oops!!!! found ring!!!

[coussen2]

ok, here''s my huge dilema. My boyfriend and I have been living together for a few months now, and have been planning on marriage. The anniversary of our first date is in 3 weeks, and we always do something a little special for it. This year, he has been very secretive about the plans. I was cleaning our apartment this weekend, and found a ring box hidden with our ski equipment that I was packing away. I didn''t open it, but it is now haunting me, I don''t want to ruin the surprise, so I''m not going to look, but I want to have him move it, so I don''t know where it is, that way it won''t be so tempting. How do I tell him, or should I keep it to myself, so as to not make him feel bad. (The latter would take so much willpower!!!) but I think I could do it for a few weeks.

 

[twinkly]

The latter sounds better than telling him you've seen it. Easier said than done but IMO I think you should keep it to yourself that you saw the box. How about pretending to help him clean up his equipment in front of him on day so he realizes that that's not a very safe spot to have it.

twinkly

 

[Lanee]

Twinkly's got a good idea, offer to help or let him know you'll be moving the ski stuff so he knows he has to move it but, don't tell him you've seen the box.

 

[diamondlil]

Oh my . . . don't spoil the surprise. I'm glad you did not open the box--yikes, what if it's earrings. I'm sure he is as axious about the proposal as you are. Keep it to youself and let things play out. Maybe you can fess up on your 20th wedding anniversary. Now that would a hoot!

Diamondlil

 

[Mara]

Oh that's a tough one. It could very well be something like earrings....the boxes look pretty similar..my jeweler uses the same boxes for both rings and earrings, confusing!!

Anyhow- I would say something like 'wow that corner is looking pretty messy, I am going to tidy it up this weekend' or something. At least if he has any inkling you MAY be tinkering around there, he will move it out of the way.

It's tough to not look. But stay strong! You'll be happier in the end with the surprise, and also don't let your imagination run away with you.......because....

True story....my fiance and I had been dating for about 2 years when a week before last year's VDay I was walking through a local outdoor mall after visiting a store.... and was walking by the Tiffany store...when lo and behold I glance inside and who is standing there by one of the counters?!?! My fiance (boyfriend at the time). I had a typical mass chick-freakout and called my best friend on my cell and told her what I saw. She is a psycho Tiffany fan and knows the layout of the store down to the tee, so told me that she thought the area I had seen him in (I was still lurking outside as I spoke to her) was the ring section or at least the diamond section. Can you imagine how adrenalinized (is that a word??) I was for the next week until VDay? Well it turned out to be a necklace, very beautiful, but I was a little disappointed inside as I was more than ready to be engaged to my guy. I don't recall if I told him that I'd seen him, but it was a lesson for me!! Hopefully yours is a ring if that is what you were looking fwd to, but just be a little prepared in case he is moving a little more slowly than you think! Sometimes these guys take their sweet time before making the big plunge!

 

[diamondlil]

What a great story, Mara. Exactly why I suggested the earring thing--be prepared for the unexpected. Had you not caught your boyfriend in the Tiffany store, you would have been more thrilled with your lovely necklace, right?

Coussen2, go with the flow and enjoy the outcome. Don't look in that box!

Diamondlil

 

[coussen2]

I had thought of the earing thing too, but the jewelers name was on the box, and that is the jeweler that we went looking for engagement rings at, he's told me that he has one picked out (but also hasn't bought it yet. Also, for the past 6 months envelopes from this jeweler have been coming to the house, he won't open them in the house (normal for a surprise, I know). There just seem to be a lot of little hints. Like, the restaurant that we are going to for our first date thing is the first restaurant that the two of us went to together. he told me to dress nice, and bought me a new dress for dinner. Then we are staying overnight in Boston.
All of these are hints, but who knows. I'm trying to stay calm. My friends have been keeping me grounded. He is out of town all week, so thank god for them. anyway, thanks for the suggestions. I definitely am not looking in that box!!

 

[mike04456]

I agree with all the advice so far, but I thought I'd add that, once the dust has settled, if in fact it's an engagement ring, you should probably tell him you saw the box (but didn't open it, of course). He may be a little disappointed at first, but it's the sort of story you'll enjoy telling years afterward, as a way of making your engagement "yours."

Another true story to go with Mara's: My wife actually went shopping for wedding dresses and put a deposit on the one she liked a week before I proposed. We had not discussed anything, not gone shopping for rings, nada. She had no clue what I was up to nor any reason to do it except that her best friend (who likewise knew nothing) talked her into it one Saturday afternoon. She told me a couple of weeks into our engagement, and although I was a little put out at the time, we both laugh about it now. So I think you'll enjoy telling this one.

 

[Lanee]

Wow Lawgem, imagine if you hadn't proposed a year later. You might have stumbled onto a wedding dress in the closet before popping the question. How do you think that would have gone over? That is a funny story-I like it.

Tell your wife, it was good decision to buy her dream dress when she found it (assuming her weight doesn't yo-yo). We're not getting married for another 2 1/2 years but last year when my sister started planning her wedding I picked out my dress and this year that I'm actually engaged, I'm still not ready to buy a dress (hoping to lose 10 lbs)but the one I fell in love with is long gone. I even contacted the designer last week and have yet to get a reply.

 

[mike04456]

I think that I might have freaked out just a little.

But my wife is much too smart to let something like that happen. She would have hidden the dress at her friend's house.

But the truth is that I had been thinking hard about proposing for months and I doubt I would have waited much longer. So it may be that I was unconsciously sending "wedding vibes" by the time my wife went shopping for her dress.

 

[nbrock]

similar thing (to the original story) happened to a good buddy of mine. his wife (then gf of course) found the bag from the jewelry store. they were about to go on vacation to the bahamas -- he had bought her a *very* nice pair of diamond earrings and was excited that he was going to give her something so nice, while she was disappointed that she just got earrings, not an e-ring.

have fun with it. open the box. if it is indeed the e-ring, turn it around and propose to him! that way at least one of you is surprised. if it isn't the e-ring, confess that you found the box, say that you didn't open it, but know that it must be an engagement ring and tell him how happy and excited you are, then open the box and -- psyche!