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mintve

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I am having no luck with my BF and buying a stone off the internet. He is usually very agreeable to most things I suggest, but for this, he is not budging. I''ve been trying to tell him all the benefits and its really not working. It looks like I might have to go to a B&M...he really wants to buy from the shane co. One of my friends (who is the wife of his bf), said he told her to take me shopping there. he already told her he is not good with the internet shopping idea. He knows he could save money, but he is too nervous about it. he thinks I will be unhapppy. this is the opposite, but I feel like i am banging my head against a wall. HELP!! What do I do. will all the world end if I get a stone fromt he shane co? what is a girl to do???? Maybe I should propsose a girls shopping trip to NYC, so I can make a trip to GOG!!
 
Well, I would say that being in a relationship (a marriage) takes work, and you should both compromise to make the decision comfortable for each of you. You want to buy online, he is not happy (comfortable) with that. Many people arent comfortable with making such a big purchase online. If I were you, I would pay a visit to one of the PS vendors (GOG, ERD, Whiteflash, James Allen,etc)....I am not sure where you live...If that doesnt work for both of you, then I would find a trusted B&M in the area and go from there....There are some good ones around, just have to do your research!!!
 
Why not turn him towards GOG? They have a storefront that he might be more comfortable shopping in. Are you close enough to GOG in NY?
 
Maybe the answer is to make an appointment with a vendor such as Jon at GOG, that way you can get the info and prices you want, and your BF will get the feeling of security that perhaps he desires, in buying from a B&M company. There is also Mark at ERD in the DD in NY, you could make an appointment there too to actually be able to see some diamonds and see an actual salesperson, which might give your BF confidence. In this way it might make both of you happy, suggest this to him instead of the other places he wants to look perhaps.
 
I would go on a trip to New York and visit Good Old Gold or Engagement Rings Direct. After finding Pricescope, there was absolutely no way I could have let my now fiance buy a ring from a B&M. If he won't agree to a visit to a Pricescope vendor, I would try to find a reputable independent jeweler in your area. Shane Co. has some pretty bad reviews here on Pricescope. Maybe you can show him those.

I really don't see why he won't budge, honestly. Has he looked at Pricescope at all? Checked out PS vendor websites? Read the return policies? Checked on the PS vendors at the BBB? It seems pretty unreasonable that you seem to desperately want to get a ring from a PS vendor and he won't even consider it.
 
Date: 12/27/2007 9:25:16 AM
Author: Dani
Well, I would say that being in a relationship (a marriage) takes work, and you should both compromise to make the decision comfortable for each of you. You want to buy online, he is not happy (comfortable) with that. Many people arent comfortable with making such a big purchase online. If I were you, I would pay a visit to one of the PS vendors (GOG, ERD, Whiteflash, James Allen,etc)....I am not sure where you live...If that doesnt work for both of you, then I would find a trusted B&M in the area and go from there....There are some good ones around, just have to do your research!!!
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Thanks Dani. I know what you mean about the compromise, I guess after being on PS, I feel like if I don''t get a stone from a PS vendor, then I am missing the boat and making a bad decision. I live in Atlanta and I have been to loads of B&M places..some good, some bad, some OK. We do have the apparel mart here and they ahve jewelry/diamaond vendors, so maybe that is an option.
 
Actually, I think Union diamond is located in Atlanta, and I think there have been people here who have bought from them (try a search). You can tell them you are a PriceScope person and are ONLY interested in stones that are AGS0 ideal cut or GIA Excellent within ideal parameters, and they should be able to call in some for you to see. However, if you could swing a trip to GOG, then I'd be all for that! Otherwise, I couldn't buy from a B&M because they will likely have inferior stones at a higher price. I just can't see throwing money away.

PS Have you explained to him that GOG is just a regular jewelry store and is not just an internet seller? It is a family owned business and they are likely to be in business a very long time (Jon is just in his 40's, so you can count on another 20 or so years from him!). I ordered two stones from them to look at and bought one and sent the other back. You have 30 days to return. So I see zero risk in that scenario. And of course, I feel that way about other PS vendors as well.
 
They may not offer all that WF & GoG offer...but did you know Union Diamond is a Pricescope vendor...and they''re local to you, I think. They may even have some kind of store front (not sure). Hedarud is a recent very happy camper...and went back to them for more after his first purchase.
 
Yes, i have suggested a trip to NYC from Atlanta. He has never been, so I thouhgt it would be perfect! We can see GOG and maybe ERD, then visit Leon. We can then see the sites in NYC. I am still trying to convince him it is a good idea.

He is very easy going and usually very agreeable, but on this, he is putting his foot down. He thinks we will spend the money on the trip that we would save on the stone. I try to tell him, yes, but we get a stoen and a trip instead of just a stone! I think he may eventually come around, but I am not 100% sure yet. I will have to work on him a bit more. This is the first time in our realtionship that I''ve received any resistence from him!!
 
Be sure you see my post as well as regular guy''s. I think we were all posting at the same time!
 
oh fab! I did not realize Union Diamonds was in ATL. Maybe that will be a good solution. I will read a bit more about them and take a look at their website and go visit them! If a trip to WF or GOG is out, then a visit to Union Diamond may be the next best thing!!
 

Hi mintve,



I am sorry you disagree on this. I understand why your fella is apprehensive also he may not want to lose the experience of 'buying' you the ring. Like Bee* said when she went to Tiffany they got out the champers - the whole 9 yards! That must have been a great experience.



But Dani is right that you guys should treat this as your first compromise, believe me it will be the first of many.



So lets go through the options:



1) Visit a PS vendor.
Pros..BF will have experience, will engender trust, get to try before you buy
Cons...May be costly to travel
Overall=?
2) Buy from local store.
Pros..BF gets to buy the ring he wants the way he wants, it is his cash perhaps you should 'take this one for the team' even if it is not your choice
Cons..You do not want to, it is your ring; why should you 'settle' and perhaps waste money on som'it you don't care for?
Overall=?
3) Buy a small (teensey) diamond from the PS vendor you think you would like to choose.
Pros...You start a relationship with the PS vendor, get confidence, can see what we are all droning on about re quality of stones and quality of service, BF can see how it all turns out. If you buy an upgradeable stone you can credit it towards your e-ring if you buy from them in the end, if not just return in the return period. You can try the service (with a small outlay) before you buy (your rock!). Get the stone appraised as usual then you can have confidence in the vendor and stone and you will be a dab hand when you buy big!
Cons.. After all this Bf may still not go for it..
Overall=?

Re option 2, you could always get him to propose with a ring from a local store that he chooses himself with little input from you, not using much money and you could wear it as a RHR, or you could buy a big rock later on and wear that as a RHR...

It is upsetting, I understand that but it will be ok....

For what it is worth, I woul d go option 3.

ETA: Option 4, get his backside down to Union Diamond! - I just read your last post
 
Mintve - I can completely relate to your thread. My bf is the same way!
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He doesn't understand why someone would buy something as expensive and complex as a diamond online, sight unseen. I explained to him the pros, etc and MAY be getting somewhere.
We are actually doing all options (my ideas and his) and then see what's best.

Online:
First thing I did was contact Pearlman's (they have the ring I am in love with) and Bill was so great and he is actually sending me a sample today. Can't wait for it, I'm going a little crazy waiting for the bell to ring!
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Bill is my first choice so now I'm just trying to show bf how nice it is and how important the workmanship is.
I've also had my bf sit down with me and look at all the great vendors and how the diamond shopping process works and all the details that go into the quality of a diamond. He had never seen an idealscope until last night and was blown away that there is some work and science behind this purchase!
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B&M:
We are going to start visiting and seeing what some have to offer.

Out of state:
My bf wants to use a guy his best friend used. He's based out of LA and we know nothing about him! So I agreed to hear my bf out and we're visiting his booth at an upcoming jewelry show..I'll see what this guy has to say!
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I think between all these options we will find something the both of us can agree on. I agree with Dani, compromise is very important.
Good luck! Keep us posted!!
 
I was apprehensive about buying my GF an Internet stone at first. But this is what I did:

1. Took her shopping to several B&M stores. This was a blast for her because they treat her so well, and I got a good idea of the type of setting she likes, her ring size, and the type of stone (size, shape) she likes.

2. I asked the B&M vendor for the GIA/AGS certificate number and exact carat size (i.e. 1.03ct vs. 1ct). You can then go online and search for "GIA Report Check" or "AGS Report Check" and enter that information in to get the certificate.

3. I used the HCA tool on PriceScope to check if each of the diamonds I saw at a B&M were cut well. I liked this because it helped me understand what I might purchase at a B&M.

My original goal was to inform myself of how to evaluate the cut of a diamond I might buy from a B&M, but the exercise above convinced me to actually shop over the Internet.

Also, if your guy is in finance or likes understanding how markets work, in my opinion the cut of a stone is undervalued in the marketplace right now because there is no good way to evaluate it. B&Ms sell carat/color/clarity well and pay lip service to cut, but you have no good way of knowing how tight the cut really is without tools like HCA or Dave Atlas'' grading system.

So even if in the end he still puts his foot down and wants to buy from a B&M, just be sure he is aware of these tools to help him evaluate the cut of what he buys. In the grand scheme of things even if he ends up spending some extra money on a purchase it isn''t as big a deal as the fact that you two want to get married!

Hope that helps.
 
I think that''s great info/advice Kenny! It''s also nice to hear the male perspective!
 
Date: 12/27/2007 1:31:02 PM
Author: kennyg
I was apprehensive about buying my GF an Internet stone at first. But this is what I did:

1. Took her shopping to several B&M stores. This was a blast for her because they treat her so well, and I got a good idea of the type of setting she likes, her ring size, and the type of stone (size, shape) she likes.

2. I asked the B&M vendor for the GIA/AGS certificate number and exact carat size (i.e. 1.03ct vs. 1ct). You can then go online and search for ''GIA Report Check'' or ''AGS Report Check'' and enter that information in to get the certificate.

3. I used the HCA tool on PriceScope to check if each of the diamonds I saw at a B&M were cut well. I liked this because it helped me understand what I might purchase at a B&M.

My original goal was to inform myself of how to evaluate the cut of a diamond I might buy from a B&M, but the exercise above convinced me to actually shop over the Internet.

Also, if your guy is in finance or likes understanding how markets work, in my opinion the cut of a stone is undervalued in the marketplace right now because there is no good way to evaluate it. B&Ms sell carat/color/clarity well and pay lip service to cut, but you have no good way of knowing how tight the cut really is without tools like HCA or Dave Atlas'' grading system.

So even if in the end he still puts his foot down and wants to buy from a B&M, just be sure he is aware of these tools to help him evaluate the cut of what he buys. In the grand scheme of things even if he ends up spending some extra money on a purchase it isn''t as big a deal as the fact that you two want to get married!

Hope that helps.
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Kenny-

thanks for all the helpful advice. I will shop around at a few more local b&m and get the numbers as you suggested, so I can pull them up online. He is not one for shopping, and I am, so I get to do the leg work. I really hope I can convince him. I forwarded him articles about WF and diamond buying online. I think I will show him this thread as well. He is really worried that we will order a stone, sight unseen w/ just numbers and picutres to guide us and that once we get it, I will not like it as much and wish I bought one I had seen in person. I think its quite the opposite and I will always wonder how nice the stone would have been if it came from online. I also suggested we could buy one from WF, take it with to a b&m to compare and always send it back if we find something better.

If he still is uncomfortable with it, then I will have to try to find the best stone I can from a local b&m.
 
Mintve, Like your boyfriend I was a little hesitant on buying online sight unseen, when I started looking into the diamond thing I didn''t really know what to look for and then I found Pricescope. I learned about the Idealscope and about cut and what makes a diamond a top quality diamond. As a Marketing Manager in my profession I really liked the marketing hype of Hearts on Fire and Tiffany''s (I still love the marketing and what they have done but I would never pay their premium with what I know now) but after reading and following this forum for a few months I learned that I should just do my research on the cut and use the HCA and other tools, then analyze the idealscope images and pull the trigger. I found a few James Allen H&As that were not listed that way on their website until they pulled them in for me and I found, from the stats the perfect stone. I had it shipped to me and it was awesome compared to what I had seen in the B&M stores. Now it is at MWM for setting and I can''t wait to propose in January.

What you need to do is explain to your boyfriend the IdealScope. Show him the technical data on the sites, show him some sample images and explain that this tool is what can prove how brilliant a stone will be. Buy one, use it at the B&M stores after your BF sees what a good IS image is to look like and he will understand why it is important to use an online retailer because he may feel that the B&M stores are trying to sell him a not good stone at a high price, he may feel swindled like I did and go for what he knows. If you explain the technical part of shopping for a diamond your BF will get a better understanding, guys like technical stuff and this will help.

Good Luck
 
Date: 12/27/2007 3:21:27 PM
Author: N2D-986S
Mintve, Like your boyfriend I was a little hesitant on buying online sight unseen, when I started looking into the diamond thing I didn''t really know what to look for and then I found Pricescope. I learned about the Idealscope and about cut and what makes a diamond a top quality diamond. As a Marketing Manager in my profession I really liked the marketing hype of Hearts on Fire and Tiffany''s (I still love the marketing and what they have done but I would never pay their premium with what I know now) but after reading and following this forum for a few months I learned that I should just do my research on the cut and use the HCA and other tools, then analyze the idealscope images and pull the trigger. I found a few James Allen H&As that were not listed that way on their website until they pulled them in for me and I found, from the stats the perfect stone. I had it shipped to me and it was awesome compared to what I had seen in the B&M stores. Now it is at MWM for setting and I can''t wait to propose in January.

What you need to do is explain to your boyfriend the IdealScope. Show him the technical data on the sites, show him some sample images and explain that this tool is what can prove how brilliant a stone will be. Buy one, use it at the B&M stores after your BF sees what a good IS image is to look like and he will understand why it is important to use an online retailer because he may feel that the B&M stores are trying to sell him a not good stone at a high price, he may feel swindled like I did and go for what he knows. If you explain the technical part of shopping for a diamond your BF will get a better understanding, guys like technical stuff and this will help.

Good Luck
Click to expand...

Thanks N2D-

I will try that angle as well. by BF is such a bad shopper, he hates it. he will pay full price or overpay for things b/c its easier. I honestly think shopping online is easier b/c you don''t have to drive to 8 different places to see differnet stones. We have a road trip planned this weekend, so i will have a captive audience ;) wish em luck!

BTW- good luck w/ your proposal. I can''t wait to see your MWM ring (post lots of pics!!). His settings are on the top of my list!
 
When my FI and I started the diamond search and I found PS, I was very reluctant about buying online and he was moreso. I did my homework from all the info here and relayed that info to him.

I explained about the higher quality available (and the better cut would make it more sparkly), that it could be returned, that it was upgradeable, that the vendors I was looking at had been in business a long time, that there were tons of positive reviews about the vendors, etc.

Then we went to Robbins Brothers to look at settings and stones. We looked at the size range of stones I wanted... then found it was way above the budget. Then we looked at stones that were in the budget, which were pretty small though some were pretty decent cuts. I then explained if we bought online, I could get the size I wanted for the price he wanted.

My FI wanted to get the most bling-bang for the buck and not get ripped off... once he realized buying online would give the most bang for the buck and he would not get ripped off, he was all for buying online. If he hadn''t come to that point, we would have had to realllllly shop hard to find the best we could afford locally.

I hope your BF can feel comfortable buying from one of the trusted PS vendors so his money is well spent and you get the diamond you want. But if not, it''s not impossible to find an excellent diamond at a B&M... it just costs more time and money. Either way, I hope you find a diamond and setting both of you love. Good luck.
 
so, if we end up going the local b&m route and maybe use Union diamond, is it OK if there is no idealscope image? is it necessary if you will be viewing the stone in person? At that point, if you ask them to show you AGS ideal or GIA execellent, is it all about preference and what will fit into your budget???
 
Mintve, I have an D VS1 AGS0 diamond from Shane Co (they call it a Shane Classic) and absolutely love it. I am very picky about my diamonds / jewelry and I have absolutely not a single complaint about my diamond, my ering / wring nor the service I receive from them.

Yes, you can get a better price online but my husband also wouldn''t budge on ordering something that expensive online. He wants to see it in person.

Good luck. I hope you find the diamond / ring of your dreams where ever you end up buying it from.
 
Date: 12/27/2007 9:49:46 AM
Author: mintve
Yes, i have suggested a trip to NYC from Atlanta. He has never been, so I thouhgt it would be perfect! We can see GOG and maybe ERD, then visit Leon. We can then see the sites in NYC. I am still trying to convince him it is a good idea.

He is very easy going and usually very agreeable, but on this, he is putting his foot down. He thinks we will spend the money on the trip that we would save on the stone. I try to tell him, yes, but we get a stoen and a trip instead of just a stone! I think he may eventually come around, but I am not 100% sure yet. I will have to work on him a bit more. This is the first time in our realtionship that I've received any resistence from him!!
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Yet the same logic doesnt work when you tell him you'll spend the money in a B&M that you could have saved/spent with an even more reputable and helpful online resource?

Hmm....maybe you just need a bit more time to warm him on the idea.

Also, isnt there a cheap portable idealscope version you can pick up to take along shopping with you? I believe someone posted on in the last couple days...Was like $30 bux or so if I remember correctly
 
Has your BF sat down and read threads here on PS? When I first found this board I thought there was NO WAY I would ever buy a diamond online...I thought it was way too risky. After reading and doing research on here, I felt very comfortable and made my first online diamond purchase through Whiteflash two years ago. I am now waiting on a diamond bracelet that was close to $2300 from WF. I never would have guessed in a million years that I would hand over that kind of cash to a diamond store on the internet! I have these wonderful enablers to thank for that!
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I think you'll find many posters here that had this same attitude that buying a diamond online is crazy, but over time have spent thousands of dollars through PS vendors after hanging out here for a while. Have your BF come here and we'll change his mind!
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Good luck!
 
thanks everyone! I will keep you posted ;)
 
Date: 12/27/2007 5:46:31 PM
Author: marcyc
Mintve, I have an D VS1 AGS0 diamond from Shane Co (they call it a Shane Classic) and absolutely love it. I am very picky about my diamonds / jewelry and I have absolutely not a single complaint about my diamond, my ering / wring nor the service I receive from them.

Yes, you can get a better price online but my husband also wouldn''t budge on ordering something that expensive online. He wants to see it in person.

Good luck. I hope you find the diamond / ring of your dreams where ever you end up buying it from.
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that is good to hear! thanks for the insight marcyc
 
Interesting situation... I''m new here on PS and been a lurker.

Anyways, back to your situation. As a guy, and I can understand why your BF thinks and believe the way he is beliving right now. I was too, before reading tons of threads and doing some research on here (PS). Since I am in the market to buy a e-ring for my girlfriend, I will be doing this.

1. Contact all the PS vendors with my goal in mind on what I want.
2. They will contact me back with a list of what they have or can get.
3. Do some research on the list I receive.
4. Pay for shipping and find a Appraiser (to learn more detail about the diamond itself).
5. If it is a go, I''ll purchase it and tell the vendor it is a go.
6. Find your setting and you have your e-ring.

It isn''t bad to go to the B&M but I have not been comfortable enough to put that much money without doing tons of research and getting a better deal through trusted vendors on PS than any B&M.

I also went to the gift center (Bay Area diamond center), and I was not blown away.

Good luck.
 
mintve, I am in Atlanta, too!

You might want to try Soloman Brothers in Buckhead. They have an online presence, too, but one of the times we were in there were able to pull a number of diamonds out for us. We did go to Union Diamonds location (oddly small), and they said we would be able to look at their inventory online, and they would bring in the ones we were interested in.

As for your BF being worried about buying a diamond sight unseen online, tell him about GOG''s videos. We recently purchased the stone for my ring from them, and the video was a HUGE help. Jon is great, too (Actually, the whole staff is!). OH, and the stone is gorgeous!
 
Date: 12/27/2007 9:53:29 PM
Author: Amandine
mintve, I am in Atlanta, too!

You might want to try Soloman Brothers in Buckhead. They have an online presence, too, but one of the times we were in there were able to pull a number of diamonds out for us. We did go to Union Diamonds location (oddly small), and they said we would be able to look at their inventory online, and they would bring in the ones we were interested in.

As for your BF being worried about buying a diamond sight unseen online, tell him about GOG''s videos. We recently purchased the stone for my ring from them, and the video was a HUGE help. Jon is great, too (Actually, the whole staff is!). OH, and the stone is gorgeous!
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Hey, a fellow Atlantan!! I think I will check out Union Diamond. I''ve been to solomon bros. THey have a great selection. I just think I need a different sales person. The one with whom I spoke thought EGL was better than AGS.
 
Date: 12/27/2007 9:33:25 PM
Author: evolve
Interesting situation... I''m new here on PS and been a lurker.

Anyways, back to your situation. As a guy, and I can understand why your BF thinks and believe the way he is beliving right now. I was too, before reading tons of threads and doing some research on here (PS). Since I am in the market to buy a e-ring for my girlfriend, I will be doing this.

1. Contact all the PS vendors with my goal in mind on what I want.
2. They will contact me back with a list of what they have or can get.
3. Do some research on the list I receive.
4. Pay for shipping and find a Appraiser (to learn more detail about the diamond itself).
5. If it is a go, I''ll purchase it and tell the vendor it is a go.
6. Find your setting and you have your e-ring.

It isn''t bad to go to the B&M but I have not been comfortable enough to put that much money without doing tons of research and getting a better deal through trusted vendors on PS than any B&M.

I also went to the gift center (Bay Area diamond center), and I was not blown away.

Good luck.
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hey evolve-

welcome to the forums and out of lurkdom ;)

I will talk to my bf this weekend. he may be up for b&m shopping and buying, then internet shopping and having the stone sent to an appraiser. then, we cna look at the two side by side and decide which one to keep and which one to return :)
we shall see...
 
Is he afraid that an online vendor would not refund your money if you returned? Obviously, all of the PS recommended vendors will cheerfully return your money if the diamond turns out not to be for you. You can order a loose stone, look at it, and return it to the vendor for setting with most people, so you can very thoroughly examine the diamond before you commit to the purchase. I just don't quite understand the issue - these vendors are certainly not going to cheat you. It's funny, though, my bank tried to talk me out of wiring thousands to WF, because their bank account was "whiteflash.com" and the lady at the bank gave me a lecture about sending money to people you only know through the internet. We know better, though, right?

Maybe it would help your bf if you could narrow it down to a handful of stones online for him. I think that shopping online can be overwhelming because of all the options, and the perception that you can't tell diamonds apart without a lot of knowledge about how to interpret their specs. Maybe he's just overwhelmed and doesn't know where to start.
 
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