One in Six Women Disappointed with their Engagement Ring

[OoohShiny]

Oh good! Multiple happy endings!

I can't relate to being disappointed with receiving an ideal-cut 1ct or 1.5ct or up as a gift. Since I paid for all of my current rocks myself, I know what it's like to fork over one's paycheck to pay for them. (shrug)

I agree 100% and I've bought all my other rocks myself too. I think that's the quandary a lot of women find themselves in though. They receive an "expensive gift" that is not exactly to their liking along with a proposal and they don't want to seem ungrateful - that's a tough spot and difficult to broach for many people, male and female. But the reality is, most people don't invest the time to gain the requisite knowledge to make a good choice and regret can last a long time.

My fiance's oldest daughter asked to see my ring after I had returned the first one and I told her I didn't like it and sent it back. She called me the following day and reamed me a new one saying she was offended for her father. I was floored! She had no idea of the back story. It's a very sensitive subject for a lot of people.

lol!

Are you the evil Step-Mom now?

I met and started dating a guy several years ago. We were together for a couple months, and I thought we were building toward something. One day he surprised me with a ring box on one knee. I didn't think we were to that point yet, but apparently he did. He asked, and opened the box to a ring I instantly hated. Not my style at all, and nothing like the rings I already had.

I stuttered a bit, and finally said maybe we needed more time. He got upset, and asked if I said that because of the ring, because he could see the look on my face. I said it wasn't that, it was just too soon. I also told him it troubled me that he was proposing to someone he knew so little about that he'd bought something so unlike anything I'd ever wear. It wasn't even close to my size!

He haranged me for a few days after that, and then we broke up. It wasn't the ring, it was that he didn't even try to know me better.

Sounds like you had a lucky escape!

 

[SandyinAnaheim]

Are you the evil Step-Mom now?

She and her Dad are not at all close, so that drama came out of NOWHERE! She enjoys being meddlesome and opinionated. After her accusation and unwanted defense, I told her the back story and she just said, oh - I didn't know. Of course she didn't!

She didn't see the last ering and she hasn't seen my CBI masterpieces even though I've had them nearly 6 months. When she does see them, she'll be sure to come up with a brand new load of BS to torture me and her father with, that's her style. I think part of her mean-spiritedness regarding this issue is the fact that she married pregnant at 17, is now divorced, and was never given an ering. So I may well end up being the evil Step-Monster because I'd rather throw it in the ocean than ever leave it to her - but she is DEFINITELY the wicked Step-Child and has always been so.

 

[FancyIntense]

So after you guys broke up you got back together, he returned the other ring and got you a CBI masterpiece? This is the same man or two different guys/stories?

Have any pictures of the CBI masterpiece?

 

[distracts]

I find it REALLY INTERESTING that they say one in six women is disappointed, clarify that it was 15%, then say one in eight men aren't pleased by their choices, and clarify that it was 14%. There's some interesting rounding going on there... one in eight is 12.5%, and in 6 is 16.7%... 1 in 7 is 14%, which is closer to both percentages. Idk the way they chose to do those percentages looks a little sexist to me.

I don't know why men (or women, because same-sex marriages are legal now) would even think they could pick the "correct' ring for a partner without getting some input from the partner.

I imagine they think it's romantic to think they know their partner well enough to pick the perfect thing. I think it is very possible to know the other person better than anyone else and to still get things wrong, and for a large amount of money and a thing they're wearing every day, I'd rather get it right!

 

[OoohShiny]

Are you the evil Step-Mom now?

She and her Dad are not at all close, so that drama came out of NOWHERE! She enjoys being meddlesome and opinionated. After her accusation and unwanted defense, I told her the back story and she just said, oh - I didn't know. Of course she didn't!

She didn't see the last ering and she hasn't seen my CBI masterpieces even though I've had them nearly 6 months. When she does see them, she'll be sure to come up with a brand new load of BS to torture me and her father with, that's her style. I think part of her mean-spiritedness regarding this issue is the fact that she married pregnant at 17, is now divorced, and was never given an ering. So I may well end up being the evil Step-Monster because I'd rather throw it in the ocean than ever leave it to her - but she is DEFINITELY the wicked Step-Child and has always been so.

lol!

We just have to smile, amused at these petulant child-like tantrums - life is too short to let irrational, angry people get to us Plus it annoys them more if they throw all their toys out of their pram and we just go 'there there, aren't you sweet'


Just let me know when and where you will be doing the ocean-throwing, though - I will get boat, wetsuit and breathing apparatus sorted out...

I hope you've updated your Will to specifically state she cannot have it!

 

[heididdl]

You are very lucky my husband family was related to Fortunoff (first counsin) so his mother bought 3 pear shape stones one for each of the three boys. So each of us got one of these stones to set the way we wishes. Pear was not my favoite the stone was lifeless and we had no money so $750 setting I was sad. 5 years later together we bought a 1.44 Trillion with 2 .25 trillion on either side. I loved my ring and when I lost my mother 11 years ago she left me her awesome 3.66 emerald cut......so lucky me

 

[Travelgal]

I think there are so many women who want to be surprised by the engagement (including me) that they don't want to be par of the process to spoil the surprise. There are so many ways around this- I took my significant other to a couple jewelers to meet with us together so that they got an idea of us as a couple and my taste. I tried on rings from $1500 to $30000 dollars. I sent him endless rings that I liked online all different styles and prices. He rolled his eyes at every email, pretended to be entertained by my dragging him to jewelers- but in the end I had no idea when he would propose or with what ring.

I am particular and I wanted him to know what I liked and why. He puts a lot of thought into gifts, but after 4 years he often misses the mark. For instance I made one comment about liking Cartier watches and he bought be a Michelle deco watch because he knows I love vintage and Art Deco jewelry. He took my comment as me saying I wanted a watch and then he put his stamp of style on it. I would have preferred an original Art Deco watch or the Cartier I pointed out in the first place. Needless to say, it got returned. And after several discussions I figured out he doesn't like Cartier and I don't like Michelle, so a year later I ended up with a Rolex that we both love.

So I think women should send "hints" to their significant other while being realistic with price. I read that the average man makes a decision that he is going to propose and buys a ring within 3 days. The women on this forum know it often takes longer than 3 days especially with a fancy or ideal cut. So I think women should give very specific "hints" to their partner so when the time comes they can be surprised and LOVE what they get. My sig-o chose one of the many thousand rings I sent him and it's absolutely fabulous. I think it helped him seeing rings on my finger because I have a small ring size yet long fingers. There are styles that look great on me and others that look gaudy. He was able to figure what looked good on me, what he liked, what I liked and what fit our budget while still surprising me with the engagement. As wives, girlfriends, sisters, best friends, daughters, and friends I think it's a good thing to guide our men into decisions that make us both proud.