than VS to avoid that problem. The inside matters to me even though other people can''t see it.

So, I guess if it was me, I''d say get it straightened out now or you''ll later be stuck like me not able to return them and never being satisfied. If I can''t sell them, I''ll probably save them for one of my daughters and get myself some better ones. Incidentally, you could easliy drop to G or H in the color and go up to VS to still have white diamonds and better clarity. I would hope that your jeweler would value your business and be willing to search for some other diamonds that would please you more. I will likely look for G-H VS2 when I try to replace my studs.

 

[Sundial]

Okay first of all stop examining your studs up close. No one else is going to check them over like that. Set them on the bathroom counter while you are doing your hair and admire how sparkly and gorgeous they look under the lighting. That''s how others will see them! As Solange has stated they are MUCH better quality than most of the earrings out there. F SI1 is a fabulous combination. My new studs are H SI2, but they are well cut which is all I am concerned with.

 

[diamondsrock]

I''m more than sure NOBODY will ever see that tiny spot which you''re obsessing over. I know how it feels to obsess over things but in reality this is something only you will ever see. If they are well cut stones and as pretty as they sound, all people will see is the size (they sound really big!) and the sparkle. I wouldn''t give it another thought, you could drive yourself nuts thinking about it. Just think that very very few diamonds are perfect and at least if you ever take it to the jeweler you''ll know it''s your stone you''re getting back after any repairs because you''ll be able to recognize the inclusion. If it was a ring it would drive me nuts as I would be looking at it every minute but as an earring I would let it go. Even if you told someone they''d probably say, what spot? I don''t see any spot? What are you talking about? So just enjoy the earrings and don''t worry. I''m sure they are beautiful! So if you like these earrings wear them in happiness!

 

[widget]

Hi, Newlyobsessed...

If it''s any consolation, you''re not alone with diamond obsession problems! It''s a common ailment around here..

Your new earrings sound absolutely gorgeous, probably finer than 99% of the studs out there. If they''re SI-1s, then whatever you''re seeing can''t be much.

Would it be possible to think of the "spot" you''re seeing as a beauty mark? Something that makes that diamond special and individually yours? Just a thought.

Part of me wants to say: Get over it, girl!!! Love and enjoy your new treasure!

And by the way, welcome to PS!

(Did I mention that you''re not alone?

)

widget

 

[newlyobsessed]

can I just say THANK YOU!!! It was difficult for me to write my original post, but it also helped me realize that I am being bratty and crazy. I''m a perfectionist - which is not a good thing. Thanks for all your thoughts. I actually was just doing my hair in the bathroom, and I set up my studs as suggested. Even though my bathroom has terrible lighting - the earrings still looked wonderful & I stopped focusing on where I though the spot was. Thanks again - this board is so friendly & helpful

 

[valeria101]

Date: 1/21/2006 10:41:42 AM
Author:newlyobsessed

I need to stop.

One vote for that!




How can you stop? Dunno... How about a scientific, double-blind test

Can you take the earrings off and put them back so that you don''t know in which ear the diamond with the mark is and try to guess by looking in a mirror like someone would from as close by as socially acceptable? If you can guess right which diamond is which... this was a BAD idea.

Just a joke, of course

Wear them in good health: 1.5cts F-Si1 sounds like a earring recipe made in Heaven!

 

[strmrdr]

get over it & be happy

Picture that if someone gets that close you punching them in the nose then think of how many times you had to punch someone in the nose because they were too close to your ears.
see it dont happen does it?

 

[Patty]

Get over it and be happy!

 

[Madam Bijoux]

Hello! Don''t let one little imperfection blind you to the overall beauty of the stone.

 

[Kaleigh]

They sound gorgeous and no one is going to be able to see it when you are wearing them. Actually I would think of it as a beauty mark where you can identify the stone in case you need your studs to be repaired or if you ever want to re set them say to a 3 prong martini setting etc... So don''t obsess any more and enjoy them. Oh and post some pics cause they sound lovely!!!!

 

[Mara]

Here''s a short tale...previously had a pair of 1ctw earrings, they were sold to us as H VS. Well turns out 2 years later we find out they are more like N SI''s. The jeweler replaces them and we end up with G VS/SI. But they were still horribly cut and I mean horribly. FF to the future where I get a small pair of super ideal .72ctw earrings that are I SI2. They look the same size pretty much as my old 1ctw set and even though I dropped 3 color grades to I and went down to SI2 they are breathtaking. Do they have inclusions in them? Of course. Did I look for them? Not really because the day I got them I was distracted. But also I have learned that many times it does not pay mentally to scrutinize your jewelery ESP if you are buying an SI1 or SI2. If you get a VVS or something, sure you probably want to ensure that you can''t see a whit of anything in that stone. But for me otherwise you are just asking for mental trouble.

This new set of earrings sparkles like the dickens, they look fabulous, all ANYONE ever sees is the blinding sparkle coming off them. No one knows they are I''s or SI2''s, all I get are dazzling compliments on how beautiful they are. And no one has ever swooped up to my ear to check them out up close OR with a loupe.

So here''s the bottom line. STOP obsessing. Of course it''s easy to obsess over small things but because you can see a certain spec in certain lighting at a certain inchage away doesn''t mean anyone else sees anything but sparkle.

And same to you diamondseeker....!! Seriously for earrings I don''t put 1/2 as much of the mental effort into thinking or worrying about this kind of stuff as I do a ring that EVERYONE is going to be jamming up to their eye and looking at. There are more important things to be worrying about...like your NEXT diamond project!

Wear those studs and enjoy them and know that no one sees a thing but sparkles thanks to the cut.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Thanks, Mara! I am really just mad at myself for trusting what someone told me without having a certificate! Please kick me if I EVER make that mistake again! I may pay a premium, but from now on, anything more than melee will have a GIA or AGS cert with it! My earrings are beautiful to others. I think it is just the mental thing of knowing I dealt with dishonest people and I allowed it to happen by not examining them more closely. Therefore, if I could get rid of the earrings, I could do it over better! But you have made me feel better in the event I save them for my daughter!

 

[Lynn B]

Date: 1/21/2006 12:59:50 PM
Author: Mara
...But for me otherwise you are just asking for mental trouble.

Well said! I totally agree. And believe me, I'm as *NEUROTIC* and *PERFECTIONISTIC* (I say with pride!

) as the rest of the PSers around here!

However, I can honestly say that I truly don't think that being about to see that small spot in the earring if I am facing west during a full moon, have my glasses on, tilt the stone 18.6 degrees, and crane my neck

would bother me. I am so not minimizing your situation, believe me. (That "mind clean" issue is very real!) But those sound like gorgeous, KILLER DIAMONDS

and if you gotta strain THAT HARD to see one tiny pinpoint spot, then BELIEVE ME, NO ONE ELSE is noticing! I promise!

My advice? Enjoy those earrings, they sound FABULOUS!

NOW, where are the pictures???!!!!

 

[MissGotRocks]

I understand your dilemma and I understand that the advice given here is good. Earrings shouldn''t come under the same scrutinty that erings do but. . . . I bought a pair of earrings and one of them had a black inclusion in it. I knew it when I bought them but thought it would be ok. Like Mara, I am not fond of louping and checking etc. because you just drive yourself crazy. Nothing is ever perfect - but that spot bothered me. No one ever knew it but me and the jeweler and I wore them and didn''t obsess about it but just didn''t like it. For the $$ I paid, I thought I shouldn''t have seen a black inclusion. Anyhoo, when I went to have them checked, that diamond was chipped. Apparently when the setting was changed from screwback to regular posts someone chipped the stone. The store replaced the diamond for me with a stone that had no inclusion. That was just a lucky break - I''ll probably end up upgrading these one day too. At least now I know more about what to look for. I don''t want superideal earrings - waste of money to me - but I will definitely be a more enlightened shopper now!

Wear them and enjoy them - you will probably trade up one day too. Don''t vendors at these shows take merchandise back in trade sometimes?