Now my SO may have cancer too

[kenny]

WTF!



In his right kidney a CT scan just found two things, a tumor and a 'mass'.
I'm not sure which, but one is 2", and he doesn't want me there talking to his doctors.
HE says I ask too many questions use what I learn to nag him or take control of his diet and health care and insurance decisions, and that stresses him out.
Two inches is large to be inside a kidney.
My SO says it wasn't there a few months ago when he had his last CT scan, so it's aggressive.
We fear it's cancer, but more test to come.

He didn't need this.

His mom has been battling kidney cancer for a few years now.
Over the last few years she has had her kidneys gradually cut away, to remove cancer.
Today she has one quarter of one kidney left.
If/when that's gone, it's dialysis.

WTF

 

[siamese3]

I'm so sorry to hear this Kenny. Too much bad news. Life comes at you hard, sometimes. It really can suck. What a total bummer. I will hope for the best possible news for you both.

 

[cmd2014]

Oh crap, Kenny. I'm so sorry. You guys have been through so much already.

 

[kenny]

Thanks.
I know I said I don't want to talk about this, but today it was just such a shock.
I felt like if I didn't tell someone I'd explode.

I need some wine.

 

[arkieb1]

I'm sorry I hope that it is something they can treat.

 

[ringo865]

Kenny, I am really sorry about your SO and this news. It is too bad that he will not allow you to listen to his doctors. Because then he can take only what he wants to hear from them and you are none the wiser (to help him). I'm sorry that he's going through this, but I'm more sorry that you are going through this. Please take care of yourself throughout all of this.

 

[kenny]

Thanks.

I think the reason I have difficulty discussing this here is all your good and helpful suggestions.
I can't act on them.
If he found out they came from Internet friends he'd REALLY resent and resist them.

He's a proud & stubborn latino man.

 

[MollyMalone]

Oh, kenny, it's no wonder you are reeling. Our hearts go out to you and your SO.

I need some wine.

For you, wine AND pie!

 

[AGBF]

I wish you good news, kenny. I hope it is not as bad as it appears now. It may be too much information, but I have so many cysts on my kidneys that I need procedures for doctors to see where there is any kidney! So far no malignancy. I hope your SO has similar luck.

Deb

 

[cmd2014]

Thanks.

I think the reason I have difficulty discussing this here is all your good and helpful suggestions.
I can't act on them.
If he found out they came from Internet friends he'd REALLY resent and resist them.

He's a proud & stubborn latino man.

Well, let us just offer moral support then. I do hope they turn out to be cysts as Deb has suggested. If not, many shoulders lighten the load.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Kenny
Sorry to hear this news about your SO. hopping for the best!

 

[Matata]

I'm sad to hear you and SO are facing another health challenge. If you can't put the wisdom offered here into practice for your SO, please exercise that wisdom for yourself -- take care of you, remember to breathe, try to find/do something that helps you reduce your stress, vent here whenever you want to. Gentle hugs.

 

[katharath]

When it rains, it pours. I'm sorry things have been so rough, and I'll hope for the best for your SO (and for you!). Come vent to us when you need to; sometimes just being heard is such a relief.

 

[BlingDreams]

I'm very sorry to hear this Kenny. Feel free to vent away. Situations like this are often just as hard (if not harder!) on the caregiver as they are the patient.

 

[derbygal]

Kenny, you and your SO have been on my mind the last few months. So sorry to hear this. We are here for you!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I am very sorry to hear this. You are both in my thoughts.

 

[AnnaH]

Was wondering about him and sorry to hear what could be bad news. Best wishes.

 

[jordyonbass]

I'm so sorry to hear this Kenny, Katharath beat me to it but I will still say that sometimes when it rains it really pours down.

Wishing you and yours all the best, you guys need a vacation as soon as SO is healthy enough!

 

[monarch64]

Damn it. I hate to hear this. Wishing you strength to deal with what's to come.

 

[MJ_Mac]

Oh Kenny, I am so sorry you're both going through this. Let's hope it is benign. You are an incredible partner to your SO. Sending you virtual hugs across the miles.

 

[PintoBean]

Kenny we are always here for you! ️

 

[Queenie60]

Take care of yourself Kenny - that much you do have control over. Yes, you need some wine and if I lived closer to you I would buy you a nice bottle! My thoughts and prayers go out to you. Take care. We're here for your venting.

 

[LLJsmom]

I'm so sorry Kenny... hugs...

 

[rainwood]

I'm so sorry, Kenny. This must be unbearably hard.

 

[Arkteia]

Very sorry. Best wishes.

 

[missy]

Kenny, I am so sorry. Keeping you and your SO in my thoughts.

 

[CJ2008]

kenny

I feel for you and for him.

And keep asking for what you need - or don't need - from us. We'll do our best to give it to you.

Hugs.

 

[rainydaze]

Geez louise. I'm sorry Kenny.

 

[Arcadian]

Kenny sometimes when it rains, is a damn flood. I'm very sorry you and he are going through this. ((massive hugs))

 

[ksinger]

I so understand the never seeming to be able to catch a breath before the next health-related body blow, either to someone you love, or to yourself. But you're having to deal with your SO being in denial, making it exponentially harder. I am so sorry you and he are going through this. I truly wish there was some way to make it less stressful and upsetting.