Wedding Please help wtih travel decision for this week!!

[meresal]

I need everyone's input. Please help me...

FMIL is using a coordinator/planner for the RD. She's traveling to see her for the initial meeting this Thursday, and asked if I wanted to go with. It will be to introduce ourselves and go over budget I assume. I got my manager to give me the day off, and when I called to tell FMIL on Friday, she didn't offer to pay for the flight.

I can understand this considering she gave FI and I a very generous check for all things wedding related, it just caught me off guard. So here I am looking at a flight that will be about $280. We will only be there for 4 hours, from landing in the morning to take off again that day, to go home. Neither FI nor I don't want to spend almost $300 of our budget for a one-day flight and a meeting that will only last an hour at the most.

It is only 3 hours away, so feasibly I could drive there in the early morning, and then leave from the airport when she gets on her plane. She has sheduled a driver for the day, so I would park my car at the airport all day.

-FI told me to tell her it's not in the budget, but I think that would be a slap in the face to her considering the money she gave us. She would think that it just isn't important enough to me to spend the money on.
-My mom said to tell her something came up at work, which is true since my Friday is going to be a very long one considering all the work I will be putting off on Thursday. The end of the month is extremely hectic for us.
-I think that I should drive.

Do I....

Cancel, and say something major at work came up.
Fly, and use the "Wedding" money she gave us.
Drive, and spend 6 hours of my day on the highway.

 

[Shoopy]

I voted cancel and say its not in the budget.

I''m speaking from my perspective here. If I gave someone a huge check for a wedding (or something else) and that person came to me and said "I would love to go with you but we are trying to use our budget wisely" I would be fine. It shows that just because she gave you a check, it doesn''t mean you''ll be inconsiderate towards costs.

You can also throw in a "I really trust your judgment so I know the meeting will go well" or something.

If you really feel like going, then I would do the flight. With gas, you''ll probably spend just about the same.

 

[meresal]

Date: 10/28/2008 9:32:13 AM
Author: fieryred33143
I voted cancel and say its not in the budget.

I''m speaking from my perspective here. If I gave someone a huge check for a wedding (or something else) and that person came to me and said ''I would love to go with you but we are trying to use our budget wisely'' I would be fine. It shows that just because she gave you a check, it doesn''t mean you''ll be inconsiderate towards costs.

You can also throw in a ''I really trust your judgment so I know the meeting will go well'' or something.

If you really feel like going, then I would do the flight. With gas, you''ll probably spend just about the same.

Thanks Fiery. I appreciate it. I''m starting to lean more towards the flight, since I''ll be driving back home to Houston on Friday as well. That''s alot of car time.

I think I just need to stop thinking so much about what that $280 "could" buy for the wedding, and realize that I can regain $280 in the next 9 months. It''s just the principal of spending that much money for one day... It''s the kind of spending that I don''t do.

 

[Lanie]

She hired a coordinator for the rehearsal dinner??? Where is the rehearsal dinner if the wedding is in Houston??? Or, is the coordinator in another city, but the dinner is in Houston?

 

[bee*]

Personally I''d drive there. I wouldn''t say anything to your FMIL about the flight. I''ve often driven about three hours to the mid-west of Ireland and back again on the same day. It''s tiring but not undoable.

 

[meresal]

Date: 10/28/2008 10:31:13 AM
Author: Lanie
She hired a coordinator for the rehearsal dinner??? Where is the rehearsal dinner if the wedding is in Houston??? Or, is the coordinator in another city, but the dinner is in Houston?

LOL!! Lanie, you just made my day.

Yes we have a coordinator for the RD, she has elderly parents that she is currently the primary caregiver for. She won''t have a lot of time to plan anything, and she wants it to be great. Which I am all for, but am amused at the fact that it could be much better than our actual wedding. LOL. She hired Donnie Brown''s agency from Who''s Wedding Is It Anyway. I really want to see this place and meet this guy!

The wedding and RD are going to be in North Texas, and the coordinator is in Dallas. My FIL''s live in Houston, where I normally live, but am working out of Austin because of the Hurricane.

 

[meresal]

Thanks bee*- Driving seems to be the overwhelming response. The only reason I shy away from it, is because I will be driving 3 hours back to Houston at noon on Friday as well.

*Also, since I am working in Austin, they pay me per mile I drive during the week. So technically I would get paid to drive back and forth, where as, a flight won't be reimbursed.

 

[neatfreak]

I hate to say this, but you want to take a flight for 3 hours? My guess (and this is only a guess here!) is that your MIL is expecting you to drive if it''s only 3 hours...

Whatever you do I agree you shouldn''t say anything about the budget considering the check she gave you. What do YOU want to do? Is it really important for you to be at the meeting? If not, I''d just skip it, tell her you trust her and that something came up at work.

 

[DiamondsforDee]

By the time you drive to the airport, park, get in the terminal, check in, go through security, wait an hour, take the flight, and leave the airport you''ve probably already spent 3 hours traveling. That''s assuming your flight is on time, which we all know doesn''t always happen. I''d drive it. I also agree that your FMIL probably assumes you''d just drive it; I certainly would if I were in her position. And I just saw you get mileage for the drive- definitely drive! Think of it as making your FMIL happy while earning money to put towards the wedding.

 

[Shoopy]

You know what...for some reason I read 6 hours of driving to get there.

Three hours of driving for me is going to visit my mom in Orlando. The time flies.

Would you be willing to maybe ask your FMIL to drive with you? Do you live in the same town?

 

[marchswallowbird]

What difference does it make to FMIL how you get there? I would think this is your decision, and really none of her business.

Cancelling after you said you would go is, to me, the epitome of rudeness. Especially if you are lying about it. You should have asked questions and pinned down the details before you committed yourself.

To me, a three-hour drive is nothing. Get a book on tape and pack a mini-cooler with some drinks.

 

[blondebunny]

I voted drive there--- With gas being on the cheap end it shouldnt cost too much (considering u dont have SUV or something) and then u said you get reimbursed, so thats even better...

WHenever I have to drive 3 hours... I usually just make a good playlist with a bunch of sounds and just play it really loud and sing along

I just watched on of Donnie Browns wedding on WWIIAW... i like him, he seems like he really cares about his brides!

 

[Sabine]

Well, do you want to be there? Are you having any say in the RD? If not, then I would cancel, but explain to her that you trust her to make all the decisions, and then throw in that time off work would be difficult right now if she needs more of an excuse.

If you do want to be there or are getting the feeling that FMIL is having trouble making the decisions herself, I would drive.

 

[meresal]

Fiery: She will be flying in from Houston. I'll be driving by myself.

MSB: Obviously the last thing I want to do is cancel, and I won't be lying about it. I just don't think I'm expected to pay $280 to fly 200 miles, for a few hours. No, I know it isn't her business how I get there, but considering we are meeting at the airport, then it is appropriate for me to tell her where we'll be meeting. (ie, If I don't fly, I can't meet her in the terminal) Thanks for you help

BB: We won't be working with Donnie, it will be one of his "people". I just hope they make the whole thing alot easier for FMIL, since that is what she really needs right now. There are some pretty decent radio stations on the way up there, I'll be good!! Thanks!

Sabine: I'm not sure if I want to be there, but I know I need to be there. This meeting is strictly to meet and talk about their budget. It is completely separate from the wedding budget. I really hope that the coordinator has some ideas about locations when we get there, so we can actually try to make some decisions.

 

[elrohwen]

I voted to drive. I've spent many 6 hours days in the car (3 hours to a manufacturing plant, a few hours there working, and 3 hours home) so i guess I don't think it's so bad. Plus, if your car gets good gas mileage it's really not very expensive (especially compared to a $300 flight).

It seems like you think your FMIL would be offended if you didn't go because she's giving you money for the wedding and wants you to meet the planner, etc. So if it were me I would suck it up and make the drive to not offend her. Would FI go with you? That would make the drive much more bearable, but from your post it sounds like he wouldn't be able to go.

ETA: I just saw that you get reimbursed for miles. Definitely drive! I actually make quite a profit driving my own car for work (especially since the rate is now up to $0.58 a mile). Unless your car has really poor mileage your company will be paying you to drive somewhere for your wedding. Go for it.