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oh no, gf doesn''t like setting

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Atenay

Rough_Rock
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Oct 13, 2007
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Sorry in advance for the long post but I am stuck and I need advice!

I have a dilemma. I thought I had my whole plan figured out. I was going to spend my $2000 budget on a WF ACA or expert selection, hoping for about .5 carats or slightly bigger, and set it in the $500 WF 6 prong tiffany setting in platinum, because my girlfriend wants the platinum. My gf has been trying to be good about finding a ring she likes within our budget (we started out with a much bigger budget and our financial situation changed a little). We both agreed that the stone was the important thing and spending the majority of our money on a setting (she likes tiffany 6-prong replicas and the mark morrell sunburst) was a bad decision, but she still wants to stick w/plat.

So today she was almost in tears looking at pictures of the tiffany 6-prong from WF. She told me she can''t figure out why she doesn''t like it but she just feels like it''s not right. I''m afraid that no matter what she won''t be happy with it. She likes the equally inexpensive union diamond 6 prong setting, but we had already decided to stay away from them and they won''t sell me a setting separately. So as I see it now I have three options.

1. Stick with the WF plan and hope she likes the setting better in person or loves the diamond so much it doesn''t matter.

2. Spend more money on a tiffany replica from WF or superbcert and have less than $1000 to spend on the diamond, which will get me about 1/3 of a carat unless I severely compromise on quality (this is the same size I could get at the actually tiffany''s with this budget- I called and asked just to see). I hate this plan but this afternoon I
could see my gf was considering it.

3. Try to find a great diamond at Union, which will be harder but, ultimately, may be doable? I am not sure about that, but I would think it would just require some more sifting through what they have available. This way I still have about $1500 to spend on the diamond and my gf gets the setting she truly wants. I just worry that the diamond will be noticeably inferior to an ACA and, at least to me, that is the most important thing. I can''t wait to see that diamond
sparkling on my gf''s finger. But the setting is really important to her, so I am hoping I won''t have to sacrifice either.

Can I get some opinions about what is the best course of action? I hate to see my gf so upset over this and I don''t know enough about diamonds to know if I will be able to see a difference between an ACA and something else. I want to get her the setting she wants, but it is hard because I can barely tell the difference between the different settings (that is an exaggeration, but it really matters very little to me). You guys always give me such great advice, which option would you go with if it were you?
 
Does WF have a 4 prong setting that she likes or does it *have* to be 6 prong?
 
Do you have a pic of the setting that she really likes? Have you exhausted your search for a similar setting elsewhere?
 
My gf and I are both pretty set on a 6-prong. We have looked everywhere for a platinum 6-prong in our price range and these are about it. Any others are $1000 or more. There is one from adiamor for about the same price, but it looks similar to the WF one.

Here is the link to the WF setting (I don''t have a pic): http://www.whiteflash.com/Engagement-Rings/Styles/Solitaire/6-Prong-tiffany-style_993.htm

I am attaching a pic of the Union diamond setting, without a diamond. Kit''s engagement ring is this setting, but I don''t know if I am allowed to copy her pics w/o permission.

unionsetting3.jpg
 
What about a WF expert selection? And a different setting from WF?

One really lovely solitaire setting at WF is the Legato sleek line. It is unique and pretty, not 6-prong, but classic. It's $1050 in platinum.

Here are a couple of WF expert selection diamonds. The ES just barely missed the ACA mark, usually because of nitpicky details that would not detract from the beauty of the diamond. These are a great idea.

Here's an H VS2 1/2 carat for $1478 option one

Here's another, almost 1/2 carat F SI1 (apparently eye clean) for $1012 option two

If there's another viable setting at WF that she likes for less than the Legato, and/or you can stretch the budget a bit, here's an F VS1 .556 carat for $1929 option three

You really can't go wrong with an Expert Selection.


ETA: I'm now actually not sure if your total budget is $2k, or if that was for the diamond, with another $500 for the setting. Still, if it's $2k for the whole deal, seriously consider the Legato and option number 2. For what it's worth, I have a 4-prong setting, and think it makes my diamond look bigger.
 
Can you describe to WF what you don''t like about their setting and maybe they can modify it?
 
In option 2, what do you consider to be severely compromising on quality?

I''m pretty picky about the head/prongs of a solitaire and, from the pictures that you posted, think that I may have similar taste to your girlfriend. The Union diamond one is swoopier and more fluid looking. I love the swoopier look but am ambivalent about the other -- it just doesn''t do that much for me, personally. If it were me, I''d prefer the Tiffany replica from WF with a smaller diamond, possibly compromising some on quality -- i.e., SI instead of VS, slightly lower color, but still a great cut. At the same time, I know that others would feel differently. Honestly, I''d just talk to her and involve her in the decision. She is going to be the one wearing it, and she''s the one who can best evaluate what matters the most to her.
 
I would say the difference between the WF and the UD one is the way the shank (the thing that holds the diamond?) and the setting (that band that fits around the finger) comes together. I hope I am using these terms correctly.

The prongs on the WF setting are long and appear to come down to rest on the finger. The edges also appear a bit harder, not as rounded. And the setting is a knife edge.

The UD shank sits on top of the setting. The prongs appear to be more rounded, but I think it's the photography as I think this one also looks more knife edge.

The Tiffany setting seems to be a combination of both of the above. The shank seems to sit about halfway on the width of the setting. The knife edge appears to still be there, but the prongs seem to be more rounded, but still maintaining a squarish look.

My best guess at what she dislikes just by looking at the images only is that she likes the roundedness of the Tiffany and Mark Morrell, and dislikes the hard edges on the prongs.

I agree with DeeJay that you should see what WF can do for you...
 
Is there any way you can talk your gf into white gold instead? Does she really know what to expect with platinum? Platinum does not hold the shine, it looks duller over time and gets abrasions. White gold is shinier to start with and stays that way. It can be touched up with rhodium at any time to make it look brand new.

The way I''m seeing it, she may want to upgrade sometime down the road (at an anniversary maybe?), and she could at that time go for a larger stone and a nicer platinum (MWM?) setting. It just doesn''t seem to make much sense trying to get both the expensive setting and a great diamond at this stage, within a strict budget. I would put as much money as possible into the diamond and as little as possible into the setting for now.
 
Since you''re on a smaller budget.. you might want to consider white gold instead of platinum at this time. What is more important to your gf? Having platinum or having closer to a nice .50ct stone? If you go with platinum, the diamond shrinks, if you go with wg, you can acheive your goal of closer to .50ct.
 
I think I see why your fiance likes the Union diamond setting better. It is closer to the tiffany look. Frankly I like it better too. Why did you rule out Union Diamond, if I may ask? Do they not have any good diamonds in your range? I never bought from them but I did shop them by telephone and they seemed nice and helpful.

I hope you can resolve the dilemma. I think it would be too bad if you had to go with the Excel Supercert and have it consume most of your budget. Not that is it is a bad setting, it''s a great setting, but I think the budget should go more to the diamond than to the setting.
 
If she likes the Union Diamond setting the most, I'd look for a good UD diamond. You might have to sift a little longer, but it'll be worth it. Know the numbers you're looking for, find diamonds within your price range that have these numbers (though limited on UDs website), and inquire about them.

It looks as though Union Diamond has a 30 day return policy, so find a diamond you're confident about. See if it's pleasing to the eye, and if it is, that's all that really matters.

I have a GIA EX cut with VG polish and symmetry, and it's a gorgeous diamond. Full of fire and scintillation, with a 1.2 on the HCA. I just ordered a AGS Ideal diamond for a pendant, and I honestly can't see the difference between my EX and my ID stones in terms of performance. As long as you know the stone has an excellent cut and it sparkles like crazy, it doesn't have to be ideal.
 
For example, here's a stone worth checking out from Union Diamond. It's in budget, and it's an AGS ID/ID (Ideal):

.50 ct H, SI1 AGS ID/ID $1341
 
Blenheim - ha ha, you took the word right out of my mouth - "swoopier" is just what I was thinking and that''s my taste too.
1.gif
 
Maybe you should just go to Tiffany & Co.?

When I went, they had a 1/3 ct, G color, vvs2 clarity diamond (looked bigger than it sounds), platinum setting, for just under $2000.

Plus, if your financial situation changes, you can upgrade the diamond there.
 
Superbcert has a palladium version of their Tiffany replica... has she seen that one?
 
Thanks so much for all of your replies! We''ve looked at other WF settings but she is pretty set on tiffany-like settings. We''ve also considered the stuller solstice, everything on the pearlman''s and james allen websites and basically searched the corners of the earth looking, haha. We decided against tiffany mostly because we could get more bang for the buck somewhere else, which may not be true anymore. But I hate not having very many diamonds to choose from and in general I hate the idea of overpaying for what I am getting there. Still, it is what she wanted originally, so maybe I should think about that? But there is a noticeable size difference between 1/3 and 1/2 carats, right? I don''t want the diamond to look impossibly tiny on her hand.

In terms of what I consider a "quality" diamond, I basically want it eyeclean, G-J color (although I''d prefer a G or H), and I really don''t want to change those parameters. So the only thing I have to work with then is size. We won''t be upgrading for awhile, so doing a sort of "temporary setting" was something we considered and decided not to. She actually likes that platinum gets gray, she says the patina looks beautiful and "antiquey" (I think she''s nuts).

The reason we weren''t going with UD was because people have had issues with the quality of their diamonds, being told something was eyeclean when it wasn''t, and some other bad reviews here. I think I have enough knowledge at this point to weed out the bad diamonds, my only concern is that the final product perform well, so it is still an option, I am just proceeding with caution on that front.

I talked with whiteflash about having the prongs shaved down, but I don''t think that will alter the character of the setting, the way the head connects to the shank and the entire look of the prongs.
 
Now I am really confused. Is there a setting she solidly likes anywhere but Tiffany? If so, I''ll bet you can find a pretty diamond there--you just have to be very specific with your definition of eye-clean.........

Do you just think that she wants Tiffany?
 
sorry for being unclear! she solidly likes the superbcert replica, the WF replica, and the union diamond setting also. Anything that has that classic tiffany look, which is mostly about the way the head connects to the shank I think, and then the fact that there are really fluid lines. She just isn''t fond of many other types of settings, the WF legato for instance, or the 6-prong I was going to go with. she doesn''t care about the name, just the look of it. I guess my biggest dilemma is- is she wrong about the setting and will we both regret going with a more expensive setting and a smaller diamond, especially since we probably won''t be upgrading anytime in the forseeable future? I think in the long run she would rather have a .50 or .60 ct stone instead of .3-ish. People do seem to like the UD setting better, and that''s the place I would go to attempt to have my cake and eat it too. But how big a difference in size is there between 1/2 and 1/3? That may factor a lot into my final decision. Even in a 1/3 size stone, I get the impression here that a 1/3 ct ACA will outperform a 1/3 ct tiffany''s diamond.
 
Yes, she will regret it in time. Just my opinion, but I''ve experienced it myself (I started with a .26 for 25 years!), and have seen it here time and time again.
 
Just a thought but your girlfriend wants a ring and knows that you are on a budget. Is it possible she can go with a 6 prong in white gold with a bigger diamond and maybe in a year have it reset when financials are better for you. When I got engaged I knew that we could not afford a ring so I just wore a simple cheap diamond band that we purchased and when we had the money about 2 years later I got a brand new set with a 3/4 ct ideal diamond and a 1 ct band to match. I am a picky person and can understand because I will pick stuff apart and be bothered by it really bad but sometime we have to settle because we have no other option. Well good luck!
 
My 2-cents worth--Go with the bigger diamond and spend less on the setting. I started out with a .24 ct. round which I traded for a .36 marquise. I was never happy with either. A .50 ct. set in white gold is a great start and the setting can be changed out later.

Have you tried www.goodoldgold.com for diamonds and settings?
 
On your question - a 1/3 carat round usually has about a 4.4-4.5 mm diameter. A 1/2 carat, 5-5.2 mm. Will that be a noticeable difference? Probably yes. The difference between a 1/2 carat at up to 5.2 mm and a 1 carat at 6.2-6.5 mm (about 1 mm difference) is definitely noticeable, I''ve tried two rings of 1/2 and 1 carat on top of each other on the same finger to get a sense.

Another thought - I agree that you should purchase online for the best value. That said, has she tried on some different styles of settings? Because she seems preoccupied with the profile view of the setting. I''ve worn a ring for 13 years, and I almost never see it in complete profile - it''s on my hand. At most, I see it at a slight angle, unless I''m trying to see the profile. Mostly what I see is the table or face of the diamond. Maybe if she gets some different settings on her hand, she''ll feel more comfortable with having a larger diamond that she''ll spend most of her time looking at.

Also, keep in mind that the heavy prongs are standard, stock settings, which most people in the world have. The "scoopier," fancier settings come with a higher price for a reason. She may have champagne tastes on a diet cola budget. I hate to suggest this, but she knows your budget, and knows that it''s not possible to get a "scoopy" platinum setting with a 1/2 carat diamond, and it doesn''t seem like she''s coming up with options, just being sad. Maybe she does not want to be engaged right now. Maybe, in a few months, you will have put aside more money for the ring. These are issues you should discuss. I''ve been married a long time, money is the number one thing that married couples fight about, and this situation is not going to be the first time she''ll want something that the two of you cannot afford to have, so it''s best to see if and how it can be resolved.
 
Date: 12/5/2007 9:30:58 AM
Author: wen104
sometime we have to settle because we have no other option.
Click to expand...

One other thing - the sad fact is that diamond shopping is not some romantic, fairy tale experience. Every one of us has a budget, and for most people in the world, their eyes are bigger than their budget. It absolutely will be a series of trade-offs for you - size, color, clarity, and, yes, setting. There will always be someone out there with some thing, be it a diamond or whatever, that is bigger, better, newer, shinier, and way more expensive than what you have. You can be realistic about what is possible and keep in perspective that you''re more fortunate than, frankly, most of the planet if you''re on your computer shopping for diamonds. Or you can be sad and feel victimized that you can''t have the pretty things other people have.

The best way to deal is to identify what one thing is your bottom line (that is one thing) which you must have, and arrange everything else around it. I think it does not make sense to have the setting be your bottom line, but make sure your gf knows that she can''t have it all, and if the setting is the bottom line, then compromises will be made with the diamond (which, after all, is more durable and should be a bigger investment). It''s unlikely she''ll have the setting forever, but lots of people do keep the diamond forever. Anyway, I guess lay out the realities and let her pick. Options seem to be (1) great setting with smaller stone, (2) great stone with white gold less fancy setting (with possible upgrade of the setting in the future), and (3) wait awhile to get engaged.
 
Atenay, did you see the AGS ideal .50 ct diamond I posted from Union Diamond? It's an SI1, and if it isn't eye-clean, you can send it back.

She likes the Union Diamond setting, it's half what the other vendors are charging, and you still have a budget that can buy you a nice half-carat diamond. Why consider a setting she doesn't like or a smaller diamond when you get her both things she wants?
 
So she likes the WF custom Tiffany setting (the elaineh one?), but it''s out of budget, right? And she does not like the WF standard Tiffany setting, which is in budget? In fact, looking at it she started crying in frustration because she can''t bring herself to love it? Have I got that right? Please don''t buy the girl a setting that made her start crying!!!

Now, she does like the Union Diamond Tiffany setting? Well then:

Date: 12/5/2007 12:42:05 PM
Author: EBree
Atenay, did you see the AGS ideal .50 ct diamond I posted from Union Diamond? It''s an SI1, and if it isn''t eye-clean, you can send it back.


She likes the Union Diamond setting, it''s half what the other vendors are charging, and you still have a budget that can buy you a nice half-carat diamond. Why consider a setting she doesn''t like or a smaller diamond when you get her both things she wants?
Click to expand...

Is it that you are determined not to buy from Union Diamond? As an alternative, could you agree to buy the WF standard Tiffany setting for now and upgrade it to the WF custom Tiffany setting in a year or two?
 
I''d go with white gold. Platinum looks beat up after a short time, and having it polished costs $25. White gold stays shiny, but will need a new rhodium plating every 18 mo or so, about $20. But she''d want the platinum shined more often, and when they do it, they have to remove the top layer if they''re going to do it right. A lot of maintanance and expense. I''d go with white gold and get a bigger rock. I noticed the UD setting was $195.
 
I say put your money into the diamond, get a simpler, cheaper setting (maybe even white gold????) and she can reset it later on when your financial situation is better.

that''s what I would do.
 
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