Paging Skippy and any other parents of multiples

[pavelover]

hi! I am expecting twins and will be twelve weeks this Friday. I would love to hear any btdt advice from moms or dads of multiples on any area you feel like sharing about. I'm interested in how your pregnancy went, if you were treated as high risk, how you managed at home, especially at the beginning, if you were as scared as I am . I would be so appreciative of any information. Oh, also if there was a good twins forum you took part in? I love pricescope and honestly the other forums don't compare but I thought I would just check. Thanks in advance!

 

[Skippy123]

Pavelover, congratulations!!!! I was incredibly scared but I do think it is normal for preggo to be scared (single or twin). I actually joined babycenter but did not find the ladies useful; some really worried and that made it worse and some didn't and I couldn't identify. I liked the PS preggos because we already knew each other. I did see a high risk doctor and had appts often. I had my boys almost 10 weeks early and they were born weighing 3 lbs 8 ozs and 3 lbs 5 ozs. I have other first cousins who had twins and they all made it full term. I NEVER in a million years imagined I would have them so early. I was very healthy, ate healthy. I just think it is hard to know if you will be early or not; I think the important thing is to listen to your body; I started really swelling and didn't take it easy since I didn't feel bad, but maybe I should of, but who knows??? The high risk doctors told me the Friday I saw them to keep doing what I was doing that everything looked awesome but I had them that Monday. You probably will do great, a lot of the twin moms made it much longer than I did!! The avg my doctor said is approx 35 weeks. I would also recommend a birthing class from the hospital; my class taught me so much so when labor did happen for me, I knew exactly what was going on and what I needed.

Do you have a local twins club in your area? I joined but didn't go to meets but now I am slowly meeting local twin moms and when we were in the NICU a made friends with another twin mom and she is an official in the club and she is just an amazing momma to chat with since having twins is so different than just one little one. You might ask the local mommas about breast feeding if you want to do that. Or see an LC or a class before the time comes

The early months are the hardest since you are sleep deprived. People kept asking me if I had anyone to help me; I never realized how much work 2 would be. I would have your mom or a sister or friend help you for the first month. I would also make a lot of meals for you and your husband in a few months and freeze them so you all have something to eat. It is a wild ride but so worth it!!!!

do you have any specific questions you can think of? I am not a club kind of person but I did help with an event a couple of times and it was nice to talk about the boys with other twin moms so I would see if there was a local one near you.

 

[Skippy123]

Hi, I do want to say one thing that I almost forgot about when I was pregnant. I use to weigh 135 before I got preggo and I am 5' 4. Anyway my doctor didn't see a ton of twin moms but his coworker did (small group of doctors), he thought I was overweight before being preggo. He was crazy and told me I should only gain about 30 lbs at first he said 20 but then upped it to 30 because he forgot I was having twins (I am sure if I made it longer I would of gained more than 33 lbs). The good thing about Baby Center was a lot of the twin moms doctors recommended this book http://www.amazon.com/Youre-Expecting-Twins-Triplets-Quads/dp/0061803073/ref=pd_sim_b_1 I checked it out from the library and worked hard at putting on some weight at 20 weeks. I think that really helped fatten my sons up when I went at 30 weeks and a few days. I know another twin mom on PS that got the book too, I would check it out.

 

[Kunzite]

Hi pave

I don't have time for a proper response (you're in for ZERO free time!!!), but you don't mention what type of twins you have. Mono/mono, mono/di, di/di? That makes a big difference on your medical care. You have to find out by 12ish weeks or there is a chance your placentas can fuse and they won't know for sure.

 

[Skippy123]

Hi pave

I don't have time for a proper response (you're in for ZERO free time!!!), but you don't mention what type of twins you have. Mono/mono, mono/di, di/di? That makes a big difference on your medical care. You have to find out by 12ish weeks or there is a chance your placentas can fuse and they won't know for sure.

I have been thinking of you Kunzite!!! How are you all doing!!!

 

[pavelover]

Skippy Thanks! I watched an interesting show on discovery on a hospital in Az that takes care of multiple preg moms. This mom of quads was fed 5000 cal per day! I have been concerned about gaining enough and not sure what to do. You introduced me to spark people a few years ago(not sure if you remember) as I have terrible willpower. Crazy metabolism as I mostly can eat whatever I want but rarely gain much weight. This has been a problem because pre babies I would just get fast food or munch on m&ms if I wanted. I'm not proud, just being honest, lol. Now that I know I need to eat healthy I have been trying to make better choices. Problem is, none of them seem to be very calorie dense. I was thinking of trying to use spark in the opposite way- I thinkthere was some kind of calorie counter there. I would love to hear what you ate to gain? For my first son I gained ok but not a ton- maybe 25 pounds? He was 6 lbs 13 oz. Which I was happy with.
I will check out that book you said. My scale hasn't budged although the scale at my NT scan showed I was up 1.5 kg but I don't thnk it was right. Is it ok if I keep posting questins? I know you might be a little busy . How old are your twins?

Kunzite Hi! I knew there was another twin mommy but I was havi g trouble recalling who it was. I can imagine you are busy. This is part of what scares me, but hey I'llget through it right?????? hope you find a few minutes for yourself somehow, someway. Nice to see you!
Oh! Your question- sorry. They are in two sacs with two placentas and are "far" from each other whatever that means in a tiny uterus lol. Baby a is low in my uterus and placenta is actually covering my cervix (I read/heard from doc this will likely change) and baby b is kind of way above and placenta is anterior, I think. So I think this is a good thing and shouldn't be as high risk as other twin mommas.
I'm living in SE Asia so I am curious what my care would be in the states compared to here. Right now the perinatalogist wants to see me every two weeks. She also wants me on progesterone the whole pregnancy(I don't agree with this and don't know why she wants it). I'm going to meet with another dr and see how that goes.

 

[alene]

Congrats on your twin pregnancy! Yes it's terrifying at times so hang in there! My twins are now 4 (where did the time go?) but if I could give one piece of advice for both pregnancy and the early months, it would be to try and accept that you may have much less control over the situation and not to have very specific expectations. I fully expected to carry my twins to terms but after 30 weeks of healthy and basically uneventful pregnancy became very high risk and they had to come out early (36 weeks). I was expecting a vaginal birth but they were both breach so c-section it was. I was determined to breastfeed exclusively but my son was unable to nurse for the first 3 months and even though I pumped just about every waking moment, I never produced quite enough for exclusive breastfeeding. Accepting that many of these decisions were just not up to me sooner probably would've likely been a very good thing for my mental health back then... If you can have help in the first few weeks/months, use it! The first few months are going to be brutal because the kids will not be on any kind of regular schedule and, in my experience, they were never asleep at the same time, so sleeping when the baby sleeps just doesn't work with twins.

As far as eating, I know there are two schools of thought about it but not every doctor believes it's essential to gain a huge amount. Gaining too much can lead to GD and other problems too and can make it hard to lose the pounds later. I was sick through my entire pregnancy and gained less then 30 lbs (I was pretty thin to begin with). My doctor wasn't worried at all and my kids were and are fine! I did indulge in ice cream almost daily though as it was one of the few things I could eat and it was one of the more enjoyable aspects of my pregnancy!

Twin forums - a word of caution, you'll more than likely come across some scary things that will make you panic needlessly. More than likely you and your twins are going to be fine and if you do have any concerns (and you probably will), it's really best to bring them up with your OB and not your internet friends. Having said that, I found Fertilityfriend to be a good source while pregnant and occasionally used twinstuff.com. I found a local twin listserv most useful in the early days though, if you have one in your area, I'd definitely consider joining.

I may have a bit more free time than the other mothers with young twins so if you have any specific questions, I'd be happy to chime in.

 

[pavelover]

Hi Alene! Thank you so much. I'm sitting here trying not to cry after reading your response...I'm not sure why. Pregnancy hormones are so fun.
I forgot to mention that I am concerned about GD as I am an older mom (41) and I think I read it's more common in twin pregnancies. That's why I have been trying not to indulge in my usual junk food habits. I think I'm going to try and add in a healthy smoothie with no added sugar and hopefully that will help bump up my calories a little. Do you remember at how many weeks you got the ggt? I think they will do mine at 24 weeks and I have labs to be drawn that include a fasting blood sugar just so dr can see where I am at. She said if it's high she may do ggt earlier.
I found twinstuff and it seems pretty reasonable with no scary stories yet. I tortured myself with ff during my first pregnancy so I am trying to minimize how much time I spend on forums but pricescope has always been so great.
Thank you for being willing to answer my questions. It's nice to know things have calmed down by 4 years old. I know Skippy and Kunzite are pretty well occupied .
I have never been one for routine or a strict schedule but I feel that I'm going to have to change to maintain my sanity, lol. I know the beginning will be rough- did you try when they were new to wake the 2nd when the first one woke? Or soon after. Did it work? After 6 weeks of what seemed like hell to me my son finally got the hang of breastfeeding. After that I loved it and was able to maintain for a long time. That helped me to have a positive attitude about trying to bf twins but still I have read plenty of stories where it just isn't going to work. That's good advice to manage my expectations- never been too good at that haha. bF seems so much easier than preparing formula though so hopefully it will work out.
I'm writing a novel so I will end this. Thanks again Alene! I'm sure I will continue to have plenty of questions...
So cool yesterday I realized I really am feeling movement already! Just felt it again. First blamed it on gas but it's always in the same exact spot. The best!!!!!

 

[Skippy123]

Pave, I second Alene's suggestion on getting help! My family didn't help a ton but I did hire someone for 2 1/2 months; I would of kept her longer but she was in college and had a busy fall semester and by then I felt more confident caring for the boys. I think Alene gave you excellent advice. I remember sitting with the babies early in the morning and feeling overwhelmed and thought I just need to surrender to this and and soon it will get easier and sure enough it did! I liked having a routine. I did a 3 hour routine just because 2 is lots of work. I did it loosely but mine was sort of like this, 6 am feed, then play, then nap, rinse and repeat. The boys liked having that routine too. We are still routine driven but I know some twin moms aren't.

Pave you have a son? Oh so you are like Kunzite! well when I ate for my twins I would eat lots of high fat health foods; I agree it is easier to get GD but the doctors said I did well gaining weight for the boys; I think from what I remember they want yo to gain weight at week 20, that is the time your little ones need the food to pack on the weight for themselves. I would eat avocados, cheese, carrots and hummus. I actually was anemic so I tired to get red meat in and I guess that is kind of normal for twin moms so ask when they do blood work; they almost didn't catch it with me but I had to go on iron and vit c to absorb the iron better. Yes I remember you from the HLT!!!!

How are you feeling?

the best thing about twins is how close they are best pals!!!

 

[Kunzite]

Pave, I promise to come back later....

Skippy!! I've been meaning to email you for months!! Please share all of your nap advise with me!! I have HSHHT in a box somewhere from the move, I'll likely never find it!! We're really struggling with naps right now (oh Pave, see what you're in for??)!!

 

[Skippy123]

Pave, I promise to come back later....

Skippy!! I've been meaning to email you for months!! Please share all of your nap advise with me!! I have HSHHT in a box somewhere from the move, I'll likely never find it!! We're really struggling with naps right now (oh Pave, see what you're in for??)!!

I will post here and also drop you a line in case this might help P w/her twins too. My boys were on the NICU schedule which I am sure might be the same for you. They would wake, feed, play and then when I could tell they were getting fussy we would swaddle them and put them down. Miles is my bad sleeper; Evan was better. I sometimes would put Miles in the Snugabunny swing since the motion put him to sleep (having 2 makes you not worry about them sleeping in swings as you probably already might do the swing). Do they have reflux Kunzite? The Fisher Price Rock N Plays were awesome since my boys had some reflux and that kept them upright and kept them from spitting up so much and they slept better in those. I actually just sold them at a twins sale. I would swaddle, and then rock them both it and made sure they had their paci's to soothe themselves and use a sound maching that makes ocean waves; they still use it. I notice they love white noise. That would help them fall asleep. Also during naps I would make their room a little darker. I hope they nap; having a routine helped but I know it doesn't always work. hugs and best wishes.

 

[alene]

Hi Pave,
Yay on the movement, that's really exciting! Sorry, I don't remember exactly when I had the glucose test but around 24 weeks sounds about right. I only did the initial one since my glucose was not an issue but generally you're right that GD is more likely with twins. I did have anemia though, which, like many other complications, is also more common with multiple pregnancies, so had to take some extra iron.

Yes, things definitely get much easier by 4 . Actually, for us things got much easier after the first 3-4 months, when they started sleeping for 4 -hour stretches at a time. I think somewhere between 6 and 16 months was the easiest period, before the terrible twos started way too early. I know that waking one up when the other is awake works for some people quite well. For me I found it only worked after the first few weeks, when some sort of sleep patterns began to emerge. So once I knew that the other baby would wake up anyway in half an hour, I'd wake that one up just a little early so I could get at least some sleep. Sometimes though I actually found it easier to have them awake one at a time; nursing one while trying to bottle feed the other just always seemed like a huge pain and it took a while to get the hang of tandem nursing for us... I was never big on schedules before I had my kids but I really became a nap nazi once I did have them. I found that keeping them on a regular schedule, once we had a schedule in place, made a huge difference and ensured that everyone got some sleep. Even being a few minutes late for a nap could mean a screaming, overtired baby and I wanted to avoid it at all costs. They were awake for surprisingly short periods of time at first. For a while they'd wake up at 6 am and would be ready for a nap by 7:30. It's totally possible though that it was just my kids' temperament and others are just more easygoing... I think one of the coolest things about having twins is seeing how different they are and how early those differences emerge. My daughter loved being swaddled, my son hated it. He liked his pacifier she wouldn't touch it. He wanted to be held when upset, she wanted to be left alone. I think having two of the same age just really drives it home that they're different people with their own personalities even at just days old.

 

[jas]

Congrats Pave! I'm skimming right now, but am available if you need advice.

I'm-a gonna go back and read this all now, and if anything pops into my mind, I'll post. (I have twin boys, now 4 and a newborn, so it's all very fresh.)

 

[jas]

hi! I am expecting twins and will be twelve weeks this Friday. I would love to hear any btdt advice from moms or dads of multiples on any area you feel like sharing about. I'm interested in how your pregnancy went, if you were treated as high risk, how you managed at home, especially at the beginning, if you were as scared as I am . I would be so appreciative of any information. Oh, also if there was a good twins forum you took part in? I love pricescope and honestly the other forums don't compare but I thought I would just check. Thanks in advance!

Ah, ok. I should have just started with this...(but I just am always so happy when someone is having twins!)

Alene and Skippy gave great advice...

My pregnancy was fairly typical. Many ob/gyns will treat multiples as high (or at least higher) risk. I was 35-36 during the pregnancy, so that added to it. Apparently that made me a geriatric preggo patient. I know that geriatric is a clinical term, but it made me laugh. And cringe. Mostly cringe.

The early part of the pregnancy, it felt pretty typical, just showed more and earlier. Then the questions started. Be prepared. When people (ones you know and complete strangers) hear you are having twins, all filters fly off. Many folks will ask if they are "natural" and some will ask about fertility treatments. Like it's their business.

I was on modified bedrest after 20 weeks...meaning I needed to be vertical for 6-8 hours a day (not counting sleep at night.) I was fortunate enough to be working from home, so this was possible. This has been prescribed to a few of the twin preggos I know, so you may want to be prepared for that if you are working.

By the end of the pregnancy, I felt large and not-so-much in charge. Just excited and worried and waiting. I put on about 60 pounds. Yeah, I said it. 60.

I was getting u/s every visit by week 20 or so. Bonus!
I had pre-term labor at 32 weeks, but was out of the hospital after 48 hours. Much stricter bedrest after that. Which was fine, actually, as I could barely keep my eyes open. SO TIRED!

I was terrified. Everyone either reacted in HORROR to the idea of twins (i.e. *Wide eyes* "Well, good luck with THAT!") or reacted in sort of a romanticized way ("Wow! I always wanted twins!") Everyone shared the medical scary stories of someone they knew who had the most bizarro twin pregnancy ever ("...and then one twin was delivered out of her eyeball!") Now, yes, twin pregnancies have their own brand of risks, but leave most of that to your doctors.

I went into labor at 36 1/2 weeks. Baby A was footling breech, so I had an emergency c/s. Which was cool. The boys needed no nicu time.

I second, third, and eight-seventh the idea of getting help when you can. Do NOT worry about your house. Do NOT feel you need to entertain anyone. People who come to visit are their to either (a) help or (b) coo at babies. They will not notice anything else. This is a roundabout way of saying...SLEEP WHEN YOU CAN! And as you get closer to d-day, you can start researching how best to get the twinsies on a similar sleep schedule. We didn't do that at first, and were feeding every 2 hours at night. No bueno.

We did have a night nurse a few nights a week. Savior. For real.

I'm sorry if I'm posting unhelpful things...please ask away!

 

[pavelover]

Jas Hey! I was thinking of you as one of the twin moms! I remember you from my first time around the pregnancy thread/etc. Always missed your comedic posts and you didn't let me down today with a baby coming through someone's eye . Thanks for sharing your experiences on all fronts. It's much appreciated. You really got far into your pregnancy. I was reading some scary stories yesterday online. I know I should stay away but I was trying to see if many nurses can work while pregnant with twins since you have to be on your feet so much. I am actually planning on working a couple of days a week now that I'm in my 2nd trimester (just for about a month total) so I'm hoping my body can handle that ok. If it can't I guess I just will have to stop. 60 pounds seems pretty good! How did trying to get back to a lower weight go after the babies? I would imagine exercise gets pushed way back in the priorities list after twins come. I am 41 now and with my drs. conservative personality I have truly felt like a dinosaur these past few months. The u/s dr. the other day told me I wasn't old so yay! That was SO nice to hear, lol. I know it must have been hard when the twins first came but it really helps to hear how you felt so thanks for being honest. I picture myself like that, sitting there crying with three kids crying around me . I'm sure I will get through it but I get overwhelmed just thinking about it, for sure. Thanks so much for all the info and I'm gonna post more questions soon. I'm just trying to digest what was written so far. So appreciative that you guys take the time to give me your experiences


Alene Thanks for the information about the schedules etc. For my first son I had to attempt to bf, pump, then bottle feed so I was going nuts for the first 6 weeks home after a couple of weeks in the hospital. It seemed like all I did was around different methods of feeding. Maybe it will be good practice for twins! LOL. I keep hoping I will have these mellow, breastfeeding twins and I will just put them on (latch) and that will be it! It's nice to dream, hehe. I really will have to remember what you guys are telling me about surrendering. One thing I'm hoping will help me is that at least I have been through having one baby before- I feel like the things I stressed about before I won't feel inclined to stress about this time, if that makes sense. Thanks again for sharing and I am happy for your input. you know I am trying not to worry but since I felt that movement wednesday/thursday it hasn't happened again. I am trying my hardest to convince myself that the babies are still so small it's not surprising to feel them all the time. I wish I could I have a magic pill not to worry.

Skippy Thanks for sharing the info on the sleep schedules. I have a friend of a friend who has twins and put them on a nicu type schedule and that really worked for her. I told myself that this time I would not use so much "help" for baby to sleep- my son slept in a swing for a really really long time all night. He was a terrible sleeper and I felt desperate. I guess I shouldn't rule anything out just in case I need the extra help .

Kunzite Good to "see" you anytime you are here. No worries about a post as I can imagine how busy life is. Your kids looked so happy on the plane ride! You are brave- although if you had to move I guess you didn't really have a choice, hehe.

Questions-
when did you feel movement and was it continuous after the first time? I swear i felt it a few days ago and not since. Rationally I know they are so small that its not surprising if I can't feel them all the time. Curious what it was like for you?

Did you guys have crazy bloat/pressure early on? I swear way above the height of where my uterus likely is, I look like I am I dunno like 4-5 months? I have always had a tummy which of course is still there but I look big! I know it's not actually baby since at the u/s the other day the wand was still just above my pubic area. It also really affects my appetite.
I'm sure I have a bazillion more questions but I can't think clearly right now. I will write more later. Thanks for answering whoever has time .
Oh Skippy you asked how I was feeling- I am starting to have more energy which is so awesome because I really thought I was never going to get it back, lol. I have minimal nausea that comes and goes. Usually feel better after I eat unless it's greasy food then I feel awful. Sensitive when I brush my teeth and sometimes hurl but overall have it pretty easy. I'm kind of a wuss and feel from all the bloat its even hard to walk/get out of the car. I'm only 12 weeks. I will need a front end loader by the end, lol.

 

[Kunzite]

Okay, I'm going to do a list so I keep my thoughts straight!!

*High Risk - Yes, I was treated as high risk for a couple of reasons. 1. My son, Oliver, was born at 31 weeks so we were concerned about preterm labor. 2. Like I mentioned before, you have to figure out your placenta issues before 12 weeks and that didn't happen for me (very long story about a clerical error), so we weren't sure if I was di/di with fused placentas or mono/di with one placenta. So I was treated as mono/di as a precaution. Turns out after the babies were born that the pathology came back as di/di, but I won't complain about the extra monitoring!!

*Twin forums - Like Skippy, I read Baby Center some but never posted. The ladies there would occasionally have some really good information or conversations but it was really slow moving and mostly just posts like, "I just found out I was having twins!!" Ironically, we just moved to a new town recently and there wasn't a very active MOM group. We live next door to another family that just moved in too and they have twins and the mom is getting a group started. I probably won't be a part of it but my DH is! HAHA! He's the social one. They even changed the name to Parents of Multiples for him (sexist group!!).

*When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads - Great book!! Get it now!!

*Progesterone - Are you talking about the P17 shots? I was going to be on these when my OB thought I was going to have a singleton but as soon as we found out it was twins he said the science doesn't back it up and insurance won't cover it. In trials it wasn't shown to make a difference for preterm labor in twins. That said, one peri also told me that if she had her way all the twin moms would get it anyway just in case since it can't hurt.

*GD - Obviously it's not a good thing, but I wouldn't worry too much. I was diagnosed with GD with very borderline numbers (most likely just because I was having twins). It was really easy to manage and no big deal. It was actually kind of fun to see what my blood sugar was doing, but I'm weird like that.

*Sleep - Skippy, we're doing all of those things!! Here's where we struggle.... schedules!! The boys are very different sleepers. At night we will wake the other baby to feed them both at the same time, but during the day I can't bring myself to wake a sleeping baby. I just don't feel right making one baby overtired because his brother is having a bad sleep day. I know the solution is to wake the sleeping baby, but I can't do it. I have a feeling this will sort itself out when they're on a nap schedule in a few months. They are on a feeding schedule, however, and that has helped keep our sanity.

*Movement - I felt movement very early as well. Before 12 weeks. I thought I was crazy for awhile. It wasn't all the time at first, like you describe.

*Help - YES, YES!! You will need a ton of help. I don't know what your situation will be after they're born (older one in daycare, DH home, etc) but the first two months I had the twins by myself while Oliver was still in daycare. That was a breeze! They were still sleeping most of the time and I could handle them both no problem. Once we moved they "woke up" and Oliver was out of daycare. That's when the chaos started. The last two months would have been impossible if my DH weren't also home or if I didn't have other help. There are literally times that all three kids are hysterically crying at the same time. I didn't cry much the first two months, but these last few months I have shed more than my fair share of tears. You and I have the worst possible set up, I think, with one older kid and two infants. If it was the other way around the twins could entertain each other while you tend to the baby, but this way you're dealing with an older kid who gets jealous and is used to having all of the attention while you tend to TWO babies!! I won't lie, there are days that I ask myself how I got to this place. BUT!! I know in a few months it will all be so much fun!!

*Working - I started having contractions three months before my due date and was put on modified bed rest (26 weeks I think). I'm convinced I got as far as I did because of it (33 weeks). The week I went into labor I had not stayed in bed. We had just listed our house for sale and had 8 showings in 2 days, so I was up and about A LOT. I don't think that's a coincidence.

*Belly Size - I was huge early. As in, people assumed I was pregnant before we even came out and told anyone

Okay, I think that's it!! I really do love having twins, but it is HARD. You know how before you have your first baby everyone tells you how hard it's going to be but you don't really understand until you're actually caring for a newborn (a high needs one at that)? Well this is the same only much harder. I knew mentally it was going to be a struggle, but I still wasn't prepared. Oliver was high needs so I was really hoping these two would be more chill. Well it turns out Oliver was just a warm up for Elliot. Now that kid is SUPER high needs. Which leads me to empathy.... My empathy tank is totally drained. Anytime I hear/read about someone complaining about how their ONE baby needs to be held all the time, has trouble sleeping, etc... I can't muster up any sympathy. Which I know isn't normal and only a reaction to my current situation. So I just try to avoid those conversations for now and hope that my sympathy meter goes back to normal at some point!!

And since I have no time to participate in the NB thread anymore, I'll put pictures here.... That's the other hard part! Getting good pictures of two kids at once

ETA - Boo, those lost a lot of quality with resizing!

 

[Kunzite]

Oh, and I wanted to add... Enjoy all of the time you have with your older son now! Somedays the hardest part for me isn't all of the crying, it's the lack of quality time I get to spend with my toddler. I don't regret having the kids close because I know it's going to be great in the long run, but right now it's hard. I enjoy my older son SO MUCH that I get a little resentful that the babies take so much time away from him.

 

[Puppmom]

Threadjack for two reasons:

First, Kunzite - the boys are ADORABLE. I can't believe how different they seem to look from each other now. I hope your move wasn't terrible and the you're settling into your new life.

Second, I'm not having twins obviously but sometimes it brings me to tears when I think about my lack of one on one time with DS once this baby is born. When I had DS, DD was already 16 so it wasn't the same. It seriously make me so sad!

 

[Kunzite]

Threadjack for two reasons:

First, Kunzite - the boys are ADORABLE. I can't believe how different they seem to look from each other now. I hope your move wasn't terrible and the you're settling into your new life.

Second, I'm not having twins obviously but sometimes it brings me to tears when I think about my lack of one on one time with DS once this baby is born. When I had DS, DD was already 16 so it wasn't the same. It seriously make me so sad!

Awww, pupp, you'll be fine! With two adults (well really three!) you'll have enough people that N will still get lots of undivided attention. DH and I will trade off taking care of both babies at once so the other one can spend quality time with O still. It's hard and stressful, but we still manage to get it done. My problem is mostly that I'm not a baby person (I know, the horror!) so I'd much rather spend 24/7 with O! I just love being around him THAT much!!

 

[Skippy123]

awww Kunzite they are stinkin adorable!!! I promise it gets easier. My cousin had a daughter that was 3 when she had her twins and she said it was so tough. Yes, I never woke the other during the day and during the night, I did wake the other because that would mean I would never sleep since they woke to eat. I guess I was unlucky because mine didn't sttn till they were 9 mos but I read somewhere on baby center that the majority (70%) don't sttn till 9 months. My hubby and I really worked hard as a team; I wish we had help besides the 2 months (I would of loved a night nurse) but I am kind of cheapo and it finally got better but my hubby was super generous with his time to help. He fed at 6 pm 9pm and 12 pm and I feed them at 2 or 3 am 6 am and the rest of the day. I hope things get easier! I do agree, that the early days they did sleep lots but out of sync. I don't think they synced up till about 5 or 6 months. Also things got better at 5 or 6 months. awww I wish I was there to help you. I promise it does get easier once they were STTN, the fog lifted then. I am glad your hubby is home to help out!!! My hubby only took 3 weeks off but I wished every single day for so long that he could take half the year off. lol Yay for another twin momma next door; in the early days it was great to have a fellow twin momma to chat about STTN, colic etc. anyway, keep at the schedule and some days they will get it and others they won't. huge hugs; look at those beautiful boys! You are doing good momma!!!

Pave, I didn't start feeling movement for sure till I was 18 weeks. I hear if you have been preggo before you know how it feels so you feel it earlier. I definitely started showing soon! I think I was 10 weeks and at 12 weeks I needed preggo jeans, not just unbutton ones. Oh and once I started feeling them move they really went to town. I remember hugging my husband at 28 weeks or something like that and one kicked my husband hard. My husband was in shock! lol They were super active at 3 am too! It was interesting to see which times of day they were active. please post about your journey; I would love to follow you and the twins!!! yes, the book that Kunzite talks about is the one I gave the link for too!!! lots of twin mommas recommended it too on Baby Center.

 

[alene]

I didn't feel any movement until 17 weeks and then for the first couple of weeks it was only about once a week. My mother thought I was crazy to feel anything that early so I didn't even know it was possible at 12 weeks! Definitely wouldn't worry about it being infrequent in the near future.

Kunzite - your little guys are too cute!

 

[jas]

Bloat -- yup.
Erratic movement -- yup. Didn't feel 'em until about 18 weeks, and then not regularly until, oh, 24 weeks. Mine were on top of one another, so I almost never felt the bottom twin.
Post-delivery weight loss -- 7 months I think. Maybe 8. Maybe I am still losing from them 4 years later.

Hang in there...

 

[pavelover]

Wow Kunzite thanks so much for the extensive answers. I"m pretty sure that was no small feat so I appreciate it! I am Di/di and I think I am ok although I chose a high-risk doctor because I thought I should. I am always happy for extra monitoring but i don't want to be treated like there is something wrong with me, kwim? This high risk doc wants me on vaginal progesterone the whole time . It's not that I can't handle taking a med for my babes but if it's not needed I don't really want it. I love that they changed the name of the twins group for your dh. So cool! And he is, too. It's a hard role to be the stay at home parent and I respect guys that do it because I'm sure it's not easy to make that choice. Thanks for the tips on the GD. That makes me feel better. That reminds me I need to get those fasting labs drawn...HOw could I have forgotten to say how adorable your boys are?????? Even though I have di/di I'm still hoping they are identical (I know its a small chance but still ). Wait, I just looked again. In monkey suit they look the same but the other I'm not sure- are they identical? Regarding spending time with my older son- I'm sure it will be hard. I haven't said because you guys might think I'm a princess so no judgements, please- where we live (s.e. asia) it's common to have house helpers so I do- probably the best amount of help one could have for future twins, and yet I"m still petrified, lol. sigh. ah well. It could be worse for sure. Now if they could just come out really chill...

Puppmom Hugs! I'm sorry you are feeling sad- maybe you can try what Kunzite said. I always have read about spending one on one time with all the kids (perhaps easier said than done) but I hope to be able to accomplish this at some point. I'm worried about my son feeling jealous and pushed aside- I'm hoping that we can not make any major changes around when the babies come so he doesn't blame them. That's why I have to get him out of our bed asap, lol.

Skippy yeah reading all the experiences about movement is definitely making me feel better. Haven't felt anything for a week but it seems that's pretty normal. I wish I had an u/s in my bedroom though . I'll keep posting and thanks for your help .

Hi Alenelike I said above your experiences on movement have really made me feel better! Thought of a question- just because I want to torture myself, lol. j/k I Just like to have a realistic idea of what to expect. When did you start getting un-interrupted sleep?? Surely since they are 4 you are all sleepin well???

Jas the bloat is just incredible. Was getting ready to go out on Sat nite and it looked like I had at least 1 maybe 2 big macs under my shirt (non-maternity). I finally found something a little more flattering. I hadn't really told everyone yet and didn't really want to "announce" like that, lol. It definitely looks like I have not been making it to the gym, lol. especially by the end of the night.

QuestionsDid you all try to breastfeed? Was it successful? Did you have enough support? Like that pillow they sell for twins? I'm hopeful I can do it but need to be open to whatever comes . Plus I'm not gonna be upset if they will take a bottle at least once in the middle of the night!!!
What kind of stroller did you use? I bought one yesterday!!!! A bit early I'm sure. But they have this surplus sort of store here and my friend gave me a heads up that there was a phil and teds dash double there- it seems like it was a floor sample or maybe returned item? The wheels look brand new and its in really good shape. I think I paid about 1/2 price or so? It's so cute. I am a stroller junkie. So my idea is to use my uppa baby vista bassinett (from my first ) for when they are small and then move them to the double later. Since my son will be 4 plus I don't think I need a stroller for him every day. I also was hoping I could get away at times with a single and wear one baby. We will see. What did you guys do?
One crib or two? Did I already ask this? If I did, sorry. How long did they sleep together? Is it considered safe?
Did you feel cramping on and off? Last week I had a thing with a small amount of brown discharge and a little cramping so the dr gave me progesterone tablets. they are finished now and I feel so nervous when I have cramping. It's not severe and Dr. google says its normal but still I worry.
Caffeine- I read on here somewhere a thread where there was a debate about caffeine. I don't want to debate but if you feel comfortable sharing, did you drink it? How much? what did your dr. say?
I'm going to take a trip back to the U.S. in a couple of weeks. I will visit family/friends and I'm going to work. Am I crazy? My job will be on my feet so I'm a bit worried but I will only be scheduled two days a week. I really miss my job and won't be able to work again for a while after the babies so I figured it would be good to refresh my skills and then push out when I work again until later. I will be between 14-18 weeks. I haven't talked to my doctors here yet because they are so conservative I feel like they will say no. My u.s. doctor won't give me an opinion because she hasn't "seen" me. I understand her position but I mean the reality is most/many preggo moms have to work so I think a little 4 week stint should be ok.
How understanding were your partners about your pregnancy? It's hard to convey the depth of my fatigue (before- its better now) to my spouse. Don't get me wrong he's a good guy but he doesn't seem to get it that this is an extra strain on my body/energy/emotions lol.
Ok thanks in advance!

 

[alene]

Hi Alenelike I said above your experiences on movement have really made me feel better! Thought of a question- just because I want to torture myself, lol. j/k I Just like to have a realistic idea of what to expect. When did you start getting un-interrupted sleep?? Surely since they are 4 you are all sleepin well???

[

This is kind of a raw subject in our household right now but no, uninterrupted sleep is a rare thing at the moment The best sleep we had was between 6 months and 2 years. Then they started climbing out of the cribs and that was it. At about 2.5 we had to sleep-train all over again, then again and again every few months. Still, as soon as they get sick (and now in preschool they are sick all the time!), all the the sleep goes out the window; they're coughing, they're congested and they don't sleep and neither do they. Once they get better, they're back in the habit of getting up in the middle of the night and we're (well I am because my husband would rather just sleep on the floor in their room) back to staying up for hours and putting them in bed over and over. I got two nights of uninterrupted sleep in the past two weeks... Sorry, I'm making it sound awful, I think it may just be payback for all the sleep we got when they were little when we really thought we hit the sleep jackpot.

As far as the stroller and crib. We had a double similar to the double Bugaboo (First Wheels I think it was called). It was really crappy and fell apart in less than a year, so I wouldn't recommend it. We then replaced it with a City Mini Double Jogger and it was great but still a pain getting through door ways. If I were getting one now, I'd definitely get one that's not side by side. City Select seems really popular around here but I think there are others that are similar. For the crib, we had them in the same one for the first 3 months but moved them apart as soon as they started moving around and kicking each other. They got so used to sleeping across the bed, the continued to do so for months... Sorry have to run now to deal with a screaming child who I think is coming down with an ear infection but I'll come back later.

 

[jas]

QuestionsDid you all try to breastfeed? Was it successful? Did you have enough support? Like that pillow they sell for twins? I'm hopeful I can do it but need to be open to whatever comes . Plus I'm not gonna be upset if they will take a bottle at least once in the middle of the night!!!
What kind of stroller did you use? I bought one yesterday!!!! A bit early I'm sure. But they have this surplus sort of store here and my friend gave me a heads up that there was a phil and teds dash double there- it seems like it was a floor sample or maybe returned item? The wheels look brand new and its in really good shape. I think I paid about 1/2 price or so? It's so cute. I am a stroller junkie. So my idea is to use my uppa baby vista bassinett (from my first ) for when they are small and then move them to the double later. Since my son will be 4 plus I don't think I need a stroller for him every day. I also was hoping I could get away at times with a single and wear one baby. We will see. What did you guys do?
One crib or two? Did I already ask this? If I did, sorry. How long did they sleep together? Is it considered safe?
Did you feel cramping on and off? Last week I had a thing with a small amount of brown discharge and a little cramping so the dr gave me progesterone tablets. they are finished now and I feel so nervous when I have cramping. It's not severe and Dr. google says its normal but still I worry.
Caffeine- I read on here somewhere a thread where there was a debate about caffeine. I don't want to debate but if you feel comfortable sharing, did you drink it? How much? what did your dr. say?
I'm going to take a trip back to the U.S. in a couple of weeks. I will visit family/friends and I'm going to work. Am I crazy? My job will be on my feet so I'm a bit worried but I will only be scheduled two days a week. I really miss my job and won't be able to work again for a while after the babies so I figured it would be good to refresh my skills and then push out when I work again until later. I will be between 14-18 weeks. I haven't talked to my doctors here yet because they are so conservative I feel like they will say no. My u.s. doctor won't give me an opinion because she hasn't "seen" me. I understand her position but I mean the reality is most/many preggo moms have to work so I think a little 4 week stint should be ok.
How understanding were your partners about your pregnancy? It's hard to convey the depth of my fatigue (before- its better now) to my spouse. Don't get me wrong he's a good guy but he doesn't seem to get it that this is an extra strain on my body/energy/emotions lol.
Ok thanks in advance!

I did breastfeed for a few months. Then I pumped. I am not one who has a lot of supply, so we supplemented from day one. I did use the boppy, but fortunately, at least for bf, my kids didn't nurse at the same time a lot. But it's actually not hard. It was a moment (or 60) to sit down and just focus on the babies.

I wish I could remember which stroller I got. I'm like the worst mother ever...I don't remember brand names of most stuff. I did try carrying one and doing something else with the other (meaning having him in a stroller, or sleeping, or with DH), but to be honest, the baby carriers just killed my back, which was kinda wrecked from the pregnancy. I would keep it as a backup, but for me, it wasn't a viable regular option. However, that was my experience. You may be made of stronger stuff than my sad back.

We did one crib for the first month or two. Then we separated them. I think it's safe...they didn't smoosh each other or anything...but one of mine sure liked to stretch out while sleeping and began crowding the other a bit. I think it comforted them a bit at first. They spent 9 months in mah belly together...so we put them together a lot at first until the world started making more sense.

I cramped. Don't discount how much gas you'll be dealing with when pregnant with twins. Just tell yourself it's SEXY gas! SEXY! (Then fart and blame your husband.)

My doctor was fine with 1-2 cups of coffee. I probably had 1/day, and if I wanted more, I had decaf (which has small amounts of caffeine in it.) I fell in love with a lot of decaf teas, though...and hot chocolate (also trace caffeine) is mighty nice....

As far as work, you know to listen to your body. If you can do it, do it. If not, and you don't have to, then don't. I was too pooped to do anything most of the time. But I was old and apparently being held together with caffeine and hot chocolate and maternity pants.

I am not sure DH could understand my fatigue. My body just wanted to sleep. Not just lie down...SLEEP. So I wasn't much good after 7 pm most nights. When I got bigger and, ironically, was more awake-but-physically drained, he got it more. Because he could see evidence. I was toting around 60 pounds of his progeny.

How are you feeling today?

 

[Skippy123]

Caffeine- I read on here somewhere a thread where there was a debate about caffeine. I don't want to debate but if you feel comfortable sharing, did you drink it? How much? what did your dr. say?
I'm going to take a trip back to the U.S. in a couple of weeks. I will visit family/friends and I'm going to work. Am I crazy? My job will be on my feet so I'm a bit worried but I will only be scheduled two days a week. I really miss my job and won't be able to work again for a while after the babies so I figured it would be good to refresh my skills and then push out when I work again until later. I will be between 14-18 weeks. I haven't talked to my doctors here yet because they are so conservative I feel like they will say no. My u.s. doctor won't give me an opinion because she hasn't "seen" me. I understand her position but I mean the reality is most/many preggo moms have to work so I think a little 4 week stint should be ok.
How understanding were your partners about your pregnancy? It's hard to convey the depth of my fatigue (before- its better now) to my spouse. Don't get me wrong he's a good guy but he doesn't seem to get it that this is an extra strain on my body/energy/emotions lol.
Ok thanks in advance!

I drank zero caffeine and ate zero caffeine until I hit the 2nd trimester, it was my own personal fear so do what you are comfortable with.

talk to your doctor on the travel. I would think you would be fine at 14 or 18 weeks to travel but the only thing is you start to swell (if you don't get lots of fluids) so make sure to really stay hydrated. flying dehydrates you and people don't even think they are dehydrated and then it isn't good for the babies since it brings on contractions but do drink lots and lots of water if you do fly. I would check with your doc though.

Mine wasn't as understanding till he went to a birthing class with me. I was a big complainer during pregnancy. Finally when the Perinates sat down with me and told me "you have 2x's the hormones normal preggos have" then I felt better! I just needed a sympathetic ear. Anyway when my husband saw the pictures of the twins really taking over my body is when he understood, plus I am short so it makes it hard for the babies to have room. I had a twin momma friend who was tall and she felt she had lots more room in her torso so who knows though?

I think I missed your comment about the bfing. I would make sure to get an LC to help you along. If you have NICU babies make sure you have the support of the nurses and the LC. I pumped and I had a hospital grade pump for pumping. I didn't produce a lot of milk and my sons never got the hang of it so they got breast milk for approx 3 months and then we just did formula since they never got the hang of it and one was in the hospital while the other was home so that is how it went for us. I did use mother's milk tea to help me try to produce more milk, but don't kill yourself pumping like I did. The 10 -12 times a day pumping started to really wear on me; 6-8 is more humane (I wish the LC's said that to me). Lots of twin moms bf and some don't. You will do great!!

 

[Skippy123]

QuestionsDid you all try to breastfeed? Was it successful? Did you have enough support? Like that pillow they sell for twins? I'm hopeful I can do it but need to be open to whatever comes . Plus I'm not gonna be upset if they will take a bottle at least once in the middle of the night!!!
What kind of stroller did you use? I bought one yesterday!!!! A bit early I'm sure. But they have this surplus sort of store here and my friend gave me a heads up that there was a phil and teds dash double there- it seems like it was a floor sample or maybe returned item? The wheels look brand new and its in really good shape. I think I paid about 1/2 price or so? It's so cute. I am a stroller junkie. So my idea is to use my uppa baby vista bassinett (from my first ) for when they are small and then move them to the double later. Since my son will be 4 plus I don't think I need a stroller for him every day. I also was hoping I could get away at times with a single and wear one baby. We will see. What did you guys do?
One crib or two? Did I already ask this? If I did, sorry. How long did they sleep together? Is it considered safe?
Did you feel cramping on and off? Last week I had a thing with a small amount of brown discharge and a little cramping so the dr gave me progesterone tablets. they are finished now and I feel so nervous when I have cramping. It's not severe and Dr. google

you have a healthy outlook on bfing! you will do great!

Okay in the early days we used a snap n go double that lets you put the carseats in snap n go. I now use the BOB Revolution double, I love it but I know lots of twin moms have that, the City Mini Double, Indy Double or the McClaren (sp?) double. The McClaren is narrower than the others. I would look at babygizmo.com and watch the videos and see which stroller best meets your needs. I have a minivan so the BOB fits in the minivan wonderfully but it won't fit in my SAAB. I would look at strollers and test them out; the gizmo lady talks about height etc so great info. Oh the Phil and Ted is probably great!!! Here is a video on Phil and Ted Dot http://www.babygizmo.com/news/philandtedsdot.php

2 cribs. I think you can do 1 at first but 2 is what we have and they are still in their cribs. My boys a year and 5 months right now though.

I had cramping around 12-14 in the very low section of my pelvis but I think my pelvis was stretching?? it is good you are talking to your doctor; when in doubt I was always calling the doctor. they were great at calling back.

how are you feeling now? hugs lady!

 

[Kunzite]

Pave, they're fraternal. I was sort of hoping for ID too, but I think this will be best for my 2yo since it will be like having two different brothers if that makes sense.

I thought of you today and am very happy to hear that you'll have help. As I was trying to get M to take a nap O was in the room "whispering" everything he could think of! Baby nigh night! A rug! A light! Outlet! Nigh NIGHT baby!! Then he would mock me by running around going, SSSSHHHH!! Luckily M is my good sleeper

Come back in a few weeks and let us know what you're having!

 

[pavelover]

Hi Everyone!
Been mia for a bit. Made a long trip back to the U.S. for vacation and some testing, plus I was trying to finish a class and dealing with jet lag, etc. Now I'm in a good place where I have some time to post again. Have a few more questions for twin or multiple mommas.

Recently I have been feeling so uncomfortable in the nether regions (lol). It feels like my pelvic bones are splitting already . I'm 20 weeks. Anyone remember feeling this way so early? Also feeling pressure at times (but haven't had that in a while). Lastly, I ended up in an ER while on vacation because I was having cramps for a good part of the day. No cervical changes and the babies looked ok but it was a wake up call. I think I got way behind on my fluids and was on my feet too much.

Good news! Had my fetal echo yesterday and they were happy with everything. This was a huge relief and I guess I didn't realize how concerned I was deep down inside (my first son has a heart defect so increased risk in future pregnancies, although not that much higher).

Kunzite My plans changed a bit, when I returned to the U.S. for vacation I realized that I really preferred to stay in the U.S. and deliver here. It was a hard decision but I think its the right one. that means no helpers like before, so it may be a bit tougher by the end of pregnancy. My mom will come out though when I need her, and I have some people nearby to help me.
I'm pretty sure I'm not going to find out the sex! I want to be surprised. How are you guys???

Skippy Hi! Hope you are well. thanks for answering all my questions from before. I ran into a girl I know who is going to sell me a snap and go here in the U.S. I think I'll use that for a while. Have my other stuff back at home. How are the babies? What's new with you guys?

Jas Hi Jas, not sure if I ever thanked you for your input before. Hope you are good with your little ones.

Alene Hi Alene! just wanted to say hi and hope you and your kiddos are good too. My son will be four in Dec and jeez he is busy so I can only imagine x2! Do your kids go to preschool yet?

Well that's it for now. Have a regular anatomy scan on Tuesday. Will be nice to find out everything is good and move on thru the pregnancy! Hope everyone has a nice weekend.

 

[mama_monkey]

Hi Pave,
I read your post long ago and wanted to reply but could not, for various time reasons -- but we are kind of parallels of each other! I had fraternal twin boys (IVF, 3rd try with 2nd IVF resulting in a miscarriage at week at the age of 37, and then a surprise baby girl singleton at age 40. So, my boys just turned 4 and my girl is like 8 months old. I, too, read the multiples book as it was recommended by a doctor friend who also had IVF twins, and gained a ton of weight -- I am 5'3" and Asian. I think pre=preggo I was 105 or 110 lbs and I went up to 180! My feet were super bloated at the end and I was semi house-bound, just b/c of my sheer weight. It was really hard to get around! I did NOT have a specialist doc, tho I did want one -- they said twins were run of the mill now! anyways, it was fine.

I ended up carrying them full term, 38 weeks, and had a scheduled C section bc the presenting baby was breech. They scheduled b/c it was 38 weeks, I was huge, and most of all b/c it was right before Thanksgiving, so my doc wanted to make sure she was the one that did the delivery! I was so uncomfortable that I readily agreed, and she really did a fantastic C-section (all the post-op nurses that saw my cut were amazed at how great it looked). And my boys were 5 lbs 10 oz and 6 lbs 6 ozs, so pretty big. Still, with my singleton girl I was full term at 39 weeks and she only weighed 6 lbs 9 ozs, so not much different from the twins -- but she just looked a lot more "cooked." In retrospect it did seem that my twins were wrinkly and a little hairy still, as if they shouldda been in the oven a wee bit longer. And truly, the boys were floppier and had less muscle control than my girl. My girl latched easily whereas my boys had such week sucks. . . anyways, I wonder sometimes if I should have insisted on keeping them in for as long as possible, rather than at 38 weeks I know not everyone has a choice, but thought it worth mentioning.

scare I did have spot bleeding at week 11 or 12, but it was nothing. I had placenta previa, but that resolved itself naturally. I was going to an acupuncturist, who treated me then advised me to be as still as possible. At around week 30 I did have contractions that sent me to the ER where they admitted me into L and D for observation for 2 nights. I was injected with steroids, just in case I had to give birth, but thankfully i was discharged and all was ok.

Like Alene, I was determined to breastfeed and my guys had difficulty latching, so I breastfed both (after sometimes 40 minutes of trying to get them to latch), then fed them formula, then pumped, every 3 hours for 3 months -- whcih means i literally only got 20-40 minutes of sleep every 3 hours. Crazy. Had I been more flexible and just fed the boys formula, I wouldhave been much saner. Still, it was my first pregnancy, and I think you will have an easier time overall b/c you're a veteran mom.

help: that is AWESOME that you can get paid help, which I think is better, in some ways, than family help b/c you'll feel less indebted and have more control (or feel less bad when your grouchy sleep-deprived self yells at them! lol). I am so embarrassed at how mean I was to my parents and my husbands parents and my sister -- all of whom graciously came out to help.

With this pregnancy I was told to get help for the newborns so you can spend as much time with your 1st child/ren as possible.

oy. must run for now. I wanted to share my experience w twin clubs and sleep schedules but will have to wait for another day!