Oh, Wow... This is it.

[purelily]

I've said this before, but this is perfection. I've been in love with micropave since I saw it on another woman's finger... I can't remember how young I was. Then, I tried it on again when I was 22. *sigh* When I realized the price, I gave up on the idea.

The original reason I dragged my SO into harry winston was to drool over the cushion cut set in micropave, but my senses won me over and I agreed to look at a simple solitaire. Plus, the woman at HW told me I couldn't afford it in my price range

I thought it waw okay...My SO loves solitaires. So, solitaires and rings that are conservative and modest. So, solitaires are what I have been looking at. But THEN he gave me free reign to price and find my own non designer ring within a budget.


My best friend told me that she could never see me wearing (and be happy for long) with a round solitaire (they're beautiful, and traditional which has never really been me

) I disagreed with her for 8 months and said I will be happy with a solitaire because he wants a solitaire.

But now...I sort of agree with her. I've spent MONTHS looking for a ring that I liked but was never in love. I was in deep like but not LOVE. Nothing that made my heart sing or made me think OMG! this is it because, I'll admit, i'm not a round solitaire type of girl, but my SO is a Tiffany Round solitaire, no upgrade ever, you should be modest not over the top type of guy.


So here is my question for you. If your SO said okay, get what you LOVE it means more to you than me, would you go with your dream ring? or would you compromise and say I know you don't like it, so I will shelve my idea and love anything you get me (even though you'll be sort of disappointed after all the effort and research you've put in)

I had this talk with my mother and she told me just say whatever he wants. I just feel.. he told me this should be something I love... he stressed that it has to be something I will love for the rest of my life because not only will it be the sentimental value, but he wants to get this right the first time.

shouldn't we get it right the first time?

P.S. For all of you who have been reading my e-ring threads, lets just say, yes, this is COMPLETELY different than what I've been looking at, but this is the first time a ring ever gave me butterflies and this time, there is no mention of so he thinks....

For your viewing pleasure the Winnie


oh and PPS.... I absolutely LOVE ERD. Mark is the nicest person in the world!

 

[purelily]

There was a link that accompanied this post, but the forum ate it... here it is winnie''s link

 

[gwendolyn]

Aren't all the droopy-drawers sad faces in your post enough to tell you that, in your heart, you really WON'T be happy with a solitaire? And *especially* now that you've been given the a-ok to find the type of ring that you *do* want?

I think you feel guilty for wanting what you want. Well, don't. You aren't stomping your foot, demanding that your boyfriend buy you the HW that's way out of the price range. He's offering you a compromise, because yes, this *is* more important to you than to him because it will be *you* who wears this ring for the rest of your life. And, he's probably picked up on how you're trying to twist your own arm into liking solitaires and maybe also realizes that it could be less expensive in the long run to just get you your perfect ring for the beginning, instead of dealing with you wrestling with feelings of guilt and unhappiness over going with the solitaire even though it's never been what you want. Plus there's the whole aspect that, when he DOES give you the ring, he wants you to cry out of happiness, not disappointment, y'know?

(Not saying that you would, but if you're disappointed about the concept of solitaires NOW, it doesn't take much imagination to think of how you might feel if he were to present you with one.)

I think you'd be absolutely bonkers (in the nicest way possible, of course

) if you opted for a solitaire when your dream setting is within your grasp. But that's just my opinion--maybe the other ladies won't be quite so harsh with you.

 

[ckrickett]

At the end of the day YOU are the one wearing the ring, so you should be 100% happy. Now I usually say that if you have say a 10k budget and a girl goes and looks at 50k rings and then uses the above argument, well then that argument doesn''t work (and she is being extremely disrespectful). But if he was like "hey I want to make you happy here.... spend this much money and get the ring you love!" well then I think you shouldn''t feel bad at all.
He said he prefers solitaires but you prefer micro-pave. Think about this say you love him to wear a certain type of shirt (like a crazy color like lavender) and he HATES that color but you love it. You go out and buy him a crazy expensive lavender shirt that you think will look dynamite on him. if he wears it but is unhappy or doesn''t wear it at all, yes your feelings might be alittle hurt, but he is the one wearing it and ultimately that''s were it really matters.Same thing with the ring.

He might want you to have a solitaire b/c that''s what he likes but once you get the ring of your dreams and he sees your face light up and sees how much you adore it, any little twang of (but I like solitaires) will fly right out the window.

 

[Still_Waiting]

Oh, WOW!!! I totally love it too! Would you mind telling me how much you were quoted for the setting for that puppy? It''s absolutely stunning.

And to respond to your post...I''m not sure that I quite understand. SO told you you had free rein-within a certain budget-but you''re feeling guilty for wanting something you know he doesn''t really like? BUT, he says he just wants you to be happy...don''t you think he''d change his mind about not liking it once he sees how often you''re staring in complete awe at the beauty on your finger?

 

[purelily]

Gwendolyn First I wanted to say congratulations on your engagement! You and your FI are such a cute couple! Thank you for the time you put into thinking about my post. Yes, I agree. It will be less expensive if we get what I would like in the beginning. I feel a bit guilty because I've been showing him these other rings constantly that are completely different from what he likes then do a complete 180! now the poor guy's confused I hope the weather is nice in England and that your wedding planning is coming along nicely!


CKrickett Hi! Yes, you are right... he would be happy if he sees that I'm happy. I guess I've always been the compromising sort of person and I just feel like I should compromise on this too... but i think if i actually *made* a decision and said its it! for a long while, he would be relieved that I am not showing him tons of things

stillwaiting I think its so pretty too and they did great work. Winnie's a lucky lady I'm not sure I can say what Mark price quoted me, but I'm just going to say that its VERY reasonable. You should give Mark a call. He's a joy to talk to. If I get to talk to him again, I will ask him if I can give you the quote. Oh, and Mark's at Engagement Rings Direct Gotta run to a meeting!

 

[jaylex]

Date: 7/31/2009 8:07:39 AM
Author: ckrickett
At the end of the day YOU are the one wearing the ring, so you should be 100% happy. Now I usually say that if you have say a 10k budget and a girl goes and looks at 50k rings and then uses the above argument, well then that argument doesn't work (and she is being extremely disrespectful). But if he was like 'hey I want to make you happy here.... spend this much money and get the ring you love!' well then I think you shouldn't feel bad at all.
He said he prefers solitaires but you prefer micro-pave. Think about this say you love him to wear a certain type of shirt (like a crazy color like lavender) and he HATES that color but you love it. You go out and buy him a crazy expensive lavender shirt that you think will look dynamite on him. if he wears it but is unhappy or doesn't wear it at all, yes your feelings might be alittle hurt, but he is the one wearing it and ultimately that's were it really matters.Same thing with the ring.

He might want you to have a solitaire b/c that's what he likes but once you get the ring of your dreams and he sees your face light up and sees how much you adore it, any little twang of (but I like solitaires) will fly right out the window.

AHH! Exactly! Especially if he is expected to wear that lavender shirt every day for the rest of his life!

Who says you CAN'T compromise? Get the beautiful micro-pave ering you love, and for your band get a simple, no-fuss gold band with the look that he likes? Then you're both happy!

BF and I were in a similar situation.. He insisted on yellow gold but I didn't want my ring to "match" my FMIL or my mothers... we looked for yellow gold solitaires that I could "fall in love with" for 5 months.. In the end we decided on a custom rose gold solitaire with a yellow gold wrap! It's unique AND yellow and we both are in love with it! Everyone's happy! Plus everything else he has bought me has been white with a lil rose gold so it sorta fits in my "collection" lol.

BTW, winnie is beautiful! If she makes your heart sing, then thats what matters! Bf wouldn't buy a house that he was "just ok" with, if he could buy one he LOVED for around the same price, rite?

 

[ms.halo]

Oh gosh...if I only wore/bought what my husband wanted I''d be running around in $2 bras and undies and nothing else!

YOU are the one who has to wear this ring forever. Your FF will look at it only occasionally and then only in the first year or two. Get what you want, be strong in that decision and move on! If this was a house or car or something that was actually shared I would say compromise is in order. But erings are a gift and it''s for YOU!

 

[Pushin40]

I don''t think your BF would give you the go-aheadt to get a custom ring if he didn''t understand how you are feeling.

Let go of your guilt and get what you want!

 

[tlh]

who cares what he wants you to wear? my DH rides bicycles, and he''d be dam*ed if I picked out the bike he rode considering i know NOTHING about them... you''re going to wear this forever (unless you upgrade)... pick what you want...if you have carte blanche, it is because he wants you to wear what YOU want to wear... otherwise, he''d just pick out the solitare and propose with that. He didn''t... make you both happy. Trust me... not liking your ring will sting a lot worse than wearing one he didnt envision you in... PLUS... he''s not going to be looking at your ring... in 3 months.. it will basically be just another accessory (meaningful, but not like this huge let down of OMG she doesn''t have a solitare...)... I''m serious.

GET THE PAVE!

 

[Luckyeshe]

Purelily, I agree with everyone on here. See if he would go ring browsing with you. This time look at pave diamonds. Compare them with solitaires. Hopefully he''ll see that your face lights up more than when you look at solitaires. At that point, any man would be sold! When my FI and I first looked at rings we tried almost everything! Rounds, pears, princess, ovals, etc. I actually fell in love with asschers first and that''s what I wanted him to look at for me. At this point, I had seen a cushion halo with a friend, but I really wasn''t drawn to them. On the second day FI and I looked, we went into a store that had Henri Daussi and they only show them with Daussi cushions. We tried on 3 different Daussi''s and I literally started hyperventilating when I got to try Daussi #2. I couldn''t breathe. I couldn''t think. I turned red and I got hot all of a sudden! FI didn''t miss any of that! At that point, he knew that that was my ring. I was afraid of the cost since it''s a designer brand and I didn''t want him to break the bank. I flooded his inbox with other cheaper options that I would have been happy with aka settle for. So, in the long run (we only saw that ring that one time BM store sold it soon after---he wasn''t the one who bought it.) I kinda forgot the tiny details about the ring I loved so much and I was ok with having whatever he would have been able to pick out for me. But you know what...I never forgot the feeling. When he finally proposed and I saw that it was THE ring...I cried and couldn''t be happier. I would have been happy with anything he would have gotten me, but I was beyond ecstatic to get the ring of my dreams. Whenever I look at my ring, I''m reminded of that day I first saw it and how much my FI loves me because he took the time to acknowledge my reactions and he just wants me to be happy. And trust me, purelily, I''m very happy. What I''m trying to say is that you should feel like this when you see your ring. Since like me, you''re not getting an upgrade in the future. Do it right the first time and you won''t have any regrets.

I added this thread for you to check out since I know you''ll like it!

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/a-collection-of-halos.121549/

 

[mrscushion]

Congratulations! Your ring is gorgeous!

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 7/31/2009 11:49:25 AM
Author: purelily
Gwendolyn First I wanted to say congratulations on your engagement! You and your FI are such a cute couple! Thank you for the time you put into thinking about my post. Yes, I agree. It will be less expensive if we get what I would like in the beginning. I feel a bit guilty because I''ve been showing him these other rings constantly that are completely different from what he likes then do a complete 180! now the poor guy''s confused I hope the weather is nice in England and that your wedding planning is coming along nicely!

Thanks, sweetie, that''s very nice of you to congratulate us and ask about the planning (ugh, the planning

)! We''re doing well and making progress....slooowly...verrrry sloooooowly...

Seriously, get the ring you love. No matter how confused your honey may be, what you''re doing is easily explainable--"Honey, I thought my dream ring was way out of budget so I was trying to find rings that you''d like, but really, none of them are MY ring. This one is it, and I am bursting with excitement and my heart is all a-flutter because we can afford it! Hooray!!" Or something to that effect.

Just so you know, my current engagement ring in an heirloom--it was my great-grandmother''s, is about half a carat (maybe?), and is in a squared illusion setting with some smaller diamonds on either side of the center stone. It''s pretty, but there''s very little about it that''s my style. We are using it because we''re poor and want to use the money we would''ve spent on the ring on other things--immigration paperwork, the wedding(s), and a house, for starters. Eventually we will get my ring, but not for a few years. People think I am bonkers because I already have a perfectly fine ring that works as an engagement ring, plus for where we live (NW London area), it''s considered a big diamond. Why on EARTH would I ever want something else? Because this ring is NOT MY STYLE. Non-jewelry people don''t necessarily get it, but PSers should. I want my engagement ring to make my heart skip a beat because it is my dream ring, because it''s (in addition to my wedding band) the most important, most significant piece of jewelry I will ever own. Sometimes I look at my ring and sigh to myself, disappointed that our situation wasn''t different so that we could afford to get MY ring from the start. From the sound of things, you would probably feel that way about a solitaire that you chose to please your husband-to-be, instead of yourself.

And honestly, how much does he really care about the style of it? Asking, because I would bet it really doesn''t make that big of a difference to him. At the end of the day, you will wear it, and he wants to get you something you will love.

 

[Luckyeshe]

Date: 8/1/2009 10:16:26 AM
Author: gwendolyn

Seriously, get the ring you love. No matter how confused your honey may be, what you''re doing is easily explainable--''Honey, I thought my dream ring was way out of budget so I was trying to find rings that you''d like, but really, none of them are MY ring. This one is it, and I am bursting with excitement and my heart is all a-flutter because we can afford it! Hooray!!'' Or something to that effect.

And honestly, how much does he really care about the style of it? Asking, because I would bet it really doesn''t make that big of a difference to him. At the end of the day, you will wear it, and he wants to get you something you will love.

Purelily, not to sound redundant, but I second gwendolyn! If you can do it, get the one that you love!

 

[BlueSki231]

i am going to agree with everyone else and say go with what YOU want.
why would you *settle* for something that HE wants.. when you are going to be the one wearing it forever.

 

[LilyKat]

Provided it''s within your budget, get the one you want. Seriously. Your SO will never care about it half as much as you, because a) he''s a guy, and b) he won''t have to wear it and look at it all day for the rest of his life. He''ll get used to it, whereas you probably won''t.

 

[purelily]

Hi All Well, after much thinking I told my SO this is exactly what I wanted and that I hoped he didn't mind. He said, well, if you're sure. Its just totally different than what you've been saying. I told him that its because the places he's been taking me to, we couldn't afford to get the ring that I wanted.

He still doesn't understand why I would forego a .5 real HW solitaire for a custom-made HW replica. But I told him its the look I like, not the name. Plus, a diamond is a diamond and I can get the style and look I want for almost 2k less! I'm not okay with letting him spend that much. Plus, if he REALLY wants to get an HW we can get it for my wedding band

.

Now for individual responses
Jaylex Your rings sound so pretty! Please post them when you get them!
Ms. Halo lol about the $2 bras. My So is the opposite. I'd be running around in suits (so weird, but he likes it when i'm in a suit) hahaha.
Pushin40 Thanks! I will take the advice
tlh Lol. about the bikes. Its true. He really doesn't care about what ring i'm wearing. In fact, I think now he's thinking oh please just pick a ring so i dont have to get pictures anymore
Luckyeshe What a cute story! I am so happy you were able to get your dream ring! Sometimes, substitutions just dont work I am going to have to check out this Daussi Oh! And thank you so much for the halo link!!!

Mscushion Not engaged yet. it was actually going to be next week Sunday or Monday (don't ask how i know

, but since we are getting a ring custom made now he wants to wait for the ring to be done. The ring is actually Winnie's

Gwendolyn I understand waiting for the ring you want. You would like the Mark Morrell right? Mark is such a nice guy, I emailed him when I was looking at solitaires. I would agree that it is definitely worth the wait. My SO comes from the same school of thought. He's Russian and his parents grew up in the soviet era, he was in the tail end of it. He doens't understand the engagement ring concept, but thinks that a .5 is huge also.

When my parents were engaged, they couldn't afford an engagement ring. So, my dad bought my mom a .1 solitaire for less than a $100 on clearance (it even had someone else's name engraved!), because they couldn't afford it. When they finally could afford it, he bought her a 1 cart OMC with side stones which she gets complimented on whenever she wears it I think its a good idea to wait for exactly what you want but, at least for now, you have a beautiful ring too! the best of both worlds I'd say


Namaste and LilyKat So true.. he doesn't really care about rings or diamonds at all :-/But I think he likes the idea of getting a named brand... but I'd rather stay in budget

 

[junebug17]

Oh, thank goodness you are getting the style of ring you want!! You are going to be the one wearing it, it should a ring that you adore. I am really glad you spoke up, you won't regret it. I have to say, your FI sounds like my hubby about having the "real" thing and being into name brands, but who is going to know or care? You will have the ring of your dreams, that's what's important!

 

[susied]

Ohhhhhh, this is my dream ring too!
Go for it - you got the okay and it would be terrible to look at the other ring the rest of your life and think about what could have been

 

[NeverEndingUpgrade]

Definitely get it right the first time! This advice comes from someone who spent years wearing rings I didn't like before I finally took the plunge and bought MY ring or should I say rings (for myself, by myself). I've never been happier with a purchase!