off topic question

[munibanker]

Hi ladies, I posted here a few weeks ago and need your opinions. my girlfriend and i broke up about 3 weeks ago, we were going through counseling to try to work things out but she ended up seeing another guy during that time and i decided to end things.

well, i just found out from one of my friends that this guy has a track record of dating like 3 girls at a time, being a player, etc. my friend knows this b/c her friend is friends with the dude that my ex is now seeing. i want to tell my ex but not sure if its a good idea, what do ya''ll think?

pros: my ex won''t be hurt later,

cons: ex won''t believe me,

this guy is friends with her brother (through work), if i don''t tell her should i tell her brother (we''re pretty close, although we haven''t talked since the breakup) or should i just let it go???

Thx in advance.

 

[~*Alexis*~]

I would tell the brother and see what he says. I would let him know that you still care about his sister and whatnot but let him know that it is for her own good and not to get back together with her at all. See what he says. Then the ball is in his court not yours.

 

[janinegirly]

I would say it''s not really your business anymore and getting involved is only going to drudge up old feelings and thoughts. Even if someone tells her this, she''s not going to necessarily listen...we girls tend to go through the "bad boy" phase and no words of wisdom help! And also, you need to look out for yourself. Take time to heal and build yourself up and meet new people! It''s not a time to look back and get involved in your ex''s drama. I wouldn''t even bother knowing who she''s with, what they''re like..it''s all pointless and will hold you back. Good luck and i''m glad you stuck around these boards..

 

[decodelighted]

I know your intentions are good ... and it says a lot about your character that you still want her to be happy - so soon after a difficult breakup!

BUT ....

I kinda think you should stay out of it. It is possible the relationship is real & the guy isn''t playing around etc. My sister''s husband was "a player" ... right up until the day he met her. He called a HANDFUL of other chicks and said - "I''m off the market". She was even FIXED up with him by a guy who liked her in the HOPES this guy would break her heart, leave her wounded & vulnerable so HE could swoop in & "save the day". HA! Backfire!

Also ... I don''t think the info would do much good ... "consider the source". She''d find out it was coming from you & THINK you''re trying to sabotage even if you AREN''T! She''d still end up hurt (if he does have bad intentions) ... and you won''t even get the "I told you so" credit.

 

[KimberlyH]

muni:

I think you need not say and word and ask your friends to stop telling you about what she is doing, who she is seeing etc. It's really not good for you. She made the choice to be with someone else, while it's painful and sad and he may very well be all wrong for her it's her choice. Hearing through the grapevine (and knowing you're part of the chain of information) or directly from you that he's a player isn't going to stop her from seeing him. She needs to deal with her own stuff, including dating guys that are wrong for her. I'm sure this is painful for you, so take good care of yourself instead of worrying about her.

 

[munibanker]

thanks for the comments. i was thinking the same thing... well i''m heading to nyc to return the ring this weekend. thanks for everyone''s advice over the past month.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

Hi! I''m chiming in late here, but if this guy is friends with your ex''s brother, the brother probably knows how the guy operates. It would be better if your ex hears it from her brother.