Newly engaged paranoid ring owner (with pictures)

[Classie]

Hi everyone! My wonderful FI recently gave me a 1.51 carat diamond on a very dainty setting, which I do love. However, to my complete disturbance, I quickly realized the jeweler had given him the ring with the diamond very loose in its setting! I could literally spin the diamond around.

Obviously we took it in that day and had it fixed, but since then, I have been beyond paranoid about the diamond (even with our insurance set up with it). I won't shower with it on, cook with it, clean, etc.. And I check to make sure it's still there about four dozen times a day. I feel like my first experience with a diamond has made me really paranoid about loosing it.

My setting has 4 prongs. How crazy is it to change it to 6 prongs? Would it be a whole new setting? How much safer is 6 prongs vs 4?

Another concern of mine, is that my ring is constantly moving to the wrong position, in fact it's in the wrong place more often than not. I'm including a picture of what it should look like, and what it ends up doing. Is this a sizing problem, or because it is a solitaire? It's sized at a 5.5, and I feel a 5.25 or 5 would be perfect.. but that's so much trouble for such a small difference. Is this why some people get balls added to the back of theirs?

I wanted to add that it "slips" towards my knuckle only in the front, the back of the ring stays where it should be. If that makes any sense at all.

I haven't been able to enjoy my ring as much because I've been so concerned about it. When we go out sometimes I wish I could just keep my beautiful ring at home safe but I know that would break my FI's heart. Maybe everyone is like this at first? Someone slap me!

 

[yssie]

Congratulations on your engagement!!!

I do think a lot of us were utterly paranoid at first! But yeah, you WILL bang your ring at some point - hard enough to shock you - and unless you're very very unlucky setting, stone, and hand will all be just fine! (I'm laughing out loud because I just whacked mine a few days ago and that was exactly my order of concern - setting, then stone, and my finger last!)

Sizing beads can help with small differences like you're concerned about. I don't find beads very comfortable so I'd go with a flat bar or something instead, but that's just personal preference! If you like the way four prongs looks I *really* don't think changing the aesthetic is worth the extra security of six, especially if your stone is insured... I'd say just wear it and enjoy it, and be as careful as you can be!

 

[liaerfbv]

I think as time goes on you'll calm down about it a little bit. It's good to treat it gently, but jewelry is meant to be worn and loved. If you leave it at home, what good is it doing you? You have insurance on it, now take a deep breath -- and love it!

As for the movement, as long as it's not in danger of falling off your knuckle, I wouldn't size it until the summer when your hands will be at their largest. Also, when you add your wedding band that will stop much of the movement as well.

 

[KristinTech]

Beautiful ring! Congrats on becoming engaged.

You're extra paranoid because of the loose prong--that is normal to feel that way, especially given your circumstances with how it wasn't secure when you got it. You look at it 12 times a day because it's beautiful. Given your slender, tapered finger shape, I would be concerned about you losing the ring altogether. You may need it sized down a half size or so.

The experts will chime in about 4 vs. 6 prongs. I have a 1 ct. oval e-ring that has four prongs. I have worn it morning, noon, and night for almost 14 years with issues only recently with a prong having to be tightened. Four is generally considred "safe enough," given normal wear. Some people really prefer the look of six over four (and vice versa!). Talk to the jeweler about the timeframe to replace the head (if it's possible with your ring type). But act faster to get the ring sized down if necessary!

 

[Classie]

Thank you everyone!

I think I will stop in with our jeweler and get his input. The diamond is set up high and has such a lovely look to it that I feel like two more prongs would kind of take away from the sides of the diamond, so I will have to decide if it is worth it. My partner worked so hard picking it out that I would hate to change anything!

As for the resizing, I hadn't thought about the wedding band as a factor. I think a previous poster is absolutely correct, and it will probably fit perfectly once another ring is being worn.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

It is a good idea anyway to not wear a pave diamond ring (or any kind) when working out, cleaning, cooking, etc. It will keep your ring looking newer longer. That is just good basic care advice. As others have said, just enjoy your ring! That's why you are paying for insurance!

 

[motownmama]

Beautiful ring - congrats!!!!!! You sound waaaaay too paranoid. It's unfortunate that the stone was loose when you got the ring, but you should be OK now. Not wearing your new ring??? No - that's not right. Six vs four prongs ? There's a lot to read on this site about that. Since you've got this paranoia - maybe it's worth it to reset it with 6-prongs. Also - the difference b/t size 5.5 and 5.0 is a lot. I'd recommend you at least get a sizing ball such as I have in my ER (or two: one at 4;00 and 8:00ish). If you get a wide wedding ring then, yes, your ER is pushed up to a fleshier part of your finger, but if your WB is about as wide as your ER, which is very dainty, then it won't affect the size. For what it's worth, my fingers do not change markedly in the summer and I wear the same size I did before I had 4 kids. There's no good way to generalize, is all I'm saying. I think you'd be happier now with sizing the ring down or with sizing bead(s). It will feel more secure on your hand. Good luck!

 

[Laila619]

The engineer in me knows that 6 prongs are much safer than 4, so I always recommend a 6 prong setting if possible.

Congrats on your engagement!

 

[Classie]

Does anyone know how much work it is to change the prongs from 4 to 6? Both cost wise, but also I believe I've heard horror stories about the diamond getting damaged and such.. Not sure if this has anything to do with prongs, though!

I'm a little upset at myself. When we looked at rings months ago, the salesmen looked at my hand at was like "I bet you're a 6.5, 7?". I didn't really know myself, so when I tried on the 5.5 I didn't want to ask to try on smaller if my fingers looked like a 7? I don't really think fingers are something you can gauge in size that easily, though... My fault, should have asked to try smaller!

 

[SMC]

I believe that you have to change the head to swap from 4 to 6 prongs. I don't know how much work that would be or if your jeweler will recommend you build an entirely new setting.

My ering flops forward too, but I think that it's just a gravity thing. If you can fling it off your hand if you shake your hand vigorously, then it's too loose and needs to be resized. My ering was originally sized at a 4, and I could shake it off when my hands were cold. Sizing down just a quarter size made all the difference. My ering still spins and drops, but it doesn't come off.

Does your ring have pave all around the band? If it's a full eternity, then sizing will be way more difficult - sizing beads may be the best option.