Parenting...as hard as they say?

[E B]

The question I can't seem to get enough answers to.

With 3 weeks and change until the wedding, I've got babies, babies, babies on the brain. Possibly because I need a break from wedding planning. Who am I kidding? I've had babies on the brain for a long time.

At FH's 25th birthday dinner yesterday, we discussed the wedding, and our future plans. We want to take a trip (baseball-themed) in late Spring of next year, and we were discussing where we'd go and which stadiums we'd hit on the east coast. He asked me if it's safe to fly while pregnant, and it hit me: I could be pregnant by next year. Wow.

I am a research junkie. I research practically everything to death, from products to personal choices. Becoming a parent holds no exception. While I'm thrilled at the thought of being a mom, I'm also incredibly scared. What if I can't handle a baby? I really like to sleep, and if I don't get enough, I can be less than pleasant. What if I don't have enough energy to chase after a toddler all day? What if I close my eyes for a second and my child dives head-first into a pile of knives?

I didn't really know where else to go to ask this. I lurk in pregnant communities, but those women are buzzing with so many hormones, they can (and have) flipped out at some pretty harmless questions. None of my IRL friends are close to having children, and the people at my dog board, well, don't really want children. They have pug-children.

Moms: It is as hard as they say? Share your secrets with me. Did you have the same feelings before becoming moms? Give it to me straight; no sugar coating. I'd appreciate any advice.

 

[TravelingGal]

I''ll be interested in the answers...I''m pregnant and feel the way you mentioned and THEN SOME.

I think it''s true when they say you''re never *really* ready. I know this in no way compares to having a kid, but when I went to Europe by myself for several months, the thought was pretty intimidating. What if I got lost? Mugged? Be completely without help since I didn''t know the language? Well minus the mugging part, all those things and more happened to me, and I found that I just took it a moment at a time and managed to be OK.

You seem to really WANT to be a mom. My guess is that already puts you ahead in the game.

 

[upgrading mama]

There is no right or wrong answer.

I am a 27 yr old mom of a 3 and 2 yr old boys and it is hard sometimes, easy sometimes, and rewarding always!! There is nothing in this world like having them. There are times where I feel like I can't take another second and need to decompress. So I do. I get out and go shop, or whatever. Then I come home, and these 2 liitle guys who I haven't seen for only like, 2 hours, come running to me like they haven't seen me in ages. Makes a girl melt.

Parenting is a process and babies are easier to 'parent' than toddlers..than young kids...than teenagers.... but that is why they are born babies and not teenagers!

You will be great and it is a FUN road. Happy wedding planning, and then happy baby making!!


ETA: oh, and we are already thinking of #3, so hopefully in the next year I will be prego too!

 

[diamondfan]

It is the hardest and the best thing ever. It is also scary, because no matter what, no matter how hard you try, things do not always go well or the way you would like. That said, even though it is tough on me (due to my anxiety issues) I would not trade it for the world. Of course, there are days that are tougher than others, you are tired and your child is cranky and you just need a break...loving your child and needing some alone time are not at odds with eachother. It helps if you have a support system. Even with the easiest most calm tempered baby, you will be tired and need to regroup. It is nice if you are able to get some rest and have time for you. I think if you are get rest when possible and have some help, be it hubby or parents or whatever, it is a nice way to go. If you do not have family around, you will be fine, but it can be tiring. I lately do not have tons of energy or stamina due to my health issues, but thankfully my youngest is almost 6 and I am able to have help. But in my 20's I was great!

You will never know all the answers, even once you are a mom! I know that is not helpful, but it constantly unfolds around you. My oldest can drive me to insanity and then he will do something so amazing I cry thinking about it, and thinking about how much he has grown and matured. Yet he is still my baby, though he is bigger than me now! It is a great ride, but tough, but you will do well I am sure! Just baby steps, you do not have to know all of the answers now and you will likely not know them in 60 years! You never stop being the mom, even when your kids have their own kids! But it can bring you some of the greatest joy you will ever have!

 

[Sundial]

Yes parenting is as hard as they say. I am the mother of a 23 year old daughter and a 21 year old son. Being a mother has been both the most rewarding and the most terrifying thing in my life. Every age your child goes through has its own challenges and rewards. When I was younger I thought that once they turned 18 my job would be done, but you are never through being a parent. While I could have been perfectly happy if my husband and I had never had children, I am SO thankful that we chose to be parents!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Ebree, it is ALL overwhelming! I think as soon as I saw that second line I started to worry. Is my baby healthy? Is it moving enough? Will it ever flip? Will my L&D go well? Will I be able to handle a baby in any situation? (flying alone? shopping alone? basically just being alone with it?) Will my child be happy? Will my child like me? It is all enough to drive you crazy. I am imagining parenting HARDER than they say. But I have always wanted to be a mom and I know no matter what DH and I have unconditional love to give to our baby. I think that is the most important thing. Hopefully everything will fall into place and we will learn along the way.

By the way it is safe to fly when you are preggo (unless you are high risk) up to 32 weeks (I think). I have flown for two trips during my pregnancy and from experience make sure you get an aisle seat

I went to the bathroom SOOOO many times plus it is good to walk around a bit for blood flow.

 

[E B]

This is all good stuff! Thank you, ladies! Please, keep it coming. I''m learning every single day.

Date: 9/5/2007 11:25:31 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring

By the way it is safe to fly when you are preggo (unless you are high risk) up to 32 weeks (I think). I have flown for two trips during my pregnancy and from experience make sure you get an aisle seat

I went to the bathroom SOOOO many times plus it is good to walk around a bit for blood flow.

Thanks, Tacori! I read the same thing, but I think I''d be most comfortable flying in the second trimester, which means we''d need to start getting busy in December if we''re planning on going in May (that is, if we''re lucky in the first few tries). We were planning on TTC around that time anyway...

...unless I succumb to my fears of possibly being a bad mom. Ugh. Why do I over-think everything?

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I flew once during my first (I think I was 11 weeks and it was a 4 hour flight

) I was honestly fine. I just drank a lot of water but I didn''t feel sick at all. Regardless EVERYTHING is better in the second trimester. That is why they call it the honeymoon trimester. haha! Miss those days!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 9/5/2007 11:25:31 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
Ebree, it is ALL overwhelming! I think as soon as I saw that second line I started to worry. Is my baby healthy? Is it moving enough? Will it ever flip? Will my L&D go well? Will I be able to handle a baby in any situation? (flying alone? shopping alone? basically just being alone with it?) Will my child be happy? Will my child like me? It is all enough to drive you crazy. I am imagining parenting HARDER than they say. But I have always wanted to be a mom and I know no matter what DH and I have unconditional love to give to our baby. I think that is the most important thing. Hopefully everything will fall into place and we will learn along the way.

By the way it is safe to fly when you are preggo (unless you are high risk) up to 32 weeks (I think). I have flown for two trips during my pregnancy and from experience make sure you get an aisle seat

I went to the bathroom SOOOO many times plus it is good to walk around a bit for blood flow.

Your post just makes my heart beat faster. Ay!

I''m screwed. I booked a trip to Oz before I got pregnant. I always get a window because I can sleep for hours and hours and don''t want to be disturbed. Now I am facing a 13 hour flight with two people between me and the loo. It was impossible to get a seat in the first place (long story) so I think I may just beg for mercy when I check in for my flight super early.

 

[february2003bride]

As a mom of three, there''s no way to directly answer that, since you don''t know what type of personality your children will have, and as they get older, what is "hard" and what is "easy" changes literally from year to year, from new phase to new phase.

My kids are 10 y.o. daughter (almost 11), 3 y.o. son(almost 4) and my baby boy will be 2 years old next week

. The easiest part is watching them play together, love each other (it melts my heart when my 3 year old says to my 10 year old "I love you Aly" with such love in his big brown eyes!), and watch them start new adventures in their lives. Right now it''s a new grade and violin for my daughter and pre-school for my son. Also, I''m an addict for baby gear! I love carseats, strollers, diaper bags, baby clothes, etc! Shopping for kids is so much fun! Especially baby girl clothes

The hardest part? Watching money fly out the window (partly because of my shopping habit! Haha!), when my two boys argue, consistant discipline, the hours

, little alone time for DH and I, the weight gain (and gain and gain and gain), and the laundry.

Also, now that my daughter is in 4th grade and almost 11, there are sensitive issues that I thought would be SOOOOO easy for me to discuss with her, but I find are quite hard after all! Periods, bras, sex, drugs, drinking, body image etc. Thankfully, my daughter and I have an amazing relationship, and she truely feels like she can tell me anything.

I love being a mom and am so thankful to have my children and even more thankful I can stay at home with them. Not a day goes by that my heart does not burst with love, pride, an overwhelming urge to hug them till their heads pop off

, and protectiveness for all three of my kids. Of course, not a day goes by that they don''t frustrate the hell outta me either!

 

[snlee]

Thanks for starting this thread EBree! I'm interested in hearing thoughts and opinions as well.

I pretty much feel the same way as you. We've had babies on the mind for a looong time. Major baby fever since our wedding, which was a little over a year ago. I'm big on researching too but I don't think anything will prepare you for parenthood. You can read and read as much as you want but going through it will be totally different! We're going to TTC in a couple of months, which is both exciting and scary! Thinking about the scary things helps me try to enjoy what's left of my freedom. Because once you have a baby, there's no turning back! It's been hard waiting though. I've wanted to be a mother for so long but I have the same fears as you. What if I'm bad at it? What if I can't handle a baby? I LOVE my sleep too! I need 8+ hours a night or I feel crappy. What am I going to do without my sleep!? Then, how am I going to handle being a working mother? There are so many things to think about! It's such a huge responsibility! Maybe I'm not ready!? I totally think it's true that you're never really ready to have a baby.

 

[lumpkin]

I always thought that if I did everything right -- eat the right food during pregnancy, don''t drink, don''t smoke, exercise, etc. -- then when the baby is born, breast feed, attachment parent, etc. -- my kids would be happy babies. After all, I would be meeting all their needs, right? Well, babies are sometimes colicy. My first didn''t sleep more than 2 hours at a time until he was 3, and even after that not so well. Turns out he has ADHD and his neurology just isn''t typical. Nothing I did, just that way. Welllllll, there went the "If I do everything right..." theory.

Kids come with their personality hard wired. You can direct it and mold it to some extent. You can choose to work with it instead of against it, but they are who they are.

Yes, it''s hard. I''ve aged much more rapidly since I had my kids. I don''t have as much time to take care of myself. Our families are not hands on, so if we want time alone we usually have to hire a sitter. If you have a family like ours, or you don''t live near family, you will be pretty much on your own raising your kids, and that is hard.

The rewards are so great, though. When my kids tell me they love me and I know they really mean it, it is just the greatest. My younger one told me the other day he''s so glad I''m his mom, and I just melted! When you see them struggle with something and you back them up and see them finally succeed, that''s another great thing. When you see them learning and hear some of the wisest observations come from them, it''s amazing.

My husband and I didn''t want kids. We didn''t plan on having any. I hit 34 and I was at lunch with a bunch of co-workers and heard them talking about their babies and children, all of a sudden it hit me. My husband and I were going to grow old and we would have none of this to look back on. As the youngest in our families, there would be no one to honor our memories when we are gone. Everything would die with us. I''d have no daughters to teach to sew, quilt, and pass on tradition to. No sons to always love me, their mother and do woodworking with their dad. Just nothingness. And crazily enough, as soon as I had that revelation, I was pregnant without having tried. I do believe in divine intervention, and I think my oldest child was just waiting in the wings for me to discover how very much he was wanted. When the pregnancy test was positive, my husband looked like deer caught in headlights. He''s still adjusting, LOL! But we are by and large a happy family and I would not trade my kids for anything in the world.

 

[AGBF]

Date: 9/5/2007 11:00:42 PM
Author:EBree
It is as hard as they say?

Harder. The burdens are absolutely overwhelming. This question and its replies made me think of something my mother used to say, however: that having children pushes you and prods you until you are malleable enough to be shaped into a parent. In essence, one gets beaten into shape by being a parent.

As I write this I realize that while it is true for me, it may not be true for everyone. Some people are very blithe about parenting. They may not be reading Pricescope, mind you, but they do exist! There are people who put their children into daycare and do not worry; people who let children "cry it out" and remain calm. They exist. I'm not amongst them .


Deborah, mother of a fifteen year-old

 

[snlee]

Date: 9/5/2007 11:37:18 PM
Author: TravelingGal

I'm screwed. I booked a trip to Oz before I got pregnant. I always get a window because I can sleep for hours and hours and don't want to be disturbed. Now I am facing a 13 hour flight with two people between me and the loo. It was impossible to get a seat in the first place (long story) so I think I may just beg for mercy when I check in for my flight super early.

TGal, how many weeks will you be? You'll be showing by then? I'm sure if you ask the person with the aisle seat and they would gladly switch seats with you. I wouldn't worry about it. You'll be able to find someone to switch seats if you can't change seats ahead of time.

 

[diamondfan]

The thing that is so tough, at least for me, is that again, you can do it all perfectly and still have issues, at any point. I think our kids chose us to an extent, there is a reason we have the child we do, but still things can test you every day. But, hopefully, the love and bonding you share with your child is deep and everlasting, no one can take it from you. And that is the thing that is so special to me...you always have that deep love and caring no matter where either of you are in the world.

 

[Mara]

i don't think i know one parent who regrets having their child (though they might have regrets on things they didn't get to do before they had the baby or similar)...so i think once you have the baby it just automatically becomes worth it! have ready that hormones go into overdrive particularly so that the mom loves the baby rather than tries to eat it or whatever (this is what i read anyway lol)...so i think that it's just natural for the mom to love the baby and hormones ensure that (for most i guess...i know there are some who just don't really ever connect with their kids)...

my neighbor just had their baby and it's their first...and it's amazing how good their baby is BUT he's still a lot of work!!! they are pretty overwhelmed and they are the most 'capable' couple that i know. and i remember when my sister was born, i was 16 so i was kind of like her 2nd mom. and yes it was a lot of hard work and my mom had me to help her.

but tons of women do it all the time!! so i would imagine you'd just work it out when it happens to you. don't be intimidated by the thought!

we are thinking about having kids, i know we'd make great parents but yeah it seems kind of scary too.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 9/6/2007 12:04:57 AM
Author: snlee

Date: 9/5/2007 11:37:18 PM
Author: TravelingGal

I''m screwed. I booked a trip to Oz before I got pregnant. I always get a window because I can sleep for hours and hours and don''t want to be disturbed. Now I am facing a 13 hour flight with two people between me and the loo. It was impossible to get a seat in the first place (long story) so I think I may just beg for mercy when I check in for my flight super early.

TGal, how many weeks will you be? You''ll probably be showing by then? I''m sure if you ask the person with the aisle seat and they would gladly switch seats with you. I wouldn''t worry about it. You''ll be able to find someone to switch seats if you can''t change seats ahead of time.

Snlee, I believe I will be 25 weeks. If I''m not showing (impossible, I think), I''m going to stuff a pillow in my belly and waddle down the aisle. Ha. People are just really funny about their seats on long haul flights, and this will mean asking someone to give up an aisle for a window...tough even on a shorter flight.

I am sure I will be fine...but I hate that I will be doing this trip alone, as I am sending TGuy home to Oz a couple weeks ahead of me. Normally it''s fine, but I am going to have to manage with lots of luggage (Christmas pressies!) alone and preggo. Oh well...good thing I''m not shy about asking for help if I really need it.

 

[VegasAngel]

Yes being a parent is hard. I dont think one needs to get pregnant to know that it''s going to have it''s up''s & down. As a parent you are responsible for another human being for the rest of their/your life. It''s a huge responsibility but wonderful at the same time. Dont worry, everyone is nervous before their child is born & even after. We have an idea how our lives will change once our child is born but you dont know the full extent until they are actually here. You will adjust just fine, you will learn as you go, there is no perfect way to do things. You do things the best way you know how. I want to type more but I''m not good at expressing myself online.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

TGal, you will be showing. I would just offer to switch seats with the aisle person so you don''t disturb them. If He/She refuses well then I guess you shouldn''t feel bad about having them move every hour or so. At least you gave them the option. Otherwise you could talk to the flight attendent. They *could* be an open seat somewhere.

 

[Joolskie]

Being a parent is amazing, terrifying, frustrating, beautiful, life-affirming, nervous-breakdown-inducing, patience-testing, wonderful... and I wouldn't have it any other way.

As far as being ready for kids, there is no such thing. My husband and I were married for four years when we finally thought "gee, would having a baby interfere with our busy television-watching schedule on Saturday nights?!?" and went for it. And then we went for it again. My sons are now 7- and 4-years-old.

Does it totally change your life?!? Absolutely.

As far as sleep goes... I ain't gonna lie to ya. Those first few weeks with a newborn are BRUTAL. You feel as though you will literally never sleep again. But you do sleep again. And you realize that those weeks went by so quickly and truly forget the negative. Parental-Amnesia is strong. It's why we have more than one kid. Because you do eventually manage to have sex again too.

As far as handling a baby goes... there is nothing like holding your baby in your arms. If you have not handled an infant before, you will learn. And you will carry your second child around like a sack of potatoes. LOL!

As far as having enough energy to chase a toddler... some days you will and some days you won't. That's where Sesame Street, Blues Clues, The Wonder Pets, Dora The Explorer and Thomas The Tank Engine come in.

As far as your child diving into a pile of knives... the instinct to protect your child is incredibly overwhelming and powerful. But despite your constant worry, they will get into everything and test your sense of security over and over again. Just put the knives up in a high cabinet. Along with the television remotes, ballpoint pens, your checkbook, all magazines you plan on keeping intact, your ipod, the salt shaker, the pepper shaker, and jewelry. Hell, put everything up there. Okay, leave the stuffed animals with reach.

It sounds cliche... but parenting is the truly the toughest job you will ever love. It will test your sense of security, your sense of identity and your relationship with your spouse. There will definitely be days when you long for that life "before kids." But then you will freak out when your parents offer to take the kids for a week over the summer because you simply cannot deal with the thought of them being away despite the fact that you and DH could act like newlyweds for seven whole days.

Not that I would know of course...

Joolskie... mother of two boys and recipient of comments such as "wow, you really have your hands full" while attempting to shop at Target.

 

[eks6426]

I'm the mother of a 10 year old boy and a 17 almost 18 year old step-son.

My observations:

Every childhood stage seems to have its good points and bad points. For the baby stage...pretty much just expect to not get a lot of sleep and be tired all the time. I was like you and LOVED to sleep. Babies sleep a lot but not all in one stretch and not always when YOU want to sleep. I made it through this stage...even while going back to work. Was it fun? No, but watching baby smile for the first time, or find his toes with such wonder makes it all worth it.

Toddler stage--I think toddlers are made so darn cute so you don't kill them. Really. Toddlers can do and say some of the most adorable things then BAM do something that just drives you nuts (like lay down in the middle of the grocery store and start screaming or throwing this.) The good thing about all the typical toddler tantrums is that YOU are easily in charge and change the situation instantly.

Early grade school--Kind-2nd grade. A lot of new things in this stage. First real school. Learning to read. etc. It's fun and frustrating. (When did my child's homework become MY homework too?) I thought these years were relatively easy.

3-4th grade. For my son this was the beginning of the defiance years. Everything was WHY? As in "Why do I need to go to bed now? Why do I have to brush my teeth?" I really felt like I was constantly dealing with a little lawyer because after I'd answer his why he'd try to negotiate. My favorite...learning multiplication tables. He just didn't want to do it. Very smart kid who flat out refuses to memorize them no matter what I do. His reason, "If I just wait a couple more years they'll let me use a caculator for basic stuff like this and I don't really have to know it." In a way, kind of logical but maddening. Which brings me to the current year...5th grade.

5th grade...10 almost 11. New things this year. Sudden concern about looks and clothes etc. He STILL doesn't know the multiplication tables (says he only has 1 more year to go...calculators are used in 6th grade). But honestly, so far I love this age the most. We can have a decent conversation that isn't entirely stupid. (No offense but conversations with small kids may be cute, but they're really not about anything that interests me..."Oh, Johnny tell me more about that cartoon you were watching please...NOT" It's fun to watch my son start to be more independent. This is the first year since my son was born that I'm feeling a little bit more able to do things I want to do...like read a book or have a hobby

My step-son was "instant teen" for me. He came into my life at age 14. It's been baptism by fire. I'm scared what the 10 year old will become. I want to him to stay like he is. Friendly, loving and reasonably cooperative because my step-son is anything but right now. Whoever said that you get them at babies and not teens was definitely right. I'm hoping that the things I've learned from dealing with my step-son will help me parent the 10 year old better as he heads into those teen years. And I really hope that the 17 year old matures SOON!

It's kind of funny. I had my son young--25. Most of my friends have babies or toddlers. Watching them reminds me how sweet and EASY babies and toddlers were but at the same time how much work they were too. I know I'm done having kids because I wouldn't want to go back and do it again. It was fun while it lasted. You learn so much that you never knew you needed to learn. I'm a total researcher too and there's just really no way to research parenting. You just gotta live it.

 

[Independent Gal]

T''Gal, I''m claustrophobic and NEED an aisle seat near the front, even on short flights, or else I''m a tense ball of panic.

In my experience, if you tell the person at check-in (all smiles of course) the seriousness of the situation (oh, and you may want to fudge a little and say you might be sick, too teehee!) then they will find a way to switch your seat and make it work. Or, bump you up to business (that''s happened to me a couple of times when they couldn''t find me an aisle at the front.

Make clear that you really NEED THAT SEAT and if they aren''t total b*tches, they''ll find a way to get it for you.

Works for me 9 times out of 10.

 

[ephemery1]

Good post Ebree!! I am SO like you... been wanting kids since I WAS a kid (I bought my first baby-name book and made up hundreds of children for myself by 9, then became the official town babysitter by 12... I STILL babysit regularly and I''m almost 30!)... plus I''m a crazy, obsessive researcher on all things. So now that I am 28 and DH is 29, we are married, and we are expected to start having kids.... I''ve spent every waking minute thinking about it!! Some girls grow up planning their fantasy wedding... that was never me. I just fantasized about my big, happy family... it''s just SO weird that it''s now a reality.

Because I want at least 2 kids, I feel much more comfortable starting sooner than later... and DH has agreed that December/January would be a good time for us to begin TTC. (

) But now that it''s just months away, I am constantly alternating between shock, fear and excitement. I know I''ll be okay with a baby/toddler, it''s just those years afterwards that are freaking me out... deciding on the right schools, dealing with social issues (popularity and bullying and all that), illnesses and babysitters and sports and hobbies and having the money to make it all work.... UGH!

Not to mention the loss of "me" time... I like my sleep too! And I also like my time with DH, just hanging out watching TV or taking a walk or whatever. Still, I know that by having kids soon, we''re giving ourselves enough time to enjoy that when we''re older too, and that''s important to me... especially seeing how much my parents are loving life these days!

Anyway, fingers crossed that Snlee, Ebree, Sophie and I will all be PS preggos together sometime next year!! (And maybe Mara too?

)

 

[strmrdr]

advice?
lots and lots of duct tape!!!

 

[KimberlyH]

I think one of the most important things anyone who has a child should remember is that you are not raising a child/children you are raising adults and everything you do should be conducive to turning your child into a healthy, happy, productive person.

 

[eks6426]

Date: 9/6/2007 11:34:55 AM
Author: KimberlyH
I think one of the most important things anyone who has a child should remember is that you are not raising a child/children you are raising adults and everything you do should be conducive to turning your child into a healthy, happy, productive person.

I think this is one of the wisest comments on raising children. It''s really easy to get caught up in all the "child" issues without realizing how it will impact them when they are adults. My husband and I see that with my step-son. My husband is now noticing that his son is the way he is because of some of the things that happened to the 17 year old as a younger kid. It''s amazing how those little things manifest YEARS later.

 

[E B]

You''re all wonderful. Thank you for sharing so much with me. It''s starting to sink in, the overwhelming forever-ness of parenting, but I hear the same thing from all of you: It''s absolutely worth it, and more. And since I can remember, it''s what I''ve wanted. There''s never been any question. And who am I to argue with mother nature, especially after I''ve completed all my ''before mommy'' goals?

Date: 9/6/2007 10:47:09 AM
Author: ephemery1

Anyway, fingers crossed that Snlee, Ebree, Sophie and I will all be PS preggos together sometime next year!! (And maybe Mara too?

)

Fingers crossed! Someone''s gotta take over for the ''07 ladies!

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 9/6/2007 1:27:00 PM
Author: IslandDreams

Date: 9/6/2007 11:34:55 AM
Author: KimberlyH
I think one of the most important things anyone who has a child should remember is that you are not raising a child/children you are raising adults and everything you do should be conducive to turning your child into a healthy, happy, productive person.

I think this is one of the wisest comments on raising children. It''s really easy to get caught up in all the ''child'' issues without realizing how it will impact them when they are adults. My husband and I see that with my step-son. My husband is now noticing that his son is the way he is because of some of the things that happened to the 17 year old as a younger kid. It''s amazing how those little things manifest YEARS later.

Thanks, ID. I think people, women especially, also need to remember that children are only babies for this long and then comes the real work and that having a baby doesn''t garuantee fulfillment, satisfaction and unconditional love; there can be a lot of heartache and frustration involved in the process of parenting too.

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 9/6/2007 10:54:19 AM
Author: strmrdr
advice?

lots and lots of duct tape!!!

OMG, that is something my husband would say. lol

I want kids but it may not be in the cards so oh well. I agree there is never a good time to have kids, why not just do it if you have the love in your heart for them.

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 9/6/2007 1:55:12 PM
Author: Skippy123

Date: 9/6/2007 10:54:19 AM
Author: strmrdr
advice?

lots and lots of duct tape!!!

OMG, that is something my husband would say. lol

I want kids but it may not be in the cards so oh well. I agree there is never a good time to have kids, why not just do it if you have the love in your heart for them.

Skip,

Your thread about this disappeared, for a reason I assume, but I just want you to know I''m still pulling for you, you would make a most excellent mother. No need to respond as I am aware this is an extremely personal, and possibly difficult, subject for you.

~K