Now I really did it :((

[MamaBee]

I have to apologize for not posting on here. I’ve been on Pricescope but mainly for short reads and responses. I’m having a really hard time with my mother. We had just arrived in Maryland this Friday...I was holding the dog with the leash... David was right there and my mom in the middle trying to open the door jamming all her keys in the lock. I told her I would open it..We were at a bottleneck all in front of the door. All of a sudden she yelled, “Don’t push me!” She gets off balance so I think everyone in that one spot caused her to feel a bump..I had just purchased her a cane which I and our doctor had to convince her to get because she’s so unstable on her feet. The only thing I could think of was one of us gently bumped her..It just about crushed me because I would never push her. I’ve been taking care of her for ten years now...and she treats me like I’m her servant...Now she accuses me of pushing her. I’m so sick of it all..really. If I had the nerve I would put her in a nursing home but I feel I went this long...I should just keep plugging along...but I’m not going to be accused of senior abuse. I reasoned with her and she said she was sorry...but she’s frightening...She loves attention and if she starts accusing me of doing things to her I’m going to have to put her in a nursing home. I have too much at stake with having David with me. I love my mother but I don’t like her. I feel like crying...I’m so upset because I pretty much gave up my last ten years so she wouldn’t be in a home. I just don’t feel appreciated...and it hurts...Thanks for listening...and sorry to be a Debbie Downer...This is one of many episodes I’ve had with her lately..but not like this...

 

[marcy]

Hi NIRDI’s!

Bling Dream; sweet that you’ve picked the date in December and venue! What day did you pick? I like both of your options for ceremony and dinner/reception. I am having fun hearing about your plans.

Kate, I hope you aren’t in too much pain and hate to think you have to wait to see about your jaw after you move. My mouth hurts with you. How nice to take care of folding clothes while watching one of your favorite shows. Marty adored Dr. Who; he had me knit him a super long scarf. Good luck packing. It gets rough towards the end when you are down to what I can’t pack until the last minute and then you keep thinking of something you need that’s already packed. Great idea to stop in Brooklyn to visit the family on your way to Texas and nice you’ve got a place rented already. How cool you’ll be cooking Thanksgiving in Texas this year. A 7 carat diamond bracelet would be awesome.

Daisys and DIamonds, I am sorry NZ lost in the rugby semi finals. Come on by for tacos. They are one of my favorite meals plus easy to cook. Sorry to hear Dr Who gives you the spooks. I used to read all sorts of scary books and watch scary movies; they never bothered me at all. Now I can’t sleep thinking about them. I remember when we got surround sound it took me a while to get over thinking there was something behind me because I’d hear noise back there.

Mamabean, I am so sorry to hear about the incident with your Mom. As harsh as this may sound I notice that once someone has to give up their independence they have a hard time accepting their new reality; so it seems like one of their defense mechanisms is they become very selfish. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to put her in a nursing home but that is a decision you have to make for yourself and then let the chips fall where they may. You have a LOT on your plate already and you have to do what’s right for you. My dad was my mom’s care giver for 4 to 5 years and the last few years were really tough on him. She would fall a lot, she quit bathing, she drove far longer than she should, she was incontinent, and all of it took a major toll on him. His doctor finally insisted he take one day a week and go do something for himself. She totally guilted him in to not putting her in a nursing home yet before she got to the point where she needed assistance she would never have wanted any of us to give up our every day lives to take care of her. Big hugs to you.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

oh dear @Mamabean how horribly for you
how long as your mom been on her own - i mean without your dad ?
i know you have been just the best daughter you would ever be for your mom and its heart breaking you don't feel the love back

how ever it is a real worry about elder abuse - both for genuine victims but also for close relatives wrongly accused
when my mum was in the demetia care facility (a very good one) she was having the odd fall and had tereible bruises and she would tell us people were hurting her - which thankfully was not true - just her demetia being very unkind and i think back and i think how dreadful if mum really thought this ?
anyway my aunty and cousin saw the bruises and raised merry hell about it - again which was good but was also bad
i found it terrible upsetting my mother was telling lies but also really upsetting that perhaps she actually beleaved what she was saying
how are your mom's marbles ?

care facilities do give you peace of mind but IMHO they accentuate the demise
one's loved one might be feed and clean but their mind gets less and less use

its a really hard call but it has to also be about what's best for you and David
its your life too

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

oh @marcy that's so sad about your mum and dad too
my mum used to say she never wanted to end up like grandma but it was so much worse
how do we make sure we don't become selfish in our own old age?

 

[AV_]

@Mamabean There can only be so many beans in a pod. I have only met one person ever inclined to give rage for thanks - age took the veneer off that, possibly it having been a great burden; if there is one, there must be another ,(

@Tekate The same Brooklin @missy keeps talking about? I must be thinking of house too - I've been renting, trying things out [think, box of candy]. It is fun & does make sense for now.

@marcy @Daisys and Diamonds Gardening - is my sport, I end up doing a few days of spint - digging, climbing, cutting & eating & sleeping after like there's no tomorrow; it is all very relaxing, much better than working out which is just a small routine just good enough to keep muscles pulling on bones. I am certainly going to make that bonfire happy when it comes to it, one way or another; it is so rare that I get to cook anything on an open fire - it's been years!

-

Have a great week, anyone who is reading! & NIRDIs twice.

 

[missy]

GM girls! How did Monday get here so darn fast? Last weekend in October gone. OMG November is almost here. OK deep breaths. I can handle this. In fact cmon next Spring. Get here already. LOL sorry to hurry life away but I would very much like to get these next few months over and done with and start Spring already.

The same Brooklin @missy keeps talking about?

Yup, and we are not going to be there Dear @Tekate Kate the Great I am sorry we are missing you and next time (hopefully) it's a date. Kate the Great we will have our date.

Gardening - is my sport, I end up doing a few days of spint - digging, climbing, cutting & eating & sleeping after like there's no tomorrow; it is all very relaxing, much better than working out which is just a small routine just good enough to keep muscles pulling on bones. I am certainly going to make that bonfire happy when it comes to it, one way or another; it is so rare that I get to cook anything on an open fire - it's been years!

Sounds wonderful and a great way to keep in shape and keep things beautiful and oh I love a bonfire. Smells so darn good. Smoky delicious.

I have to apologize for not posting on here. I’ve been on Pricescope but mainly for short reads and responses. I’m having a really hard time with my mother. We had just arrived in Maryland this Friday...I was holding the dog with the leash... David was right there and my mom in the middle trying to open the door jamming all her keys in the lock. I told her I would open it..We were at a bottleneck all in front of the door. All of a sudden she yelled, “Don’t push me!” She gets off balance so I think everyone in that one spot caused her to feel a bump..I had just purchased her a cane which I and our doctor had to convince her to get because she’s so unstable on her feet. The only thing I could think of was one of us gently bumped her..It just about crushed me because I would never push her. I’ve been taking care of her for ten years now...and she treats me like I’m her servant...Now she accuses me of pushing her. I’m so sick of it all..really. If I had the nerve I would put her in a nursing home but I feel I went this long...I should just keep plugging along...but I’m not going to be accused of senior abuse. I reasoned with her and she said she was sorry...but she’s frightening...She loves attention and if she starts accusing me of doing things to her I’m going to have to put her in a nursing home. I have too much at stake with having David with me. I love my mother but I don’t like her. I feel like crying...I’m so upset because I pretty much gave up my last ten years so she wouldn’t be in a home. I just don’t feel appreciated...and it hurts...Thanks for listening...and sorry to be a Debbie Downer...This is one of many episodes I’ve had with her lately..but not like this...

Aww Joanne, sending you big hugs and love across the internet. I am so sorry honey. You are the best DD a mom could hope for and she does not deserve you. I wish I could make it all better. I don't know what to say. Well I do but you wouldn't appreciate it probably. I would put her in a nursing home where she can be cared for and not upset you and make your life so challenging but I know you aren't comfortable doing that and I respect your decision. Just so upset for you sweet Joanne. Hugs and good wishes to you and we are here for you any time of day or night. ((((HUGS)))). And please take care of yourself! Please. And no need to apologize here ever. We are here for you whenever you need and want us to be and no need to feel you have to post or even keep up. XOXO. Stress free zone.

@Tekate bittersweet indeed. I cannot imagine how hard it is leaving your cherished home. Yay for the buyers loving your kitchen. And painting is the easiest and least invasive thing to do. They love your home and will keep it in good shape I think. I hope that makes it easier for you. Sweet Kate. Thank you for your lovely and warm comments and we love you Kate the Great. The world is a better place because you are in it. Greg sends love as do I. His knee is OK and soon he will have a new one (I hope) and be A OK. I am so sad about your jaw and shoulder issues. I want to take the pain and sadness away for you. Honey sending bucketloads of healing dust. Please give our Kate the Great relief from the pain.

@marcy darn I know you are right about the tattoo but I am going to ask David next time I see him anyway. I really want a Francesca tattoo. At my age crazy I know. I managed to get this far without doing anything like that so what the heck is wrong with me now? I miss her so much. Sounds like you enjoyed a good weekend. Any updates about Marty's trip? How are you feeling? Your knees? What is on the agenda today? I hope NN stays positive and does her work properly. Sending hugs to you and have a good Monday dear Marcy.

@Daisys and Diamonds dear Nicky yummm to butternut squash soup indeed. And I thought you would enjoy that photo of the Stone Pony and that is where we hit our 7,500 mile mark. Our winters can be brutal and once it hits low 50s and not sunny cycling is out of the question. I have a few diseases that destroy my circulation and my digits ulcerate in temps at 50 degrees F no exaggeration. I might be in the record books as my dermatologist was astounded at how bad my Chilblains gets. But I digress. We enjoy cycling for as long as we can and grateful for what we can do and I do not focus on what I cannot do. Or at least I try to not focus on that. LOL.

@bling_dream19 woohoo so glad you found a venue that you both love and have decided on the date. Sounds romantic and beautiful and perfect. LOVE it. I missed the part you bought the boots. Sorry it's been crazy around here and will have to go back and re read. I have not yet figured out which boots might suit you best but will come back with the info if I can find it. If not the SW salesperson is a great person to ask. In fact if you called the Soho SW store they are so knowledgeable and nice there you might get the answers you need and they ship anywhere for free. Just a thought. Or you can take that info and order on Stuartweitzman.com. I am going to look up your Costco granola bar rec. We both love Costco so much that if we ever move I need a costco within 20-25 minutes or so. In fact we stopped by there yesterday just to see if there was any good winter gear as we were running errands. LOL.

@Slick1 hope you had a great weekend and have a good week coming up. Sending you hugs and healing vibes and hope you are feeling well. No more antibiotics please!

@Scandinavian continued healing vibes and hugs across the many miles.

@canuk-gal hope you had a lovely weekend and that your weather is cooperating. Did the winds die down a bit I hope? Maybe still some cycling time left? We are hoping to get out today and cycle a bit. It's a work day but hoping to squeeze it in before the weather changes for good. Hugs to you and hope you have a good week and are feeling well.

We had a good day despite the rain yesterday. We got to go to TJ, WF and even Costco again. The day went fast. Today hoping to go riding for a bit. Have a Marvelous Monday lovely ladies. (((Hugs))).

Leaving you with a fall foliage photo as we were driving and running errands yesterday. Isn't it pretty? No photo editing done.



and dear Bobby last night. What is it about Cats and Boxes LOL.



Enjoy a wonderful day all. XOXO.

 

[Slickk]

A drive by as I am rushed, but I do not want to go to work today. It’s been a rough school year. I have four more years until I was planning on retiring. Might push that up after this year
I do try to follow along but I can’t find the time to write much. Sorry...
@Mamabean I am so so sorry about what you are going through with mom. You are a saint of the first order. Stay the course until you can no longer, so you have no regrets. ((Hugs))
@missy thinking of you and the kitties. I follow along but haven’t had time for myself in weeks. Sending hugs and healing thoughts your way as usual. You go girl on that bike! Hope you’re enjoying the AVC!
@Tekate sheesh, what an ordeal. Truth be told I was envious that you were able to fight the infection off with meds and yet my dr went so aggressively after it. I see my Dr again today too. Sending hugs and good wishes your way for your health and move! You know how to reach me offline if you want to talk more about that damn jaw!

Love to all the NIRDIs ((Hugs)) ❤

 

[Austina]

Hello Lovelies

Sorry to be MIA but we’ve had a busy few days. I’m going to try and read and post, so I don’t miss anything.

Oy @Tekate, I hope things are improving for you and the packing is going well. Your photos remind me very much of here, and I think I’ll miss the definite seasons. I really hope you can find good medics in Tx so you can finally put all these health issues behind you. Keeping everything crossed for a smooth closing, I’m really looking forward to hearing all about your new home plans, and of course, seeing you in December, if you’re available.

I hope things are improving for your DD @junebug17. Sounds like you’re having a good time in SC and a walk on the beach and dinner out, just perfect.

I’m glad the funeral went well @marcy and that Marty is feeling a bit better. Your weather is just crazy, it’s getting cold here, but nothing compared to your snow and frigid temperatures. Well done on upping your weights, you’re really getting in to it.

I find it bizarre that they went out to lunch without you @Daisys and Diamonds, that’s just rude, as well as your SIL trying to organise your life and Christmas. We got married on 23rd December, and I like our anniversary being so close to Christmas. I think your plans sound just lovely, and hopefully you can get it all organised and have exactly the wedding YOU want. Colin was of course, delighted that we beat NZ in the rugby, I must admit it was an exciting game.

Close call on the cat food @missy, but you can rely on Costco to be there in times of need. I think soup is one of my favourite foods, and it’s the time of year now that we’re having more soup now. Those autumn colours are just glorious, and the cat in the box, well, just too cute.

Woohoo to hitting 7500 miles, that’s a massive achievement, and one for the record books. Does Greg have a date yet for his knee surgery? (Sorry if I’ve missed it). I’m always in the ‘quicker it gets done, the quicker you recover’ camp, and I’m sure he’ll do just fine. I know you’ll be worried, but to a surgeon, these operations are pretty routine, it’s just to us they seem scary.

I’m afraid I’m not going to be as polite as Missy @Mamabean, I think if you’re seriously worried your mother will cause problems with outrageous accusations, then for your own health and sanity, a care facility might be your only option. It doesn’t sound as though she appreciates anything you do for her, and you have enough on your plate without the added stress. I wish I hadn’t spent so much of my life trying to please parents who obviously thought so little of me, and I can honestly say these last 8 years have been my happiest. I‘m sorry if my blunt speaking causes you any offence, but I’d hate for you to suffer.

Hi @Slick, I can thoroughly recommend retirement, so if you can, do it and make the most of your free time - not that I seem to have much of it, but after the rough time you’ve been having, you deserve not to have any more stresses in your life.

We have lots to do in the garden too @AV_ just not a lot of motivation to do it! It’s turned cold her, down to 8 deg C this morning.

I hope I haven’t missed anyone, if I have, I apologise.

Adam left this morning (after a busy weekend), so as soon as he left, I stripped the bed, and got the washing started. We had an appt to go and look at a gym, which we did, then we stopped off for a walk. I was already feeling unsettled, but felt worse because we went to the place where we took Dottie 5 weeks ago after her vet appt, and it brought back all those horrible memories. We then went in to town to go and look at another gym by the shopping centre, and went to collect some new outside lights we’d ordered.

We came back and I made a big pot of chicken fajita soup, and cleaned the bedroom and bathrooms Adam and Kim used. By that time, the bedding was ready to be ironed, so that’s all done.

I think I feel worse at the moment because I know that Dottie would’ve been upstairs with me looking to see where Adam and Kim were. She used to do that for about a week after they left. I still can’t believe that we’ll never see her again, I miss her so much Sorry for the pity party, but I know you understand how I feel.

I also can’t believe that we’re almost in to November, where has this year gone, so many changes.

Happy Monday lovely NIRDIs

 

[AV_]

@bling_dream19 Re. boots - www ;they could be perfectly not suitable - I can't guess; there are other interesting items & prices around there.

2p

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

No one wants ot hear my misery -11C wind chill -20. Some snow. Another day of this then back to decent temps. I think. We continue to question our sanity living here. Not sure how much cycling weather there is left here.

@Mamabean hang in there! Strength and positive vibes your way. Could your Mother attend day programs so you can get a break? Care givers suffer burn out and need respite.

NIRDI shout out!

cheers--Sharon

 

[missy]

HI:

No one wants ot hear my misery -11C wind chill -20. Some snow. Another day of this then back to decent temps. I think. We continue to question our sanity living here. Not sure how much cycling weather there is left here.

@Mamabean hang in there! Strength and positive vibes your way. Could your Mother attend day programs so you can get a break? Care givers suffer burn out and need respite.

NIRDI shout out!

cheers--Sharon

Awww, and Brrrrrrr.... sending warm warm hugs across the miles dear Sharon. (((HUGS))).

 

[missy]

@bling_dream19 what kind of boot are you looking for? OTK? To the knee? What kind of heel? I am chatting with the sales associate and she said for athletic calves she recommends the Lowland and the Reserve as they have more stretch. I actually own both of these too. Love them. Let me see if I can find a photo of me and the Lowland boots.




They stretch. Try them if you are going to the SW store again. The sales associate swears these would work but you have to try it on in person. I find them super comfy. They also have a tie so you can make the fit on the thigh looser or tighter. They are flats though. I love flats.

 

[missy]

@bling_dream19 Re. boots - www ;they could be perfectly not suitable - I can't guess; there are other interesting items & prices around there.

2p

OMG I would fall on my face with those heels lol but I bet @bling_dream19 could and would rock them!

 

[missy]

I think I feel worse at the moment because I know that Dottie would’ve been upstairs with me looking to see where Adam and Kim were. She used to do that for about a week after they left. I still can’t believe that we’ll never see her again, I miss her so much Sorry for the pity party, but I know you understand how I feel.

Dear Austina, you have nothing to apologize for and I am so sorry about Dottie. I get it and feel your pain. Not a day goes by I haven't shed many tears over our darling Francesca and it's been over 4 months for us. So yes I get it and the pain doesn't go away. I've been listening to this song and somehow it makes me feel better.

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
You still have all of me, me, me

 

[AV_]

@missy , cycling is trickyer than heels, I can hop around en pointe, but not on wheels!

 

[AV_]

@Austina Somehow I have missed your post this morning & now I am glad to read it! I hope you will meet Dottie II this year - if there is to be one more change.

 

[bling_dream19]

@bling_dream19 what kind of boot are you looking for? OTK? To the knee? What kind of heel? I am chatting with the sales associate and she said for athletic calves she recommends the Lowland and the Reserve as they have more stretch. I actually own both of these too. Love them. Let me see if I can find a photo of me and the Lowland boots.




They stretch. Try them if you are going to the SW store again. The sales associate swears these would work but you have to try it on in person. I find them super comfy. They also have a tie so you can make the fit on the thigh looser or tighter. They are flats though. I love flats.

Thanks @missy and @av I love the ones you picked out AV but little too high and pointy. I need low, no point toe and comfy and stretchy sound good! I had the SW ones with the tie and they were the lowlands I believe and the foot was perfect but the calf and thigh was really tight and I dont think it would stretch enough. I think I definitely need to get to the store. Just not sure when. Thanks for helping me Missy as always you are awesome!

 

[Calliecake]

@Austina, I think what you are feeling is normal. You loved Dottie and she was a huge part of your world. It’s only natural that everywhere you look in your home is a reminder of her and you miss her so. I dread the day we have to face this. I’m sorry you are hurting and know the only thing that will help is time. I think as we age dealing with loss gets harder, at least that’s what I’ve noticed with myself and friends. Maybe it’s just that we are forced to deal with it more often. Grief sucks.

Missy, Do you think you will be able to go back to Brooklyn soon? There is so much to do in the city that you enjoy. Sometimes it just helps to stay really busy when dealing with tough things. Does Greg have his surgery date scheduled?

Mamabean, It sounds like you need a break. You have it very hard on many fronts right now and you are expecting a lot from yourself. Please know that everyone would reach a breaking point if they were dealing with all that is on your plate. Please be kind to yourself and don’t beat yourself up over how you are feeling. It not fun working this hard and feeling unappreciated. Have you looked into an adult daycare for your mom? Even if she only went for a few hours a couple days a week, it would be a break for you. Would you consider moving her to live in a nursing home facility nearby? You could check in often with her, stay an hour and then go home. You need to be able to enjoy your life too Joanne. I read your posts and can easily see myself in the same situation with my aging parents. I hope things are going well with Chris.

@junebug17, I hope you had a wonderful time in SC and had a lot of fun with your sister. Your DD is so lucky she has you for her mom. We are all lucky to know you Junie.

@Tekate, How are you feeling? I’ve been thinking of you and hope you are getting some relief from the pain. Do you have anyone who can help with packing? How has Autie been?

@marcy, I’m sorry to hear about Marty’s uncle. It sounds like you and Marty had a nice time catching up with family even though the circumstances were sad. I’m so impressed with your lifting. Did it take you a while to work up to 55 pounds? How is Marty’s business going?

@daisyanddiamonds I’m sorry to hear the sad things going on with your family. I was thinking of you last week. Bruce was on Jimmy Kimmel’s late night talk show. I hope you can google it as I’m sure you would have enjoyed it. He talked about his kids and his new Western Stars movie.

@bling_dream_17, Winter weddings are beautiful, It’s so nice to hear about your wedding plans. I believe DSW also has a good selection of boots that come in larger calf sizes.

@Slick1. I hope all goes well with the doctor today and you get good news. I’m sorry things have been rough at work.

@av, Were you able to get everything done that you were hoping to accomplish in your garden?

@canuk-gal. It’s too soon to be this cold!!! Why is it summers always seem to fly by and winter seems like an eternity? Did you have a nice Thanksgiving?

It’s been a crummy October. Two of my aunts passed away and another family member lost her brother. As the wise mom of @Tekate liked to say “when it rains, it pours”. I’m sorry for being a Debbie Downer. Someone here needs to make a new jewelry purchase for us all to enjoy looking at. I think we all need a pretty distraction.

 

[Slickk]

@Calliecake I am sorry for your losses. It is never easy. I hope you can find some peace. Thank you for your good wishes especially while you grieve. Sending ((Hugs)) your way.
In addition, your words to @Mamabean are wise as well! Mamabean, you have a life to live and it’s your only one. I’m sure your mom wouldn’t want you sacrificing yourself for her.
Sending strength to all!
Off to eat and grade papers.

 

[MamaBee]

Hi girlfriends...boyfriends too..
I see some of you on other threads but I haven’t seen some of you...I appreciate all your friendship. I truly don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have you guys...It sounds so silly when I tell my husband my friend...whatever the screen name is...I sometimes don’t know your real names...but I consider you my friends and hope to meet you all one day...maybe in Austin! Hahahahaha!
@Tekate I’m so excited for your new adventure..but wish your poor mouth would heal. It sounds so painful....I don’t know how you’re getting anything done with that going on. I’m glad that you found the reason for the mold growth in your closet....and the radon company will fix it. It’s moving to begin with and then finding things wrong that need to be fixed...is such a headache...I saw the pic of your moving boxes..but wondered if you are packing everything yourself or have the movers do it. I hope that you will find a great doctor in Texas who can finally get that jaw healed. I’m so afraid of the dentist that I missed my four month checkup with the regular dentist....I wind up going every eight months which is too long...but I have to talk myself into going...I get so nervous about it..
@Austina How are you doing? I found that after some time passed I actually felt worse. Thank you for giving me your opinion on my mom. I value each of your opinions...You’re right...I should put her in a home but I would feel like I was giving up after doing this for ten years. If she does anything significant I will rethink that. Tomorrow I’m taking her with me to visit Chris. She plays the martyr with him so I’m not looking forward to her going. I went to see Chris twice without her because she picked Bingo over going to see him..The visit was so nice when it was just the two of us..but I know Chris would like to see her.
@missy I was reading some of the older posts..and was cracking up when you would ask where Greg was...You are so funny...
You mentioned getting a tattoo in honor of Francesca...It might be okay even with your skin sensitivities because of the medical grade ink some use. I had a scar tattooed at a doctor’s office..The technician told me that most people tolerate it because it’s medical grade ink. What about having a pendant or charm made like Makingthegrade? I hope my Bailey will live forever but I know that’s not possible...I decided I’m going to get a little diamond heart for him...probably in a bangle..
@marcy I’m sorry about Marty’s uncle...Thank you for your thoughts on my mom...I really appreciate it..
@Daisys and Diamonds My mom and dad were separated many years. She left him...They never divorced but lived apart. He kept her on his medical insurance and she got his pension when he passed...He could have changed it but he didn’t...She still thinks pretty clearly...I notice a decline in reasoning but she doesn’t have dementia. She has always tough and not very warm....She reads constantly so that keeps her mind working...I’m so sorry about your mom. I did hear that complaining and telling lies comes with getting older and losing their independence. I just spoke to a friend about that today. She was so afraid that her mom would complain to the wrong person..and accuse them of something. My friend doesn’t have a mean bone in her body..
I’m going to send this here because I lost four posts at this point and I’m getting nervous! Hugs to all!

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

hugs back @Mamabean
i hope your mom is being nice today

 

[MamaBee]

hugs back @Mamabean
i hope your mom is being nice today

Thank you @Daisys and Diamonds..She went to the senior center today to play bingo..so it was a good day.

 

[Tekate]

@Mamabean Oh I understand, even today with all the gizmos and meds pain still rules for me at the dentist. I believe my problem started with a poorly done root canal, that started the bone infection and it's not been able to be vanquished yet.. hoping though! I dunno Joanne, I think we are responsible for our parents to a point, they were there for us (some parents more than others for sure).. but there comes a time when it's BETTER for them to be safer in an assisted living facility. It's up to you and you will do what is best for you but it may be a good idea..

@marcy Thanks Marcy, it does hurt, but not as bad as before because it is healing, my problem is that the infection sort of hibernates I guess... it's all a bad dream.

@Daisys and Diamonds I love Dr Who, I thought it spectacular in the 70s nothing in American TV came close to how cool the BBC is with their shows.. I think Sci-Fi is somethig that is not for everyone Don't know anything about rugby except a friend of mine's daughter played on rugby at Texas Christian University till her clavicle was broken and her mom made he quit, healing took forever and very painful for the girl. xoxo

@AV_ Hi AV, yup the same Brooklyn, if you have never visited Brooklyn you should it's a fun place with great restaurants and my family! and MIssy!

@missy My marvelous Missy, I figured you guys would still be in Jersey and you have said but it will be next time, I'm coming more often I think once we get settled in Austin, we are actually renting a house in Georgetown TX, which is a bit north of Austin, nearer Mike and Cara than our old house in Northwest Austin, but as retired people we can drive.. How are you? you look wonderfuly Missy.. you glow. Missy, don't worry about my jaw, I'll be fine, but I worry about you keeping strength up.. you take of marvelous Missy and furkids and Greg, he will be so happy 6 weeks after he has his new knee Missy.. we always wait too long because it's damn scary to have a joint replacement, but Greg? he's a GREAT candidate, he's strong, healthy, young, he'll be fine.. and running I have different thoughts on tattoos, I can entirely understand why you want a tattoo for Frankie, and I hope you can get one, it's such an honor and for a person it makes our lovd one feel closer, I feel tattoos are art, my only dislike of them is when people over do them and they become just a never ending mishmash.. I hope you can do it Missy, such a good feeling to have Francesca with you so close..

@bling_dream19 yay to a December wedding and all the beauty that goes with it.. !!! it will be fantastic! xoxo

@Austina Hello, my heart to yours, I know this sorrow you feel, I know how it comes in waves, I know the lost feeling, the shared love, I know you a bit and know you have Dottie in your karma/soul and you keep her there. I wish I could take this away from you.. I wish our furkids lived longer than we did.. I send you caring love Austina. I do believe I'm in Texas all December unless Chris doesn't come down to Texas then maybe a long weekend in Brooklyn.. how exciting to meet up! details later..

@Slick1 Hi and so sorry there's bad karma, juju and just crappy people this year Slick.. I'm not sure of this situation per se but I have had some crap times when I worked and I feel for you.. sending you a huge hug and sympathy because it sucks. Thank you Slick, re; talking.. I plan on reaching out to you after I move because honestly Slick I don't know if this is every curable at this rate, they say Amoxicillin can cure it, but I am allergic to it, I did 8 months of Doxy and as soon as he cut into my jaw again I was infected in 2 days.. now I have osteonecrosis too.. all sux. hope th leaves are still colorful your way and I send you a hug, don't work toooo hard. xoxo

@Calliecake count me too among us who feel down for all this death you have experienced this year, yes it never rains but pours, but Callie I consider you a friend here and know that if and when we meet we will just be yakking and laughing and a hug or two and discussing our grand neice and daughter and just laughing about he who shall not be named because he's a POS, you are never a downer Callie but but an upper who always makes me happy and I'll bet everyone else here too.. you care Callie... an usual and rare attribute today (we all care here or we wouldnt be here but none the less we should all hear it once in a while).. I sometimes think while I love fall it does bring me down a bit.. I hope your family is welll Callie and you too sending you love. Kate the GrEAt I think @Jimmianne should post some gorgeous gem she found on ebay, that girl has the knack!

@canuk-gal pretty cold, but hope you are enjoying yourself! sending hugs your way!

So the buyer's Bank appraiser came today, hopefully she doesn't show the house in overpriced.. never had it happen but John did before we were married, he had to supply 5K more than he had so he had to borrow from his father (who was meanish).. Both John and I are in the throes of JOINT and MUSCLE pain, me per usual, and John's knee is going, he needs a new knee but he fights it and till he's ready to do it I cannot make him.. he's an Aleve addict. Autie had her first cold and she is teething, poor baby.. Didn't talk to Christopher so I have no news on him, Mike has already put in his order for Thanksgiving turkey from MOM.. he wants fudge, and cookies and pie and MASHED POTATOES and GRAVY GALORE, I think I am going to teach Cara how to cook this stuff this year. Gonna talk to Katie later this week.. My best friend Kath's daughter Kara is getting divorced from her gazillionaire husband, don't know the details but I would bet it's that he's absent, the guy is constantly working, but that's how you get 25 million or so, also she's 13 years younger than him and he loves solitude and she loves in town living.. he's giving her 2 million for a house in Santa Barbara CA which buys you basically a non-descript 3 bedroom 3 bath house, no pool, no view but she can walk to town etc.. it's millenial vs genXer and the twain just didnt meet, also I think having two kids 1 year apart REALLY screwed her up.. who knows, maybe she has the pool guy on the side.

Hope everyone had a great Monday. Rainy and hazy here.

 

[marcy]

Hi NIRDI’s!

Daisys and Diamonds, you have a very good point about the downside to nursing homes. I would like to believe the abuse and horror stories we hear are few and far between but no one wants a loved one subjected to that kind of treatment. I know when my grandmother was in one my mom and stopped by daily and at different times and it seemed like those with frequent visitors get more attention. It was rough for both my mom and dad plus for us kids. As my dad used to say getting old isn’t for sissies. I think all of us wouldn’t want to become so selfish but once we get there it’s natural to be focused on our self and a very different life style.

AV, I am glad you enjoying gardening. I don’t have a green thumb. I totally believe working in the garden is great exercise. A bonfire sounds great - I’m going to turn on my fireplace right now!

Missy, I can’t believe it’s almost November. I am already struggling with what should my December article be on for the paper? If you want a Francesca tattoo; then definitely check with David if it’s okay for you. I know you miss your sweet girl very much. Glad to hear Greg’s knee is OK. My right knee is slightly worse again but not as bad as it’s been before. I notice it mostly at night when I haven’t moved for several hours. Still overall an improvement. NN called in sick today. Marty did go on his trip and escaped our cold and snow. Love the colors in your fall foliage photo and Bobby is looking cute.

Slick1, sorry to hear this school year has been a tough one. I get why that might alter your retirement plan. In the 21 years I taught as an adjunct instructor I had such an awful class that I swore if I ever had another class like that I was going to quit.

Austina, thank you. I know Marty thinks I should add weights every time but I am taking the slow and steady approach. I am happy with my progress. We usually have snow in October but not these low temperatures. Wednesday night is going to be -3 and who knows where that puts us with wind chill. Marty keeps bragging how his pickup has a remote start; I won’t tell you what names I call him. I think that is awesome to have your anniversary close to Christmas. My grandparents on my dad’s side were married on Christmas Eve. I hate to hear your parents didn’t cherish and appreciate you. Big hugs to you for having a hard day missing sweet Dottie. Those days are really difficult.

Sharon, you win - you are way colder than we are. Brutal cold for this time of year, huh? And Marty asks me that frequently, why do we still live here?

Bling Dream, good luck find some great boots.

Calliecake, thank you. It was nice to catch up with the distant cousins. Most of their little kids are adults now. Time flies. I guess I’ve been lifting about 5 months now and started with 15 pounds. I add about a pound every few weeks. Dead lifting has been easy so I am going to push it more than that; overhead presses I feel like adding ounces. Those are tough. Marty has about 10 clients right now; enough to keep busy and pay his rent and light bill anyway. I am so sorry to hear about your 2 aunts and another family loss. That is a lot to deal with at once. Big hugs to you and your family.

Mamabean, another thought I had is having someone like those caring angels come in and spend time with her giving you some free time. I hope your visit with Chris goes well tomorrow. Glad she got out and played bingo today; is she is better moods on those days?

Kate, I don’t think your jaw is all a bad dream; it sounds like a nightmare. I am glad it’s not as bad as before but it still sounds awful! Feel better. I am sure packing and getting ready to move is taking a toll on both you and John. It’s a lot of hard work. I remember it well. When we moved her 7 years ago in December we fantasized the next time we moved we’d be rich enough we could pay someone to do all this; so I guess we are stuck here because that being rich part hasn’t panned out for us. And I’m with John, I’m holding out with the knee I’ve got. Your Thanksgiving menu sounds delicious. I hope the buyer’s appraisal goes well.

We only had about 2” of snow. We are getting more starting tonight through Wednesday. We should just barely get above freezing on Thursday.

NN called in sick. We had a busy day at work.

Take care.
Marcy

 

[missy]

Good morning girls. It's a rainy rest of the week predicted here but in 2 days it will be Halloween. Only our second Halloween spent at the beach house. The last time we spent Halloween here no one came for candy and this time I forgot to buy candy so not sure if we should make it a priority and get Halloween candy or not. I don't feel like going to the store and getting it if no one is going to show. Hmmmm. Anyway on to the day.

@Tekate yes I do worry about you. Your jaw, your shoulder and your well being. I am glad the house stuff is getting sorted and now I want you and John to start feeling better. Honestly Greg wanted the surgery last year but put it off so we could enjoy cycling this year. He did it for me but in hindsight I wish I didn't let him wait. I should have insisted no but I was just happy he was going to be able to cycle in 2019 so I let him put the surgery off. My fault. Now look with RW who knows if it will happen or not. I hope your buyers appraisal goes very well. Fingers crossed. And I am very sad I am missing you this time on your Brooklyn trip but I know there will be other times and I am looking very much forward to seeing you again Kate the great and sweet and kind and wise. Big hugs to you and John and Autie and your Thanksgiving plans sound delicious and loving and wonderful. So glad you have a warm loving family. Perfect for the warm and generous and loving and wonderful woman you are Kate dear. Love you girlie.

@Austina keeping you in my thoughts. It's so hard missing Dottie I know. She was a big part of your life and is in your heart always. My parents were married Christmas Day and my aunt and uncle Christmas Eve so you are in good company. I was a flower girl at my aunt and uncles wedding and that is actually my very first memory. Sitting on the cold marble in my very short yellow dress waiting for the proceedings to begin and another memory from that evening is everyone oohing and awwwwing as I walked down the aisle as flower girl. I was precious. LOLOL. Anyway sending you warm hugs and love and hope you are having a good day.

@Slick1 girl no need for apologies plus I feel we are always in touch and you are always in my thoughts. Sending lots of love your way. Hope school goes smoothly this week.

@bling_dream19 aw I am sorry the Lowlands didn't fit well. Darn it. Yes go to the store and speak to the sales associates in person and let them find you the perfect SW boot. I do know they have wider calf boots available and it is a matter of trying on the styles you like and seeing what is comfortable for you. And you are awesome @bling_dream19 XOXO

Speaking of awesome, dear @canuk-gal you are awesome and very hardy to withstand Canadian winters. For sure. As I get older I cannot tolerate the cold very well and with each year less and less. But I also don't tolerate the extreme heat so LOL no winning with me I guess. Looks like our cycling days are over seeing the weather forecast for the next week. Hope you are having a good week and sending you love and hugs and good vibes. XOXO.

@marcy glad NN called out yesterday. It's always nice when she isn't there complaining and making the day more challenging. Busy work day means fast work day no? I am sorry your knee is swollen but glad it is a bit better than it has been. Not moving it does make it a bit more painful for Greg too I think. Lucky Marty escaping your cold snow. How is the weather by you now? Lots of snow predicted for Wed? Let it stay at the 2" mark and then melt very soon. I enjoy autumn colors very much. But wow almost November. Crazy fast. Have a good day Marcy. XOXO.

@Mamabean thanks for that info re medical grade dye. Probably not going to be able to get a Francesca tattoo but we will see. How is your day going? How are you feeling? Thinking of you and sending (((hugs))). And haha I have another photo for you. I know you enjoy them.

@AV_ how is it going? Hope you are enjoying a good week and staying cozy and productive and just having a lovely time. Hugs.

@Scandinavian I hope the surgery went as well as it could have and sending you continued good thoughts and healing dust. And much love.

@Daisys and Diamonds how are you doing sweet Nicky? Hope you are having a lovely week and that Gary and Melanie are doing well. And the kitties too. XO.

@Calliecake I am sorry about the death of your aunts. Very sad. It strikes me how full of death life is. And it chokes me up every single time I think about it. My condolences.

We had a good ride (maybe the last one of the year) yesterday and of course saw amazing fall colors and had some yummy ice cream and it was a lovely lovely lovely Autumn day. I will share photos next post as I do not want to lose this long post. Sending you all hugs and hoping a nice day is enjoyed by all.

 

[missy]

@Mamabean





Yummmmmmm @marcy and all the other NIRDIs who enjoy ice cream...



@bling_dream19 this is for you...Jersey shore brought right to you my dear. Anytime. Just say the word.



@Daisys and Diamonds for you...a little bit of AP on your screen.


@Tekate this one is for you...the beautiful blue and cool crisp autumn day made me think of your lovely warm generous and kind spirit.


And the lovely Autumn colors @canuk-gal and @Slick1 and for all those who appreciate it.






Have a terrific Tuesday sweet ladies. XOXO.

 

[Tekate]

Just love this woman.. you are the epitomy of when things go hard for you YOU go high.. how kind of you Missy, just how kind of you.. lucky me and us (and Greg and the kids and your fam). xoxox

@Mamabean





Yummmmmmm @marcy and all the other NIRDIs who enjoy ice cream...



@bling_dream19 this is for you...Jersey shore brought right to you my dear. Anytime. Just say the word.



@Daisys and Diamonds for you...a little bit of AP on your screen.


@Tekate this one is for you...the beautiful blue and cool crisp autumn day made me think of your lovely warm generous and kind spirit.


And the lovely Autumn colors @canuk-gal and @Slick1 and for all those who appreciate it.






Have a terrific Tuesday sweet ladies. XOXO.

 

[Tekate]

@missy Greg put it off for you? well no worries because I put my surgery off twice to go on vaKatetions.. we are lucky indeed when our spouse cares enough about us that they postpone things, because really Missy, making the people we love happy is the BEST thing in life.. you do this with aplomb.. I know Greg is the best with the best.. See the ID doc tomorrow morning, I am setting up my long line of docs in Austin again, my surgeon is still there but he only does knees and hips but he has a big group, my GP will be too far south to go to him again plus he was always bugging me about losing weight he's Michael's doc so we keep in touch, he's a DO, which sometimes I much more like, they listen more. Hey Missy, thank you for you words, but you know what? I attract warm, loving and kind people, so that is why you and I hit it off so well last year in Brooklyn, finding someone like ourselves.. xoxoxoxoxo etc. xoxoxoxoxo on and on..

@marcy Hello girl, 2 inches of snow, I will miss snow, we are having rain. I like your attitude about lifting heavier and heavier, your pace is the best pace for you, having osteoarthritis in my shoulder is genetic I'm positive (even my ortho surgeon said it), but I will say it's a pain in the shoulder, my right shoulder is the one that is gone, I'm right handed, my left hip went first also..so I think Marty is GREAT but I do think slow is better, I so admire you that you guys do weights, it's so cool.. And my jaw a great day is when I dont remember or feel it! thank you Marcy for all the kind things and caring things you say to me, mucho appreciated xoxoxo I suppose NN is using up sick days? it's getting to the end of the year! hope you have a wonderful day, be careful walking in the snow. xoxoxo

off to walk Salley dog, a chilly, dreary day here in southern Maine..


bbl I Hope and sending love, and hope for a happy Tuesday for all the NIRDIs! kate

 

[Austina]

Hello lovelies

Thank you so much @missy, that song, those words. I know you (and anyone who’s lost a much loved pet) know exactly how I feel. Some days I’m ok, I’ve accepted that she’s gone, but other days, well, I’m just so sad, I can’t hold back the tears when I think that she should’ve have more time with us. We knew when she came to us that we could be taking on problems, but we always hoped for the best. I just feel so angry that her breeder didn’t care enough to ensure that she was breeding from the healthiest lines she could, and my poor Dottie (and other’s I know of from the same breeder) have suffered because of her greed.

I’m so very sorry @Calliecake that your family has suffered so many losses lately, what a sad time for you all. Thank you for your kind words, I hope your little doggie is with you for a long time to come.

I’m glad you’ve got all your appts lined up @Tekate, but I wish you didn’t have to. This aging lark is a bugga, as we say here! Everything crossed the appraisal goes well and the buyers don’t try and negotiate down on the price. When we moved here, we just got the removal company to come 3 days ahead and pack everything. Of course we’d spent a couple of weeks going through everything and making numerous trips to all the charity shops in our area with all the things we didn’t want to keep. Colin was on first name terms with all the shop managers

I hope your visit to Chris with your Mum went well today @Mamabean, and she behaved herself. Jeez, I can’t believe she preferred to play bingo than visit her grandson You will NOT have failed in any way, shape or form, if you do decide the time has come for her to in to a care facility, you are an amazing daughter and mother, and I feel so sad that she doesn’t appreciate you.

Thank you @marcy, I appreciate your kind words. Those remote starts on cars are da bomb! Adam has had hire cars with that facility, only in his case, it was to start the a/c up to cool the car down not heat it up! I’m glad Marty’s doing steady business at the gym, and covering his costs there. I hope you haven’t had too much snow overnight, it’s feeling really cold here, but nowhere near your temperatures. It’s supposed to be 11 deg C here today, but it definitely feels much colder than yesterday, which was 8 deg C. Stay safe on the roads there.

Oh my gosh @canuk-gal, those temperatures are insane. You must be made of stern stuff to cope with that. I don’t remember how cold it was when we went to Churchill, but I’ve never known such bone chilling cold in all my life. Stay safe and warm.

I would love another Dottie @AV_ but sadly, the sensible thing for us is to wait until we move, then we won’t have to put them through the trauma of the journey.

Missy got me in to over the knee boots @bling_dream19 I thought I was too old for them, but I got 2 pairs, navy and black, and I absolutely love them and have worn them so often. Mine have elasticated vents in them, so maybe you could find something like that where you are?

Hi @Slick1 - I hope you’re having a better day today.

How’re things with you today @Daisys and Diamonds ?

I went to Pilates this morning, then we went to Costco, and the DIY shop. It’s like Home Depot, and they were doing a deal on the Farrow & Ball paint we’ve used everywhere. Unfortunately, even though their inventory showed they had 3 of the colour we wanted, we could only find 2, so they’ve ordered them in for us. It’s certainly gone up in price since I bought the last lot, but the deal is 3 for 2, so we thought we’d get it now for when we need to repaint before we put the house on the market.

Hope you’re all having a good day

 

[junebug17]

@missy, love the pics of those sweet doggies I can understand how you could lose track of the cat food; with four kitties I'm sure you go through it very quickly! Yum to soup...I'm planning on making some vegetable soup today; makes those veggies a little more appealing lol. It's great you've been able to sneak in some extra cycling. Wonderful pics of the ferals, the beach, the water, the ice cream, and your cycling adventures. I'm hoping and praying for good news on the rw. I know it's been a tough and long road for you, Greg and the kitties and that you are all longing for a return to a normal and less stressful life. XOX

@bling_dream19, December is a lovely month to get married...the joyous vibes that surround the holidays will carry over into your wedding! Wonderful that you found shoes that are both beautiful and comfortable. And nice that you picked your venue too. Good luck with your other decisions...you can't go wrong with either one. It all comes down to what would make you and your fiance the happiest. It is your special day and it should be just the way you want it.

@canuk-gal, glad to hear your bike is fixed and you are back in business...but oh no to the wind, cold temps, and snow! I hope you get a respite from the lousy weather and can sneak in a little more cycling.

@marcy, sounds like the funeral was very touching, and it's nice you were able to catch up with relatives. Your flower pictures are absolutely gorgeous. They look like professional pics Up to now I've been thinking I'm good with my current phone...your pics are convincing me I need a new one just for the camera! Congrats on increasing your deadlift weight, nicely done

@Daisys and Diamonds, I'm sorry you and Gary were left out of the lunch plans on Friday. How odd and I can't imagine what they were thinking. Families can be frustrating and hard to figure out. And it's a shame that Gary's sister was pushy and telling you what to do...I really dislike when people do that. I'm very sorry that cancer has affected so many of your loved ones. OX Sending love and strength to Melanie and to those who love her. Such a sweet story about your former troll and now friend. So nice that things worked out between you two.

@AV_, sounds like gardening is giving you quite a workout! It's nice you enjoy doing it. Looks like November will be a busy month for you. I have to switch gears and start getting ready for our holiday season. My house needs a lot of cleaning before I have company and I'm determined not to wait until the last minute this year.

@Tekate, your stop in Brooklyn will be fun...how great to see your son and all the family you have there. I'm continuing to keep you in my thoughts and hoping the infection hasn't spread XOX. And that your shoulder isn't going to cause you too much trouble with everything you have going on. Such a busy time for you and I'll be glad when you are settled in Texas and can relax a little. I'm sure you will too! Hang in there and I hope you're feeling ok.

@Mamabean, I'm so sorry the incident with your mother caused you so much distress. Caring for an elderly parent can be challenging to say the least, particularly when that parent has a difficult personality. I totally understand your concerns. XOX I'm glad you addressed it with your mother and I'm hoping it made an impression on her. Sending you comfort and support in managing the stress these worries are giving you. ((((Hugs))))

@Slick1, I'm really sorry the school year isn't going smoothly for you and you're under a lot of stress. I feel for you and I truly hope things get better for you. <3

@Calliecake, you have definitely had a rough October and I'm so sorry for all the loss you've experienced; it take a toll and just makes life sad and depressing. I'm sending you lots of comforting thoughts and hugs...and I hope you can find a little joy in some other things that will help lift your spirits. Thank you for your kind words; I feel the same way about you! XOX

@Austina, I am so sorry memories have been making you feel sad and upset; I completely understand and I'm sending love and hugs. These reminders can hit one so unexpectedly too. I know you are still missing your sweet Dottie so much. I've found that going to a gym has been good for me mentally and physically. I wasn't sure I'd like it but I figured I could just stop going if I didn't! Might be a good distraction for you during this rough time.

Dh and I got back from South Carolina last night. It was a busy weekend. Our friend's son got married on Sunday and it was a really lovely wedding. We attended the welcome dinner on Saturday night and that was fun. Monday morning after the wedding there was a brunch, which was lovely too. The food was great at each event and the surroundings were beautiful. Great weather too, sunny and close to 80.

Guess I should get my act together and head out to the grocery store and Costco...there's nothing to eat in this house lol.

Take care everyone! <3