Now That We’re in a Pandemic, Do You Have Any Regrets?

[Cerulean]

I regret planning a wedding for this year. I regret all of hours and effort I spent on planning a perfect day, the money saved and spent. My wedding is scheduled in mid September. I am fairly sure that we will have to cancel. I am not comfortable even rebooking yet...the idea of rescheduling, only to cancel again, sounds too painful to imagine and I know two people who are going through it right now.

I work in healthcare technology and have to do COVID-19 research as a part of my job. I am not convinced that even if the the government mandates are lifted, that I will feel comfortable asking my international friends and family (many of whom have significant chronic illnesses, including 3/4 parents) to expose themselves to COVID-19 by attending our wedding. The only assurance I can imagine is if there is a vaccine, which I don’t expect to happen for 1-2 years. I’d never forgive myself if anyone got sick. I’ve already known someone who died - and at the very least, I can avoid a deeper regret (getting someone sick) and sacrifice the wedding. But still, I feel a deep sorrow and anger at that being stolen from me. I don’t even want words about the virus poisoning the day. I’d like a celebration of love to be as far away from this time as possible, but it might be beyond my control.

I also regret booking a Honeymoon in rural France. I regret declining trip insurance on all counts because I thought to myself - I’d either be dead or there’d be an apocalypse- the only way I can imagine not going. Here we are! We are not planning on going anymore.

We still plan on getting married the day we planned. It may just be us. If courts are closed, we may just walk to a nearby park and exchange vows. And come hell or high water...I am wearing my dress. One regret I don’t have...is choosing the person I did, and I know that’s what matters the most.

 

[missy]

I regret planning a wedding for this year. I regret all of hours and effort I spent on planning a perfect day, the money saved and spent. My wedding is scheduled in mid September. I am fairly sure that we will have to cancel. I am not comfortable even rebooking yet...the idea of rescheduling, only to cancel again, sounds too painful to imagine and I know two people who are going through it right now.

I work in healthcare technology and have to do COVID-19 research as a part of my job. I am not convinced that even if the the government mandates are lifted, that I will feel comfortable asking my international friends and family (many of whom have significant chronic illnesses, including 3/4 parents) to expose themselves to COVID-19 by attending our wedding. The only assurance I can imagine is if there is a vaccine, which I don’t expect to happen for 1-2 years. I’d never forgive myself if anyone got sick. I’ve already known someone who died - and at the very least, I can avoid a deeper regret (getting someone sick) and sacrifice the wedding. But still, I feel a deep sorrow and anger at that being stolen from me. I don’t even want words about the virus poisoning the day. I’d like a celebration of love to be as far away from this time as possible, but it might be beyond my control.

I also regret booking a Honeymoon in rural France. I regret declining trip insurance on all counts because I thought to myself - I’d either be dead or there’d be an apocalypse- the only way I can imagine not going. Here we are! We are not planning on going anymore.

We still plan on getting married the day we planned. It may just be us. If courts are closed, we may just walk to a nearby park and exchange vows. And come hell or high water...I am wearing my dress. One regret I don’t have...is choosing the person I did, and I know that’s what matters the most.

I am so sorry your wedding plans were affected. I am glad you are going ahead and marrying the love of your life on that day though and it is selfless of you to not want to risk the well being of your friends and family. Kudos to you for knowing what is important and for making it work despite Covid 19. Wishing you a happy wedding day (maybe you can do it while streaming online for your friends and family?) and a very happy and healthy future together. You have your head on straight and indeed you do know what matters most. (((Hugs))).

 

[Ariadne_Theia]

I am moving at the end of May to a new state. My husband and I put off some of the things we wanted to do before we left: go to the beach, go to a particular restaurant, etc. We figured we had the whole spring to finish up what we wanted to do before we left. Nope!

Now I am wishing we would have gone in February when we had time.

I also wish I had spent the extra money to book a refundable rate for the hotel for our birthdays/graduation trip. The hotel is closed through our travel dates and we won't have time to go this year and use any travel credits. I swear, I am booking refundable rates for hotels/airlines everytime after this. Learned my lesson.

 

[yennyfire]

Regret? Not really. If I could go back to 3/13 when we started quarantining, I’d choose to do so with my sister and her family, just for the company and companions for the kids (I exclude my parents because we still couldn’t be near them since my Dad is immune compromised and my sister and I are the ones doing the grocery shopping).

 

[737liz]

I regret not travelling more. I travel for pleasure at least 6 times a year, but most are for short weekend breaks to a European city. There are so many far flung places that I want to see, and although prices are cheap now, I doubt travel will ever be as easy or affordable as it has been this past decade.

Also regret not being married to my partner: I chose to be perpetually engaged instead. I bought a dress, came up with a guest list, and then decided phooey to it all. I didn't want to pay the higher tax rate that a combined household income would incur. We are rectifying that with a courthouse wedding asap. Should the worst happen to one of my parents, I want him (a Brit)to be able to fly to the states with me.

 

[Cerulean]

I am so sorry your wedding plans were affected. I am glad you are going ahead and marrying the love of your life on that day though and it is selfless of you to not want to risk the well being of your friends and family. Kudos to you for knowing what is important and for making it work despite Covid 19. Wishing you a happy wedding day (maybe you can do it while streaming online for your friends and family?) and a very happy and healthy future together. You have your head on straight and indeed you do know what matters most. (((Hugs))).

Really sweet of you. Trying to stay focused and remember what is most important...but also allowing myself to cry as much as I want! The video streaming is a fun idea.

 

[TooPatient]

I don't have any regrets exactly. The things that I am struggling with are things that were either completely out of my control or are because of choices I made that I still don't regret.

An example being my back as I am awake now (1:30am) due to pain. My surgery was in December and I wasn't cleared to start PT until the middle of January -- just in time for a strike at the medical center I go to. I could have chosen to go elsewhere, but I wasn't comfortable with the other options I looked at. I also could have chosen to schedule with them as soon as they were back from the strike, but I chose to leave my schedule open so I could coordinate and be along with DH as he got current in an activity that means the world to him. An added benefit there was my grandfather and cousin got to come with us for an event and the day was a super special memory for all of us that I wouldn't trade for anything. The COVID-19 thing was just getting active in our area by that point and I got super sick that special day as soon as we got home. I was sick until after orders for everything to lock down tight.
So, not really a regret so much as an I wish it had worked out a little differently.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

i wish i had gone to see Bruce Springsteen in America in 2016 for the river anniversary shows
i own every one of those shows on mp3 so i know how great they were
mum was in the late stages of dementia at the time and everything was too hard
but goodness knows what air fares to the States are going to cost once Air NZ resumes the new normal

 

[jeaniefish]

Since I'm so old, I regret living long enough to go through this garbage.

I could have been feeding the maggots last year and still have had a long & wonderful life.

Seriously Kenny? You must be joking , right? I know you have a wicked sense of humor. Don't you have someone who would miss you terribly if you were gone?
I’ll bet I’m older than you and I feel that every day I still get to be here is a gift, no matter what I’m facing.

 

[lambskin]

Using the quarantine to really blow my diet. I have gained back quite a few pounds I lost since May 2019 when I started.I am getting back on it on my bday in early May.

 

[missy]

i wish i had gone to see Bruce Springsteen in America in 2016 for the river anniversary shows
i own every one of those shows on mp3 so i know how great they were
mum was in the late stages of dementia at the time and everything was too hard
but goodness knows what air fares to the States are going to cost once Air NZ resumes the new normal

There will be other Bruce Springsteen concerts @Daisys and Diamonds and when they’re in my hometown I’ll show you around! Sweeter times will return.