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Wedding not doing garter toss but wearing one anyway?

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cammy85

cammy85

Shiny_Rock
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Feb 28, 2008
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I''m curious, because FH doesn''t want to do the garter toss, at all, but I love the idea of the one chance I will have to wear a fun garter (aka his favorite team or something). Is anyone else not doing the toss but wearing one anyway?

I think he''d get a kick out of it, but I''m not sure if it''s worth it haha
 
Why not right? If it''s important to you you should get one regardless of whether you want to do the toss or not.
 
I''m wearing one and we''re not doing the toss. D doesn''t mind either way if I do wear one or not.
 
I''ll be wearing one, but not doing the toss. It''s a fun accessory and doesn''t cost much at all.
 
I was wondering the same thing!!

FI and I are not doing a bouquet toss or garter toss. I think its weird and hokey and it puts ppl on the spot.

I also like the idea of wearing a cute garter - maybe one with blue accents as my "something blue."
 
I think it''s totally awesome if you get one! Who cares about the toss... it''s a cool piece of clothing you really only wear once right?
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Date: 11/20/2008 2:00:07 PM
Author: LauraBabe08
I was wondering the same thing!!

FI and I are not doing a bouquet toss or garter toss. I think its weird and hokey and it puts ppl on the spot.

I also like the idea of wearing a cute garter - maybe one with blue accents as my 'something blue.'
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Haha LauraBabe08 we're date twins. Awesome! Where are you from?

I'm doing the bouquet toss, even after I 'decided' I wasn't (I HATE being put on the spot as the 'single one' so I refuse to do that to my friends...) But our venue has a layout perfect for an awesome toss, so I am planning on inviting all the women out on the floor to catch it - single, married, divorced, whatever. I'm thinking of even putting a little giftcard or something on it to bribe people out there!
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But I totally don't want my guy rooting around under my dress in front of my aunts, uncles, parents and assorted extended family. So not us.





Yeah, I kind of agree with everyone so far that I think it'd be fun to be able to wear a garter though! I'm planning on making mine, so I was dedciding whether it's worth the work or not.. I'm DIYing a lot of stuff for this wedding haha.

I'm totally doing a sports-related one! :)
 
Just curious...why do y''all want to wear a garter? I did this for my senior prom about a thousand years ago, and my boyfriend took it off aka the wedding routine and then he wore it on the arm of his tux. it was fun then because it was part of the ritual. But I''m not doing a bouquet or garter toss at my wedding, and I have no real desire to wear a garter "just because." Is it because you''re wearing a secret item that only you and FI know about and that he gets to take off later?
 
I just bought a beautiful garter from garterlady on etsy! I am not sure if I am going to do a garter toss or not but I had some blue put on it so at least it will be my something blue. I think it is just a fun touch and something extra do to on the wedding day. Regardless of whether you toss it or not it will be fun to wear and for the new hubby to take off eventually... :)
 
I just think it''s popular because it''s sexy... to some at least. Especially with a boustier
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I plan to wear a garter but not throw it too! Mainly because it''s a tradition to wear one, I guess. I''m kind of worried about it falling down during the ceremony or something, though. That can''t happen, right?!!

As long as we''re on the topic, I also don''t plan to do the bouquet toss. My single friends have flat out told me they won''t participate and I found it a somewhat humiliating experience myself. It feels like the married people are like yay, we''re married, don''t you wish you were like us? Now all you single girls get in a big group and fight for the bouquet so you can be a happy married person, too! What I might do, though, is hand off a toss bouquet to my best friend who is getting married one month after me. She''s the next of my friends to be married anyway and isn''t that what the bouquet toss is supposed to symbolize?
 
I would, absolutely. I have already decided if a few years down the road we do a vow renewal, I'm wearing a garter (but we aren't doing a garter toss) and here's why:

I found out months after the wedding that my mom still had her garter, and that she had considered giving it to me, but she was "embarrassed because it's so old and the lace has yellowed," so she figured I wouldn't wear it.

I was CRUSHED! I am a very sentimental person, and I always wanted to be one of those girls that got to wear SOMETHING of their mother's on their wedding day, but I was always given the impression there was nothing my mother could pass down to me. I told her, "are you KIDDING? I would have worn it no matter what! So what if the lace is a little yellow?"

So she gave the garter to me, and I've already decided if we do a vow renewal, I am wearing it. End of story. I don't believe a garter toss is appropriate at a vow renewal, but I would wear it for myself since I got cheated out of it on my wedding day.
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No garter toss, wore a garter (gift from my sis). It just felt wedding-ish, but our little secret.
 
We didn''t do a bouquet or garter toss for most of the reasons everyone mentioned: not wanting to put people on the spot (horrible when there are about 3 single women there..) and DH didn''t want to search under my dress for it in front of his grandma!

I never thought about wearing one anyway for later..I think that is a cool idea and definitely not strange! Here is an alternative idea for the bouquet toss for anyone who is interested, this is what we did.

Most people may have heard of the "generation dance"? Where you have all married couples get up and start dancing, then the DJ says, "if you''ve been married less than one day, sit down" (the just married couple sits) then you start counting back 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, etc until you end up with some sweet old couple who have been married for 57 years. I did this knowing that the winners would be my old babysitter who was like a grandma to me- I even missed out on dancing with my new hubby who was looking for my babysitters husband (who was in the restroom) and dragging them onto the dance floor! Anyway, I presented my throw-away bouquet to the two of them in honor of their marriage. [:)
 
Out of curiosity, is there historical significance of a garter? What is it supposed to be for, other than just being fun to wear? Maybe I am just out of the loop. I plan on wearing one, but don''t really know the significance, other than liking the way it looks.
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My DH and I did this. We agreed no garter toss and I didn''t even think about a garter, but my MOH and my mom bought one for me, as my something blue. My husband thought it was great, it didn''t bother me and it didn''t get shown to my grandma, so I was all for it
 
Date: 11/21/2008 1:30:41 AM
Author: kstar512
Out of curiosity, is there historical significance of a garter? What is it supposed to be for, other than just being fun to wear? Maybe I am just out of the loop. I plan on wearing one, but don't really know the significance, other than liking the way it looks.
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The girl that caught the bouquet and the guy that caught the garter were the next ones to be married. In days of arranged marriages and chaperoned dating ANY opportunity to meet a person of the opposite sex was a welcome event. They made up all kinds of situations for singles to meet. In a small village a wedding would be a rare social opportunity where singles got to mingle. Putting the bride's garter on the bouquet catcher is new as I am sure they didn't do that in "old country".
 
I''m not doing the toss, but I sure as hell am wearing the garter... I''m the bride... I can do what I want right?
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My rings came in a set and the wedding band is lower than my engagement ring. It makes the ering pop out more.
 
Date: 11/21/2008 6:01:34 AM
Author: PrincessMiaPuff
My rings came in a set and the wedding band is lower than my engagement ring. It makes the ering pop out more.
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Wrong thread
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Date: 11/21/2008 1:30:41 AM
Author: kstar512
Out of curiosity, is there historical significance of a garter? What is it supposed to be for, other than just being fun to wear? Maybe I am just out of the loop. I plan on wearing one, but don't really know the significance, other than liking the way it looks.
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Actually, the story behind the garter is this:

It was believed at one time that the garments of the bride were lucky, and anyone who got a piece of it would have good luck in the year to come. Problem? As the couple was leaving, guests would grab at and tear off pieces of the bride's gown and veil. [Can you imagine if someone did that now? I don't know about you, but I'd have killed someone if they tore off a piece of my dress.] So to appease the guests and prevent them from tearing off pieces of her gown, the bride would remove her garter and throw it to them as she left the reception.

We did the garter toss at my wedding (as well as the bouquet toss.) I wouldn't change that decision for the world. Everyone enjoyed both, even though we only had 20 guests and only had five people for the bouquet toss (one was my husband's widowed grandmother!) and five people for the garter. (The groomsmen who caught it has it hanging on his rearview mirror.)

But I still say, if you choose not to toss it, you can still wear it. It's one of those things that just goes with weddings.
 
Date: 11/20/2008 6:26:13 PM
Author: marchswallowbird
Just curious...why do y''all want to wear a garter? I did this for my senior prom about a thousand years ago, and my boyfriend took it off aka the wedding routine and then he wore it on the arm of his tux. it was fun then because it was part of the ritual. But I''m not doing a bouquet or garter toss at my wedding, and I have no real desire to wear a garter ''just because.'' Is it because you''re wearing a secret item that only you and FI know about and that he gets to take off later?
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Marchswallowbird, For me, I''ve nenver gotten a chance to wear a garter, at all. Where I''m from, it''s not a tradition for prom, so I would love the chance to do it just once, where it''s one of the few places it''s tradition. I like the little ''secret surprise.'' And I think it''ll make me feel a little sexier, which is totally worth it for me to amp that up!

bootsiekin, I''d thought about the generation dance, but within the pats few years, I''ve lost my two grandmothers, and I think the hurt is still recent enough that that could be more painful than endearing for our particular situation. I love the sentiment behind it, I just don''t think it would work for us. That''s why I''m just having anyone who wants to come up regardless of their status if they want to catch the bouquet. :)

As for the significance, I have heard a similar thing as Nocturnius...but I''ve also heard that in the olden times, it was custumary to watch (aka to ensure that) the marriage being consumated... skeevy... and that''s when they would rip and tear at the clothes. The garter was supposed to be the "less sketchy" way of proving the marriage was consumated, since it''s in a ''somewhat scandalous'' location.
 
Thanks swingirl and Nocturnius, I was going to wear one reguardless, its just fun to know the significance of traditions sometimes. It makes them a little bit more meaningful. And yes, if people were yanking at my wedding gown it would not be pretty.
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I''m not sure if we''ll have a reception or not, but either way I''ll be wearing a garter. A team garter - but not his team, MY team!
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My grandma (!) actually suggested that I wear two garters - one of my team, one of his, and to make him throw the one with his team on it away for the garter toss, and keep mine for posterity. I love that woman!
 
For the whole to toss or not. I recently attended a wedding full of people that I thought would really like the whole garter bouquet toss thing. However, they had to trick the girls into getting on the dance floor, and when bouquet was tossed people literally ran away from it... and the one bridesmaid that had to pick it up tried to give it away. The garter toss was no better. The boys didn''t run from it but no one moved to catch it either. Some poor groomsman had to dutifully retrieve it from the floor. It just seems to be full of embarrassment for all involved.
 
I can totally relate to all of this. At almost every wedding I ever went to I had to be almost dragged onto the floor for the bouquet toss. Really, it was embarassing to be "singled out" -- literally!!!! I was one of those girls who would stand there with my hands behind my back and run from the bouquet. I interpreted the bouquet toss as a stereotypical -- if not chauvanistic-- ritual that seemed to stress that the main achievement in a woman''s life should be getting married. And being an independent career woman, I was 100 percent against that notion. I''m not saying this is what the bouquet toss symbolizes, I''m just saying this was my perspective at the time.
 
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