Parenting...as hard as they say?

[Joolskie]

Date: 9/6/2007 11:34:55 AM
Author: KimberlyH
I think one of the most important things anyone who has a child should remember is that you are not raising a child/children you are raising adults and everything you do should be conducive to turning your child into a healthy, happy, productive person.

KimberlyH is absolutely right on about this aspect of parenting. I am very aware of the fact that I am raising two future MEN. It is my hope that I can give them the love, guidance and support they need to enter adulthood as confident, happy, productive, respectful people.

Fortunately, they have a great male role model. My husband is a wonderful man, friend, husband and father.

And course, when my boys are all grown up and standing inches taller than me... they will still talk about how much they love their MOMMY. LOL!!!!!

 

[curlygirl]

Well, I''m not sure if I''m really qualified to answer this since I''m a really new mommy of a 4 month old but I will have to agree with what almost everyone else has said--it is scary as hell but I wouldn''t trade it for anything in the world. I am thrilled to have a little girl but I''m also terrified of what''s to come as she grows older: boys, body image issues, clothing choices, hormonal drama, sex, etc. Like Tacori said, the worrying started the second I saw that line on the pee stick! It''s incredibly overwhelming to realize you are responsible for molding someone''s life and taking care of their every need until they can do things for themselves. I''m 36 years old and I FINALLY understand what my parents go through. My mother is always worried about me if I''m sick, upset, overworked, whatever the case may be. I always used to say, "Don''t worry about me, I''m fine." But now I get it! It''s hard work and it''s been tough on my relationship with my husband, although we are getting past the initial chaos. There were definitely a few times in the beginning when I said to myself, "what have I done?!?!?!" But so far, the rewards have been great as I have a pretty easygoing, happy child. Getting a gummy smile from my little girl is the best thing in the world and I hope and pray that she will become a strong, compassionate, caring, intelligent, exceptional adult--I will do everything I can to make that happen! And yes, I can''t wait to have another one!!!

 

[Independent Gal]

I''m excited and VERY scared about kids too. I hope everything works right and we can actually have them!

We are thinking we''ll start being, uh, careless in January, and then get to it actively after we''re married at the end of March (legally anyway). I don''t really want to be pregnant / sick / unable to drink at the wedding(s), but my friends have been having so much trouble that we both are jittery in case it takes ages.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 9/6/2007 4:16:16 PM
Author: Independent Gal
I''m excited and VERY scared about kids too. I hope everything works right and we can actually have them!


We are thinking we''ll start being, uh, careless in January, and then get to it actively after we''re married at the end of March (legally anyway). I don''t really want to be pregnant / sick / unable to drink at the wedding(s), but my friends have been having so much trouble that we both are jittery in case it takes ages.

IG it took me 3 weeks so be careful! Waiting a month or two won''t mean much in the long run. I was convinced I would have trouble too....nope! And I had m/s bad and it would have STUCKED to be sick your wedding.

 

[Independent Gal]

ARGH! I guess we really should wait, shouldn''t we. Juuuuust in case.

 

[snlee]

Date: 9/6/2007 4:55:30 PM
Author: Independent Gal
ARGH! I guess we really should wait, shouldn''t we. Juuuuust in case.

IG, I would wait until after your wedding to be careless.

You never know! You may get pregnant your first try!

 

[E B]

Date: 9/6/2007 5:12:28 PM
Author: snlee

Date: 9/6/2007 4:55:30 PM

Author: Independent Gal

ARGH! I guess we really should wait, shouldn''t we. Juuuuust in case.

IG, I would wait until after your wedding to be careless.

You never know! You may get pregnant your first try!

Ditto that! Good friends of ours got pregnant on their third try, and she had surgery for (and complications after) endometriosis just a year before. They never imagined they''d conceive so quickly!

 

[lyra]

This borders on TMI, but with our second child, we literally got pregnant on our very first try. My husband had a 2 week trip the next day, and by the time he came home I''d already been to the doctor and had it confirmed. So, yeah, that sort of thing can happen. Definitely didn''t happen with our first child. (my girls are now 20 and 17, woo)

When I had our first child, I was completely overwhelmed with the responsibility for the first 6 weeks, I''m not going to lie. In fact, I developed post-natal depression, and just as it was becoming a serious issue, I came out of it. I was so afraid of experiencing that again, at first I was convinced I didn''t want any more children. But eventually I overcame that too. With my second, I was all prepped (with my doctor) to have to deal with the emotional issues again, and for some reason I didn''t even have one day of the blues at all.

Don''t be afraid. Accept and ask for help before or when you need it. Don''t worry about everything, because as we found out (as all parents do), in the end, you can''t really break them, and no matter how you raise them, when they grow up they actually become completely independent and have their own ideas about life!

I sometimes actually wish we''d had more than 2, so it went from scary to wonderful in no time! Good luck.

 

[divergrrl]

I personally love parenting. Sure my kid is still new....(he''ll be 3 this year) and sure there are some days that are harder than others, but those are few and far between, but I have a ton of patience. I like a bendy life of balance and going with the flow. Sometimes I think being a SAHM is boring, but I''m sure having #2 will cure that in a snap!

Hard was when my son was in the ER last month & they thought he had diabetes (he didn''t). But the stuff I was scared of? Discipline, diapers, loss of self, puking kids, defiance, etc? Well, maybe I''m just an eternal optimist, but it wasn''t as bad as I "horriblized" it. My son can be a pain in the rear sometimes, but I look at discipline like any other job function....its not PERSONAL to me, its part of my job & I''m very consistent with it. yeah, things have changed, but definitely for the better. I still love my husband, and while I''m definitely a mom, I''m still ME...only now I always carry baby wipes & Purell.

I adore my son like nothing I''ve ever known before, I hate being away from him for one second (although I did thoroughly enjoy my girls cruise last December & am eagerly planning a romantic va-cay to Cabo with DH next spring---kiddos with grandparents) and you just sort of fall into it.

Look at it this way, life makes some people bitter and others better...pick how you want to approach it and you can handle anything.


And I agree with Storm....DUCT TAPE! (I never travel without it, can babyproof any hotel room)

 

[TravelingGal]

OK, stupid question diver...but how do you babyproof a hotel room with duct tape? Pardon my ignorance, but I don''t even know what it generally entails to baby proof a room.

(my poor child is going to fall on a bed of knives...ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

)

 

[turtledazzle]

Date: 9/6/2007 9:23:20 PM
Author: TravelingGal
OK, stupid question diver...but how do you babyproof a hotel room with duct tape? Pardon my ignorance, but I don't even know what it generally entails to baby proof a room.

(my poor child is going to fall on a bed of knives...ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

)

Ok, I am SOOOO not a mommy and not sure I will be, but I lurk a lot in these PS baby threads since four close friends had babies in June (they were all at our May wedding ~ we have some cute pics.

Any way, I'd assume that you baby proof with duct tape by covering electrical outlets and taping cabinets and drawers from being opened????

TGal -- you're going to make a great mommy. I am so enjoying hearing about your pg experiences!

ETA: Oh, and Diver -- I cannot wait to meet Delaney!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 9/7/2007 12:11:31 AM
Author: turtledazzle

Date: 9/6/2007 9:23:20 PM
Author: TravelingGal
OK, stupid question diver...but how do you babyproof a hotel room with duct tape? Pardon my ignorance, but I don''t even know what it generally entails to baby proof a room.

(my poor child is going to fall on a bed of knives...ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

)

Ok, I am SOOOO not a mommy and not sure I will be, but I lurk a lot in these PS baby threads since four close friends had babies in June (they were all at our May wedding ~ we have some cute pics.

Any way, I''d assume that you baby proof with duct tape by covering electrical outlets and taping cabinets and drawers from being opened????

TGal -- you''re going to make a great mommy. I am so enjoying hearing about your pg experiences!

ETA: Oh, and Diver -- I cannot wait to meet Delaney!

OHHHHHHHHHHHH....

Somehow I thought you are supposed to strap the tot to a chair or something...

Oops.

(I wouldn''t be making any bets if I were you Turtle.

)

 

[snlee]

Date: 9/7/2007 1:47:29 AM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 9/7/2007 12:11:31 AM

Author: turtledazzle

Date: 9/6/2007 9:23:20 PM

Author: TravelingGal

OK, stupid question diver...but how do you babyproof a hotel room with duct tape? Pardon my ignorance, but I don''t even know what it generally entails to baby proof a room.

(my poor child is going to fall on a bed of knives...ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

)

Ok, I am SOOOO not a mommy and not sure I will be, but I lurk a lot in these PS baby threads since four close friends had babies in June (they were all at our May wedding ~ we have some cute pics.

Any way, I''d assume that you baby proof with duct tape by covering electrical outlets and taping cabinets and drawers from being opened????



TGal -- you''re going to make a great mommy. I am so enjoying hearing about your pg experiences!

ETA: Oh, and Diver -- I cannot wait to meet Delaney!

OHHHHHHHHHHHH....

Somehow I thought you are supposed to strap the tot to a chair or something...

Oops.

(I wouldn''t be making any bets if I were you Turtle.

)

LMAO! It''s a good thing you have the pregnant PSers thread to give you good advice. I don''t know where you would be without it! j/k! You''ll learn as you go and you and TGuy will be great parents!

 

[Ellen]

Tip #1. Do not leave piles of knives laying around.

(that killed me Ebree!)


Tip #2. Do not be scared. You are smart, and have way more resourses at your fingertips than us oldtimers. You also have a built in "motherly instinct", just pay attention to it, it will serve you well.

Tip #3. Let your kids be kids, get dirty, and explore. Don't sweat the small stuff. Small stuff being, when you walk into the kitchen and your wee one has managed to get the cabinet door open, pulled the Wesson bottle out, opened it and poured oil all over the floor and is now swimming in it with such a look of delight on their face. Please, don't get mad, take pictures!

Tip #4. When you have 2 or 3 small ones in tow, you haven't had a good nights sleep since before you were pregnant - with the first one, the kids have managed to get on your last nerve, and someone has the audacity to say to you, "Enjoy this time, these really are the good years"? Believe them. They are.

Tip #5. Remember that life with teenage kids does not even remotely resemble Leave it to Beaver and Andy Griffith. Expecting moments depicted from TV shows will only set you up for dissapointment. Instead of expecting a "Gee mom, you're right" and a hug, after diciplining with an explanation as to why, consider an "I HATE YOU" and slamming of the door to be a resounding success. You're on the right track.

(seriously, be their parent first and foremost)

Tip #6. Don't be too hard on yourself and your decisions. Face it, they don't come with a handbook. I'm still pizzed about that.

Tip #7. Never be too big to apologize to your kids. You'd be amazed at how much those two words can smooth over the situation you just mucked up because there isn't a damn handbook.


Tip #7. Savor the moments, ALL of them, our kids really do grow up in the blink of an eye.

And no, there isn't a harder job to be found, nor one more rewarding.

 

[divergrrl]

How to babyproof a hotel room with duct tape:

You can tape these things shut:

Mini bar, cabinet doors they won''t stop messing with, armoire doors, etc.

Tape over electrical outlets

Tape long curtain cords (strangling hazards up)

And in the case of our hotel room in Mexico last year that was ALL SQUARE MARBLE TABLES & FURNITURE (with razor sharp corners) duct tape hand towels & washclothes to the corners to soften them so young son does not crack head open. He did however manage to trip over his own feed & do a header and somehow thunk his forehead on the marble baseboards & got a nice scar on his cute little face.

Repair rickety Mexican crib that fell apart 2 mins after we put Jake in it.

I also tape the trays on airplanes up or Jake is forever futzing with them & annoying the person in front of him.

I''m DUCT TAPE MOM!!!!!

Although, (and Storm will love this) my mom once let me duct tape my brother to a chair on a beach trip. He was being a turd....he must''ve been...6? I was 12? That ruled.

 

[divergrrl]

Ellen: Best list ever...especially #3....


And when you really need sleep...give the kids some Benadryl before bed. Ahhh.....everyone''s out.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 9/7/2007 5:12:55 PM
Author: divergrrl
Ellen: Best list ever...especially #3....


And when you really need sleep...give the kids some Benadryl before bed. Ahhh.....everyone''s out.

Thanks diver. It''s nice to be reassured I actually got something out of this wild, 3 boys ride.

And about the Benadryl, why I would NEVER.....




admit that.

 

[Ellen]

Forgot to add, taping your brother up is hilarious! Did it hurt taking it off?

 

[divergrrl]

Date: 9/7/2007 5:55:40 PM
Author: Ellen

Date: 9/7/2007 5:12:55 PM
Author: divergrrl
Ellen: Best list ever...especially #3....


And when you really need sleep...give the kids some Benadryl before bed. Ahhh.....everyone''s out.

Thanks diver. It''s nice to be reassured I actually got something out of this wild, 3 boys ride.

And about the Benadryl, why I would NEVER.....




admit that.

ROTFLMAO! Hey, if the Ped suggests it...by all means....

 

[clammer]

I know that I''m supposed to be emotional since I''m pregnant, but I just started to cry when I read Ellen''s message. Seriously, I can not handle 7 more months of randomly bursting in tears at cheesy commercials and such.

 

[diamondfan]

Indy, maybe run to the doctor and discuss your concerns, but I would not like being pregnant on my wedding day and honeymoon! If you feel ill, forget not being able to drink, how about not being able to keep from being sick in front of everyone? Oh, that would not be a fun thing. I am sure all is fine with you and your man, you can always tell a doctor if you think there is an issue, but you can always start on your honeymoon!!!!

 

[E B]

Ellen, that list is fabulous. Thank you! I''m going to remember it, and revisit it every 3 months I''m pregnant, and every 3 months after.

Diver, your list of duct tape-proofing is also fabulous. Perhaps we should make this a sticky in the family section?

 

[hlmr]

Date: 9/7/2007 2:35:13 PM
Author: Ellen
Tip #1. Do not leave piles of knives laying around.

(that killed me Ebree!)


Tip #2. Do not be scared. You are smart, and have way more resourses at your fingertips than us oldtimers. You also have a built in ''motherly instinct'', just pay attention to it, it will serve you well.

Tip #3. Let your kids be kids, get dirty, and explore. Don''t sweat the small stuff. Small stuff being, when you walk into the kitchen and your wee one has managed to get the cabinet door open, pulled the Wesson bottle out, opened it and poured oil all over the floor and is now swimming in it with such a look of delight on their face. Please, don''t get mad, take pictures!

Tip #4. When you have 2 or 3 small ones in tow, you haven''t had a good nights sleep since before you were pregnant - with the first one, the kids have managed to get on your last nerve, and someone has the audacity to say to you, ''Enjoy this time, these really are the good years''? Believe them. They are.

Tip #5. Remember that life with teenage kids does not even remotely resemble Leave it to Beaver and Andy Griffith. Expecting moments depicted from TV shows will only set you up for dissapointment. Instead of expecting a ''Gee mom, you''re right'' and a hug, after diciplining with an explanation as to why, consider an ''I HATE YOU'' and slamming of the door to be a resounding success. You''re on the right track.

(seriously, be their parent first and foremost)

Tip #6. Don''t be too hard on yourself and your decisions. Face it, they don''t come with a handbook. I''m still pizzed about that.

Tip #7. Never be too big to apologize to your kids. You''d be amazed at how much those two words can smooth over the situation you just mucked up because there isn''t a damn handbook.


Tip #7. Savor the moments, ALL of them, our kids really do grow up in the blink of an eye.

And no, there isn''t a harder job to be found, nor one more rewarding.

I love tip # 7 - the first tip # 7 - it is SO true!!

Also, never stop hugging and kissing your kids, even when they are bigger than you.....that''s when they need it more than ever (and so do you!)

 

[Mara]

Date: 9/6/2007 10:47:09 AM
Author: ephemery1
Anyway, fingers crossed that Snlee, Ebree, Sophie and I will all be PS preggos together sometime next year!! (And maybe Mara too?

)

Oh Ephem, Greg and I just like TALKING about it...hehhee. Who knows when we''ll get around to it. Everyone always tells us if you wait til you are ''ready'' you''ll never have kids.

Honestly, it''s so amazing to me to see all these gals on here who came into PS one or two or four years ago looking for e-rings....got married and now everyone is married and starting to have their babies!!! The circle of life...so fabulous...!!

 

[strmrdr]

Date: 9/7/2007 5:10:31 PM
Author: divergrrl
How to babyproof a hotel room with duct tape:

You can tape these things shut:

Mini bar, cabinet doors they won't stop messing with, armoire doors, etc.

Tape over electrical outlets

Tape long curtain cords (strangling hazards up)

And in the case of our hotel room in Mexico last year that was ALL SQUARE MARBLE TABLES & FURNITURE (with razor sharp corners) duct tape hand towels & washclothes to the corners to soften them so young son does not crack head open. He did however manage to trip over his own feed & do a header and somehow thunk his forehead on the marble baseboards & got a nice scar on his cute little face.

Repair rickety Mexican crib that fell apart 2 mins after we put Jake in it.

I also tape the trays on airplanes up or Jake is forever futzing with them & annoying the person in front of him.

I'm DUCT TAPE MOM!!!!!

Although, (and Storm will love this) my mom once let me duct tape my brother to a chair on a beach trip. He was being a turd....he must've been...6? I was 12? That ruled.

duct tape also works for making a splint for sprains and broken bones.
A clean towel and some duct tape will make a decent pressure bandage to stop bleeding.
Talking about keeping a baby from falling out of a chair a long towel works or a belt but duct tape will too if the towel is too short.
and if all else fails threaten too duct tape em by the feet too the ceiling fan and turn it on high!!!!

duct tape is fairly easy to remove from skin without pain, wet it and yank as long as the glue hasnt set it will come right off. (24-48 hours)

 

[Independent Gal]

Diamondfan (et al.): I was talking to a pregnant friend and she was all ''honey, don''t even THINK about risking being knocked up at your wedding. Not a good plan''. I''m convinced. For one thing, she pointed out, I''m going to be taking some looooong flights to GET to the weddings, so I guess it might not be fun to be puking the whole way. Not to mention what you pointed out about ''I do'' being interrupted by a return of breakfast.

(Sorry about that ladies). Hopefully everything will work right, and an extra 3 months won''t make a difference. Partly it''s that FI is even more excited than I am, and he''s definitely more excited about us getting knocked up than about the wedding. So he keeps saying ''Can''t we try now? Can''t we?''

That''s hilarious about duct taping your brother Diver... there were a few times I would have liked to do that! But the worst I ever did was suctioning a turkey baster onto my brother''s (enormous) earlobe. He was seriously pissed. It was just hanging there gloriously for about 5 minutes until we figured out how to release the suction.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 9/8/2007 11:19:39 PM
Author: Rebot
I know that I''m supposed to be emotional since I''m pregnant, but I just started to cry when I read Ellen''s message. Seriously, I can not handle 7 more months of randomly bursting in tears at cheesy commercials and such.

Aww. lol Hang in there, it''ll be over before ya know it!

Ebree, you''re welcome. You''re going to make a great mommy!

hlmr, lol, I didn''t even realize I had two 7''s!! (oops) And so true about hugs and kisses.

 

[diamondfan]

IG, that''s what I suspected...hubby to be wants to PRACTICE a lot first!!!!

Honestly, I would just focus on the wedding, and enjoy. You never know how you will be pregnant, you might feel awesome or awful, so on your big day that is not fun! Also, I love wine, and was in the French and Italian Riviera for my honeymoon, and though I am not a big drinker at all, I honestly would not have wanted to pass up the amazing wines we shared. I am sure you will come home from the honeymoon and get busy!!!!

 

[ephemery1]

Date: 9/9/2007 2:23:40 AM
Author: Mara

Date: 9/6/2007 10:47:09 AM
Author: ephemery1
Anyway, fingers crossed that Snlee, Ebree, Sophie and I will all be PS preggos together sometime next year!! (And maybe Mara too?

)

Oh Ephem, Greg and I just like TALKING about it...hehhee. Who knows when we''ll get around to it. Everyone always tells us if you wait til you are ''ready'' you''ll never have kids.

Honestly, it''s so amazing to me to see all these gals on here who came into PS one or two or four years ago looking for e-rings....got married and now everyone is married and starting to have their babies!!! The circle of life...so fabulous...!!

Hehe.... talk, schmalk. I know there''s a mini-Mara hidden somewhere in the gleam of her father''s eye, all ready for her first little diamond.

And of course if you move to Philly, that would make it all even more fun!

 

[divergrrl]

Oh...I forgot to say.

I was NEVER one of those women who wanted children. Nope, not moi. Husband, yes, dog, yes, career, yes...kids? aw hell no! Be a SAHM? Why on earth would I waste my private college education & 13 years of a good career just to stay home & watch Barney with some cheerio eating short person?

ROTFLMAO...Jokes on me. 1 toddler, 1 baby due in 1.5 weeks, been home since #1 came along.

Sometimes I miss work (the suits, lunches, paycheck, social part) but no way would I trade it for one second of being home with Jake. It''s actually a lot of fun, and very hard work that is immensely satisfying. When you work with them teaching them things & then see them doing/assimilating it later, its really rewarding. When you are consistent with discipline and see the effects of it, its a good day.

And if your last nerve isn''t frayed (those days just call for a bath & BIG glass of wine or two after they go to bed--they happen) sometimes the bad stuff (at least when little...ask me again when he can drive) they get into is pretty dang funny. Jake threw a monster tantrum a while back, ugliest I''d ever seen. So I whipped out my camcorder & taped it. LOL. That ticked him off & he stopped. I now have blackmail material. Its GREAT.

Independent Gal: I almost spit my coffee all over my laptop reading your turkey baster story. HILARIOUS! I love it. We should start a thread on sibling torture.