on guestlists: what''s a safe percentage of delines?

[sweetpea&babycorn]

what is a safe percentage on the number of guests invited to the wedding who will not come? i''m assuming 10% but i know nothing, and my fiance and i are trying to trim down the guest list. we''re having a really hard time, since we''ve already gone through one round of cuts.

any answers, opinions from experience or evidence-based science? thank you!

 

[sunnyd]

It depends. I don''t think there''s a general number that will decline. We had 20% decline, but we knew about most of them, as they were cross-country family members who couldn''t travel due to finances, school, etc. So really it was about a 10% decline.

You need to take into account the time of year (summer is easier for students because they''re out of school), distance, how close they are to you, etc.

 

[Miss Sparkly]

I agree with SunnyD. Most of our friends and family are close by and I would bank on most people who would have to fly in not to make it. Do you have any ideas of who might not be able to make it right now?

 

[trillionaire]

good timing for this question, as we''ve been wondering the same thing. I''d say 90% of our guests would be out of town, so should I assume that no one is going to show???

My parents are generously hosting the reception where they live, but no matter where we could have planned it, 75% of people or more would be travelling.

I think we''d end up inviting around 200 people, but would be much happier with a turn out of 100-150...

I''ve read the 30% usually decline, and 50% for destination weddings... I think that my friends and peers will go out of their way to attend, but I have a lot of family that I am sure will decline, which is fine.

 

[charbie]

My wedding was 2 hrs away from both sides of our family. We invited probably 235, had 165 say yes, however we knew that was prob going to be the case. Look at your list and think about who you really think will make it...we were pretty close when we went thru the list like that.

 

[sweetpea&babycorn]

thanks all! geography right now isn''t something we''re taking into account. i''ve posted that we''ll be having a maine wedding, but my grandmother''s handicapped status is limiting where we can have the wedding, so now it''s going to be in massachusetts, within a 1/1.5hr driving radius to the wedding location. this means that it''s going to be much closer to both our families (from MA, VT, CT, NY, ME, and VA).

we kind of have a few pools of guests to invite:

1) Immediate family: we''re banking on all close family coming because the location will be close for everyone, and our wedding party of course.

2) friends: scattered all over the place. most of our friends live in dc which seems to be in the grey zone of flying or driving 6/7 hours. this group is the most unpredictable at the moment. we also have others that live further out west, and those are unpredictable too, because we do feel like they would come to the wedding, can''t be sure though

3) obligatory invites: one thing we had to do was invite distant family and friends out of obligation. they aren''t necessarily close to us, or have even seen us in the past year, but we felt we had to be polite and invite them. we share many mutual friends, and we don''t want to offend them by giving their friends invites but not them (even though we know those invited). since we''re not all the close, we don''t think this group would take the time to travel and attend.

we did the A group and B group, and also assigned probabilities of those coming. from all that, we have 153 in the A group, and 30 in the B group.

we are on a supertight budget, so by even cutting down guests by 10, we would have more flexibility on the venue and whatnot. right now we''re assuming all our guests will come which is having a huge strain on our options, so i just wanted to get an idea of how much of our guest list is safe to cut.

 

[Erinleigh]

I''ve always heard that you can expect (on average) a 20% decline.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

I think this is what I read...

Close family-over 90% accept
Intown (approx. 1.5 hour drive or less)-around 80%
out of town/distant friends-around 60%

but everyone''s guests are difference so there is a lot of variation...

 

[LilyKat]

To be honest, if you''re looking to save on money/space, I''d cut out the "polite" group. I''d hate for someone to invite me to their wedding just out of politeness. People understand that weddings are expensive.

We''re assuming that only 20% of guests who have to fly in will make it. And that 80% of those within driving distance will.

 

[gwendolyn]

Safest guess in my opinion is to assume 0% will decline, if we're talking about budget and/or who we actually want to be there (referring to the practice of inviting people on the assumption they will say no).

 

[LilyKat]

Date: 1/19/2010 6:52:19 AM
Author: gwendolyn
Safest guess in my opinion is to assume 0% will decline, if we''re talking about budget and/or who we actually want to be there (referring to the practice of inviting people on the assumption they will say no).

Very good point.

Our venue will fit everyone in case 100% reply. It''ll be a squeeze, but possible. I wouldn''t hire a venue without a backup plan in case everyone does say yes.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Definitely assume that no one will decline and only invite those you can afford to invite. People who can''t come will RSVP before those who can, so you can easily fill their spots or not (up to you). In the end DH and I decided to not fill the spots for people who declined because to us that was $ in our pockets. We ended up saving more than $1000 because of this, and that''s a lot when you''re paying for the wedding with cash from your own wallet. I invited 50 ppl and we ended up with 44.

 

[purselover]

There is no safe percentage of decline rate! We invited about 175 we expected around 120 we had around 100 RSVP (yes including professionals) and I think only around 85 actually came

 

[Morgie44]

We had around 1/3 decline, 310 invited, 205 accepted... there were some extenuating situations though... There were about 30-40 guests from out of the country, as well as a good chunk from OOT. My cousin got married 2 weeks before us, so a few guests did the if they can''t/can''t afford to come to both they didn''t come to either. DH also has a large number of aunts and uncles 11 sets on one side and 9 on the other. Some of which, there are some rifts between, though we were still obligated to invite them.

 

[meresal]

I wouldn''t rely on any set percentage. Don''t invite more than you are willing to pay for, if they were to all show up. I think it depends on how many people you invite. (ie, the more you invite, the more will decline) We invited probably around 350 and only 250-260 RSVP''d yes.

 

[lilyfoot]

Date: 1/19/2010 7:48:14 AM
Author: LilyKat

Date: 1/19/2010 6:52:19 AM
Author: gwendolyn
Safest guess in my opinion is to assume 0% will decline, if we''re talking about budget and/or who we actually want to be there (referring to the practice of inviting people on the assumption they will say no).

Very good point.

Our venue will fit everyone in case 100% reply. It''ll be a squeeze, but possible. I wouldn''t hire a venue without a backup plan in case everyone does say yes.

I totally have to agree with this. There''s really just no way to tell, and you don''t want to choose your venue, etc. with a certain count in your head, and have it turn out to be 20% more "yes" RSVP''s than you thought