Okay ladies, be honest

[QueenB29]

After seeing recent posts by the two PSers who 1) didn''t like her center stone and 2) thought her stone was too small, I began to wonder how common this was.

So for those of you who didn''t help pick out your original E-ring, who was secretly disappointed or ambivalent? And what did you do about it? I mean, did you just live with it or eventually change it?

DH proposed with a .31, VS2 emerald-cut fancy brownish-pink diamond in a very simple, cheap white gold solitare setting. He knew my favorite cut was emerald and that I love the color pink, so he picked out the biggest pink diamond he could afford. I loved the work he put into it to give me something really special, and I thought it was cool to have a pink diamond. But the setting didn''t do it justice and the stone blended into my skin; I secretly wished I had something bigger, white and sparklely, but I never would have said anything.

Fast forward a year and a half to when we looked at wedding bands and my E-ring setting didn''t look good with ANYTHING. Fortunately, Jared''s had a bridal set with a square-halo e-ring setting. DH saw how amazng it would look, and I got my reset about a month before our wedding

The new setting takes up more finger "real-estate" and really highlights the color of my stone. I LOVE my ring now and get compliments all the time.

I don''t have pics with the original setting, but here''s my ring today, w/the matching bands. What''s your story?

 

[QueenB29]

Here''s a few more pics. It''s very hard to capture the color on camera, and it shifts according to the light, ranging from light pink to a pink zinfandel color.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

I had no input really into my ring other than I liked rounds and cut was important.
He did a great job though! I think the setting is a bit boring (my other jewelery tends to be quirkier), but still very lovely!

I might reset it a few years down the road if something really catches my eye. It''s a little high right now for my liking.

 

[QueenB29]

Hmmm...that didn''t work....

 

[vespergirl]

I had a situation like this, except I was the only one to blame because I had picked my original stone! I had decided that I really liked the look of a 1.5 ct solitiare on my hand. However, I had only had the chance to try on round solitiares, so the size I liked was around 7.5 mm.

When we went ring shopping, though, I decided that I loved asschers, so I was trying on 1.5 ct asschers, because I didn''t realize that different shapes faced up different sizes (this was before PS). Even my DH kept thinking that the 1.5 ct asschers I was looking at looked really small to him, and he was asking to see 2 ct stones instead. We were paying for our own wedding & buying a house that year, though, so I told him, I don''t need a 2 ct stone, I like the look of 1.5 carats, this one is fine. Still, he ended up going with something a little bigger and got me a 1.64 ct asscher - I thought anything over 1.5 ct was huge, so I was over the moon.

However, when he picked up the ring the following week and "proposed," I have to say that once it was in the 2.5 mm setting, the stone looked small to me. Also when I showed it off to people, the comment was "Wow, is that almost a carat?" And I couldn''t believe that people thought it wasn''t even a full carat. My secretary had the guts to just come out and say, "Oh, I thought he would get you something bigger." No one believed me that it was over a carat.

So, that''s when I found PS, and looked at my cert. It turned out that my 75% depth asscher was only 6.2 mm, instead of the 7.5 mm I thought I was getting in a stone around 1.5 ct - that''s why it looked so small to me when I got it. I felt really bad, because my DH didn''t even like asschers & wanted to get me an RB to begin with, but then I had to go back to him and explain that I actually thought I was getting a stone that looked like 1.5 ct, not so much smaller. Luckily, he was OK with swapping the stone (since I had picked it anyway) and our jeweler has a 100% trade-in policy, so I was able to exchange the stone for the size we had originally agreed on. We went up to an asscher that was over 2 cts, but that still only faced up around 7 mm, and I realized that I wanted a sparklier stone than a step-cut, so we finally traded it for a 2 ct RB, which is what my DH would have bought me originally if I had never been involved in the process. Now I''m happy!

So here''s the moral of the story:
1. Get on PS before you buy a diamond - I probably would never have gone with an asscher to begin with if I understood about face-up sizes .
2. My DH actually knows my own taste better than I do, which is pretty scary

 

[Ellen]

I know you said "for those who didn''t pick their ring out". I actually did, but my story still applies I think.

My hubby grew up very poor. Therefore, he started working from a very young age. He had a real sense of money, and what he felt was appropriate for whatever he bought.

He proposed without a ring, as he knew I definitely had my preferences, and I still love him for doing that! It didn''t take away from the proposal at all, for me. So, we went looking, and I quicky realized that what rings cost, and what he wanted to spend, were not going to get me something very big. While I had never really dreamed about a ring, I knew what I wanted once I started looking. And what I wanted was somewhat bigger than what our budget was going to allow. I ended up with about a .30 round.

It was not what I would have picked had I had carte blanche. However, I respected my husband, and I respected where he was coming from, what was driving his decision on what he felt comfortable spending. So I did not make a fuss. It really wasn''t all about the ring, and I didn''t want to start things off on the wrong foot. I just accepted that this was what my husband, who had been through so much, felt comfortable with. That was that. And I did love my ring!

I happily wore that ring for 24 years. I then got a beautiful, substantial upgrade, but only because he wouldn''t get me an inground pool. That was actually first on the wishlist, the upgrade was second.

I often wonder if I would have really appreciated what I have now, had I gotten it back then. I don''t know, there''s no way to know. All I can say is that for me, personally, it was absolutely worth the wait. I adore my ring, and I adore my hubby for agreeing on an upgrade, to something my old eyes can easily see now!

 

[QueenB29]

LOL. That is too funny vespergirl! I''m not sure my DH would have that much patience with me....I''m glad you''re happy now. Your ring is beautiful!

 

[QueenB29]

That''s a lovely story Ellen!

 

[rhbgirl24]

I guess I am on the flipside here. I didn''t have anything to do with the design of my ering, but he took everything I love into account, then melded it with his tastes. I have 1.5 on my finger - the center being 1, and is so much bigger than I thought I would get (one reason why he waited so long to propose!) even with the fiasco of now getting the setting redone b/c of the disappointment with the first one, I am still over the moon about it.

My thoughts with anyone who isn''t thrilled with what they first received is: thats what anniversaries are for!!!!

 

[papillon626]

Your set is BEAUTIFUL and shows off the center stone really well. I can imagine that it did look a bit washed out by itself. My fiance had my ring with a 1.6 RB and set in 14k white gold and it's driving me nuts, especially with the rodium plating fading off so soon. I am planning to reset it in platinum, in the same exact style solitaire setting (cathedral with tulip prongs) soon (he won't know the difference and I'm paying for it) I don't mind my future wedding band being in white gold and turning yellowish but I can't stand it for my e-ring, especially around the single diamond. I don't even mind having an eternity bands in rose, yellow or white gold. Having the platinum e-ring is better to me because I like the plain platinum ring surrounded with all the other gold metals with diamonds.

 

[QueenB29]

Date: 7/24/2009 11:34:08 AM
Author: papillon626
Your set is BEAUTIFUL and shows off the center stone really well. I can imagine that it did look a bit washed out by itself. My fiance had my ring with a 1.6 RB and set in 14k white gold and it''s driving me nuts, especially with the rodium plating fading off so soon. I am planning to reset it in platinum, in the same style solitaire setting (cathedral with tulip prongs) soon. I don''t mind my future wedding band being in white gold and turning yellowish but I can''t stand it for my e-ring, especially around the single diamond. I don''t even mind having an eternity bands in rose, yellow or white gold. Having the platinum e-ring is better to me because I like the plain platinum ring surrounded with all the other gold metals with diamonds.

Thank you papillon! I know what you mean about the rhodium plating. I think that was one of the reasons I didn''t care for my original setting. Fortunately my set now is better quality and the rhodium doesn''t come off as easily, but we aslo have a protection plan on it with Jareds and it includes replating (as often as I want) for free. I''ve had it replated twice since our wedding in Sept. I''m starting to really like the two-tone look. I''m thinking of having my bands unsoldered and getting some rose gold bands to mix in

 

[QueenB29]

Date: 7/24/2009 10:34:53 AM
Author: MakingTheGrade
I had no input really into my ring other than I liked rounds and cut was important.
He did a great job though! I think the setting is a bit boring (my other jewelery tends to be quirkier), but still very lovely!

I might reset it a few years down the road if something really catches my eye. It''s a little high right now for my liking.

I saw pictures of your ring on another thread. It''s beautiful! I also love your lotus ring

 

[ficklefaye]

FI proposed with a loose diamond, and altho it is a really lovely rb, part of me still wishes it was an OEC, but i can always save that for a RHR

 

[tigian]

My DH picked out my ring by himself. All he knew was that I preferred RB. He knew only the very basics about diamonds, I knew even less. I hadn't found PS yet at that point. I loooooove my ring, even with the knowledge that I have now. Sure, the cut could better and the setting could be more refined, but it is perfect to me and symbolizes my marriage which couldn't be more important. I love wearing my ring and proud to show it off.
I definitely would love an upgrade at some point, but I think I will DH decide on that. I'm happy making other diamond purchases for myself.

 

[kittybean]

I didn''t pick out my e-ring, and I actually thought beforehand that I would hate the setting he chose for my EC, which was the shape I really wanted and a wonderful size as well. I had only (accidentally) seen a stock, CAD-type picture of it on the computer, and it did not look as pretty as I had hoped. I was prepared to be disappointed, but as it turns out, I absolutely adore it in person. It''s so pretty, and it was a perfect combination of his taste and mine.

 

[QueenB29]

I''m so glad you ended up loving your ring

 

[Londongirl1]

Date: 7/24/2009 10:31:38 AM
Author:QueenB29
So for those of you who didn''t help pick out your original E-ring, who was secretly disappointed or ambivalent? And what did you do about it? I mean, did you just live with it or eventually change it?

My SO chose my ring after I had told him that I wanted a split shank setting. Well, he''s such a lovely guy that he got me what I asked for but after wearing it for a year I knew I''d made a mistake

I wanted a simple solitaire setting instead. I reset my princess stone and I couldn''t be happier with it

.

Pic attached.....

 

[tyty333]

With my first marriage, my proposal was a surprise and so was the ring. I was very thrilled to be engaged and didnt
know much about diamonds at all. My then finance told me it was about .75. I had it measured at a jewlers
much later and she said it was not measuing .75 but it could have been deep. Its about the dullest, most bland
diamond I''ve ever seen. Its an I1 (if not lower) and proabably in the J/K color range. I did nothing about the
ring at the time but after a while I didnt really care much for it (the stone was just not pretty no matter what).
I''m sure my finance paid way more for it then it was worth

. I still have the ring but cant figure out
what to do with an ulgy diamond? Try to have it recut? Its really not that big and the inclusions may not
permit it...so then what? I need to take some pictures and post so you all know what I am talking about!

My second husband let me pick out my stone so...very happy with it

!

 

[Nomsdeplume]

QueenB, your set is so stunning!

 

[Tuckins1]

Lovely set! I got exactly what I asked for, and I have never looked back! (Just forward... To MORE SPARKLIES!!)

 

[Laila619]

Date: 7/24/2009 11:03:43 AM
Author: vespergirl
I had a situation like this, except I was the only one to blame because I had picked my original stone! I had decided that I really liked the look of a 1.5 ct solitiare on my hand. However, I had only had the chance to try on round solitiares, so the size I liked was around 7.5 mm.

When we went ring shopping, though, I decided that I loved asschers, so I was trying on 1.5 ct asschers, because I didn't realize that different shapes faced up different sizes (this was before PS). Even my DH kept thinking that the 1.5 ct asschers I was looking at looked really small to him, and he was asking to see 2 ct stones instead. We were paying for our own wedding & buying a house that year, though, so I told him, I don't need a 2 ct stone, I like the look of 1.5 carats, this one is fine. Still, he ended up going with something a little bigger and got me a 1.64 ct asscher - I thought anything over 1.5 ct was huge, so I was over the moon.

However, when he picked up the ring the following week and 'proposed,' I have to say that once it was in the 2.5 mm setting, the stone looked small to me. Also when I showed it off to people, the comment was 'Wow, is that almost a carat?' And I couldn't believe that people thought it wasn't even a full carat. My secretary had the guts to just come out and say, 'Oh, I thought he would get you something bigger.' No one believed me that it was over a carat.

So, that's when I found PS, and looked at my cert. It turned out that my 75% depth asscher was only 6.2 mm, instead of the 7.5 mm I thought I was getting in a stone around 1.5 ct - that's why it looked so small to me when I got it. I felt really bad, because my DH didn't even like asschers & wanted to get me an RB to begin with, but then I had to go back to him and explain that I actually thought I was getting a stone that looked like 1.5 ct, not so much smaller. Luckily, he was OK with swapping the stone (since I had picked it anyway) and our jeweler has a 100% trade-in policy, so I was able to exchange the stone for the size we had originally agreed on. We went up to an asscher that was over 2 cts, but that still only faced up around 7 mm, and I realized that I wanted a sparklier stone than a step-cut, so we finally traded it for a 2 ct RB, which is what my DH would have bought me originally if I had never been involved in the process. Now I'm happy!

So here's the moral of the story:
1. Get on PS before you buy a diamond - I probably would never have gone with an asscher to begin with if I understood about face-up sizes .
2. My DH actually knows my own taste better than I do, which is pretty scary

Vespergirl, this is such a funny and cute story! I wonder if your darling DH was secretly thinking, "I told you so!" in an amused way.

It's funny how sometimes our guys know our taste better than we do.

 

[dinamit]

Well, I think I can definitely contribute to this thread. I didn''t like my original e-ring. To many it might be pretty, and even I think it''s a nice ring, but it''s too delicate for my size 6 fingers. On top of that, I like modern rings that are fairly simple in design. My other half didn''t, and still doesn''t, know much about diamonds. He went in to a High St store and picked up what he thought was pretty. I don''t know what it''s like over there, but here in the UK, these stores that claim to be ''diamond specialists'' sell uncertificated diamonds that are usually poorly cut and of lower end clarity and colour. And they are everywhere; they are visible, and the stores selling quality diamonds are nestled on one hidden away little street in London. Anyway, he didn''t have anyone to tell him better. The vast majority of women here end up wearing something like that on their hands, and are happy, as they don''t know anything else. We have a long way to go when it comes to diamond education and choice; the market in the US is just wonderful, which is why a lot of us Brits import.

My poor parents also bought me a ring like this for my b-day, and I can totally relate to how you feel Tyty333; I simply don''t know what to do with this jewellery. It will always be dear to me for sentimental reasons, but wearing these rings on my right hand doesn''t really work, as they look even worse in comparison to my new lovely e-ring diamond.

Anyway, to cut the long story short, I was honest and told my other half that the ring is very beautiful, but just not me, and that I feel I need a chunkier style for my hand. I waited a while, but I am getting a new ring made as we speak, and will post pics once it''s done. In the meantime, here is a couple of pics of the original e-ring.

 

[dinamit]

And another...

 

[upgrade]

Threadjack: Kribbie what is that stone in your avatar? I know nothing about coloured stones but the colour on that one- WOW! Love it!

Back to the topic at hand:

I had no input into my orginal ering and I was dissapointed. The diamond was, at .48, smaller than I thought I would be getting (I think I was imagining something closer to a carat) but I didn''t ever say anything about that- if that was what he was comfortable spending, that was fine by me. What I really disliked was the setting. It was very masculine and very heavy. The band was as wide as the diamond and it was in a 6 prong head (I''m a 4 prong kind of girl) and it made the diamond look even smaller. The wedding band was the same width as the ering band and it went almost knuckle to knuckle on my little hands. It took me 5 years of marriage (6 of wearing the ring) to admit I wasn''t happy with the setting. I felt TERRIBLE because he designed it himself. I loved the thought behind it, but the ring was very ''him,'' not me.

For our 5th anniversary I got to choose a reset and I chose an x-prong setting with a plain 2.5 mm wedding band and I loved it but I secretly still wanted more bling.

For our 10th anniversary he gave me another .48 diamond and a .76 and we turned it into a 3 stone trelis that I absolutely LOVE. I''ll never change this ring. I love the it encorporates my orginal diamond and still gives the bling and finger coverage I had been craving.

Of the people I know in real life, the only women I know who really, really love their rings are those who either chose their own or sent a well educated sister or girlfriend to do their bidding.

 

[upgrade]

Don ''t have any pics of the orginial but here''s my 5th anniversary reset:

 

[upgrade]

And here''s my 10th anniversary 3 stone:

 

[QueenB29]

Date: 7/24/2009 3:57:34 PM
Author: kribbie
QueenB, your set is so stunning!

Thanks kribbie!

I second the question: what is that gorgeous stone? I love the color!

 

[UCLABelle]

QueenB29-What a sweet husband!!!!! I have had way too many changes to even begin to state my feelings

 

[Nomsdeplume]

Thanks ladies. It''s my paraiba tourmaline. I absolutely fell in love with these stones when I saw the blue-green color. It''s like the caribbean on a sunny day. They glow due to their copper and gold content, so it''s almost like having your very own piece of kryptonite.

 

[Lula]

I can definitely relate to this thread! QueenB, your stone is stunning; I'm so glad you found a setting that shows it off. I also like the "evolution" pictures -- it's not surprising to me that a person's taste in jewelry will change over time, but it's so hard to balance that with the sentimental feelings associated with every engagement ring. Having the stone reset (with or without other stones) is such a great solution.

And there's always the problem of expectations! It's so hard to imagine what a ring style or certain size/shape stone will look on your hand, IRL. This was (and continues to be) my problem.

My stone from my first marriage was about a half-carat, set in 18 kt. yellow gold in a very modern setting. My former husband and I picked it out together. We knew nothing about diamonds. It seemed huge to me and since it was the 1980s, big and bold modern settings were in and I got lots of compliments, even though the stone was sort of gray and blah. I got divorced and sold the stone.

For my second marriage, I chose a one-carat emerald-cut blue sapphire. A velvety blue sapphire that still to this day elicits comments from jewelers about its quality. The jeweler I got it from was a jerk, promising to resize the ring the day we bought it, and then later saying it couldn't be sized because it was a tension setting. So for a year I wore my ring one size too big (trying out every sort of sizing contraption on the market) and finally had it reset in a custom art deco setting. I then went the side stone route and had it reset a few years later in a modern setting with green tsavorite side stones. It was modern, bold and striking, but I grew tired of people asking me if it was my wedding ring!

So, when my husband asked me what I wanted for an anniversary present, I said a diamond. He was a little surprised, but gave me the go ahead. I'd found Pricescope and lurked for a while and learned everything I could about buying a well-cut diamond online (I never would have considered that a year ago!!).

All I can say is thank goodness PS vendors have great return policies, because in less than 3 months I'm on my third ring (agghhhhhhh). Those not familiar with my story can search my screen name and you will see my evolution from a D to an M, from VS2 to SI2 and from a .45 to a .53, to a 1.0 (anxiously awaiting the delivery of my 1.0 M SI2 sometime next week!). My friends and family think I'm nuts, but I tell them I don't wear much jewelry and what I do wear I want to be quality and I want to love it.

Like Ellen, I have older eyes and I want to see my upgrade!! I was shocked at how small a half-carat RB looked on my hand (solitaire setting). I was also shocked that the higher colors, D-F, just looked like white dots to me, I couldn't see any contrast, especially without my glasses! This was really unexpected (is there a thread on failing eyesight and upgrades?). So now I'm going with a larger diamond in a lower color so I can enjoy the diamond with or without my glasses! Who knew?? I thank the universe every day that there is a place like PS where I can discuss jewelry and diamonds without boring my husband to tears and where I can get such great advice and reassurance!

I forgot to add -- the day I sent my .53 to Wink for my trade-up, I told my husband I was a little sad about packing it up and mailing it off. And he said, "Why? It's only a ring"

!!! He is more sentimental about our wedding bands and just does not care about jewelry.