OK PS''ers... propose with a final setting or temporary setting

[Professor]

The other post is a bit deceptive of my progress in my ering purchase, so I wanted to start this one and get some opinions.

I put a deposit on this diamond: http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/2125/ . I saw a few people listing it here, so I got a family member to look at it in person. He said it as REALLY good looking and was pleased with his experience at the store, so I was set.

Since I have the diamond, I need a setting. The major issue is that I will be proposing in less 3 weeks. With that in mind, I have a few options.

1) The Scott Kay ring that she picked out is available at any Jared''s or other retailer, so this is a failsafe:

2) I think this Tacori is better, but it is brand new and it would need to be ordered (4 weeks out)

3) I wouldn''t mind a halo, but I do not know if I can get one like Beverly K''s within that timeframe. I have been pursuaded into a classy halo if I can find one and get it in time.

4) Put it in a classic 6 prong setting and then shop with her to get the perfect band after the fact.

Honestly, I would like to do #4. She can be picky sometimes, but she has told me that "you should know what I would like" when it comes to the rings. As much as I believe I do, I really think she should have a say in the ring (not the diamond, that is all me). She has already returned gifts in the past to get what she wanted, so that is why I wanted to get some independant opinions of women that might have been in this situation in the past. As always, thanks in advance for your help and I''ll send out a huge message next month of the complete project and the proposal, which I believe many of you would like!

 

[KristyDarling]

Well, if she thinks you should know what she likes, and she''s indicated that she does indeed like #1, then that could work just fine. Of course, if it were me, I''d greatly prefer #4

. I''m a control freak though. And since it sounds like your GF is the exchanger type, perhaps #4 would work for her, too. Personally, I think there''s nothing more romantic than being proposed to with a temporary solitaire setting so that I could at least wear it around for a few days before shopping together for EXACTLY what I want! The shopping is in and of itself is a romantic, exciting, and fun thing to do together in anticipation of your life together!

 

[JulieN]

ahem...most women dream of being surprised with exactly what they want.

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 6/19/2006 2:30:06 PM
Author:Professor

4) Put it in a classic 6 prong setting and then shop with her to get the perfect band after the fact.

Honestly, I would like to do #4. She can be picky sometimes, but she has told me that ''you should know what I would like'' when it comes to the rings. As much as I believe I do, I really think she should have a say in the ring (not the diamond, that is all me). She has already returned gifts in the past to get what she wanted, so that is why I wanted to get some independant opinions of women that might have been in this situation in the past. As always, thanks in advance for your help and I''ll send out a huge message next month of the complete project and the proposal, which I believe many of you would like!

I''d absolutely go with your instinct and do the temp thing.

As for "you should know what I''d like".......well, my folks have been married for 42 years next month. My dad has always done a wonderful job picking things my mother likes for jewelry. In spite of that, she wasn''t really enamored with the last set of earrings he picked out, and they returned them.

Moral of the story: It''s not fair to expect someone else to know what you''ll like, no matter how long you''ve been together. Knowing that, I''d take a chance on a birthday gift or a holiday gift, but I''m not sure I''d leave something as important as an e-ring to chance.

I think you''re right on the money - go temporary.

 

[WTNLVR]

Play it safe and go with number 4. Then you can look at your options together. She''ll hopefully be wearing the ring for many years so she should make the final decision. I used the "you should know what I like" line before and I swear hubby is on another planet. I buy my own jewelry now because he has no clue whatsoever

 

[Oleander]

I vote #4 also. It''s probably the least expensive, it''s the simplest, and won''t interfere with her seeing the diamond--won''t distract her in case she wouldn''t like a more complex setting. Then you two will have fun picking out the final setting.

 

[FireGoddess]

Agreed - option 4 - that way she can make sure SHE gets exactly what she wants!!! Can''t go wrong with the temp setting.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 6/19/2006 2:38:57 PM
Author: JulieN
ahem...most women dream of being surprised with exactly what they want.

Especially when they''re only twenty years old and haven''t realized their fellas aren''t mind-readers yet!

Heck ... how many ladies around here PICKED OUT THEIR STONE & SETTING and then have second thoughts about both BEFORE THE WEDDING. If we don''t know OURSELVES what we want ... how can our fellas???

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Either go with the Scott Kay or a 14K wg tiffany temporary setting. There is NO way for another person to know what another person likes. There are too many choices. The only thing you "know" she likes is the Scott Kay since she picked it out.

 

[eleguin]

Is the 3 weeks date set or is it more flexible? Maybe you can talk to her more about settings before you propose so she will have her dream ring the moment you propose. Choice #4 is great too, but that would mean she would be ring-less after your proposal for however long it takes to set the diamond. With all the excitement of the proposal, it might be a bummer to have to wait 4 weeks or more for the ring.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Date: 6/19/2006 3:12:09 PM
Author: eleguin
Is the 3 weeks date set or is it more flexible? Maybe you can talk to her more about settings before you propose so she will have her dream ring the moment you propose. Choice #4 is great too, but that would mean she would be ring-less after your proposal for however long it takes to set the diamond. With all the excitement of the proposal, it might be a bummer to have to wait 4 weeks or more for the ring.

This is a very good point. I think I''d call Bill Pearlman and get a price and timeline on the Scott Kay to see if it is even possible.

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 6/19/2006 3:12:09 PM
Author: eleguin

With all the excitement of the proposal, it might be a bummer to have to wait 4 weeks or more for the ring.

I see this point and can agree with it to some extent.....but on the other hand, what good is it to have a ring in hand that you don''t really love?

All that does is delay the inevitable.......becuase at some point, if she decides to change it, she''ll be without it for a while anyway.

It doesn''t take that long to set a diamond......a skilled setter in your local area can have it done in a day or two if you set an appointment.

 

[Professor]

The date is pretty much set in stone, but if I keep taking her out to stores, I believe it will ruin the surprise. I believe I am leaning towards the Scott Kay one and/or a 6 Prong 18K WG Tiffany that we can change in the future. I''m getting her best friend to give me an opinion as well and we''ll go from there.

 

[mrssalvo]

If she saw the Scott Kay ring and like it a lot, i don''t see anything wrong with proposing with it. Especially if you think she''d be disappointed to see a plain solitaire and then have to possible send the ring off after you''ve proposed. it''s very hard to let it go soon after you get it. SK settings aren''t cheap but they aren''t so expensive that it would be the end of the world if she wanted to change it in a few years. You should also discuss with your jeweler the senario and their return policy in case you get the setting and she ends up not liking it. They may very well let you exchange it for something else at that time. But again, if she saw the SK and picked it, you''d probably be ok. Most of us gals here on PS are very picky and want to be involved in every detail. not all women are like us. My sister''s only request to her now hubby was a 1 carat round and left the rest up to him. she didn''t even see her wedding band until her wedding

. her hubby ended up going with channel set rounds in both the e-ring and wedding band and she loves it, and she loves that he picked it. she''s only been married 2 years but doesn''t have 1 thought of changing anythig about it.

 

[Scooba]

Date: 6/19/2006 2:58:41 PM
Author: decodelighted


Heck ... how many ladies around here PICKED OUT THEIR STONE & SETTING and then have second thoughts about both BEFORE THE WEDDING. If we don''t know OURSELVES what we want ... how can our fellas???

I would go with #4, deco is right, I picked out my stone and setting and within 3 or 4 weeks I have done a complete 180 on the setting and changed it to something totally opposite of what I originally wanted, I don''t even know myself, if my FI would have picked it out he would have been wrong too.

 

[pinkflamingo]

I would go with #1. If she likes that, then that should be it.

 

[WinkHPD]

The biggest danger with #4 is that about 80% of my guys who have done that, end up with her keeping the "temporary" ring.

Some, of course, love that, but many really did want to get something "nicer" for the love of their live''s...

Wink

 

[ladykemma]

jared''s can put you in a temp setting in 30 minutes.

 

[TravelingGal]

I vote temp. That way she gets to show it off twice...first the diamond, then more oohs and aahs over the setting.

 

[Gypsy]

Okay... well in the other post you said that you liked the Beverly K-- see if Pearlman's can get it in for you. It's just a phone call. If not... I think the Scott Kay is lovely I would just go with that-- and SHE likes it. As for the reset. Well, I like the idea-- that's what we did-- four years ago. But something always comes up that is more important than jewelry. Wink's right about that.

I just re-allocated my setting money to our wedding/ honeymoon deposit and gown fund. Not that I won't get it re-set-- but I've pushed it back since getting married is our priority. I may not getting my 'dream' setting either... and instead go with a very nice copy of a 7,000 designer setting. So...compromise comes into it after the proposal is done. And if you have the money to get her a setting she likes now... I say go for it.



ETA: Call Whiteflash for a halo estimate too. Adwar has lovely settings and WF can get them in for you and finish them with diamonds. Probably wouldn't take too long. It's definitely worth a call. Pick a mounting from www.adwar.com and call WF about it.