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Home Parents - would you give a false address...

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TravelingGal

TravelingGal

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...if it meant your child would be able to attend a much better school?
 
Wow, this is a tough question.

I''m interested in seeing what how everyone responds.
 
hahah that's funny
I hate breaking rules so much that I would be terrified to be found out.
I *could* consider renting a house in the desirable suburb for the first year, over here if they are accepted into the school they are then able to live elsewhere and attend. Not sure about younger siblings, probably they would be accepted too.

Just make sure you get into EXACTLY the right street, the closest public school to me actually cuts off their intake about half a block up my street!
 
FI''s parents did this so FI''s little brother could go to a better school. They live in a poor area and the public schools there are overcrowded, unsafe, and ineffective. In the neighboring town where there is more money, the school system has an awesome reputation and is quite safe.

Is it right? No. But neither is the fact that two public schools within miles of each other have such drastically different levels of educational success, or that children of poor parents are all but forced to attend the worse schools because of the way we fund our school systems.

I''d do it, if I had to.
 
If I had to, I would use a family members address to get my child into a better school.
 
No. I would move, change jobs, homeschool, or whatever else I could honestly do, though.
 
not a parent, but...

IMO, only if the child wanted to.

in my neck of the woods, i believe the authorities do check, since this sort of thing is so rampant.

in most areas, there are magnet schools. my brother and I attended magnet programs which were held in the most poor-performing schools in our otherwise very upper-middle class district. we wouldn't trade the experience. he is currently arguing with my parents who want him to take AP Physics, but he wants to stay in band.
 
Date: 8/21/2008 9:07:14 PM
Author: ahappygirl
No. I would move, change jobs, homeschool, or whatever else I could honestly do, though.
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I''d probably do this, too.

Hubby and I just paid A LOT of money for not a lot of house, and we did it because we love the school district. We don''t have any children yet, but we will. I''m a public school teacher, so this is obviously important to me.
 
No. But can see why people would do this, but seriously would be afraid of being found out. Once that happens your child is SOL. Not worth the risk IMHO.
 
No...just too much of a lie for me, it would make me uncomfortable personally. But we WOULD be willing to sacrifice a lot of house to live in a better school district in the first place. I'd much rather live in a small modest house in a neighborhood with a great school than a mansion in a bad district...
 
No.

It means a school district has to pay for a non-resident. And it means a resident is not getting what they are entitled to.

Our school district is desirable and people try all the time to lie about their residency to get in. Some get away with it but when residents have to be turned away because there isn't enough room it's quite unfair.

The non-resident families get found out about and eventually have to transfer their kids to their real school. It's unfair to those kids who have to switch schools, not to mention the fact that their parents tell them to "tell the truth" but are lying themselves because it is to their advantage.
 

My husband and I are buying a house and we''re checking out all of the school districts. I''m not sure if we''re going to be that successful, so my alternative options would be private school or home school. I don''t want to look over my shoulder all of the time (if you know what I mean).

 
How are the "liars" found out? I''m very curious now, as I''ve never seen this happen in real life.

I could not agree more with you, Neatfreak. When hubby and I were house-hunting we found all these neighborhoods with monster homes that were extremely affordable, but it always came down to the location and the school district. I''m glad we chose a small home in an outstanding area rather than the opposite way around. In fact, my parents did the same thing for us girls when we were young, they moved us out to this teeny tiny home in a knockout school district, and we certainly benefited from the move.
 
That''s a tough question. I mean it''s not right, but then I would also want a better school for my kids. I mean sometimes you just can''t afford to get up and move (even if it''s a smaller house). Using DH and I as example (not that I don''t like the schools in our area), DH got the house a couple years before we met. At that time, he was a single bachelor not thinking about marriage or kids. And he didn''t even look at or think about schools and school districts. Considering our mortgage is less than 2K a month, we wouldn''t be able to get the same mortgage even for a smaller house. So if the school district was horrible, then we would be screwed. In that situation, I will try to use someone else''s address.

My parents used my uncle''s address for us to attend the "better" school. It was actually my uncle''s idea, and it had to do with my cousin(the uncle''s son)''s experience at the "bad" school. He had a gun put to his head. So because of that, all my relatives didn''t want any of the kids going to that school. So I can understand the desire to use false address.
 
I grew up in a very good school district and I would NEVER have felt cheated or even bothered by kids from other districts ending up there. The split for the middle school literally ran right down my block. You have no clue what it does to block parties when one half has kids and property values reflecting the good schools facing those who were not so lucky. My BFF was in the worst neighborhood in the city. If he hadn''t gotten into the art school, he would have become my parent''s third child. He is now a successful pilot, artist and local celeb. Had he gone to his district school, he might have been killed (homosexuality was not exactly cool there).
The school funding system is one of the most messed up things in this country and frankly, I don''t think it is immoral to work around such a fundamentally bad system.
 
Interesting thoughts everyone.

I''m generally pretty law abiding. So when my BFF called last night to tell me the following story, it did give me a bit of pause.

Her friend put a bill in her friend''sname and BFF used it to enroll her child in the better school. BFF IS in an affluent part of town but there is strange zoning which puts her ichild n a school which apparently is terrible. All was fine (the child has been in that school for 2 years), but when she went to fill out forms for the next school year, she wrote down her own address.

This raised red flags and she was asked to bring another bill, which of course she didn''t have. Her friend gave her different bills with the friend''s name on it and my BFF went to try and alter it somehow with her own name.

My BFF is a very straight and narrow person...one of the most honest people I know. She called because she was so freaked out and sweating bullets that she was doing something so wrong, but she told me if she had to do it all over again, for her child, she would. I was very surprised to hear she had done this and while I didn''t like what she had done, I was as sympathetic as I could be.

And when I really thought about it, I had to wonder myself...would I do the same thing? Ask me before I had a kid, and I would have said the same thing some previous posters said...that it is wrong and it is pushing real residents out (the school my BFF''s child attends is over enrolled by dozens of kids). But when I look at my girl, I wonder (if I were being completely honest with myself), would I do it? Gosh, what kind of person would I be if I had this code of ethics that I violated because now it''s *my* kid? What kind of example does this set for my child?

Honestly, I found the whole thing kind of disturbing...mostly because my world doesn''t feel so black and white anymore when I really would like it to be when it comes to integrity and honesty.
 
My parents put me in a high school in a different city from where we lived. Since I wasn''t zoned for it, we just had to pay out of district tuition which was NOTHING compared to my private school tuition. I knew many people who also fanagled their way into this school despite not being zoned for it... some just begged, some rented a trailer in the proper district just to have an address there... and some used friends/distant relative''s addresses.

If they hadn''t let me pay out of district tuition then my mom would have used someone else''s address since my district''s high school was NOT an option. It''s not our fault that these schools are low performing or filled with gang violence... We just wanted a good, safe education.

I do think that cheating your way into a different school is NOT ok if you are doing it just to be in the more "elite" school. If both schools are equal in their academics, etc but one just has a more prestigious vibe, stick with your proper school.
 
No, I wouldn''t. What are you judging this school on?
 
Date: 8/22/2008 3:16:45 AM
Author: pennquaker09
No, I wouldn''t. What are you judging this school on?
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If you are asking me, I''m not in the situation. It was my friend.
 
Our schools are are very full and when someone enrolls who lives outside the district it means someone who is in the district gets displaced. It also means the school gets more crowded and has less money to spend per child. Choosing a school district is part of choosing a neighborhood and house you can afford. If you buy a house in an area where the schools are lousy you probably paid less for your house. I chose a smaller house in a good school district and then made the schools even better by volunteering, donating money, going to PTA meetings, and working to improve what needed improvement.
 
I''m not sure that I would ever try to do that. I am usually a very law abiding citizen and I would be too afraid that I would be caught. I too would either move to the district, homeschool, or look at a private school. I currently work at a cyber school and we are very strict when it comes to residency. We no longer accept a bill to show residency. A family must turn in their mortgage or lease statement with a corresponding Driver''s license. All names must match. I know there are some other docuements that must be turned in as well, but I don''t work in admissions so I''m not exactly sure.
 
You can''t give a false address here - they check.

However, we have just bought a house in the catchment area for the best state primary school in the area - and it was a definite consideration for us when we were looking. If our future kids don''t get in then I will either go private, or state with top up private tuition.

We hope to save on the primary education so we can afford a really good private school for the secondary education.
 
No, because then your child also have to lie. I had a friend who did this and eventually was found out, plus her son had to lie about where he lived.

I think that when you have children you should lead by example. Teaching them to lie when they want something, or when something would be better for them, I don''t think is right.
 
Of course not. I don''t lie on my taxes, steal from the grocery store, or shoplift clothing either
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Having children is not a license to lose your integrity. Worse yet, the lie doesn''t stop with you. As another poster pointed out, you force your children to lie. Now there''s a lesson they won''t teach your kids even in the worst school district.
 
Absoloutely not. In doing so I would be teaching my child/ren that it is okay to lie to get things they want, a spot in a better school, and that is lesson no child should ever learn. It''s extremely unfortunate and unfair that there are such great discrepancies between public schools, but said discrepancies do not make lying and teaching ones'' child/ren dishonesty acceptable. This is a great opportunity to teach a child/ren that life is certainly not always fair, even when it cases such as education where it should be, and that the child must make the most of the opportunities he or she has been given.
 
Date: 8/22/2008 8:25:01 AM
Author: purrfectpear
Of course not. I don''t lie on my taxes, steal from the grocery store, or shoplift clothing either
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Having children is not a license to lose your integrity. Worse yet, the lie doesn''t stop with you. As another poster pointed out, you force your children to lie. Now there''s a lesson they won''t teach your kids even in the worst school district.
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I agree 100%!
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I see signs for new developments all the time that actually have the school district listed on the billboard!!! It''s a really big selling point here to be in Fort Bend schools because we have the best standard acheivement scores in the state... The best high school here is the one I live by, but my kids will likely be in a private school... I went... and so did DH.

My mom was able to have the district allow my sister to go to a school that they do not live by because of where my mom was going to school. She was getting her masters and at first she was having to drive to my sisters school 20 minutes away SOUTH, and then turn around and drive to her college 45 minutes NORTH of where she lived! They fixed it so she went to school in the same town where my mom was going...

Maybe ASK... there are reasons they can transfer kids!

To answer your question... NO. I wouldn''t lie. I think that you can actually be prosecuted for fraud or something if they found out!
 
I would do it if I had to.
 
This came up a lot when I was growing up in Beverly Hills.

I knew people who wanted their children to attend a school in the Beverly Hills School System at all costs and so used a friend's address. Or rented the least expensive apartment in the area so their kids could go there. There were four elementary schools, two were better than the other two, somewhat, and those two were in the more expensive parts of Beverly Hills. People were desperate to get their kids into these schools and the one high school as LAUSD was not good at all. Aside from poor education in many of the schools, gang violence and crime were high. Many kids in Beverly Hills STILL went to private schools so on one hand there were open spots for other kids to attend. They allowed the kids of employees to attend, so I know kids who were able to come to a Beverly Hills School that way. Also I had friends who had parents get divorced and they moved out of BH midway through high school and they wanted to finish up their education there, so the parents used a friend's address. Again, I get this.

I am not a liar or cheat by nature, but I think where our kids are concerned, there are things a parent will do to ensure certain chances or opportunities for them. Even now, though there are great public schools in my school district, my kids go to private schools, so I do not have to make a choice. And as I am a very honest person, I would certainly be afraid of getting caught if I did do something like this, but do not know what a parent goes through if they know the school in their neighborhood is not a good option. As a parent, protecting my child and ensuring my child can get the best education possible DOES matter to me. If the district where I live is NOT doing it's job on the education/safety front, sorry, but I have to do best by my child. No parent wants to send their child to a school where the kid is barely safe to walk into the building let alone where the education is poor. There are schools in the city (Philly) that are pretty horrible, and a kid has to be more concerned about their physical safety than learning. It is a complicated issue as to why this occurs, administration, local and state and national government, but bottom line, no one wants their child to be paying the price. I judge not because I am fortunate to live in a place where no matter what my options are great, and I am able to send my three children to the private school of my choice. However, I know people from when I was growing up where this was not the case. I hate to say this, because I am very law abiding and moral and would always teach my kids wrong from right, but in this case, I cannot be judgmental as to what a parent might do if the school system has failed them or the districting lines mean their child goes to a poor school even if they live in a better area.
 

I was thinking about this thread & thought about what would happen if every parent decided that it was in their child''s best interest to lie to attend a better school. I don''t think leaving one school system by lying to another is the way to foster positive change; it will just lead to the further deterioration of the already struggling school. Disinterested parents would eventually become the majority in that school system & children will continue to view themselves are inferior because of where they go to school, which will negatively affect their learning (i.e. Brown v. Board).


I would move & make all the sacrifices possible to send my child to a private school if it was a dire situation (i.e. violence), but I would not purposefully cheat the system just so they could attend a different public school. My parents were not rich by any means when I was growing up & still managed to send five of their children to private school because the public school in our area was rough. This not a feasible option for all people, but I would also gladly pay the out-of-district fee if I felt that my child was being threatened at their current school; at least that way I am paying for my child''s education instead of mooching off the taxes of those who live in the distrct. I would also never ask my child to lie to get ahead. However, looking at school districts when choosing a place to live is so very important to me, so I hope I would not be in that position to begin with.

Just my opinion...not judging others, this is just what I would do...
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