Over the years how have you changed...mentally and/or physically?

[missy]

Just thinking about this as we live life how much do we change? I suspect this answer will vary greatly among individuals of course.

Physically is easy to answer for me. I lost weight in my face (unintentionally-happens as some of us age) and my once chubby face which I was not a fan of is now thin and I long for my chubby face of yesterday lol. Who knew I'd miss it so. My body has remained pretty much the same so I guess in that one way I am fortunate. But I do work hard to keep in shape not just for my physical appearance but more for my mental health and wellness and to stay as healthy as possible as I get older. Working out and eating right is a priority for me. I make it my priority every single day. It's not always easy but it is worth it. To me.

Mentally how have I changed. I have become much tougher mentally. More resilient. Unwilling to take people's BS. Once you show me who you are now I listen. And move on from toxic relationships or even non toxic ones if that person cannot support who I am. I am not willing to change for anyone. I like who I am and if you don't that's your problem. I was never a people pleaser but I guess even less so now.

But in other ways I have become less resilient. I cannot bear to see animals suffering and I cannot even tolerate animal commercials where something sad is happening. I think I have gotten less able to tolerate this than when I was younger. I cannot tolerate the news anymore. It's too much. Too overwhelming. Too heartbreaking. So in these ways I guess I am less resilient.

I am more willing to walk away than argue now. It's not worth it to me. I more fiercely protect peace of mind these days. And I feel good about that. I always preferred animals to people but I can truthfully say I feel even more strongly about that now than ever before. And that is saying something.

I do not surround myself with many friends because I am only interested in true friendships. People who are real and who are there for me as I am them. Through tough times not just easy times. The true test of a friendship is are you there for me when the going gets rough as I am for you? It takes two to tango so to speak. And I take that to heart. If you are not willing to put in the time and energy neither am I. Doesn't make anyone a bad person just not the right person for me. And I am fine with that. I do not tolerate small talk and fake friendships. Never have but less so even now.

For the most part I am happy with who I am though aging is not for sissies it sure beats the alternative. LOL as my dad always says "no one gets out of this life alive" TRUTH

Chubby face





35 years later...no longer a chubby face





Please share how you have changed through the decades. Are you happy with the changes? Do you miss your former self or are you embracing the changes? For me the overriding emotion is gratitude for making it this far. I feel every day is a gift. Truly. I have seen much sadness and tragedy and take nothing for granted. Nothing,

Thanks for sharing if you feel like it.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

So many things, I think it’s impossible to remain the same over the decades with all that life throws at the average person.

Physically I am fatter, my 20’s I was still in a normal weight range, 30’s I had gained weight from my first pregnancy but lost 70lbs on my own. By 35 I had our second son and never lost the weight, so now approaching 45 it’s apparent I will have to do something soon. I don’t really care about my weight aesthetically but it’s only a matter of time before the health effects catch up with me.

I am much happier now than 20 years ago, hell even 10 years ago, I spent a lot of years dealing with depression and anxiety. Some of that was because I was going along with things, keeping up appearances, and doing what was expected, despite that it was killing my soul. So now I don’t really give my time to many people, my husband and kids and few other people. it’s not about holding grudges, but I remember how people have made me feel in the past and I just don’t need that in my present life.

Along with people, I need less things. I think for a lot of my life I found comfort in owning stuff, not to a hoarder degree, but I certainly enjoyed surrounding myself with beautiful things. Now I find myself getting rid of a lot of those things, just don’t need them anymore and the additional space gained in purging is now so very comforting.

I am happier now and wouldn’t want to go back to my old self. She was internally angry, constantly seeking validation and just not a nice person (thanks unresolved childhood trauma). It was exhausting being that person, no doubt for me and everyone around me.

Missy, this is a great topic, I hope that many will contribute, there can be much learned from other’s experiences.

 

[Slickk]

I have changed mentally. I no longer truly care what people think of me. I say what I mean and mean what I say and too bad so sad if someone doesn’t like it. I call it my ‘old lady-no filter’ stage of life. I am very disheartened by the world today, therefore, I am definitely more of a pessimist now. I have less patience for people lately and like you @missy I believe them when they show me who they really are. On the daily.
Physically…sheesh, yes I’ve changed. But I work hard at eating well and staying active. They say, ‘Motion is lotion’ and I live by that.

 

[stracci2000]

Now that I'm approaching 60, I can't remember things like I used to.
Or maybe there are too many things to remember in this modern world.
Passwords are the bane of my existence. I'm getting really sick of technology ruling my life, that's for sure.
If I didn't write everything down and take notes, I'd be lost.

Also, I can't live without my reader glasses, and that sucks, too.

I do weigh the same as I did 30 years ago, but everything is headed south, and it's just so weird.

 

[Austina]

Certainly changed physically, I’m heavier now than I’ve ever been.

Mentally, I just can’t be dealing with drama, life’s too short. I don‘t have people in life anymore who have shown their true colours.

I definitely think more about the future, and how the majority of my life is now behind me, and I do worry about what I’ll do when my DH is no longer around.

It’s really true that time flies by in the blink of an eye.

 

[missy]

I definitely think more about the future, and how the majority of my life is now behind me, and I do worry about what I’ll do when my DH is no longer around.

It’s really true that time flies by in the blink of an eye.

This is so true. I worry about my parents. How is my mom going to survive when my dad is gone. Or vice versa. I also think about when our time is up. Inevitably one of us will go first. I pray it’s me. I don’t see wanting to continue without my soulmate by my side.

Time really does fly by in the blink of an eye. Faster than anyone who’s young could ever truly imagine. I know when I was young I could never imagine how fast. Despite my parents and grandparents telling me. You have to live it to believe it.

To all who are young and reading this please cherish every moment. Be grateful for all the good in your life and try living in the moment. Savor it all. It all goes by too fast.

Tempus fugit.

 

[Austina]

This is so true. I worry about my parents. How is my mom going to survive when my dad is gone. Or vice versa. I also think about when our time is up. Inevitably one of us will go first. I pray it’s me. I don’t see wanting to continue without my soulmate by my side.

^ Exactly this @missy. I have spent my entire adult life in this relationship, there will never be anyone else for me, I wouldn’t want there to be, and the thought of a life on my own, holds absolutely no appeal at all.

 

[dk168]

I have gained weight especially around the waist (I am an apple in shape), and my b00bs have gone south!

The formal evening wear that were made for me about 10 years ago no longer fit me.

So I have new ones made instead, as life is too short to diet and to exercise!

I am steady now weight-wise, and could do with losing some weight for the benefit of my knees.

Mentally, I used to dislike wishing anything bad on people, no matter how much I dislike them. I used to believe what goes round comes around, and also believe in karma.

However, I have grown to be less tolerant of those who are entitled, and those who would wave the whatever card that suits them when they are shone in less favourable lights.

Having been largely on my own since 2008 with just a cat and dog for company, I have grown to be very set in my own ways and am happy to be on my own.

I have not bothered to look for a special someone since about 2017 when I had 3 potential romance scams in quick succession. Although no money was involved, I was badly bruised mentally by the first incident. By the third time, I was able to spot a pattern and ended the chat before he even had the chance to ask for money. After that, I decided life was too short to waste time on seeking romance.

And I don't miss it as I am too busy enjoying work, learning the clarinet, going out and about in my van with the dog, go out and about on my own for food and drink and entertainment, and being involved in service charities and voluntary work.

Mentally, I am strong and am at ease with myself and what I have achieved. I am happy and content with my lot. I am where I am based on my own decisions, and if I have the chance to re-live my life, I would probably make the same decisions again.

Life is good.

DK

 

[Lookinagain]

Well, I now weigh just about what I did 35 years ago.... but I was pregnant 35 years ago
However, I was really small then so I'm at the point that I should probably loose 6 or 7 pounds, just to get into most of my jeans.

Seriously though, I think I changed the most from 20 to 30, then a bit less from 30-40, etc. Now, in my late 60's, I don't think I've changed much since my mid- 50's. I've always been honest and direct, and probably suffered because of that in my work life at times (depending on my boss---some liked it, some didn't). But as I aged, I continued to be honest and direct, but also learned to temper it, or adjust it, depending on the audience. I still speak my mind, and my truth, but I've learned to adapt it so that the person I'm speaking to will listen before they get their back up.

Also, I've learned over the years not to sweat the small stuff, to pick my battles, and to be content, and if I'm not, then find a way to get there.

 

[Lookinagain]

And I don't miss it as I am too busy enjoying work, learning the clarinet, going out and about in my van with the dog, go out and about on my own for food and drink and entertainment, and being involved in service charities and voluntary work.

Sounds good. To like being alone is a skill that many can't develop. I'm there too and happy that way but am kind of tired of people asking me if I want to meet someone and get married (again!). No.

 

[Ibrakeforpossums]

I'm 67, widowed and thinner than I've ever been, thank you, anxiety. But probably happier, I don't hate myself anymore for not having the gifts and talents I was't born with. (Those of you with beauty and brains, did you earn this? It's a lottery.)
Now I like the low color diamonds I bought 5 years ago, when I couldn't afford anything else. I like feeding the slightly crippled wild cat that lives in my corn crib. And I like myself when i'm patient and kind with someone on the phone who doesn't deserve it.
No one would envy me but I'm more content now than ever in my life.

 

[yssie]

I'm 67, widowed and thinner than I've ever been, thank you, anxiety. But probably happier, I don't hate myself anymore for not having the gifts and talents I was't born with. (Those of you with beauty and brains, did you earn this? It's a lottery.)
Now I like the low color diamonds I bought 5 years ago, when I couldn't afford anything else. I like feeding the slightly crippled wild cat that lives in my corn crib. And I like myself when i'm patient and kind with someone on the phone who doesn't deserve it.
No one would envy me but I'm more content now than ever in my life.

You sound like a beautiful person and I’m glad that we get to know you, at least a little bit, though this forum

 

[Bron357]

When I was young I was super fit and very very conscious of how I looked and worried about it a fair bit. I did Triathlons for a while but hated the swimming and the Kms running on hard surfaces wasn’t doing my knees any good and then some jerk in a car opened his car door as I rode past on my bike - nasty, lots of scrapes thankfully nothing broken. So I then just did gym. Obsessed.
Then I got older when through early menopause and had thyroid failure and well and truly “lost my figure” when I then smashed up my foot and spent 3 months off my foot and another 6 months barely walking.
And I discovered I no longer cared about what other people thought and came to terms with being larger in size and enjoyed having vivid purple hair and still do.
I’m currently just doing walking and at home type exercises to lose a few kilos but taking my time.

 

[dk168]

Sounds good. To like being alone is a skill that many can't develop. I'm there too and happy that way but am kind of tired of people asking me if I want to meet someone and get married (again!). No.

I was at a meal yesterday and one of the diners, more an acquaintance than a friend in her mid 30s was asking me about the theatre trips I had already booked, as she would like to join me, including the seats I had booked.

I forewarned her that I usually book the best seats and that did not put her off.

I am in two minds whether to let her tag along or not, as I value my freedom as in to do what I like as and when I like it, and find having to hang out with people and to make polite conversations very tiresome nowadays.

DK

 

[Pomelo]

I came for the diamonds, but I stay for the chat (and also the diamonds ).

In all honesty, the participants in this forum are wonderfully thoughtful and exceedingly generous with their time and wisdom.

It’s hard to find such a group and it’s humbling to learn from those with the wealth of experience.

Whilst I rarely participate in forum topics like these as I prefer to soak up the golden nuggets in responses (and also know that my thirty-plus years means I have much more to see/learn!), thought I’d just say a big thank you to everyone who shares their story and wisdom on PS

 

[Matata]

Physically I still yo yo between out-of-shape and in-shape depending on life stressors. Still working on not letting stress affect my mood to the point I sabotage my health and mental peace.

Mentally I'm tougher and wiser as each year goes by and I'm never satisfied with the status quo, always seeking new things to learn. One of the things I value most about this stage of my life is that I don't tolerate BS and people who are not at peace with themselves (negative people, self destructive people, hateful people, the willfully ignorant, and energy vampires) whereas in the past I endured them for political, business, or familial reasons. Recognizing that I have, at best, 20 years of life left is a great motivator for getting rid of all the garbage that makes life burdensome and for making choices that let in lightness, brightness, and genuineness.

 

[Piper70]

I’ve learned that I am not a nice person but I am very kind. I am an introvert with moderate anxiety and it is stressful and exhausting to engage with strangers or large groups of people. Accepting my limitations while also realizing that I can work around them if needed is being kinder to myself. I have also learned more patience and that things will often work out on their own without me handling everything.
Physically, I need to lose the menopause belly. I planned to buckle down starting on Monday after the Super Bowl ( wings and beer ). But on Sunday, I found out I had a partially detached retina so I’m taking a few days to let the repair heal. Next week!

 

[missy]

@Piper70 sending you many healing wishes for a complete recovery

 

[Piper70]

@Piper70 sending you many healing wishes for a complete recovery

Thanks!! I won’t know until I go back in 2 weeks if it even worked. The laser treatment was really painful so I’m hoping it did. Though they told me if it happens in one eye, it’s likely to happen in the other eye which isn’t great.
And a PSA, if you see flashes or floaters ( more or unusual ), please call your ophthalmologist asap!!

 

[missy]

Thanks!! I won’t know until I go back in 2 weeks if it even worked. The laser treatment was really painful so I’m hoping it did. Though they told me if it happens in one eye, it’s likely to happen in the other eye which isn’t great.
And a PSA, if you see flashes or floaters ( more or unusual ), please call your ophthalmologist asap!!

There is a higher chance it can happen in your unaffected eye but it’s definitely not a given.
Hang in there. Thank goodness you didn’t need a gas or oil bubble. That it was caught early.

 

[jordyonbass]

My weight has fluctuated a lot over the years, I seem to go anywhere from 165lb - 210lb depending on what my lifestyle and job have been like. From around 2017 until about a year ago I was 165lb as my Surveying job had me doing A LOT of walking but not a lot of heavy lifting so while I was lean I was also at my weakest when it comes to physical strength. About a year ago I changed from doing residential and rural farm mapping to more set-out type work where I do a lot less walking but far more heavy lifting and manual labour. This has made my appetite for food go insane and I'm back up to 200lb again.

My face is looking a lot more chubby and round again

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

My hands have changed in size. A lot. My joints are often swollen and sore--sometimes I think I have gout. When I got married my wedding rings were 5.5 now they are size 7.

cheers--Sharon

 

[Ibrakeforpossums]

HI:

My hands have changed in size. A lot. My joints are often swollen and sore--sometimes I think I have gout. When I got married my wedding rings were 5.5 now they are size 7.

cheers--Sharon

That's what you get for hard work and taking care of everybody.
My feet did that, 6.5 to 8.

 

[canuk-gal]

That's what you get for hard work and taking care of everybody.
My feet did that, 6.5 to 8.

What a lovely thing to say! Thank you so much! You also!

 

[oncrutchesrightnow]

I found a haircut that I love.

 

[diamondringlover]

I have learned that you don't actually have to like someone just because you share the same blood.....life it way too short to pretend.....