Wedding Party in our honor, but unfair family ratio... advice?

[Clairitek]

Date: 11/17/2008 12:59:18 PM
Author: mia1181

Update! Good news. DH called her last night and worked it out. He told her that he was uncomfortable with the fact that she was calling it a reception. He said the reason we eloped was so that we wouldn''t be in this situation of inviting relatives we just aren''t close to and to avoid the whole ''fairness'' issue. He told her we were happy with no party at all, but if she still wanted a party that maybe she should consider only immediate family, especially considering their financial situation. She was fine with it. They decided to have a small party with Parents and Siblings Only and then if other family members are interested they can come over to her house and see us at another time. This way she isn''t paying for all of their meals at the restaraunt. I was actually surprised that she didn''t think it was that big of a deal. Part of me wonders if she knew it was a bad idea and was just waiting for us to give her an out. Oh and the best news of all... FIL WAS CALLED BACK TO WORK!

. So everyone is happy now!

I''m so happy to see that this was resolved! You must be relieved. Also great news on your FIL being called back! A great start to the week I think.

 

[meresal]

Glad to hear everything has worked out! What a relief!

 

[HollyS]

Your MIL is planning a party in honor of your marriage to her son. She is not throwing a wedding reception. She can actually invite whomever she wants because it is her party. For her family to make up 2/3 of the guest list is not a real problem, is it? If you want a party for your family, could you not have one?

If you know her well, and think she is not slighting your family on purpose, let it go. If you know she''s being a pain-in-the-whatsit, don''t let her annoy you. I see no reason not to be just as gracious as you can be. If she loves you, your happiness and gratitude for the party will mean a great deal to her. If the two of you don''t see eye to eye, then don''t give her the satisfaction of hurting you.

I wouldn''t bring up the guest list at all. Now or ever.

 

[iheartscience]

Glad to hear it all got worked out! I agree that a party with all his family and just your parents would have been a little strange, not to mention their money situation. But good news on your FIL!

 

[KimberlyH]

So glad there''s a happy ending!