emeraldlover1
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- May 20, 2006
- Messages
- 2,913
Hi Girls. I wanted to post about this here because I am getting a lot of opinions from family and friends that are close to this situation and its clouding my view of what to do. I''m not going to get detailed about our relationship growing up as it would bring up too many more discussions. I have two sisters and both are younger than me. My youngest sister I''m closest with now but I left home for college when I was 18 and she was still in middle school so I didn''t know her that well. She lives in New York state so i see her more now and I talk to her on the phone quite a bit. Shes moving to NYC soon after she completes her masters so i know that I will see her a lot more in the future. My other sister who is only 2 years younger than me is the type of person that likes to make everything about her. We were not close growing up and have gotten closer over the years but not that close considering I live in NYC and she lives in Michigan. She has decided not to get married but to live with her boyfriend of 5 years with whom she has a 2 year old son. I figured that after she had her son she would have grown up a bit but clearly that has not happened.
Our relationship has always be rocky but things got better when she had her son. She is never really on great terms with my mom. My mom lives about 5 miles from my sister and hardly ever gets to see her grandson. I guess that is besides the point. So, here is my issue. My sister never answers her phone. I''ve talked to her once since August 23rd and that was the day after we got engaged. In that discussion she told me that she should be my maid of honor to which I told her that I hadn''t yet decided what I was going to do about my bridal party. She gets something in her head that she wants and when I don''t tell her yes immediatley throws a fit. Anyway, I decided not to make her my MOH because seriously it would be more problems than its worth. I''ll give an example. When I was graduating college from Syracuse in upstate NY my whole family came to visit. My sister and I got in a heated discussion at the dinner table the night before graduation and she left. Yes, left NY and took a bus back to Michigan. I don''t even remember what that discussion was about.
On to now. I decided to have my best friend be my maid of honor. My youngest sister understands and knows that I would have liked to include her in MOH however my other sister prevents that from happeneing. I''m not going to make my other sister my MOH or even include her in that because of the way that she acts. So, I haven''t talked to her since that inital conversation. I write her a long letter telling her about how much I would like her and her son to be in our bridal party as a bridesmaid and the ring bearer.
Well, I get an EMAIL back 2 weeks after I send that letter (with a nice bracelete that I send to all my bp) listing every excuse that you could possibly think of as to why she probably won''t be able to make it to the wedding. First off...its too much time notice and they don''t have enough money. She doesn''t know if they will have the money next year. The train takes too long and she doesn''t know if she can get off work. This is another story for another time. She works part time from home doing data entry. Oh...there is more, can''t pay for gas and their car won''t make it. Plane tickets are too expensive. There is more but really...haven''t you heard enough. Ok so to end the EMAIL she states that she will tell me 4 months out if she can be in my bridal party.
Rather than respond to all her excuses I just told her (after I tried to call her again) that it would mean a lot to FI and i if she was in the wedding but that I need to know now because we are planning on ordering the BM dresses in a few weeks. I told her if it would make it easier for her we could involve her in another way by doing a reading or something. This was two weeks ago and i still haven''t heard from her.
What do you make of this situation? Should I ask my cousin who I really know wants to be involved to be in my bp? How long do I give my sis to respond? I''m also thinking of having my best friend and my little sister be my MOH''s together now.
Our relationship has always be rocky but things got better when she had her son. She is never really on great terms with my mom. My mom lives about 5 miles from my sister and hardly ever gets to see her grandson. I guess that is besides the point. So, here is my issue. My sister never answers her phone. I''ve talked to her once since August 23rd and that was the day after we got engaged. In that discussion she told me that she should be my maid of honor to which I told her that I hadn''t yet decided what I was going to do about my bridal party. She gets something in her head that she wants and when I don''t tell her yes immediatley throws a fit. Anyway, I decided not to make her my MOH because seriously it would be more problems than its worth. I''ll give an example. When I was graduating college from Syracuse in upstate NY my whole family came to visit. My sister and I got in a heated discussion at the dinner table the night before graduation and she left. Yes, left NY and took a bus back to Michigan. I don''t even remember what that discussion was about.
On to now. I decided to have my best friend be my maid of honor. My youngest sister understands and knows that I would have liked to include her in MOH however my other sister prevents that from happeneing. I''m not going to make my other sister my MOH or even include her in that because of the way that she acts. So, I haven''t talked to her since that inital conversation. I write her a long letter telling her about how much I would like her and her son to be in our bridal party as a bridesmaid and the ring bearer.
Well, I get an EMAIL back 2 weeks after I send that letter (with a nice bracelete that I send to all my bp) listing every excuse that you could possibly think of as to why she probably won''t be able to make it to the wedding. First off...its too much time notice and they don''t have enough money. She doesn''t know if they will have the money next year. The train takes too long and she doesn''t know if she can get off work. This is another story for another time. She works part time from home doing data entry. Oh...there is more, can''t pay for gas and their car won''t make it. Plane tickets are too expensive. There is more but really...haven''t you heard enough. Ok so to end the EMAIL she states that she will tell me 4 months out if she can be in my bridal party.
Rather than respond to all her excuses I just told her (after I tried to call her again) that it would mean a lot to FI and i if she was in the wedding but that I need to know now because we are planning on ordering the BM dresses in a few weeks. I told her if it would make it easier for her we could involve her in another way by doing a reading or something. This was two weeks ago and i still haven''t heard from her.
What do you make of this situation? Should I ask my cousin who I really know wants to be involved to be in my bp? How long do I give my sis to respond? I''m also thinking of having my best friend and my little sister be my MOH''s together now.
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